Candice Wu 0:00

This episode is the introduction to a cleanse on your relational world. Cleansing your relational world and your dynamics can support you in feeling joy in your life now, being more present, and releasing old ties that have kept you tied in. Also, just some brief updates about my trip to Mexico as well as a recent proprioceptive writing retreat and the sensual topics that have come out of that.

Candice Wu 0:31

Hello, and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, embodied healing, and self-love.

Candice Wu 0:44

My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist, sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 1:05

Starting today, February 10th, 2020, for one month, I will be offering the first part of the dream classes that’s on Skillshare for free. This is about how to uncover and awaken your dream life, the basics of remembering and recording your dreams. So, it’s how to prepare your body somatically and energetically to be able to better remember your dreams and tips and tools for recording those dreams so that you can catch those dream fragments and stories as you wake up. You can find the class at CandiceWu.com/dreamclass1, and you’ll be able to sign up for a free membership there where the class is free once you get into Skillshare.

Candice Wu 1:53

There, you can also find other classes on how to support yourself in waking up your dream life and recording your dreams, accessing your dreams, the importance of dreamwork, and how it can support you and your life as well as upcoming dream classes that I will be creating on how to glean the wisdom from your dream life, for your waking life, for your heart and your soul, and for who you are.

Candice Wu 2:23

Welcome back to the Embody Podcast. This week, I am in Mexico, and last week, you may have heard the episode on solo travel, some of my fears that I was deconstructing and what was happening for me as I began the journey again to live abroad and travel. At this point, I am in Mexico, I’m in Mexico City, it would be today that I’d be transiting to Oaxaca with a friend, and if you want to hear about my travels and how it’s going, you’ll have to tune in next week because I’m recording this one week in advance so that I can let myself have time to settle in without worrying about the podcast and internet and all that stuff and just let myself surrender, wander and explore just the way I want to.

Candice Wu 3:10

One of the most exciting things for me about travel is to set myself into a completely different environment that lets me see, then see myself more deeply and also see where I’m holding constructs that are not really real, but you know, just one way of being because I get to experience the constructs in another environment or from a totally different angle, and language set, especially when another language involved. It comes with an entire embodied way of being an entire experience set that lives within the words and the experience of that culture.

Candice Wu 3:56

So, I’m excited about that and that relates right to what I did last weekend, which was a proprioceptive writing retreat at Hope Springs Institute. It was just what I needed. I feel like it was the perfect retreat for me to get connected with myself on a deeper level aligned to my experience, what I mean when I speak, what I, where I’m coming from, and yet also a stronger awareness of the space in between me and my projections or me and my thoughts, me and the experiences I’ve had, so that I’m more centered in my aware self.

Candice Wu 4:41

Coming up soon, I’ll also do an episode about that writing retreat and the process of it, and perhaps read some of the writings that came through, and it really is a process of listening inward and observing what comes through and writing it down, and then asking a question of: What do I mean by and whatever word has some aliveness? To follow that thread of energy and let it come through as to what is held in the proprioceptive being, the being of us that is aware of space and time and aware of our body, and holds the experience of this life and all the lives that came before it in terms of past and lineage, so it was amazing. And I hope to do a constellations retreat there. So, for all of you who have been asking about retreats, it’s coming and this place is magical and the perfect place to do it.

Candice Wu 5:41

A couple of weeks ago, I spoke about Mary Oliver in the episode where I read her poem, Wild Geese, and I’m still stuck with the words: “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” And this writing retreat brought me closer to what I love and what touches me in a really deep way, and some of the themes that I’ve been exploring right now are sleep disruptions and tiredness, eroticism, gassiness, who people are to me, and the ones that seem highlighted in my life, my associations around fuck and fucking, the words fuck and fucking, sensuality, intimacy, polyamory and play. It’s a lot of relationship stuff, and sexuality and sensuality.

Candice Wu 6:36

I’ve been curious about true intimacy, like the deepest kind where there is bare seeing and nothing to hide and nothing to hide from, and that even the most mundane things have this vulnerable, intimate, erotic quality to them, when seen in that kind of light and that beauty. I had a romantic experience with someone recently that just brought me to this level of artistry, presence and being. And it also reminded me of the great tamer, this dance production that I recently saw in New York that had this quality of presence, seeing and the mundane things as sensual and beautiful, yet, also macabre and deathly, and disjointed, and this remembering of things, bringing things together.

Candice Wu 7:41

So, all that’s floating around in me, and if you’re interested in that show or Hope Springs or the proprioceptive writing retreat, I’ll link that on the show notes and get a little taste of what’s been going on for me. Well, stay tuned for that episode where I do talk more about proprioceptive writing because it is an important process now in my life, and I think it’s really helpful and just aligns with a lot of the ways that I already tune in and listen, and to write it down gives it another level but there’s a slowness to the quality of the process that is really powerful, especially when shared with another person or a group.

Candice Wu 8:25

But now for today’s topic, I want to talk about cleansing our relationships, bringing them all up to speed to the present moment, that is to say, to align to the right now, the truth of this moment, and giving it a space for what wants to have been said, and what wants to be said now as well as heard or received in the interaction and exchange between you and another. That may have been lingering festering inside you for a long time or that may be very present with you now in terms of timing that it’s happening now in your life.

Candice Wu 9:10

Have you had a relationship with someone that long ended? And this can be a friend relationship, a colleague, a family member, an animal, an intimate relationship, any, anyone, but that this relationship is still tugging on you in some way or coming back. Relationships are held within you. They’re not just a physical experience and on the physical dimension. So, just discarding them or ending it doesn’t always do the job. If we’re fully integrated in that moment, and feeling all the fields and acknowledging all of what is there, which is hard as a human being, then maybe it is done, and only you know, but if you’ve ever had that relationship that you haven’t been in contact with someone for years or even decades, but you can’t stop thinking about a certain thing about it, and it, perhaps bugs you where it hurts or you want it to go away and you push it away or better yet, you’re having dreams and they’re coming into your dreams or the thought like, why can’t I get over this or over them or why won’t this leave me? There’s a layer of frustration over the experience.

Candice Wu 10:34

And so, to let the frustration set to the side or any other feelings of shame or guilt, just give a little space for what else wants to be said, what else needs to be seen or acknowledged within that dynamic and dimension, and relationship, then perhaps it can truly integrate an end. There is a reason that it’s coming back, and that overall reason is that there’s something here for you to hold into your heart. There’s something to feel through about it, and there’s some wisdom there, and then there’s some letting go or some feeling through and releasing, perhaps. Whatever it is, is likely unconscious or buried so deep because it could be painful or it could be uncomfortable or maybe you just haven’t given yourself the time, and this is a chance here in this experiential to give yourself the space, the awareness, attention, and love, to hold the experience, to let whatever it is in that relationship be heard, be acknowledged, so that you can truly move on in your heart, in your psyche, in your soul, and in your body.

Candice Wu 12:08

So, it’s a chance to hit the refresh and reset button, and sometimes, this does mean saying goodbye fully where parts of you haven’t or sometimes, it just energetically ends certain dynamics and patterns of ways of being between you and this person or the meanings that you apply in this relationship. Perhaps, it just changes all that up, let’s that end and allows you to have something new going forward, whether that’s with this person or not, but you cleanse the palate, so to speak.

Candice Wu 12:46

We are working with our shadow with whatever we project in this experience onto the other person, what they mean to us and how we perceive them. The meaning of the interaction or exchange, and when we look at the shadow, when we connect with a person that has meant anything to us, there usually is a golden part of the shadow and a dark part, and to fully integrate, in my experience, noticing and witnessing, feeling through both has allowed it to fully digest and to organically have its place. And for me, to move on if moving on is necessary or whatever the movement is that wants to come through next. So, to receive the “good and the bad” to integrate the whole of it, the painful and pleasant parts.

Candice Wu 13:57

Nick Werber, one of my good friends and colleagues in family constellations and somatic work. He also was on the podcast twice. He says that he does a ritual with those that he cares about, and it’s: I say goodbye to who you were to make room for who you are. That is an incredibly powerful statement to do that regularly with someone you love. Whether that’s together or within yourself so that you can stay present to what’s truly here now.

Candice Wu 14:39

It’s really our own perceptions of that person that we’re saying goodbye to, and that’s part of who we are. But this goodbye, this ending allows us to take in something and find its completion, it’s fruits. You know, when someone dies or an experience ends. Have you had that experience where you’re just flooded with the feelings of appreciation or hurt or anger or fear, just all these different emotions that you might have felt throughout the experience and yet they’re culminating and coalescing right at this peak moment where the goodbye is coming or happening? The ending lets us see what it truly was, and so, if we give ourselves that ending on a regular basis, even internally, because each day has ended, because each moment ends as soon as it’s had and a new moment begins, then we can truly be present or have more of our capacity in the present moment than in the past.

Candice Wu 16:00

I think of horses and they’re so present. Yes, they do have trauma and that weaves in, but by and large, they face what’s right in front of them, and what they’re presented with, and they are congruent with theirs, what their body wants and feels in that situation and express that outwardly. Sometimes, they walk away from each other, and they do it. They don’t sort of do it. They don’t think about it, they don’t halfway do it, they do it or sometimes there’s a little bristle between one horse and another and later, they’re over it and their nuzzling. Sometimes, that’s their play, and sometimes it’s loaded with frustration or fight, but there’s clearness to how present they are in the moment, and they learn. They learn that if something feels different, and it’s a little safer, they can begin to let their guard down just a little. And of course, it’s at their pace, but the present moment gives them something new.

Candice Wu 17:13

And I wish that for all of you that the present moment gives you something new, fresh, something you don’t even know and expect, which Yes, I get can be scary. The unknown. It can be magical to be present in that unknown, to hold yourself with love through whatever it feels like.

Candice Wu 17:37

I had a couple of these long term relationships living in even though they were long gone in real life in “real life”, you know, in the physical realm, and one of them I was holding a lot of guilt and shame about how I acted with them and it wasn’t like I did anything wrong, but I noticed how needy I was in that situation, and this person just had a baby. And of course, they had their own needs, I was just so clingy with them, and it took some time for me to notice all of what came up for me and why, why I was that way or what happened that led up to it, and the belief sets that are underneath that, and all that was held with this place marker of this person, and it really wasn’t about that person at all, but about my fears and that situation and what was left undone.

Candice Wu 18:36

So, this is a chance to give yourself the attention and let your imagination come in so that whatever needs to happen can happen. Whatever did not get to happen can happen, and this is the way we can let ourselves digest it using that tool, the brilliant tool of our imagination to fuel and give resources to healing and wholeness. It’s a chance to bring all the cells in our body as much as we are aware of to the alignment of who we are now, in the present moment now, rather than leaving some incomplete and half, half baked, so to say or half moved through and experienced, but to complete those as we see them, knowing that not everything ever could be complete, but some can.

Candice Wu 19:32

So, I’m going to divide this episode into two parts so that it’s just this introduction and then the experiential, and that you continue into the experiential on its own without all this extra stuff in front. And if you want, you can repeat the experiential and do something like a one a day cleanse or once a week cleanse, were you do this experiential with another person, another person on perhaps the list you’ve made of all those important to you, all those who have been important to or have touched her life in some way, both positively and negatively or pleasantly and painfully, however, you see it the whole dimension, those that you wanted in your life and those who didn’t. You could make a list of all those people.

Candice Wu 20:26

You can make a list of all the present people in your life, those that you want to devote more time to or cultivate more as well as those who may want to find a new distance or space or boundary with, and you get to choose, you get to take a look at that and see what’s there and held in that relationship that means something to you. And if you don’t know where they are placed in your life right now or where you want to place them, in a sense, what you want in terms of that relationship. And of course, we can’t control what they want, but what you want, then you could do this process and see what happens in the aftermath because I’ve often found that this has been a reset button where even where I thought I would say goodbye completely and walk away and give a lot of space in between me and this person, perhaps not communicate with them anymore or way less. That reset, that cleansing has brought something fresh in our relationship and a new desire in me to connect and from a different place of myself.

Candice Wu 21:50

So, who knows? And I invite you to leave it open so that the space for something new can happen whether that’s being in their lives or not, whether that’s new relationships coming in and the space for it or other things that you can relate to an experience in your life that this gives space for. So, tune into the episode as it comes out later this week, and I hope you enjoy it and find more space for being present in what you want, here and now, today.

Candice Wu 22:27

Before we close today, and we tuned into the experiential, want to mention the ally with death experiential. It’s an audio experience now which guides you through a simulation of your death. I just wanted to bring it up because it really relates to this process of allying with death to integrate and bring space for the present. You can check it out at CandiceWu.com/death. Also, if this episode has been interesting for you, you might touch into a few other episodes that relate to relationships endings, letting go and sinking up with the present, including the episode of toxic relationships and ancestry, the challenging relationships in your family. You can find that at CandiceWu.com/podcast.

Candice Wu 23:27

The episode on Relationships Ending, Good Grief at CandiceWu.com/relationshipendings. There’s also the episode on energetic boundaries and how to strengthen your energetic field and clear any absorb energy, and that’s specifically Episode 30a: Sorting and Clearing your Vibration. You can find that at CandiceWu.com/ep30. And lastly, the episode on The Past Being Over and some experientials there at CandiceWu.com/pastisover. All of these will be linked in the show notes for you. So, check it out as well as all the things I mentioned in the podcast today.

Candice Wu 24:08

Before you go, I’d like to invite you to sign up for the Embody Community newsletter, and it’s a newsletter that goes out once or twice a month, giving you updates on where I am in the world, what’s going on with me, updates on podcasts and self-love notes as well as any retreats and events that are coming up. You can find that at CandiceWu.com/embody.

Candice Wu 24:32

Thanks so much for joining me today, and see you next time on the Embody Podcast.

Candice Wu 0:00
This is an experiential to support you in cleansing your relationship dynamics and to have more presence and space for what's coming in your life now. If you'd like some context around this experiential, as far as what this experiential might support you with, the ideas behind it, and what it might offer you, feel free to check that out at CandiceWu.com/relationshipcleanse.

Hello and welcome. You're listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing and self-love. My name is Candice Wu and I'm a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist, sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Here in this experiential, I will offer you a variety of statements and suggestions that you might do, as far as looking at a specific relationship that has meant anything to you.

I will also leave space for what organically wants to come up throughout the experience. The unique experience that is to you and this other person or people, and what wants to happen as it evolves and unfolds in the here and now.

In the intro episode, you might have heard me suggest that making a list of all the people that have been meaningful to you both in pleasant and unpleasant ways, both past and present, this can be really helpful in your process of cleansing and really taking a thorough inventory if you so choose to. If not, you might just choose somebody that you're working with now, in your soul, in your heart.

For you, it might be helpful or not to start with somebody who is easy in terms of your feelings for that person that it's not so complicated or complex, and then build-up to the ones that are more challenging, that bring either painful feelings or uncomfortable feelings, however, you choose to do it. It is incredibly resourceful for the nervous system if you choose something that feels safe to begin and build the capacity in your body to go towards some more difficult pieces.

If you have a large capacity for feeling and sensing through, this might not matter as much for you. But if you did want to play with it, it might also give you something different.

I trust that you'll know exactly who you need to begin with and how you need to begin, and will let your intuition guide the way. So feel free to connect with yourself in any way that feels comfortable, any way that's supportive to you, whether that's touch, just tuning in, noticing your breath or anything else.

Notice what's here for you, in this moment, finding that connection with the relationship to yourself.

And when you're ready, feel free to stand up if you want to take this into a full-body movement experience, or sit or lie down whatever's right for you.

I invite you to notice your whole body, your emotions, the sensations in your body, thoughts, images, movements, throughout the experience.

Now bring one person that has meant anything to you, or touched your life in some way to the forefront.

If you're standing, you might imagine them standing somewhere in your space, where you could put place markers, like a piece of paper with their name on it, or an object that can stand in to represent or just imagine it.

And as you open the space with this person, just notice whatever it is that you feel or perceive in relation to them. Are you able to look at them? Do you see them looking at you? Is it hard or easy to and what is the feeling? How is your body?

Stay with whatever wants to emerge and be felt, and acknowledged or begin to notice what words might want to be said from either end.

Feel free to say out loud to this person, anything that you might need to say.

Let yourself be as honest as possible. This is your private time and space, in your imaginative field.

Notice if there's anything you wish to hear from them, feel free to imagine them saying this, and yes using the tool of imagination as a healing support for you.

Continue to observe how this feels for you, what you notice in your body, what distance you and this other person are at and what feels comfortable. You get to decide.

Now, feel free to stand in the other person's place. So, if you're literally standing, you can walk over at your pace and look towards yourself, and if you're imagining this, imagine dipping up into the ethers and landing in their energy, looking towards you and feel what it's like to be in their place, looking towards you.

Notice if there are any words or affections or movements that want to be expressed, and let yourself do that.

Notice if there are any messages from this person to you at a deeper level, at the level of the soul and spirit.

Notice anything else there's to notice and to feel, and whenever you're ready, come back to your place. Feel free to imagine that you've washed yourself with crystal clear white light and lands back in your place.

Now I'll offer a few words that may or may not fit your situation, your relationship, or your vernacular, and feel free to adjust them as it fits you. And if something doesn't resonate with you, just let it pass and feel free to say whatever there is to say in your words, or wait for the next one. And we'll also leave some time at the end for anything else that wants to be said or felt.

So the first phrase from you to this person, feel free to say it out loud.

“Thank you”

The next one. “Thank you for the lesson.”

“Please.” And sometimes a strain as wishes come through there, “Please, please.”

Another one you can try on is, “No.”

And as we continue forward, if there are some that just really strike you more deeply, feel free to stay with that, pause here in the recording if you need to, or just ignore the next words or feel free to come back at the end.

And now a sentence, “I take responsibility for the hurt or pain that happened in this relationship and I leave you with yours.”

Another one you might try on is, “You will always hold a special place in my heart.”

“I receive what you gave me and I make more with it.”

“Thank you for your part of my journey. Thank you for being on my journey with me.”

And another idea is, “I agree to this for some time and I no longer agree to this.”

And again, just noticing which words fit for you, which don't, just leaving the ones behind that don't, and maybe taking the ones with you that do, and just a few more suggestions here to try on.

“Please bless me on my way and I bless you on yours.”

Or, “I am at peace with you.”

Or, “I can love you from a distance.”

Take a moment if you feel like it, to sense the color of your own energy and sense the color of their energy, wherever there's any color that's inside of you that belongs to them, let it magnetize back towards this person.

Take any time you need to sense into any other feelings that live in your body, that you sense in the relationship or space in between, any words that need to be said.

Now, notice if there's anything else that needs to be said or done in this relationship at the moment, any feelings that need to be honored within you.

If you want to, invite a clear white light to come in between you, the energy of presence and love.

Invite this person to stand and be at a distance that feels comfortable for you. Ranging from next to you to across the world or into outer space, whatever feels right.

Notice how you feel now at the end of the experience, take an inner imprint of what's happening inside and savor any parts of you that feel relief, expansiveness, any pleasant feeling while you take note of any feelings that are still wanting to make their way through.

Of course, as always, feel free to come back to parts of this that you wanted to come back to, or need more time with.

And, I'll leave you with a little bit of gentle music here or, you can do that or come back to your space and your surroundings and into your life.

Feel free to rewind this all the way back to the beginning of the experiential, where the experiential starts, if you want to do this with another person, or trust yourself to work with the next person knowing what you need, allowing the space for what wants to come up to do so organically.

And I wish you all the best with letting the dynamics end and conclude, to die, and for renewal, rejuvenation to happen within you and in your relationships.

Thanks so much for joining me today and see you next time in the Embody Podcast.

Candice Wu 0:06

Richard has dedicated his life to loving Love with a capital L. And in this episode, received the invitation to connect with the wildness of the soul, the part that wants to dance with love and die into love.

Candice Wu 0:21

He shares about experiencing life challenges as the deeper opportunity of our lives to love, the experience of intimacy, how relationships are a way to accelerate, loving Love, embodiment as a beginning and endless journey, planting a tree in fear and sitting there until their shelter, and that there are no guarantees of security or identity in life, even if we borrow it from the past or future.

Candice Wu 0:46

Hello and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, embodied healing, and self-love.

Candice Wu 1:00

My name is Candice Wu and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 1:22

This episode is supported by the monthly group call that provides Embodied Healing and spiritual support. In each call, you’ll receive loving support in moving through your emotions, tuning into your intuition, developing your empowerment and body wisdom, as well as clearing limiting beliefs through your entire being, and looking at any ancestral pieces that may be inherited.

Candice Wu 1:46

Each group is limited to four people to keep it in a small group. And the call happens typically once a month on Sunday, the second Sunday or Tuesday of the month at 10 am, Central. You can find this at my Patreon page at CandiceWu.com/patreon.

Candice Wu 2:04

It’s really with great honor that I introduce Richard Moss today. I admired his work as soon as I saw it, when I saw him speaking on YouTube. And, as I looked at his website and his books, I already felt a transmission of energy, this sense of living life the soul, through the heart, and viewing all of our experiences with a loving presence, with witness, this very embodied way to be while also seeing the spiritual development of our consciousness in everything.

Candice Wu 2:44

You might even hear it in this conversation that at some point we talk about why is this called the Embody Podcast and something in me happened where the energy and the conversation of what we’d already been talking about, it just kind of ruffled up my whole being. And you’ll hear what I say. And I’m not sure that I would say that in any other day. But here it is, and what wanted to come through I trust. But I felt so much of warmth in me. And a shift into being as a more fluid experience. And shifting out of this mentality of production, or this outcome of life that my ego, my mind, wants things to be, which has been a life journey. So it’s not this profound moment that just happened here. But it was another level of that, and shedding another layer of that ego drive that can push me at times and moving into more loving.

Candice Wu 3:53

In 1977, Richard was a practicing physician in the ER when he experienced a spontaneous state of illumination. And he describes this as this moment where he sensed that all he could give this patient was love.

Candice Wu 4:10

I love this story. And also appreciate how he experiences this as an ongoing journey, not just this moment of awakening, but something that he’s been deepening in for years and years.

Candice Wu 4:25

Richard’s work is about catalyzing you to live as fully and creatively as you were born to live. And his goal is that you don’t just follow his or her work, but that you learn to become your own teacher. And I love that that’s everything of what the Embody Podcast is about. So I hope that you enjoy this episode with Richard. And I give him a very warm welcome here. Without further ado, here’s Richard.

Candice Wu 4:52

I’m very excited to have you here today, Richard, it’s such an honor, I, my first interaction or connection with your work was actually seeing you on YouTube. And the first sentence I heard, I was just like, oh, and you’d said something at a piece, convention or conversation about, there’s really nothing that we can be grateful for. And it was so much about how you said it and the energy you brought to that, the presence you brought to that moment that really spoke to me. So I want to welcome you here to the show today.

Richard Moss 5:33

Thank you, Candice, thank you very much. Always, it’s always an honor. And it’s so in alignment with my life to speak with someone who wants to help others. And for all of us, who help others really understand the opportunity of our deeper nature and potential. And to share with that and to inspire them to share about that, and to inspire that is the whole purpose of my life.

Candice Wu 6:03

That’s so beautiful. And, I feel that too, although you say it more eloquently than I do. But I also have read a little bit about or maybe heard more, from you about love, choosing to love Love, is —

Richard Moss 6:20

Exactly.

Candice Wu 6:22

Yeah. Can you say more about that now and where you are in on your journey?

Richard Moss 6:27

You’re right. I mean, it’s where I am at my journey now. And I can look back at my life and see how quite literally love was calling me. And that I understood that it only partially, at each time, the call was so clear and profound. And by love in that sense, I don’t mean or I mean a good deal more than but I certainly do mean the love that we can learn to share with another person, the personal love, the love in particular that I’ve created now for 30 something years with my stepson. And that love that we know, with people that were deeply connected to, but there was a different level, a much deeper level, call it a capital L lover.

Richard Moss 7:21

And it was calling to me in an emergency room. I was an ER doc a long time ago because I left medicine a long time ago, but it was a very important training, a different grounding, particularly as to the mind and a particular vision of what we are. But I was in the emergency room and very briefly all that happened was I was about to sedate him and for observation had been quite violent. He was actually a policeman there. And just as I was about to sedate him, this voice in my head, which was not a thought type of voice, it just said, “you have nothing to share this man except love.”

Richard Moss 8:02

Now put this in perspective, I think I was 28 years old. And what I did was I handed this syringe, I was going to inject this man with it back to the nurse and I just said to him, “I’m going to just put my hands on you the way I would want to be touched if I was in tremendous pain and fear.”

Richard Moss 8:31

And I just put one hand at the very top of his head just a kind of — the way you would touch a child’s head in, a baby’s head, just to comfort them, just to create that — to renew that ever always connection and the other hand was just softly over his belly and I got just blindingly hot. And I had been in a meditation group and I’ve met a teacher that showed me how to sense energy. So it was not like it was completely foreign to put my hands that way. But it was the voice that said you have nothing to share with this man that loved.

Richard Moss 9:13

Except for bringing my hands near him and just telling you just hardly touching him, just the softest touch. And this heat, this tremendous heat in the man went completely to sleep. The nurse sat down on a chair, the room got so hot. The security guard actually went to open a window and then he sat down in the chair. And I just was transfixed in a level of energy I never knew existed before. It was just pure love. And, because, I don’t know what else to call it.

Richard Moss 9:49

And then it was over, after, I would see, you know, things always seem longer in memory. But certainly a minute or two I just stood there, which was bizarre. I mean, I even, there was a part of my mind was saying, “oh my god, this nurse must think I’m gone nuts.” I mean, she knew me for a few years.

Richard Moss 10:10

So it was, that was one of the first times I was called. And I was called many other times, to that love that is really literally the backbone of the universe is what Walt Whitman calls it. I mean, the mystic poets and the mystics, and the great spiritual sages all talk about the very essence of creation is love. If you want to attribute something we know is an embodied feeling to the absolute unknowable mystery of God, then probably love is what brings us as close to source and God as anything can and we all taste it in our personal love, we all taste it in our relationships.

Richard Moss 10:52

But that calling of love finally became the realization that it wasn’t about loving another person, it was about loving Love with others. And loving Love with my wife, Katherine, is very different than saying, “I’m in love with you, do you love me?”

Richard Moss 11:12

We have a deep understanding, both of us, through very different paths. That intuitive said it was obeying and celebrating. It was listening to and celebrating the higher self with another. But she, too, has joined me in the language of loving Love itself.

Richard Moss 11:32

And the other one of the other ways that I was called to this love was back in the early 90s, when I found a beautiful piece of artisan paper that was embossed with a series of concentric circles and around the outside or across it in French, it was in French, and I was with a good friend who’s also, at this point, I was many years into being a consciousness or spiritual if we want to call it that teacher, which means a constant student of everything. And then, so he translated for me and the words were from St. Bernard and it goes like this, “Who loves, loves Love. And loving Love forms a circle. So complete, there is no end to love.”

Richard Moss 12:31

And so in the 90s that became a mantra, the emergency room situation happened maybe in 1975, early 76.

Richard Moss 12:43

And those are just examples of what so loving Love is like having a third consciousness. Because you and I are speaking, we’re in a relationship. It’s dedicated to much the same thing it is bringing the opportunity, the incredible invitation of deepening and consciousness and deepening in heart and embodying heart.

Richard Moss 13:11

And then I’d love to know why you ended up calling this the Embody Podcast that to me is really significant. And so that became a mantra that St. Bernard quote, that’s been 26, 27 years with me. And then in the last number of years, I began to realize that it was truly about loving Love, not about being loved or loving someone else, which is all-important and essential and fundamental as well. But that kind of love can come or go, especially personal love, you know, you can love someone and then hate them, if they don’t love you. When transactional love is there, you know.

Candice Wu 13:53

Yeah.

Richard Moss 13:53

I think for the vast majority of us, there’s no transaction between us and our children. The vast majority, it’s, it just is love. But for most of us, you know you love someone and then they stop behaving the way you want them to. And you start having to deal with your own inner stuff and projected on them and vice versa. And pretty soon we’re in conflict. And pretty soon we’re telling ourselves the stories that destroy that love. And it’s gone and is replaced by indifference or defensiveness, or anger or even hate, which is so sad and so basic, to an awakened human consciousness. So that’s what I mean by loving Love. It’s a third consciousness, it’s mediating between Cathy and myself. It’s watching, it’s listening. It’s not just an abstraction for me, it’s a living presence.

Candice Wu 14:52

It’s beautiful. I really feel connected to that loop. From that quote of loving Love. And I feel that experience of what you’re speaking to that there’s this third, living, breathing witness to the experience of relating, and the consciousness that we each are, who we are in it. And seeing it from that place, it holds everything, feels like it holds everything.

Richard Moss 15:28

It does. And that doesn’t mean that it’s easy. It does not mean that all of the work, we must, actually we have to learn to do this. And then we have to become passionate about practicing it but all of the work to understand how we poison love, with our thinking, with our disembodied obstructions, our beliefs, our belief systems, our judgments are unprocessed pain from the past and wounding from childhood, of various degrees, you know, and what we’ve inherited from our ancestral lineage, and then what ultimately all of us are bathing in terms of enormous collective patterns, such as the dominance of patriarchy in the world for thousands and thousands of years.

Richard Moss 16:26

And what that’s meant to men in terms of their identity and how they are even, how they’re blinded, or very limited in their ability to perceive woman, women, the feminine, in themselves, and certainly outside in others, and vice versa. Because patriarchy also has a very limiting narrowing effect on how women see themselves, believe in themselves and behave.

Richard Moss 16:53

And we’re breaking free now. There’s a wildness of a soul that’s coming forth now. And it’s liberating us from that. But it’s a hard work daily, moment by moment often.

Candice Wu 17:04

Yeah, I think you’re really touching on exactly why this is called the Embody Podcast. It’s all of those aspects that you mentioned, ancestry, our beliefs that have been, if one believes it, you know, through many lives, or what we came in with, what we started to think about, through our whole experience, especially from childhood, all the judgments, all of that living in the body. And how do we come to presence now, and align with presence now, but give a rooted healing to those parts that are coming up?

Candice Wu 17:47

And with patriarchy, with the collective ideas and belief, to talk about them as one thing. But I have found that it doesn’t quite shift what’s actually happening when we do relate at unconscious levels and conscious until it gets to the level of the body and the heart, in this human body, in this form. And I think it’s just such a beautiful gift to be able to have this body to be in, to let it all transform and experience what’s really here now.

Richard Moss 18:28

Yes, you know, and what’s so fascinating, which is just coming to me a number of different things as I listened to you just came into consciousness. One is that as we get older, and I’m 72, and I just was on holiday with my wife and visited one of my dearest friends, he’s been a mentor for me, he and his wife although she passed five and a half years ago, for relationship in particularly the profound richness of what they explored, has been such an influence on me. And he’s 88 or just about 88. And his name is Jack Zimmerman.

Richard Moss 19:16

And people can find him, his book, Flesh, and Spirit. And then he wrote a memoir about the last use of the exploration with his wife. Now he’s currently writing a book about the relationship, these five and a half years since she passed, and how vital and alive and profound their third consciousness has grown, even after the transition.

Richard Moss 19:40

And so that came into my mind that the body, is it ages, and I already do experience this, it becomes more and more sensitive. And it becomes wiser and wiser to really what is essential. We know that and we feel it, the skin gets, literally, the skin gets thinner, the defenses, the armor goes down. And since we can’t use the body, as so many people do, so many people use the body.

Richard Moss 20:14

In a way, I would say, sometimes it’s escape, but it’s also the portal. It’s just a portal into flow. It’s a portal into, you know, through surfing and swimming, and running and rock climbing, which was a big one for me, and mountaineering, also a big one, when I was younger, the body sports out in nature, really getting someplace through your own effort, and learning to go deeper and deeper into determination and effort and the adventure of living like that in your body. And I never got very good at surfing, just not enough time to do it. But rock climbing I did learn profoundly, more deeply into the body.

Richard Moss 20:58

I ran for many years. And just to stay fit in between my travels and so forth. And some of that was escape, some of that. And I think for many people that kind of routine of exercises, not only at one level, healthy, good at another level, it’s what they use to tone their emotional body.

Richard Moss 21:18

And as such, if you were suddenly to become ill, or disabled, or like in my case where a disc went bad. And I had years of pain and then eventually had to have a hip replaced and eventually had to have some back surgery. And in those periods of time, if you were dependent on being in nature, the way you were being active in the way you knew how to be, you could really have a tremendous opportunity to accelerate in consciousness because you would have to deal with the emotions that were being sedated, consciously or unconsciously through the physical activity, through the —

Richard Moss 21:57

Because we are a culture now and I live in Boulder, Colorado, which is going to be one of the world’s Apex, is for Superathletes, is that level of fitness in this town. I go to the gym. Oh my goodness, compared to what I saw on the beach in Hawaii recently. Though, that was the one thing I saw on the beach in Hawaii, you know, and people who really have neglected their bodies. And at the same time going by in a zillion miles an hour, people swimming, and preparing for the, you know, the triathlete contests like the Ironman, which takes place in Hawaii and maybe the most famous will be the Ironman things.

Richard Moss 22:34

My wife, in fact, did a half Ironman when she was 50, which is nine years ago, and that’s pretty remarkable.

Candice Wu 22:43

Wow.

Richard Moss 22:44

So these are the two things that came up for me, which is embodiment is going toward love. But we always have to visit fear, there’s always fear there in everyone. And until we make the determination, we’re not going to sedate fear, with exercise or alcohol or any other way. I don’t mean there’s a time for escape, there’s a time for relaxing with a drink, there’s a time for everything like that. But there are times when you just have to learn to go to the place of fear, which always comes up in relationship, always.

Richard Moss 23:21

And plant a tree there and sit down for as long as it takes till the tree grows, and you begin to have a place of shelter in the midst of these very deep fears. Because we don’t leave behind patriarchy without a profound change of identity. We don’t leave behind the wounds of childhood. And I sure you could speak about this just as well as I could.

Richard Moss 23:50

Whether it’s, you know, because some of us had a wonderful childhood. But still there’s always an inherited trauma and ancestral trauma, of lack of real marrying and inability of our parents who are already formed in their own personality, psychological structure, and that coming into the ego is not coming into the me that we become as we go from birth or conception to, I guess, the ego solidly in place by 6, 7, 8 years old for most people.

Richard Moss 24:25

And then it’s going to continue to differentiate and most of us get lost in our heads. And we forget the body, we forget to feel, we forget to listen with our hearts in our bodies, moment by moment. And then we don’t have any foundation in anything that we really know. It’s, we don’t have a foundation of what’s really true. And that’s part of the challenge with what’s going on politically now.

Richard Moss 24:56

Trump, President Trump, he’s an exaggeration in such a high office of the challenge to embodied wisdom and the challenge even to reason. So those are the things that get stimulated in me, tell me something, you know for you, what is embodiment?

Candice Wu 25:24

It means to experience what is here in this present moment, and what comes from inside and out. And that, as you said, We must visit fear, it’s to experience all the different emotions that are coming up, all of the thoughts and sensations and images that come up and to see and sort out what’s an incomplete movement or experience from the past.

Richard Moss 26:06

Oh, well put, well put “in-complete”, that’s well put.

Candice Wu 26:11

Right. And to allow it to be here now, because it’s wanting completion. And so that fear of trauma on the past or what’s still stuck in so many places of patriarchy, as it lives in us, as it lives in society, and in each individual, it’s all that opportunity to look at and feel through what’s been incomplete.

Candice Wu 26:37

And I find that when it completes, we, that is a process of loving, to allow the completion to be with it, to sit with it. And then we also arrive back at love. Because what was before the trauma or the hurt or the wound, was a desire for love or connection or presence, that got disrupted by something else. But gives us the opportunity to love both what was underneath and what came to be. And so, yeah, I find embodiment is being with all of that. And allowing that sorting process of what is not me, what is ego? What is something that just was created meaning from an experience that just didn’t get completed?

Richard Moss 27:30

Okay, yeah.

Candice Wu 27:31

Yeah. And what is the presence of my being without that? What’s underneath that? What is the mark? The full experience of my being, which I believe is love.

Richard Moss 27:48

Yes.

Richard Moss 27:53

Some indigenous native people, when they hear something spoken, truth spoke, hard truth spoken, they go, “Oh, I used to lead sweat lodges, many sweat lodges years ago. And so I never trained with Native Americans. I sweated with one, high medicine man many times.

Richard Moss 28:15

So I didn’t ever try to pretend that I was Native American. My sweat lodges were rituals of grounding in the body, grounding in the heart. And we say things like, “Aho” and when I’m in a circle with people as it so often in small circles or large circles, I don’t necessarily ask people to say, “Aho”, but in my mind, sometimes I’m going, “Aho”, and just that we acknowledge each other, that we really hear something that spoke to us, and just to let someone know when you hear that.

Richard Moss 28:51

And two things came up when you’re speaking in particular, the word complete. And I agree with you, I think when we really dive into certain kinds of experiences, that we’ve lived but didn’t let come to completion or we left, let’s say, a residue of anger, or dissatisfaction or unhappiness, there is a moment, there is a work where you go back in and look and begin to look through different eyes, look through a different depth of consciousness, look through your heart, put your ears in your heart, your eyes in your heart, your memory, to be relived at the level of the heart.

Richard Moss 29:34

Again, the heart is a metaphor certainly not what a cardiologist is thinking about. And thoracic surgeon, cardio surgeon, the heart’s not a metaphor for them. Though, I think the great physicians and the great doctors and physician needs energy, life force energy. So, you know, the word doctor is I don’t know, that its origins take us really into what physic means which to be a physician, the great physicians are also poetic, they’re also mystic, they also have a heart.

Richard Moss 30:11

So, complete is relative, some things do get complete, but the journey to know ourselves is a beginningless and endless journey. And, you know, each stage of completion is just the portal to the next opportunity, the next invitation, I should say, to the wildness of the soul, to something, I don’t mean acting out wild, you know, like the wild child image, I mean, like the wildness of the soul, that wants to dance with love and is willing to risk, hurt, and fear, and mistakes and abandonment.

Richard Moss 30:48

And as one part gets completed, it gets complete because of a process of forgiveness, which means that you, you see through new eyes, and therefore the past becomes renewed, it becomes forgiven. And it’s endless. Forgiveness is truly endless.

Richard Moss 31:06

And not one thing at all, but a grace of virtue. And it’s you know, you never go to school and learn about forgiveness, because it’s not a curriculum, everyone can learn it, but it has to be transmitted. The things you can learn, that can be trained, and can be given to you at school are all for the left brain. They’re not for the heart, the things of a heart, forgiveness, and trust, and humility and compassion, and love. They have to be transmitted by people as we live deeper and deeper in each stage of life brings different capacities, different opportunities. So it’s an ongoing thing. It’s –

Candice Wu 31:47

Yeah, I appreciate that.

Richard Moss 31:50

It’s wonderful.

Candice Wu 31:52

I love the beginning with aspect to an endless, and it gives me the feeling. You know, we’ve been so trained to the left brain, we’ve been so trained to the mind, and conditioned to see our lives to that pathway. And that linear path of here’s where we begin. And this is where we want to end up. And this just opens it up completely, the beginningless and endless.

Candice Wu 32:20

It touches on the feeling that I had when I was an art teacher, that this is our unfolding artwork of our lives. That is who we are, and we’re with the beginning or end to be, there isn’t one. And this transmission you’re speaking of also flows in line with that feeling of it can go in any direction. And it’s in any moment. And as you’re speaking to this, Richard, I’m wondering, what’s the opening that you’re having now in your life? What’s the opportunity at this moment or the struggle or the piece of deepening that is emerging for you?

Richard Moss 33:05

Oh, wow. Well, very practical, we’ve been very concrete things. I do, we all do, at some level don’t realize how much we imagine a future and then borrow a sense of security from that future.

Richard Moss 33:23

And right now in my life, something’s happened. It’s taken what I thought was a padding of financial security, for example, specifically, and it’s gone. And with that, anything that I imagined that would mean, and what’s so amazing is that I understand that the part of me that would not have been ready for that without all these years of learning to come to this moment, this beginning, and not borrow identity and security from the future.

Richard Moss 34:01

So it’s very challenging, because it’s caused us to have to make very important decisions about where to live, sell a house, and the house we’re in was the family home for my wife for the past 11 years, she raised her three children, and she took over the parenting time of her ex-husband and raised his three children. She by herself, single-handedly, for every two weeks of the month had six children and the rest of the time her three children. And this is their family home. And so now we’re, we’ve had this house on the market recently and for Kathy, it’s wave after wave of letting go and surrendering and giving away attachment to the memories, not the reverence in the deliciousness of the memories. And for me, it’s watching her struggle with that, for me, it’s recognizing that what I thought was going to be a buffer for security that would take me into old age, we’re 13 years apart, an agent would give her something to rest in.

Richard Moss 35:08

The debt disappeared literally from one day to the next, the whole imagined future went away. And, it’s okay. It actually gives us a second acceleration in our loving of Love with each other, of our landing and third consciousness with each other. The third consciousness of our relationship, which is consecrated to love Love, which is that third is listening to us, it’s teaching me more about her. It’s teaching her about me. And as we listen to that intelligence of love, which is not a left-brain form of a rational, linear conceptual intelligence at all. But deeper and deeper moments of knowing and self-surrender.

Richard Moss 35:56

You know, we reach times where we’re looking at the practicalities and then forget the deeper vision and mission in our lives, the adjustment to things like that, the moving we’ve already done so much to prepare for a move.

Richard Moss 36:13

And the decisions we’re having to make now that are a radical change from what we thought would — we’d have to live just even a few months ago. And it was from one day to the next it was just a bad investment that someone did. And, but it was, you know, that’s where our vulnerability is.

Richard Moss 36:35

Now, fortunately, she’s healthy, I’m healthy, but you never know. You know, whatever imagined future any of us are unconsciously borrowing security from or a sense of continuity of identity in many ways, death can take it, loss can take it, illness can take it, financial ruin can take it. And so we do have to learn, to really rest and to source in ourselves, to feel the ground of our being, which is not just personal, but it is more, it’s transpersonal and personal simultaneously.

Richard Moss 37:16

And the living in the world and being not of the world as the Sufi says, “to live in the world, but not be of it”, is not a dichotomy or a splitting, or it’s not the old break between spirit and flesh, between personal and secular and religious. There actually an indivisible — the beginning of ourselves, which is always this present moment in our bodies aware, those two fundamental things that are divided so profoundly in human consciousness almost the way the brain is divided between the presence right-brain and the presenting through words and concepts left-brain.

Richard Moss 38:04

And the heart, as a metaphor for knowing, to our whole being in the body, very much inseparable from — the language then, if we use modern metaphors, the right brain, the heart, the body, that’s 95% of our intelligence. What we can Twitter and write on Facebook and write in books, other than poetic books, or you know, deep philosophical prose, we can do in music, which is so much the language of heart and mind, or can be profound.

Richard Moss 38:43

We are in a time of bridging, of having to bridge. We must bridge between these seemingly irreconcilable dichotomies and so that is the edge of where I am now. To know death is going to come, we all know that intellectually. But to die into love, in this moment, to just give away an identity from one moment to next. And a sense of hope, and a fantasy of who you are and how you live, that was there for me and for her and it’s just gone. Then it’s, you know, no one’s particular business how it happened, it’s just simply gone. And that, I don’t want to say it’s wonderful, but I would not be deepening as rapidly into heart and loving Love without that sudden surprise.

Richard Moss 39:47

But of course, living that it also makes me see how much climate change, the warming of our climate, the poisoning of our soil and air and waters that with all the diseases that are now, you know, escalating tremendously. Cancers, more and more of it and more and more rare forms of it.

Richard Moss 40:12

Even though our ability to treat cancer in some ways is improving. We’re not winning the war on cancer because we — to do that we have to clean up our environment, and our environments just getting more polluted with global warming. We are in a way, a sense of living in an imaginary future, and that global warming and climate change and pollution is going to take away from, not you and me, but all of us as it is already taken life away from, literally more creatures that become extinct in the last hundred years than it ever, before happened in history.

Richard Moss 40:49

I think this is called the sixth great extinction, only six previous times in those except for the big asteroid 66 million years ago, those other extinctions took tens of millions of years. Now it’s happening in hundreds of years and decades.

Richard Moss 41:08

So, we are robbing the future without realizing it, to protect the economic identities, not just of the wealthy. Everyone lives in some form of many layers of identity. And none of which is real, none of which is going to sustain us as we age or when these profound surprises come. Like, know, everybody that we think we understand what — this is happening every day.

Richard Moss 41:43

Think about the refugees, think about suddenly from having to — think about the people with the courage to get out of Honduras, and places that were, there are such criminality and violence, that this fear for their lives, they fear for their families, their children, and then they come to this country with hope, but they can’t get in, you know, because — and it’s not just our government or its particular policies, or one political party, or this president that makes it difficult. It’s all of us. Because we’re not creating a global identity. We’re not creating a society that can integrate people who — it’s not easy for them to be integrated, it’s not easy for us to integrate them. And yet, if you love Love, what else is there to do?

Richard Moss 42:30

And when someone says something stupid, like one of our, I think it was our secretary of state that said, “Well, with this global warming and people will move.”

Richard Moss 42:39

It’s ridiculous. Sure, if you could afford to move, you’ll move. But then people that can afford to move or move to the places that everyone needs to be. And those places will get so expensive that only the wealthy could be there, too. I mean, it’s so stupid. And you think of something like Chernobyl. Think about how, what really happened in Chernobyl.

Richard Moss 43:00

It was not just that a nuclear reactor broke down. It was that people stood on the bridge watching it happen. And every one of them died, the children, the mothers and fathers thinking the light was beautiful, the light show is beautiful, and that the snow of radioactive ash was like benign snow. And the rest of them that were further away, but still within a dangerous zone. They had a knock on their door, military people and they had to pack a bag in five minutes and walk out of their lives and they never went back. The future was taken.

Richard Moss 43:36

So you were talking much earlier about what happens when we start to clear the past. But when we clear the past, when we start to heal the past and forgive the past, we have to understand that by lending in our hearts, we’re creating a new future. And that future needs to be translated into behavior. And it needs to be translated into not being dependency, not having dependency on what we imagined will be the future. But creating a present moment that truly is obedient to nature.

Richard Moss 44:09

We are the first creatures that we know of, on this planet, and perhaps in the universe, with the capacity to consciously love Love. But our science is not about dominating nature, which of course, it has been about, not true science, but Applied Science, technologies at any level forever, have always been about control and dominance.

Richard Moss 44:34

We are now, though, capable with our science of understanding the enormous and measurable intricacy of nature and starting to consciously be obedient to nature. And if we don’t do that, nature will just slap us as if we were flea and it wouldn’t make it — doesn’t care.

Richard Moss 44:54

You know, this planet earth will continue in some form for billions of years, with life on it. And we’re at an incredible turning point. Everything we’ve done to make ourselves secure.

Richard Moss 45:09

I know I’m talking a long thing now. But this is what you know, I’ve known this before, but suddenly my future was taken away at a financial level. And then just like that, from one day to the next, and not my future to earn money, though I’m 72. And you know, maybe I have another 10 or 15 years of being able to share deeply with people and there’ll be some remuneration for that. But what I saved, received, what I gradually saved over, over a lifetime is gone. And that’s amazing. And it’s not a tragedy, not the least, it’s just the most amazing acceleration. Does that mean I have a bit apprehension? Very little, I’ve had very little fear. What tires me out is all the things that change requires then doing day to day, moment by moment. Very, that can get really tiring. It’s moving and organizing for moves and things like that are stressful. So there you go.

Candice Wu 46:22

Wow, I really appreciate you sharing this. And it’s really refreshing. When you said it’s amazing. Even though everything you’ve been saying is been about this deepening and your journey deepening in love, and this opportunity of what you thought would be there, the security you thought would be there. And how you’re receiving that as this grand experience. Not grand but very deep experience and opportunity to surrender in.

Richard Moss 46:56

Oh, yeah, on one level, really it sucks to be.

Candice Wu 47:00

Yeah.

Richard Moss 47:01

Use it, kind of colloquialism. But on another level, that doesn’t what which it sucks is really trivial. And the level in which the door is opening to love Love is even more so. But there is no security.

Richard Moss 47:20

It’s much you know, the teaching, the Buddhist teaching of Impermanence is so easy to roll off the tongue. But it is only impermanence. And whatever transitory security we have, by borrowing from a savings account, or the notion that I’m healthy, or I eat well, or, you know, I do all the right things or, you know. Yes. The only sure security is when you land deep in yourself. And you can land there with another and live that incredible vulnerability with others.

Richard Moss 48:04

The security is really the shared heart. The shared heart of humankind, the shared earthling nature of all of us. Look at our insanity, the resources under a foot belong to whoever lives above it, how insane? You know, it’s the level of insanity that we just take for granted.

Richard Moss 48:30

These massive cities that have grown up in, Qatar and Dubai, and so I cut, all based on energy dug up from the ground in a time in society and culture where we’re burning fossil fuels is what we need to make ourselves safe, comfortable, and so forth. And we’re really still just in a profound spiritual poverty, not that we’re less evolved than we used to be. I mean, in many ways we’re growing, but our population and our Applied Technology has so accelerated, the mistakes we were always making, there was always a price for security. And there always will be. The only true security is deep in your heart. And in your shared heart.

Candice Wu 49:28

That’s really touching me. There’s always a price for full security. And would that be the only security is deep in the heart and in the shared heart? Would that be how you describe intimacy?

Richard Moss 49:48

What a good question.

Richard Moss 49:55

A wonderful question. It’s a question that a woman would ask on a podcast called Embody.

Richard Moss 50:04

Well, yes. To love Love with another is profoundly intimate.

Richard Moss 50:11

In my particular character, it’s that level of intimacy is also profoundly sensual. If we take the word erotic and the word Eros, which is the larger word, the Greek word for love, it’s Erosic. It’s not you know, it’s not just erotic, but it is all that.

Richard Moss 50:33

It is making, literally, hear the words, “making love.” It’s like making bread, growing the grains, growing the plant, harvesting the grains, grinding the grains, making the dough, baking the dough, making bread. It’s making love.

Richard Moss 51:02

When your user in your heart, with your beloved with your eyes, in your heart, or in your heart with your beloved, she’s not just a woman. She’s all woman, she’s a mystery that has no beginning and end. Likewise, the man in the eyes of the woman.

Richard Moss 51:20

And though I can’t get inside Kathy’s eyes or any woman’s eyes, and whatever the truth of multiple lives, I don’t remember being a woman. I just for me, intimacy is all of that. It’s paying the bills. It’s raising the family. It’s understanding that the other is always truly other. And that deep inside of each of us is that which brings us together in the most profound way. And finding that togetherness with our bodies is the greatest joy. Oh my goodness! What a way to thank God for being born into human form with this consciousness.

Candice Wu 52:16

I just took a couple of deep breaths. Just, I agree with everything you said. And just in my whole body and my whole being. And it’s beautiful. Thank you for describing it through the way you feel it.

Richard Moss 52:30

Exactly. And the joy of it, to just absolute wonderment. I couldn’t have dreamed this life. I couldn’t have dreamed Kathy. I’ve told her that. I couldn’t have dreamed you. And whatever dream I had, I keep waking up into a more profound fullness, emptiness, mystery, richness that really beggar’s words, except baby and poetry.

Candice Wu 53:09

Thank you. Wow, there are so many things coming up in me. I just, I feel so much love at the moment. And how you’re describing your wonderment for life. And it’s really beautiful. I’m really grateful. I’m like, tears are almost here.

Richard Moss 53:30

It’s a direct proportion to the dark.

Candice Wu 53:36

Yeah. And just the way you’ve been talking about paying the bills. There’s such a sweetness to it. And I also feel the embracing of the dark of sometimes it’s not fun at all, or it sucks, or it’s hard.

Candice Wu 53:53

And it’s reminding me of being with horses lately. I love being with horses, and they’re just calling me and this indivisible world of spirit and heart and body is something that really shows itself to me through the horses. And I get that chance to be with the poop. The poop and the breathing there, you know, when they’re just next to me and breathing or when they walk away from me or when I desire something and notice it in me, you know, the pressure I’m putting on the situation. There’s just so much there that is right in front of me. And it helps me bring that into the rest of life.

Richard Moss 54:45

Yeah. And I close my eyes, try to imagine it.

Richard Moss 54:49

I’ve had only minimal contact with horses, but enough to know, intuitive intuitively, that the relationship you can have with the horse is profound, but it’s not cerebral. It’s not. It’s whatever is deeply grounded in us, in the moment.

Richard Moss 55:13

I, you know, and in our bodies at a felt level they can mirror and yes, of course, they require being cared for, now in nature, they required being cared for. But nature as it is, you know, our nature has enclosed nature and fence to nature. And it does it all the time, not just in the metaphor of the planes, and the fences and so forth.

Richard Moss 55:45

But yeah, I can see that the horse can teach us to rest in our bodies in the now. And in so doing, come into communion with the horse. And then our bodies become extended to the horse. And certainly to be. I mean, I’ve ridden horses, but never with the knowledge that I really knew what I was doing. It was always the utility to get into a remote place, to bring the packs in, for my soul in space, wilderness trips that I used to do, year after year in just different wildernesses, just taking people there to do consciousness work completely alone, you know, relatively unreachable. And those were my small experiences with horses. But I stood next to them. I’ve watched when a horse just notices you, when you’re looking, and when it really pays attention to you and when it walks over or doesn’t.

Richard Moss 57:01

So I have that intuition of what you’re speaking up.

Candice Wu 57:07

And some other things you were saying, Richard, I was thinking about what’s going on in Hongkong right now. With the extradition bill that China, well, that Hongkong, that the leader of Hong Kong wants to put in place, which and what I’m seeing with all the protests and the amount of love that I see in that, where so many Hongkongers may not be affected by this bill, or what happened five years ago, with the previous protest, but they’re being called to come out and speak up and say no, and —

Richard Moss 57:51

Say no to another offense.

Candice Wu 57:54

Yes, say no to another offense. Another idea that could create hurt –

Richard Moss 58:03

And repression –

Candice Wu 58:04

or someone that –

Richard Moss 58:05

Repression —

Candice Wu 58:05

Yeah.

Richard Moss 58:06

-of the souls urge to liberation.

Candice Wu 58:13

Yes. And you ask, what else is there to do about love Love.

Candice Wu 58:18

And I have, for myself, I’ve arrived at this place of, well, when I see something happening, when I feel something happening, allow myself to feel it and see what’s there for me, see what I’m compelled to do about it. But to really feel the power of my own awareness in myself as something that is doing something, not that that’s the point, but deepening in myself, has that impact.

Candice Wu 58:57

And there’s also the other part of me that’s like, ’Well, why do you do with that?”

Candice Wu 59:01

And there are a few ideas I have. But, I wonder if you have any thoughts about all these things that are happening in the world, in our country, and in the world. And you’ve spoken about the global community that we are and what do you do when you see something that really pains you in the world?

Richard Moss 59:28

Well, you feel it, you know, I feel it. I feel the sadness, the tears of pain, because I can make an argument through — an argument that is respectful of the soul, for why a law would be passed, in terms of creating order and boundary, which might then allow for a general movement of large populations toward something like less poverty, or, you know, certainly China has elevated so many people out of poverty, but the price we pay is always repression. And so the people, the action you have to take is to be unrepressed in your loving, but not, I don’t — what I mean by that is not — Oh. –

Richard Moss 1:00:39

The essence of non-violence in protest is love. It’s not — non-violence is a strategy it took. And it’s a result of an understanding, to become nonviolent inside of ourselves is the real work. So you have to do that. You have to learn to be nonviolent inside of yourself. And that’s so easy to say, but just watch your thoughts, and how violent they can be toward you. How violent they can be toward others, into a mild violence, you know, it doesn’t have to be insanely violent. But to just watch, and you get to know that part of you, that’s ugly. And, then you have to love that part of you that’s ugly. Because deep down, it’s trying to protect you deep down. It was a way of separating you from others. Because separating differentiation is endless. It can’t stop. And yet the one that we emerged from and the one we’re always in, is also endless and does not stop.

Richard Moss 1:01:39

So what do you do, is you listen to your heart, and then you act in the ways you can act right now.

Richard Moss 1:01:48

Does that mean that you, because you were born in Hongkong would fly to Hongkong and join the group? It could mean that. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if you decided to join that group just from an impulse that you felt in your heart, and then you noticed, “wow, it’s amazing!” There was a special sale, and I got this really low price ticket. And you know, and I went over there, and I was with people and all that happened was my heart open more and there was no enemy.

Richard Moss 1:02:19

And then, “wow!”

Richard Moss 1:02:22

That’s irresistible.

Richard Moss 1:02:25

It’s irresistible. It’s like a solvent. It’s like water, and the sugar cubes of even though they look like bricks that will you know, can’t dissolve, but the sugar cubes of identity, of political belief systems, of ideologies, of cultures themselves, because a culture beliberated a group of people, but it makes distrust and distance from a different group of people, and society overall, which is an attempt to assimilate many cultures. Can only do that by having deep principles that are very hard for anybody to really know.

Richard Moss 1:03:08

I mean to dream of democracy is just that. It is a dream. And it’s only as good as the consciousness of the people who live it. And right now, and it’s always been the case, always from the very beginning of this democracy or any experiment in democracy, we elect people according to our consciousness, and they run to seduce our consciousness at the level they believe we can be seduced with maybe fear or distrust. And the ones that are too ideal have told the ideal so high, are important, but they can’t truly, they can’t lead us politically.

Richard Moss 1:03:50

And the ones that are cynical in some ways, as many of the political leaders we have now, and so fear-based in the manipulation, they are successful because we want to be manipulated by fear, yet we haven’t planted a tree and fear. We haven’t sat down inside our fear, we haven’t sat down inside our own ugliness, and wait and silenced ourselves enough to allow the seed of love to grow in the vast fields of fear, and grow a new tree and then gradually nourish us. And so we transmute that fear. But that takes everything we’re talking about. And it takes a practice, a journey, it takes meditation, it takes every practice, it gets your energy flowing, it takes such tremendous honesty and transparency and vulnerability, and hard work. Like any composer, like anyone that becomes a neurosurgeon, like anyone that writes a book that took every ounce of their gifts and genius determination. It takes that kind of work on the part of every single human being to the best of their ability, every day.

Richard Moss 1:05:10

And it starts with listening to our conversations and the things we listen to that inspire us. And the action you take, then, is the one that’s right in front of you. And you take that, embodied, and in your heart, without hope, because it will always be hope for the wrong thing.

Richard Moss 1:05:27

The only hope is in your own commitment to love Love in yourself and with others. And, that’s the only hope. And to love Love, that’s transactional, that’s I love you if you love me even though we deny it often, you know, but in fact, is if you make me feel good, and then I’ll make you feel good. If you start to threaten now I feel well then, it’s your fault. I won’t look at why I feel threatened. I won’t go into my fears.

Richard Moss 1:05:57

And you can see the picture I’m painting, the picture that I think all awakened people have been painting forever, is that, you know, why it’s so, you know, it’s easier to pass a businessman through the eye of a needle or a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to enter the kingdom of heaven, by whatever name you want to call it.

Richard Moss 1:06:23

And all deep spiritual movements are radical, in the most positive sense of the words, they go to the root of who we really are. And, I can’t tell anyone what to do. I know what I’m doing right now in the phase of my life. I know what I, the minimal that I can do in terms of things like recycling or how I purchase and what I give my money to and things like that. That matter a little but collectively can matter a great deal.

Richard Moss 1:06:58

And unfortunately, the political movement doesn’t, no political movement gives us much choice. And right now maybe, in terms of air pollution and cutting back carbon production, a government such as China’s given the population of China, maybe actually more effective than a government like ours in the United States, because we are still per capita the number one or number two polluter and we are way, you know, China’s behind us, per capita.

Richard Moss 1:07:27

But we are no longer giving an example to the world at least at the level of the kind of the loudest noise that the media tends to attune to.

Richard Moss 1:07:42

There are millions of people working along the lines of what you and I are talking about, and in very practical and grounded ways, in so many ways. And there were millions of people who want to learn and are learning in the fields of science to revere this planet. And, that’s going on also.

Richard Moss 1:08:04

So the most important thing is if it hurts, feel the pain, don’t try to numb it. And if it’s saddening, feel the sadness, don’t try to numb it. Don’t make yourself special, don’t become self-involved, because you’re angry, or you’re sad, or you’re disillusioned. That’s all self-indulgence.

Candice Wu 1:08:31

Thank you.

Richard Moss 1:08:33

Well, I don’t know how long our listener would want to sit and listen. And I’m aware of the time, and it’s not because I have, you know, limited time now. It’s just simply in respect of a listener, maybe we should try to wind up.

Candice Wu 1:08:52

I think so. I think this is a perfect place.

Candice Wu 1:08:57

Richard, it’s been such an honor to have you here and to hear you speak and bring your transmission of who you are and what you’re interested in. And that’s really touched me and I feel a shift in me. Even with just this hour of conversation with you and such a gift.

Richard Moss 1:09:20

Thank you. I mean, truly, thank you.

Candice Wu 1:09:23

Truly.

Richard Moss 1:09:25

It’s what we’re here for.

Candice Wu 1:09:27

Yeah.

Richard Moss 1:09:28

My wife says, “Is there a better game in town? Is there anything you’d rather?

Candice Wu 1:09:35

Not for me.

Richard Moss 1:09:36

And not for me?”

Candice Wu 1:09:39

Thank you so much. Is there anything else you’d like to say or leave things with here?

Richard Moss 1:09:45

Well, just in terms of, perhaps you can say but just in terms of, you know, I’m 72 as many people as I can reach in my work, which is very experiential, and really teaches people that is it, there’s a transmission and a teaching that is about what we’ve been talking about and how to live it.

Richard Moss 1:10:06

And so I have my YouTube channel, you know, these just short videos I put up every month, and I have a Facebook, beginning to post on Instagram, but also I have my retreats, which people can find at my website which is, www.richardmoss.com.

Richard Moss 1:10:29

And I work with people individually through Zoom or Skype, or they come to visit me and I work with them with my wife. And we work with couples, a tremendous opportunity for couples because I think when two people live this, it’s a much faster path than when one person lives it.

Richard Moss 1:10:50

And there’s always third consciousness, whether you live in a monastery, there’s still God in whatever form you imagine. God becomes your third and there’s always community of some kind. But when two people, really, side by side want to live this, it’s profound.

Richard Moss 1:11:11

So you know, I know just a tiny bit about you from what we said before we recorded so I just say, I hope you get to share this in your life with someone, anyone.

Candice Wu 1:11:25

Thank you, I believe I do, with a couple of people actually. And this couples experience sounds right up our alley. All of it does. And also Richard, you have, is it eight books now?

Richard Moss 1:11:44

Seven, but they’ll be an eighth sooner or later. I think I’ve had a little more time with, I know there will be a book about third consciousness in relationship, probably a short book. And something about really, what it means to stop borrowing from the past or the future. Stop. No. Outgrow that and land here because that’s where we have a truly new future. So that’ll come —

Candice Wu 1:12:22

The word borrow.

Candice Wu 1:12:24

Yeah, that’s great. I can’t wait to read both of those.

Richard Moss 1:12:30

I don’t know that.

Candice Wu 1:12:30

It’s like so poignant.

Richard Moss 1:12:32

Yeah, I don’t know, I wrote a book that I think is good a book about the weaving of psychology and spirituality together called them on our being that was my next to the last book. And then I realized, it could make the methodology of that book a little simpler, and speak about a few things in briefly.

Richard Moss 1:12:53

In my last book, Inside-Out Healing, and those books are both in print and not hard to find on Amazon. Our online through — basically online. The other books, there’s, you know, people find them, The Black Butterfly, The I That Is We, meaning the capital “I” that is we, which was my very first book, which was published, I guess, in 81, or 82, something like that. And, when I was a little younger than you are now. So it’s been a long journey. And –

Candice Wu 1:13:33

Wow!

Richard Moss 1:13:33

Thanks for mentioning the books.

Candice Wu 1:13:35

Absolutely.

Richard Moss 1:13:36

But there’s also, there’s this, for in terms of a simple methodology for mindfulness, for really deepening and meditation and presence, there’s free e-courses on my website.

Richard Moss 1:13:48

And in fact, I’m talking to someone from the Netherlands soon, whose husband, for her birthday present, give her a session with me and she’d been practicing these, the free e-course, it’s based from the Mandala of what I call, the Mandala of Being. It’s based on that methodology of recognizing thoughts coming back to the present moment.

Candice Wu 1:14:16

So beautiful, the connections that you’re having with it.

Richard Moss 1:14:22

Yeah, it is so beautiful.

Candice Wu 1:14:24

Thank you.

Richard Moss 1:14:25

It is so beautiful.

Candice Wu 1:14:26

Yeah, it really is.

Richard Moss 1:14:29

But you know, I’m gradually, you know, the complainer inside of me is got a comfortable position nearby, but doesn’t take the microphone of my heart and soul, a voice for feeling very much and all these different parts have come to understand. They’re all welcome inside of me, every one of them. And, they all serve me, and they’ll serve all of us. It just as you say, we just outgrow and we come to completion in terms of not the end of those voices, but the end of their power in us.

Candice Wu 1:15:12

A harmony within all the parts within.

Richard Moss 1:15:14

Yes.

Candice Wu 1:15:15

And a love that holds them all.

Richard Moss 1:15:16

Yes. And everything I’m saying comes from thousands of hours of wanting to go deeper, gradually, slowly, intermittently in the early years, and then deeper. And because I’ve been a teacher, it was a perfect way, retrospect, to create an environment for learning for me, as well as for the others.

Candice Wu 1:15:46

We’re alike in that, in me being a teacher as well and also supporting people in their healing or in their journey the same way. I read something where you said that it’s about finding the teacher within and the chance that I got to get as well, that sounds like you’ve gone very deep and it’s bringing this joyful conversation here.

Candice Wu 1:16:16

Thank you so much, Richard. And I wishing you the best.

Candice Wu 1:16:19

You’re very welcome, Candice. Thank you.

Candice Wu 1:16:22

Thank you, blessings to you on your journey of loving and may that continue in all its forms.

Richard Moss 1:16:30

I received that. Thank you. And I know that what you’re saying is also back to you.

Candice Wu 1:16:41

Thank you.

Candice Wu 1:16:46

This conversation was expansive for me. And I deeply appreciate Richard the way that you speak so vulnerably and eloquently. And it feels that you are living in your experience of what you say and what you offer.

Candice Wu 1:17:04

If you’re listening and you enjoyed this, be sure to check out in the next couple of days, the meditation that Richard is offering. I was delighted with the softness that he offers and brings forward in the meditation and the ways that he described the quality of our awareness and giving space to notice parts of ourselves and what we might name those parts of ourselves.

Candice Wu 1:17:29

It’s a lovely healing experience and meditation. So check that out at CandiceWu.com/richardmoss or subscribe to the podcast and it will drop into you in a couple of days.

Candice Wu 1:17:43

It hasn’t left me yet that I want to visit him and his wife and just spend time with them, and see how they live, experience what comes up. Sounds fascinating and like a lovely experience. So, if that compels you as well, feel free to check his work out at richardmoss.com.

Candice Wu 1:18:02

Everything’s linked in the show notes as usual. So you can find that on my website. And also be sure to check out other healing experientials, meditations, topics on the podcast around self-love, awareness, healing, and embodiment all CandiceWu.com/podcast.

Candice Wu 1:18:23

Also, if you feel inspired to stay updated with upcoming retreats, events, stuff about Horse Constellations and meditation, also the updates on my travels and other podcasts, you can sign up for my monthly newsletter at CandiceWu.com/embody.

Candice Wu 1:18:42

It has been lovely to have you here today. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you very much, Richard, for all of your insight and the years of connecting in with loving for yourself and those around you. And with that, I’ll leave you with a quote by Richard, “That love brings us as close to source as we can be.”

Candice Wu 1:19:04

See you next time on the Embody Podcast.

Introduction

Candice Wu 0:00

Today’s meditation is brought to you by Richard Moss, who is a teacher of consciousness and love.

In this meditation, touch into the quality of your awareness, your presence, and your being.

Hello and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing, and self-love.

My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

If you haven’t already listened to the introductory podcast with Richard Moss, it’s a beautiful episode around intimacy, planting a tree and fear, relationships as a way to accelerate loving Love, that embodiment is a beginningless and endless journey. And the question if you love Love, what else is there to do? Find all that at CandiceWu.com/richardmoss.

It’s with great pleasure and delight that Richard has offered to share this beautiful meditation here today, and here it is.

Beginning With Richard

Richard Moss 1:35

I’m Richard Moss, and I’m very honored to be making this contribution of a guided meditation to Candice Wu’s really very excellent Embody Podcast.

Before going any further, let me just caution you that the best way to listen to this is to be seated or lying down comfortably. And it would really be a mistake, and you shouldn’t try to be doing anything athletic or driving a car, anything where your attention really doesn’t need to be, on what I’m about to share with you.

So the meditation I’m about to guide you in is really at the very heart of what it means to be present. And what the practice of meditation actually is, as you begin to deepen into it more and more.

There are just several simple and yet very profound foundations for what I’m about to share with you.

Foundations of our Aware Self: There’s Only Now

The first is, to our aware self, to our presencing self, there is only the present moment, there is only now.

And without going into all the ways in which we are taken from the now and why that’s important, but also why it’s the source of, pretty much all mind-made suffering, let us simply say that, when we’re talking about being in the now, we’re talking about actually deepening into a part of you, which we can call by many names, the aware self is what I call it, and it’s not a thing, so it’s more a process.

It can also be called the witnessing self, the witnessing process. And there are levels and depth to which we become not only the witnesses, but at one with the experience that we’re witnessing as we deepen.

So the first premise, there’s only now.

The Law of the Present Moment

The second premise is that in this moment, the way that you touch or experience anything depends on the way you are touching it, that is the way you are bringing your awareness to it.

So for example, if there’s fear or fearful sensations, if you bring awareness to it, that is a more basic kind of ego awareness, it’s about survival and feeling good. And you’re going to want a sensation, like fear or feeling like fear to go away. So you’re touching it with rejection. And so the fear, in essence, rejects you and it gets more intense, becomes more distressing. And if you bury it with activity or any way in which you can displace fear, without actually getting to know fear, all it does is it works in your subconscious mind and it comes back always, again and again.

So the second premise, how you touch is how you’re touched. This is the law, I call it the Law of the Present Moment.

So if you touch with a soft awareness, fear will become softer. If you touch a sensation of unsafety softly, it will get softer. If you touch anger softly, it will melt and become aliveness, potentially even stillness.

As you touch the present moment with your awareness, with the quality, and the purity, the clarity of your attention, so you experienced that present moment, and it’s true of every aspect, everything that happens in the present moment. And of course, it presupposes that you’ve developed enough of an aware self, that you’re choosing a relationship in the moment that is new, with every feeling, every emotion, and with your thinking process itself.

So those two basic foundational premises, it’s only now how you touch this moment with the quality of your attention is how you experience this moment emotionally, at the level of sensation in your body and in every other way in terms of what kind of thoughts it generates or whether you move into stillness and spaciousness.

Who You Are

In that sense, the third premise, and it could have been in a different sequence, is that who you really are, who any of us really are, is beginning again, over and over in this moment, who we are, who you are, begins right now and is determined by how much awareness you have, and the quality with which you bring that awareness to the immediacy of your experience.

Let’s Begin

So, I suggest you sit comfortably or lie down. Close your eyes. If you’re lying down, you need to know that you’re a person who can stay awake through a guided meditation. In fact, from my point of view, even if you fall asleep, that may be exactly what you need, if you drift off into another space between waking and sleeping.

So the first thing is, the body is always in the now, even in the depth of sleep, your breathing, body’s functioning even though there’s no remembered consciousness, there’s just a kind of absence of any kind of experience that we would usually call conscious awareness.

So the body is always in the now and breathing. It’s like a sine wave. It’s like a wave from the first inhalation at birth to the final exhalation at death, the breathing never stops. It just changes according to the demand we place on ourselves for oxygen or emotional state, where our breathing can get very shallow and very fast.

There are many centering practices are about learning to slow your breathing down. Of course, if you’re going to slow your breathing down, you also have to have awareness of your breathing.

Breath Awareness

And in this meditation, we’re not going to control breathing in any way. All that you’re going to do is bring your conscious, witnessing self and bring it, enjoy it with your breathing.

The breathing’s been with you all your life, it’s accompanied you through anguish and joy, every moment of your life, you could think of it as a friend that’s never abandoned you and never will all your life.

And then you can think of your aware self, which is the liberating power of your consciousness. And I’m actually going to try to show you how it liberates in this meditation. That aware self now, just let it rest with your breathing, like a friendship who, timeless, wonderful friends are meeting.

So we now have what we can call breath awareness. Just feel that, feel that friendship, don’t manipulate yourself to feel something special. But I often say for me, it’s just like a soft smile, resting my aware self process with the breathing in my body.

Let’s begin to bring that breath awareness to a place where there is an obvious sensation. So, assuming that you’re breathing through your nose. Bring your breath awareness into your nose, into the last half-inch or centimeter or two of your nose, experience the sensation, not just a spectator looking at it but moving into the sensation with your breath awareness.

Now, just to create a contrast, let’s do the same thing. Bring your worst self resting with your breathing into what we mean when we use the word feet, into your feet. A baby doesn’t have feet as a place of sensation without a name, that’s why babies are so close to the depths of, what in some contexts could be called the kingdom of heaven, but by whatever name, the babies in an awakened state and doesn’t know it but right now and bring your aware breathing process into the sensation in your feet.

Now come back to your nose. They are going in. Notice how it feels cooler. The tide of the air coming out, it’s warmer.

Notice

Let’s begin to notice something. Because what I’m inviting you to do, which is the foundation of many starting points for meditation. But this activity of witnessing in your body with your breath, with your awareness and breath is no real interest to the ego-self unless he thinks he can do something with it, unless he turns it into a competition and things, I’ll be really good at this. I make myself good at this. Or, unless he judges it as nothing worthwhile and people just stop, they quit.

In fact, this is a really no interest to your ego and so the mind will wander, and rather than what is often said to you, just bring your mind back to the breathing.

First, just appreciate the genius of the ego, in itself preservation, it’s going to take you to something that interests it, like worrying about something, or planning something or revisiting some situation and thinking about how you could have done it differently, on and on. But that’s what’s really interesting to that part of you and all of our ego minds.

So when you see that, just appreciate that’s the genius of the ego-mind and then choose, come back to the breath awareness and your nose purposeless from the point of view “the ego”.

Now bring the awareness to your lower legs, from your knees to lower legs, your ankles, into your feet. Just bring that witnessing consciousness there.

Let’s begin to give some qualities to this witnessing consciousness and this is the essence of the practice of how you touch.

Just imagine, sense that as you breathe presencing with your breath awareness in your lower legs, you’re doing so with gentleness, breathing innocence of gentleness and curiosity.

What’s here?

So you start to feel sensation and feel molten swirling clouds tingling. It’s like colors with different tones or music with swirling sounds. It doesn’t mean anything to the ego so it will lose interest pretty quickly. But you’re building a muscle now, the most important one of all, which is the muscle of your aware self.

Let’s come back and bring the attention, this gentle, curious, witnessing, presencing back into your nose.

How precise can you notice the sensations without forcing, with gentleness, with curiosity?

And as if you’ve never done this before, as if it’s the first time ever. That’s like a thought experiment to bring gentle receptivity to the sensation and your nose, as if for the first time.

And of course, there’s a part of you that remembers doing this even a few minutes ago as I’ve been guiding you.

Remembering and Evaluation

In fact, all the time, there’s a part of us that’s remembering what was just a little before, long before, days, months, years before. And the ego can only make something have meaning by comparing it to something else. So a basic function of the ego-mind, of the little mind is to create a contrast of what the what is of the moment, actual sensation in your nose right now with something remembered. And as soon as there’s remembering this evaluation and that evaluation says this is good or this is not good, this is positive or not so positive. This is pleasing or not pleasing. This is satisfying, this is dissatisfied, that’s inherent in the minute there’s the past and comparison.

So now bring your breathing awareness to your hips and your bottom, and your upper legs. Curious, gentle, relaxing, comparing, relaxing, keeping this some sort of meaning to any kind of memory swifts as if for the first time.

All the way from your hips and bottom, your upper legs, your lower legs to your feet, breathing into that part of the body, Those words are representations of gentle, curious as if for the first time.

So we were in the basic level of mind, not only do we have to make meaning by some form of comparing, by remembering something from the past, which means that nothing is ever really new, or now. But there’s also a movement into the future. We want to do this well, for example, now, maybe want to not have to do it or not do it at all, want to get better at it.

But understand, there’s always a quality of anticipation of the future, wanting an outcome, wanting a result. So what is this experience now, breath awareness. Your bottom and lower legs already your feet if you released wanting.

But no one can do it. Because you’re not really meant to, you have to be able to see the wanting self which is always there and turning everything you do into concern with whether it will get you to where you want to go or whether it will take you a place you don’t want to go.

Choosing a space for your wanting self always leaning toward the future, off to one side, not the other side, as if for the first time, curious, gentle, wanting to be left to one side comparing off to the other side, in your big mind.

And your worse self just getting stronger, softer. Now you have the idea. Whatever we mean when we use the word body, means breath awareness is witnessing consciousness that’s resting with your breath.

Bring it into your whole body. Sensing in your whole body. Noticing where there is brighter colors or sharper sensations, duller colors, or no sensation with the music seems off, caustic or the music is soothing in different parts of the body, different, subtlety different sensations or obviously different sensations.

If there’s a pain, that’s a strong sensation. Bring this aware self breath awareness witnessing consciousness with curiosity and gentleness without wanting. Nobody heals because they want to heal and they have set an intention for healing. But healing comes as to deeper consciousness when all forms of comparing and all forms of wanting just gone away.

And suddenly there is a new, deeper connection to yourself and sometimes that brings a new frame for understanding. We call that forgiveness. What brings us sensation, unpleasant sensation, or an opening of a door into a new perspective that you couldn’t have asked for.

In your whole body just breathing, aware, presencing, and practicing sitting, wanting to one side, your big mind comparing to another place off to the side in your big mind.

Bringing to Closure

This is a wonderful starting point and I’m going to suggest we stop now. Take a really deep breath, full-body breath, stretch the belly in the lungs to full capacity and then let the air out much further out than you normally would.

Big sensation comes into the body and you open your eyes.

If I have a chance to journey with you again, the next step will be to start to visit in this way, sensations like fear, sensations like dissatisfaction and unsafety.

Because the whole work of love and learning to love is to learn to sit down in those dimensions, those places of fear and dissatisfaction and instead of believing what your mind tells you about them, get to know them in the immediacy of your worse self presencing and you’ll drop deeper and deeper gradually, slowly, freeing yourself of what the mind creates when there’s fear or pain or need.

By need, I mean mind-made needs, not the deeper need.

It’s been a pleasure to be with you. Thank you.

Closing

Candice Wu 27:40

And as you shift from this meditation that Richard has offered, feel free to tune into anything your body needs here as you transition, connect with what resonated for you, perhaps which you’d like to carry with you throughout the day.

And we’ll leave you with a little bit of music here today as you continue to shift.

Again, feel free to check out the podcast with Richard Moss is fantastic and just as good as the meditation or better. That’s at CandiceWu.com/richardmoss and also feel free to check out other podcasts, meditations and healing experience at CandiceWu.com/meditations as well as other podcasts at CandiceWu.com/podcast. See you next time on the Embody Podcast.

Candice Wu 0:00
In this podcast learn how Patrick Kalscheur integrated spirituality and consciousness into an empowering practice as a family lawyer, mediator, and coach. How to move from scarcity towards abundance to open a stepping stone of gratitude towards manifestation and shifting from grief to empowerment.

Candice Wu 0:21
Hello, and welcome. You're listening to the body podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, embodied healing and self-love. My name is Candice Wu and I'm a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach and artists sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 0:52
All of the production and back in creation for this podcast is brought to you by the soul body women's retreat that will adventure in October 2018.

Candice Wu 1:12
This embodied healing retreat is inspired to support women and connecting soul and body and clearing out all of the garbage and clutter that stops them from being truly themselves in their joy at ease and feeling empowered. For this and future retreats, you can find out more at CandiceWu.com/retreats and your support and sharing or joining a retreat helps me make more healing albums, content and create more podcast episodes. I'm truly grateful for your support.

Candice Wu 1:39
How does one bridge spirituality wanting to make a difference and Family Law together, this is exactly what Patrick Kalscheur has done as a conscious family lawyer, a mediator and a coach. For this particular episode, whether or not you're in need of information about family law or divorce, you'll get some true abundant insight from Patrick about a variety of things in life. In Patrick, support of people going through one of life's greatest transitions of divorce, he starts by re-framing divorce from a process of grief and depression and the end of a relationship to what can also be a process that offers healing, growth and the new beginning. He collaborates with other healers and practitioners like myself working with the client's strengths to build a support system that helps a person move through the entire divorce process from the beginning and an all the way through to the life that they'd like to live. He uses practices like meditation and visualization to help facilitate a process of growth for his clients and as a special treat. Following this episode is a deeply powerful, guided gratitude meditation by Patrick to support you in deepening in your own abundant self. So, let's jump into the episode.

Candice Wu 2:54
Welcome, Patrick.

Patrick Kalscheur 2:56
Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's so good to talk to you, I've been following your journey, and really enjoying listening to everything that you've been having going on. So, I feel honored to be here today.

Candice Wu 3:08
Mmm. Thank you so much. It's really quite an honor to have you today, I would love for you to share how you got to this place in your life with all the aspects that you bring.

Patrick Kalscheur 3:16
Well, it's a long story, but I'll make it as short as I can for the podcast here. I have gone through many iterations of career and in my life, and I think when I first went to law school, I was really interested in creating positive change in the world. I had been doing Teach for America at the, in the inner city of Washington, DC, and I wanted to, to change the world. And I went into law school with all of this desire and idealism and, you know, get into law school. And all of a sudden, I find that I'm being drawn into this family law practice unexpectedly. And something that I pushed to the side and said, No, that's not really for me, I'm not interested in divorce. That sounds really depressing. I don't want to do that I want to go change the world. Well, fast forward a little ways to going into a large practice of being a litigator in a very large law firm in Chicago, working for big corporations, and realizing that my soul was just feeling crushed, and I wasn't doing any of the idealism and I wasn't doing anything that I felt really drawn to. And I knew I needed to make a change in my life. And this family law kept coming back to me. And at a certain point, when you get the same message over and over, sometimes I realized, I just have to listen to that. And I made a shift to practicing with families going through the biggest one of the biggest transitions you could ever go through in your life. And that's divorce. And I found myself really feeling like I could make a big positive impact on people's lives, while also still doing really good work that I could feel great about. And so, I've been practicing in family law for a while. But as I did that, I also realized that one of the things that the law doesn't naturally lend itself to was the other part of me that felt so important, which is my spirituality and the practices that really nourished me in my personal life, meditation and yoga and being in nature and the things that really just made me feel so alive in the world, I needed to find a way to also offer that to my clients and into my work. And when I started to accept that I needed to bring my whole self into my practice, I realized that there's really no reason that as a lawyer I couldn't bring those things to my practice itself into my clients. And so it's a long journey of lots of smaller awakenings along the way, where I realized that to really be in the best service to my clients, I had to bring all of these pieces together.

Candice Wu 6:17
That's beautiful. And it's such a reminder of that family practice, Family Law comes knocking at your door is such a reminder of these messages that we get, or these things that are trying to come to us come through us and to listen. And here it is in your life.

Patrick Kalscheur 6:21
Yeah, and those reminders are there and they're fresh, and they're needed. Also, when I'm just really trying to serve my client. And yeah, I want to be there to offer them all the tools possible that they could need, as they move through this huge transition in their lives and start planning towards that thing in the future, they're going to be something right now, they might be in a really brief stricken place. But I want them to see that as also an opportunity for healing and an opportunity for creating a new future for themselves, and bringing these other aspects of meditation and visualization, really helping people access things that can help them see what a more positive future could be for them, that really allows me to be really the best I think, advocate, I can be for them through a hugely difficult process.

Candice Wu 7:31
You're taking something that has been typically viewed you use the word depressing, but you're using this as a spiritual experience that they can learn more about themselves, they can take this experience and use it transformationally so that they have an even better life moving forward. And I think one of the first things that I noticed about your work when you shared it the first time with me is that you're supporting clients in a journey, not just to divorce but through that, all the way to where they want to get to in their lives. Is that right? And how do you do that?

Patrick Kalscheur 8:09
Yeah. So what I try to do, is start with just re-framing what divorce means for people a lot of times, because often people will see that as they come in with a lot of grief often or at some point, there's a lot of sadness, grief, there's a loss, there's a loss of the relationship and help them honor that and hold the space for them to be able to honor that and have other people that are their mental health practitioners, other healers that can help them move through that process. But then also try to help them begin the work of visualizing will, what can this look like in the future, and what can my life be like going forward, you know, if there are children involved, usually, there's a big hook for people to want to figure out how to move through a process where they're not going to do a lot of damage in the relationship with their soon to be former partners, so that they can co-parent their children together. And so it's really helping them come back to what feels like that future that I want to create. What feels like an authentic place that I want to be in the future and not get stuck in the anger, the grief, the fear, there's a lot of fear that comes up for people. And they and it's important to honor that it's important to journal about those things. It's important to have safe spaces to go and express those things. But we don't need to take it out in a legal process. We don't need to take it out in a way that's going to cause harm or damage or to ourselves, or to the possibility that we're going to have some type of relationship with our former partners in the future. Sometimes we don't have those, sometimes you don't. But what do you want to create in the future? And how can we start to visualize that?

Patrick Kalscheur 10:05
So we use a lot of tools that help people identify those tools that they're going to be most effective for them from what they already have in their lives. Some people it's really important about finding the right amount of exercise and diet and different tools that they have, that they can already touch on those things, to see that whether they have a meditation practice or a yoga practice, or finding little moments in nature to connect to themselves so that they can find a still and quiet place to be able to start to see, well, what's really important, what do I really want to create my future? How do I really want to go through this because this time that they have right now in the divorce process, again, I want to re-frame it to also an opportunity, an opportunity to create a new beginning, even though that might be really hard to be at the beginning of the process? But we do get there, we do start to see that there are opportunities for healing and creating a whole new set of realities.

Candice Wu 11:03
I love that a whole new set of realities.

Patrick Kalscheur 11:05
And so, you know, a lot of the things that I have different tools that I like to use with people. And one of the things I like to start with first is really assessing for them, what level of support are they going to need, because it's, it's a very challenging experience to go through. And so, you know, who are the people that they need to rely on will kind of therapies will be the most effective is there places they can go if they feel really challenged while we're going through that grieving process. And then as we start to move further along, we start to bring in meditations and visualizations and journaling exercises, writing exercises, to really start creating that new set of realities, creating those new experiences sitting in an energizing and visualizing those things that we want more of. I found it, you know, in my own life and making changes for myself to create the practice that I have right now. I see that they work and I see that my clients benefit from them. And I just feel so blessed and grateful to be able to share them.

Candice Wu 12:33
It's beautiful. Yeah, I think that's how you and I met was that collaborative piece that you work with all sorts of healing practitioners and support people. And you and I work together with clients at times, what are the types of healing practitioners that seem to be a good fit for your clients? Or would you refer to or connect with?

Patrick Kalscheur 12:33
Well, it depends on the client, each person probably could use their own team, so to speak. And so we try to work on helping to identify that often traditional mental health professionals either already involved or it's helpful to have them involved. But for those clients that want to re-frame this experience, as one of also spiritual emergence, the possibility of emerging in and seeing the spiritual peace that's growing. While they were all through this process, I'm really interested in finding other practitioners that might also do more spiritual merchant type of work. So, energy work, people that to Reiki and other forms of energy work, the ancestral healing can be huge for clients, the constellation work that you do, a lot of times, there's patterns that almost always I shouldn't say, a lot of times, almost always, you will see patterns, family patterns in the divorce process, re-emerge in that process. And of course, for each individual of the two spouses or partners. There's, there's a history there, right, and it goes back however, it goes back for each of them. And then they have their own dynamic that's playing out. And so having professionals that can help work with that is immensely helpful, it requires the client to be open to that, of course, the person going through it has to want to have that kind of assistance and help and support I find sometimes that a lot of that can be picked up. Actually, sometimes when we get to the other side of the divorce when we get through the legal process. And we finish that sometimes, then they're more ready for the healing piece. It just depends on the individual person. But acupuncture also is a place that I find people can get a lot of help. There are lots of different practitioners, it really kind of depends in part on what the person who's coming into the process through the divorce already has some experience in, and some comfort, comfort with, and what's emerging for them right now.

Candice Wu 14:56
Mm-hmm. And my experience working with divorce from a spiritual emergence place, or seeing what healing our growth can come of it, or what transformation this might be driving them towards. I've noticed a lot of things come up fears of money, not having enough, independence and fear that they may not be able to do it themselves, reaching out for support, and how that processes for them. What do you notice in that place that comes up as a piece that people are working with?

Patrick Kalscheur 15:52
There's definitely a lot of fear of there not being enough. That's very typical in normal, let's say, there's a couple that's been married for 10 years or 15 years, and they've purchased a home together. And they've made a lot of life decisions that always felt like they were making these decisions jointly and together. And now there's been a decision to go separate ways. And we have one home, and we're creating two homes, we have what we thought were savings for retirement, or for sometime in the future that I'll have to get divided. And so people start to get really scared. And really in a often their scarcity, their actual feelings of there not being enough, a sense of lack and any fears that and I think many people have this just any way, so that there can't be enough, there's not enough time, there's not enough money, there's not enough just resources in the world to have what they want. Those fears, if they exist, will get very exacerbated, because they're literally sitting down making decisions about how to divide up what they have, which might have already not felt like enough when it was one whole pot. So that's a very common fear that arises.

Patrick Kalscheur 16:50
Another big fear is, is the sense of loss, the fear of what will it be like a person might have a very good relationship with their in-laws or that set of the family or a set of friends, and what will happen when we get divorced, or we separate and I lose that? And what am I going to lose? These people are, they're not going to be in my life anymore. So there's that fear of loss and what life will look like in the future, in this new socially rearranged way. And of course, with children, if there are children involved, then there's, there's going to be a fear of little kids be okay, well, how will the children respond? How will they do living into homes and moving back and forth, and, of course, different fears at different ages for children? There's a lot of fear that comes up. And what I really try to do is get that level of support that my clients need to identify that that is a fear that isn't necessarily real, though. That's something that let's identify it as a fear. Let's talk about it. And then let's see, well, what can we do to alleviate that fear? How can we create a more self a sense of reality? And how can we start to plan for that what you want to have? So how can we move from that place of scarcity to a greater place of abundance? How can we create the experience of having enough? And sometimes that means we have to re-frame what is enough mean, what does that really mean in our lives. It's a process and it's something that by having other professionals help, as well as sometimes it takes time. I really feel like there's an opportunity for people to, to really grow through the process and get through some really difficult fears and learn about themselves and ways that they'll they can be stronger people on the other side. They can really start to move forward into a life that is something they may be never would have otherwise had, or thought they could have.

Candice Wu 16:50
Yeah. It feels like a deliverance from fear into empowerment. Through this process as an opportunity to know your self even deeper.

Patrick Kalscheur 18:58
It can be, but that's, that's the hope some people can't are unable to go there. And the hope in that situation is to give them some of the tools to be able to do that later. But for those that are willing to take the time and do really hard work around it, and do the deeply personal work, absolutely, it can be an amazing opportunity for growth. It's painful, there's pain that you have to go through, I mean, to go to get to a place of growth. I mean, I was listening to some of your podcasts around some of the sort of detox the spiritual detox that you are experiencing, I mean, some of those things we've into, and it's, it's many, many layers. And there's many of the layers that people that are going through a deep grief process are let themselves dive into whether it's the spiritual layer, the emotion layer, the physical layer, and physical also meaning the financial and legal as we can work through as many of those as the clients are willing to do, the greater the amount of growth, the greater the amount of opportunity to create a whole new situation in the future.

Candice Wu 20:16
For you. It's all about how far someone wants to lean into that, and how, how much they need or want that.

Patrick Kalscheur 20:23
Yeah and that's probably one of my biggest challenges. Because I sometimes I want to push a little further and I have to honor and hold back sometimes to say, Okay, I can see this. But if the person isn't ready to lean into that, that's okay. They can lean is this far as they're willing to go. And that's should be honored. And that's part of my work. And part of my challenge is to really hold back and give that space to let each person have their own healing process. Because they are going to have one, whether they're aware of it and conscious of it, and how deeply they want to go with it. That is happening. And it's not for me to sit in judgment around it, you know, it's just for me, to honor it, and to offer whatever tools and assistance that they're ready for.

Candice Wu 21:09
Yeah, I see in my mind, almost like a menu in a directory. And they can go in all these directions, and yet they ultimately need to choose for themselves. And for you to honor that, sounds like a really magical place that they can feel supported. And also see the big picture. If there's, there's sometimes you're in a place and you don't even know that there's a healing that could happen, or you don't even know that there are all these things you could do with it. And just to hold that with someone sounds really powerful.

Patrick Kalscheur 21:42
It's great to work. I feel just blessed to be able to, to do it. And to, to, to be available to help.

Candice Wu 21:50
And you also work as a mediator and with.

Patrick Kalscheur 21:54
I do.

Candice Wu 21:54
Yeah, can you say more about that work, and how you also work with both people in the park if they want that?

Patrick Kalscheur 22:01
Yeah. Um, as a mediator, it's very challenging work, and I enjoy it, I enjoy the challenge because I have to hold the space for both people. And the process is very similar, except that I'm trying to facilitate it, I'm trying to help facilitate it for both people. What is always the challenge is that often one person has moved beyond in their grief, their stages of grief, and their processing of the divorce than the other person. And so it's balancing those two pieces and saying, okay, I understand that you're ready to move, but we need a little bit of time over here. And so it's, it's really a dance between the three of us of trying to balance out the pace and the things that we can do, and the places that we can go and where we need to slow down and getting both of them to deal and trust and buy into that it's, it's it's very good, challenging work. But it's really great when both parties buy into the process and really want to go through that process. Because then I feel like I can offer the same tools to both of them. And if I'm only working with one person, and the other person is working with another attorney, you know, there's, we have some limitations on what we can do. So meditation is great because they both get to hear the same thing from me and see what the process is like. The difference though, is, as a lawyer, I can offer legal advice to a client as a mediator, I can't do that I can just listen and offer information and help them through the process and help them find ways through but I can't advise them on anything, you know, so it's a different hat to put on, but it's a fun hat to put on.

Candice Wu 24:03
And do people hire you as a mediator and then also together as their lawyer or is that just not allowed?

Patrick Kalscheur 24:09
Unfortunately, under the ethical rules, it's not allowed. Once someone hires me as their mediator, the law, unfortunately, and it sees people going through a divorce as adverse to one another like that they have interests that are adverse to each other. And because there's that presumption that they have adverse interest, there's a conflict of interest to represent. I can't represent as a lawyer. I can't represent people with adverse interest. So, if they hire me as a mediator, I'm a neutral and I represent both of them in that neutral role. But I represent neither of them in a legal advisory role, like a lawyer. If that I don't know if that makes sense or not, can be a little confusing.

Candice Wu 24:56
Yeah, it makes sense. I think that that's a fuzzy area for many people. So that's great that you're clarifying it here.

Patrick Kalscheur 25:03
Yeah, if I help people get through mediation and we get all the way to the end, then we need an attorney to finish. And in the state of Illinois, where I am, you have to go through court to get divorced as the final step. And so there has to be at least one attorney. And often it's great for both individuals to have an attorney to just talk to if they want to get that legal advice. And they want to test out some things or feel like they've got as much advice as they might need when they're going through the mediation process. But of course, often when, you know, it's important to have attorneys that really buy into mediation and are interested in helping them move through a process instead of interjecting ideas and opinions too much because that can obviously create conflict that doesn't have to be there.

Candice Wu 25:54
Mm-hmm. That makes sense. So want to shift gears, you have mentioned to me that you see yourself enough as a clear empath. Can you talk about that, and what you do for self-care around that?

Patrick Kalscheur 26:06
Yeah, so. So clear empath, when I say that, I really feel things, right. So when I am present with clients, I can get a sense of a feeling that something needs to be done, or that someone is experiencing something. And so that can extend, of course, as I was sharing with you more on a larger level. And right now, in this current climate that we live in, there's a lot of what feels like toxicity and just in the environment and the United States and as a clear empath, and feeling all of that there's a lot of self-care that needs to be done. And I have to do that with my clients, too. So for me, personally, I do a lot of meditations where I'm clearing out my energetic self, as well as my physical self. So I, I will do meditations where visualize and clear my energy centers out. And for me, particularly, it really resides in my second and third chakras, in the solar plexus, and just below, into me, into my abdomen. And so I have to do a lot of, I like to do some couple of body breathing some really Breath of Fire to get some of that energy out. So that's some of the self-care routines that I have. And then I also just have realized have to pace myself, I have to take rest. And I have to not feel like I need to just take on more and more clients in cases all of the time, there has to be a pace between it for me because otherwise, I'll take on things and then I'm not serving the people that I'm trying to serve. I'm not helping in the way that I want to be able to help because it's important that I'm very clear about what is mine, and what is theirs. And that I'm not bringing those things on for myself because then I'm not really being doubtful. I'm just confusing the situation. So I really have to ground myself and really have to clear myself on a regular basis.

Candice Wu 28:09
And just take send-off of that. What do you find is nourishing your soul lately. What fulfills you?

Patrick Kalscheur 28:16
What nature has? Oh, time in nature has always fulfilled me. So, whenever I can find a moment for walks outside, right now, here in Chicago, it's summertime, it's beautiful, the weather's fantastic. The days are long, just going for a walk with my wife in the morning nourishes me feels great. Meditation always does that for me. Yoga, those are things that really make me feel grounded and nourished for sure.

Candice Wu 28:47
Mm-hmm. So let's shift gears. Once more, I want to swing back to you supporting your clients manifesting what they truly want. And if we're used the words with me from scarcity towards abundance. I'd love for you to talk a little bit more about that. And how you see that.

Patrick Kalscheur 29:04
Yeah, so one of the things that again, because I've seen this come up a lot for my clients, I felt myself create this in my own personal life as well. And so what I've really started to work with is, it's a lot of what I was saying before, which is honoring and recognizing the pieces that are might be creating the scarcity and then identifying that which we want to create in our lives. So often, the moment when we say to ourselves, I can't have this, or I don't deserve this, or I just, I want this vacation, or I want this experience, I want more time with my family each time that we say that to ourselves, what we're really saying is, I don't have I can't have and we're creating the experience of scarcity instead of actually creating the thing that we want. So what I really try to work with people on is to find those inner triggers that are causing those messages. And that can appear for people physically.

Patrick Kalscheur 30:14
So with some meditation practices to sit and as those messages pop up, is there something that we feel in our bodies is their areas sensations or their memory. So their images are the things that are coming up that are causing some of these experiences of scarcity, these experiences of not being able to have what we want, and then writing about that, working with that, and then starting to talk about what are the things that I actually want to create? So if I want to have this vacation in some warm place, when it's winter time in Chicago? Well, how about visualizing, and having a meditation and visualizing what does it feel like what is the experience who is present with me really start to charge up the idea of that thing that I want to create, really start to come into the experience and come into being actually I am that which I want to create, and it empowers it and we energize it and with the more that we sit in a space of the experience that we want to have, it starts to just become a reality, it just will start to happen. We have the ability to make those things happen. If we can stop the message that is saying, I don't deserve it, I can't have it. But actually in it, actually can come into that experience, you can start to feel different sensations in your body. What happens when I visualize what it's like to be in the experience that I want to have? What images come up? What messages come up? And write about that and just cart start to sit in that experience more and more and more talent starts to become your reality.

Candice Wu 32:03
So, this makes no sense for the embody podcast? Why did you think to bring that here? I'm just kidding. With you, that's perfect, that's complete embodiment that's tuning into what you want embodying it, and you are it and just open yourself to what you already are. I love it. And that sounds like it relates right to the meditation that you're offering that we're going to release together as a separate podcast. So, if you're interested in that, if you're listening, that it will go out separately so that you can use it. But tell us a little more about that if it's exactly what you just described. Or if there's a little bit more for that.

Patrick Kalscheur 32:59
It's one of several different meditations of coming into the experience of that which I want to create. So one of the pieces that I've found is a sort of a good building block because sometimes people have a hard time visualizing what they want to have in the future. And so what I sometimes will work with people as a starting point, which is what I'm offering in this meditation is to come into gratitude of the things that I already have in my life. So, the meditation is to allow yourself to really start to see the things that are already present and whether it's the people that feel really important to us. What is it like to sit in the experience and the meditation of what are they offer? What is it that I love about that person? Or even it could be a challenge, they might create a challenge, but it's something that rewards me in my life. What about nature? Experiences that we've all had in nature, seeing a sunrise or a sunset, just saying thank you, and being grateful, and really coming into the experience that perhaps we've all had when we see a beautiful ocean vista or see the mountains? And what is that experience? Wow, I've had that. I want to create more of that. I'm grateful for it. I've come in into appreciation and gratitude for the things that we already have experienced, and we already have in our lives, and then starting to build from there. And I think a lot of times, energizing those experiences helps us start to see the things in addition to that and open ourselves up to having more of those. And then seeing the other things we might want to add into that to really come into the place of authenticity that we all want to live.

Candice Wu 34:22
Mm-hmm. It's a beautiful bridge and pathway opening. Good. Thank you so much for offering that I'm really excited to share that with our audience. Again, if you are listening and you want to try that out, you can check out the link that's connected with this podcast and it will also be published separately so that you can listen to it all on its own. And Patrick, now I want to jump into our lightning round a little bit of a playful questionnaire.

Patrick Kalscheur 34:25
Awesome.

Candice Wu 34:25
Ready?

Patrick Kalscheur 34:25
Yeah.

Candice Wu 34:26
Okay. What's the title of the current chapter of your life?

Patrick Kalscheur 34:56
I'm summer.

Candice Wu 34:59
Haha!

Patrick Kalscheur 35:00
And I say that can I only give one-word answers or connects me?

Candice Wu 35:04
You can explain.

Patrick Kalscheur 35:06
Okay, it is not just because it's summary here. But because I feel like in the summertime, there's so much playfulness. And there's so much vibrancy and abundance. And in the summertime right now in Chicago, you go to the farmers market, and everything is, is there and right now I'm just in this beautiful place of having so much abundance and just joy in my life. So I'm just really grateful for all of it. And so yeah, that's the chapter that I'm, I'm currently enjoying.

Candice Wu 35:32
I love it. I'm so happy for you can almost feel the color fullness of everything you're experiencing. Because I'm not there. I'm a bit of a cold place. I'm in Perth, Australia, but it's not that cold. It's quite enjoyable. And every other day we have like thrashing rains, which I love thunderstorms. So

Patrick Kalscheur 35:52
Yeah.

Candice Wu 35:53
But it's quite different from that summery feel.

Patrick Kalscheur 35:55
Well, we get good thunderstorms in the summertime here, too. So I could.

Candice Wu 35:58
Right, you can they'll mix of both.

Patrick Kalscheur 36:01
Yeah.

Candice Wu 36:02
Okay. Here's one. If you could make a 22nd phone call to yourself at any point in your life, the present, future, past, when would you call yourself and what would you say?

Patrick Kalscheur 36:16
I would probably call myself let's see, I would say in the future. And I'll because the thing is that that I know that challenges I'm in this great place right now. I'm in summer right now. But I also know that autumn and winter are going to come back again. So at that point in the future, when I feel of those challenges, and I feel the difficulty, the core issues reemerge to say Hey, remember that chapter of summer and how beautiful it was? You can have that again and come back to it. Come back to the meditation come back to the being present in the moment. Come back to to the practices, you know, and you love to come back to nature come back to those things. Because I know that that challenge will re-emerge. It's just a fact of life. And so I think that's the 22nd phone call. I would have myself.

Candice Wu 37:12
Nice reminder. Mm-hmm. Okay. See, what job would you be horrible at?

Patrick Kalscheur 37:21
Secretary! I can't organize very well at all.

Candice Wu 37:24
Really?

Patrick Kalscheur 37:25
What are the challenges of having my own practice is that I have to be my own secretary and I need to hire. It was like: “Oh, my goodness.” Organization is not my greatest strength. So yeah. Being a secretary, or anyone who has to organize things, files and things like that.

Candice Wu 37:41
Mm-hmm. It's fun to laugh at ourselves a little and just look silly aspects of where we are.

Patrick Kalscheur 37:50
Yeah.

Candice Wu 37:51
You know, not the best. Yeah. Okay. So I recently had this dream where this big van in front of me fell into the sky like it fell off the road and into the sky crashed into a building. Big explosion. And then dinosaurs came out of the side door. And I got a lot out of that, like, yeah, old habits leaving me. This needed need for this grand explosion for this to happen. What's an interesting or strange dream that you've had lately? If your dream, if you remember your dreams.

Patrick Kalscheur 38:22
I struggle to remember my dreams. Actually. That's it's one of the things that so when I have them, I know to pay attention to them. And I haven't had really strong ones recently. But in the not too distant past. I mean, I certainly, you know, there's, I've always had the this, this dream of running and jumping. Just there's the cliff. There's like, there's that at the end of it. There's running, running, running and what's going to happen when I jump off that cliff. And I had that dream alive right before I left to start my practice that I'm in because I literally felt like I was jumping off a cliff. I didn't know if there was a net that was going to catch me or not. But so anytime that I feel this emergent big change, I have this. It's a scary feeling. And it's also exhilarating at the same time because I jump and there's just that all those butterflies, but I always wake up for I fall.

Candice Wu 39:28
Whoo hoo hoo.

Patrick Kalscheur 39:29
I don't. I don't know what we do. It's always it always. It. It's one of those things that jolt me away. So yeah, unfortunately, I wish that I know. There's so much rich information and dreams. And I just sleep so hard. I don't wake up and I don't remember them.

Candice Wu 39:47
Mm-hmm. I, when I hear you talk about this dream of what came to me was, this was the process you had as you jumped into this career in which you support people do that very thing, the same thing, that they're taking this jump and they have no idea what's on the other side. And they have to wake up. Well, they don't have to. But it might be nice to wake up.

Patrick Kalscheur 40:12
We hope they do. Yeah.

Candice Wu 40:13
Yeah. But taking the leap, you had to take your own leap. And the work you do it seems like an iteration of that same kind of leap?

Patrick Kalscheur 40:25
Yeah, I think so. I think so. And, you know, it's the same thing about the call to myself in the future is like, I've taken these leaps in the past. And I know that through that process, and taking those leaps in the hard work, and to really some beautiful, rich stuff that comes out of it. And that's what I tried to share with my clients and encourage them to. I know it's scary, but take that jump, and it's amazing what's on the other side.

Candice Wu 40:58
So, thank you. Thanks for playing with the lightning round. We're coming to the end of our podcast. And is there anything else, Patrick, that you want to share today?

Patrick Kalscheur 41:08
No, I just, I'm really grateful to be here talking to you. So enjoyed following your adventures and the process that you're going through, and really grateful for you sharing that for to all of us on this podcast, and inviting me to be here. And it just about a great, great time talking with you.

Candice Wu 41:29
Thank you, Patrick. It's been wonderful talking to you today. And as always, every time we connect, and today, I just learned so much about how you bring so much support and optimism and transformation into your process of working with your clients. It's just such beautiful work and very unique. I've not met another lawyer that takes it to this level of depth and heartfelt connection and life, meaning it's still wonderful.

Patrick Kalscheur 42:01
Thank you.

Candice Wu 42:02
So where can people find you?

Patrick Kalscheur 42:04
Well, I'm in Chicago, and my website is Chicago conscious law. com. And they can find me there. I'm also doing life coaching through my wife's practice at introspective family therapy in Chicago. So I'm, I'm on the north side and the Lake View. And Ravens Wood neighborhoods. So, that's where I'm at.

Candice Wu 42:26
Great! And when you're working as a life coach, what aspects of life are you working with? Or who are you working with?

Patrick Kalscheur 42:34
Well, so, I like to use a lot of the same tools that I was talking about, except that there's no legal process involved, right? So we take the legal stuff out completely. And so anyone who's going through a life transition, you know, I've worked with people that, for example, preparing to take the bar exam has been a great, great one for someone with a lot of fear around that visualizing success using some of these same visualization and meditation techniques to help them synthesize the information.

Patrick Kalscheur 43:04
One of the things that I really found that helped me get to be in the practice that I'm in is once I started to, because I used to do litigation, I used to be in the courtroom, I used to, and if you can, can imagine you people have seen it on TV. But it's a really high-stress situation where you feel all the sense of responsibility for the client and the outcome. And you're in this very convoluted environment in the courthouse with all these weird rules. And there's all this you try to remember all this information and pack it all in. And so, once I realized that if I just crowded myself and I did my meditation, I brought my spirituality into my work. And I was focused, but I was really just having a conversation with the judge or with the client. And, and it's, it didn't have to be so convoluted. And so I learned that so I like to work with other lawyers, and I like to work with other people that want to bring that into their own life lives and their own practices to how can I get grounded? How can I get into a place where my message that I need to convey is coming out very clearly? It's exactly what I want to say. Um, so I like to do that work with people in that environment. But I also like to work with people might be going through job transitions or just change that they have going on, and they want to visualize and create that new future for themselves.

Candice Wu 44:25
Beautiful. Thank you so much, Patrick.

Patrick Kalscheur 44:26
Thank you.

Candice Wu 44:29
You're welcome. Thank you. Stay tuned for Patrick's gratitude meditation and look forward to talking to you again, Patrick. Thank you.

Candice Wu 44:38
Thank you so much for joining us today. It's a pleasure to have Patrick on the show. And every time I meet with him, I do feel this sense of empowerment and positivity radiate from even the hardest things. You can learn more about Patrick by checking out the meditation that he has offered on the show the next podcast and connected with his episode and you can check out his info at www.chicagoconsciouslaw.com. Thank you so much for listening. And before you go, I'd like to invite you to listen to more podcast interviews, meditations and healing explorations at CandiceWu.com/podcast. And if you'd like to subscribe to my bi-monthly newsletter, you can become a member of the embedded community at CandiceWu.com/embody. We'll get lots of different healing meditations, grounding practices, and information about upcoming events. If you liked this episode, if anything spoke to you, or you like what I do and want to support my work, I would be so grateful if you went to CandiceWu.com/Patreon and made a donation of any amount. All that money goes straight into producing the podcast episodes as well as other healing meditations and albums that go out to the public. Thank you so much for listening and see you next time on The Embody podcast.

Candice Wu 0:00

Today, we have a special meditation led by guest, Patrick Kalscheur, who was a guest on the podcast this week, you can find his full podcast at CandiceWu.com/patrick. This is also a kickoff of the Embody Podcast, being a space where other healers, meditation specialists or practitioners can offer a taste of what they do. So, if there’s a specific thing that you’re looking for, a type of experience you’d like to have, feel free to reach out to me and let me know. And without further ado, let’s jump into the meditation with Patrick.

Patrick Kalscheur 0:40

Hello, and thank you for joining me today in this meditation on gratitude. Gratitude is so important for us to focus in on the things in our lives that we really appreciate, because if we want to create more of that, which we really want, appreciating what we already have can really focusing in on the qualitative reasons, the feelings, the emotions, the energy behind why we like those things and want those things in our lives that appreciate them. We give ourselves the opportunity to really charge up that positive experience and focus in on what it is that we really appreciate in our lives and just offer that gratitude.

So, as we build towards creating the life we want to live, we want to really understand how it is that those are the things we want. That information can come through as sensations in your body. It can come through as images, a memory, there will be lots of different things that might appear during the course of this meditation. What I ask is that you have a journal, and a pen, and a glass of water, and you go ahead and pause this meditation if you need to, to write down, record any really important information that comes in, because I want to invite you to really build on that, if there’s a feeling in your body, a sensation, a tingling sensation in your stomach or your heart feels expansive. At a certain moment, when you feel grateful for something, write that down. If there’s an image or a memory, take a note of it, and then allow yourself to come back and build on that.

Also, feel free to invite in other things than what I’m offering in this meditation that you personally are grateful for in your life. Feel free to take a break and drink from a glass of water, and come back and just keep building on that gratitude and seeing how this can grow for you, and how you can really start to invite in those things that you truly want in your life, start to become them. So, once you have that journal, pen, a glass of water, and a comfortable chair, please join me.

First, come into your chair. I like to use a straight back chair, allowing my arms to rest comfortably in my lap or on the arms of the chair. Feel your posture, direct and tall, but your shoulders relaxed, you’re breathing able to come in and out of your body, simply. Let your breath come deep down into your belly. Feel the breath, fill your belly on the inhale and release out of your body on the exhale.

Take a few deep breaths like this. Inhaling into your belly, exhaling out of your body. Then let your breath travel further up into the space in your chest and your heart, and really start to expand that space with the inhale, welcoming that in and releasing on the exhale, just feel your body allowing any sensations that arise to arise, taking note of them, any images that come in to appear and letting them go with each inhale and each exhale.

Now, I ask you to turn your attention to something that you can feel truly appreciative for. I often like to think of people that are closest to me, those that bring me laughter, that are honest with me, those that I truly love, and I know their love for me is pure. See them. What does it feel like to see this person or this group of people supporting you, loving you, and you simply loving them back for who they are? You may feel a smile come to your face, let it come. That could be a memory, an image of some time you spend together.

Now, expand this gratitude out to more people, other friends, family, colleagues, those that teachers have come before us or others that we respect, and love, and just let yourself feel full of love and gratitude for time. Thank you. Thank you for the gifts you have brought into my life. Thank you for the love. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for the good times we’ve spent together.

And as we continue on, welcome in others that bring joy and peace into your life, that could be a pet that you feel especially close to or once felt close to that you may have lost, but that love is still there. See them, appreciate them, feel any sensations that come in your body. There could be tingling, warmth, new sounds that you remember, appear.

Now, let’s bring our gratitude to this beautiful, Great Mother Earth of ours. Feel and see the warmth of the sun in the gifts that the sun provides to us, beautiful warm summer days, the plants that grow and are nourished by the sun.

Thank you, sun, and see the trees and the birds that live and singing those trees, and the beautiful songs that they bring to us, really allowing yourself to. Remember a time or a feeling of when you heard those birds singing.

And thank you to the mountains and the ocean. How awesome you are and how humble I feel in your presence. Thank you for the beautiful sunrises and sunsets that happen every day. Thank you to the stars and a brilliant sky. Thank you to the moon and the rhythms that you create for us.

Thank you for the home that I have. Thank you for the food that is present in my life. Allow yourself to take a few moments, now, to appreciate anything else that feels particularly special and relevant to you. Really letting any sensations arise in your body, memories, images to arise.

Now, you can ask for more of these things that are so appreciative of. I welcome into my life even more sun, more gratitude, more feelings of peace and love, time with these special people.

Thank you for this moment to be here in meditation together for the breath that I breathe. I am here ready to receive more and the deepest gratitude and appreciation to you all. Namaste.