This episode is about what to do when you’re depressed, shut down, dissociated and numb, and why this is happening. It’s a compassionate look at the body and how it’s trying to protect us, and adapt. So, in this episode, we explore noticing signs of nervous system overwhelm, the polyvagal theory, how to heal trauma, and 12 ways that you can support yourself when you’re feeling nervous system overwhelm or dissociation, and how this can all bring more understanding and humanity to our interactions, in relationships of all kinds.

Candice Wu 0:41

Hello, and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, embodied healing, and self-love. My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist, sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 1:12

I want to make a quick announcement that also is in support of the podcast, that I’ve recently been supporting people by holding one-on-one emergence with them. This is completely collaborative and designed specifically by you or you can hand over the details to me to handle but it is a wonderful opportunity to get one-on-one time with me in an immersive setting where we can work exactly with what you are wanting, desiring, challenge within your life, from all these different ways of embodied healing — family constellations, Somatic Experiencing, spiritual practices, voice dialogue as well as be in a space that you and I select together that can hold your experience. This can be with or without a horse, where we have experiences to be with a horse and journey into connection and wisdom that the horse can bring. The horses are extremely intuitive and can sense what you’re feeling and what you’re not feeling, and mirror that to you as a way to bring you more information on the next path of your life.

Candice Wu 2:38

I love doing this work with people because it gives me the chance to hold that space in a longer period of time, that we can really go deep and get to the root of things as well as support you in feeling the peace and pleasure that you want to feel. You can find more about that at CandiceWu.com and also by reaching out to me via email or through the website at embody@candicewu.com. This offering, as well as other offerings that I have, are all in support of the podcast. Some of the proceeds go towards producing this podcast and bringing new guests on, and I’ve been talking about this for a couple of weeks now but there is a database of all healing experientials and meditations that are on the podcast by me as well as guests, and you can search on that for things that you’re looking for. The page is at CandiceWu.com/meditations.

Candice Wu 3:36

The podcast also has its own search at CandiceWu.com/podcast. On top of that, each of the podcasts are being transcribed, the experiential and meditations are, too. So, in case you prefer to digest the material through the written word and your visual acuity, then you can go on to each podcast link and right below where it says that you can click to listen, there’s a transcription. The experiential meditations are being completed in a backward order. So, starting from the newest and most recent working its way backward, and we’ve got about three-quarters of them done, which is really exciting. Now, let’s jump into this episode.

Candice Wu 4:23

So, a while back, I talked about anger, and anger is part of our experience of a fight response in the nervous system. And what that conversation brought for many people was this understanding of why anger is important, and what it can bring us and how it can support us in our lives, and bringing this compassion to this emotion that’s been villainized anger. There are so many places where we think, “Oh, we shouldn’t be angry.” And we get mad at ourselves being angry, and yet anger is this before vital life force energy that protects us and keeps us alive. We have this instinctual body that first and foremost wants us to survive. So, that’s where it comes from but it can also inform our understanding of what we want, need and are doing in the world besides the survival mode part.

Candice Wu 5:23

So, that episode is that CandiceWu.com/anger, and it comes with three experientials around working with anger and engaging with it in a different way, relating with it, as well as healing, using anger. And that connects to this episode because, in this episode, we’re talking about Nervous System Overwhelm. The nervous system has several states of being, and three of the primary ones are fight, which we just talked about, flight and freeze, and some people add a fourth one, which is appease, which I think, in my opinion, connects with freeze. It’s an active freeze that submits to something when it feels safer to do so.

Candice Wu 6:17

So, today, we’re talking about the freeze response of the nervous system, and to be more exact, polyvagal theory, which explains what’s happening to the nervous system when we have this phrase or shut down response, and I’ll talk all about the signs of this and noticing if you’re experiencing this. The freeze response is called tonic immobility because it comes from how our animal body will protect itself if we get to that state of overwhelm, of feeling threatened, of a lack of safety. You might be already wondering, “Well, I don’t really have real threats going on, and how come I’m feeling x y&z? How come I’m feeling dissociated or numb or all of these symptoms?” And we’ll go through those.

Candice Wu 7:14

It doesn’t take much for our nervous system to get activated, and if we are getting activated, it is a sign perhaps that you have some previous trauma that wants to be worked through and renegotiated. Of course, a present a situation can bring us to tonic immobility or freeze state, if we need it, and so it’s really important to understand that when our nervous system believes that we’re that unsafe, then it’s going to turn on this function of numbing, of separating, and dissociating from this experience, to preserve yourself, to preserve your body, and your being.

Candice Wu 8:03

So, let’s back it all up here. One morning, recently, I woke up with dizziness, and it was so interesting, I haven’t had this experience in a long time, and there was a particular reason that I was experiencing it, and I was aware of that. I was in a group setting where we were specifically working with Nervous System Overwhelm, and I hadn’t quite navigated what my role was yet. And in a situation where there’s a bit of uncertainty, and the group’s feeling overwhelmed, I can have a tendency to take on that energy of overwhelm. I’m very emotionally empathic and responsive to those energies, but I specifically have a weaker boundary around that because when I was in my young life, my family was extremely overwhelmed and shut down, and those emotions that they’re not digesting, went somewhere, and they flooded my system. So, I get triggered and overwhelmed in this experience in the present day.

Candice Wu 9:14

So, I woke up the next morning, with that dizziness, as I will go to the bathroom, and like slammed my arm against the door in passing or I would feel like woozy and just unable to see straight. So, I sat down with myself, and luckily, I was aware that this was likely related to my nervous system feeling activated rather than in the past, I would have wondered what was wrong with me, I would have wondered if I needed to go to a doctor or I would get scared, and that probably would add to it, and maybe that would be true that I would need to go to a doctor at some point, but all these tools in my tool belt, all these wonderful tools from Somatic Experiencing as well as family constellations, but primarily from Somatic Experiencing, that can be used before you need to take the next step, and especially I knew I was pretty healthy.

Candice Wu 10:23

I wonder, “Well, did I eat something that was a little off,” but I wanted to just try a couple of things to see what would happen, and I sat down with myself and first just felt what I felt and noticed the dizziness, and asked my body, like, “What do you want to do now? What is the organic movement or impulse that wants to come through?” And nothing really showed up except for just like kind of wanting to curl up, which is one of the signs of nervous system overwhelm, but I knew that if I helped my body find safety, then this would probably pass, and I could deal with the emotions that would come. So, I chose to use one of the tools, which I’ll explain further in this episode of running around my space or jogging in place is what you can do, too, but running around my space, and then doing it in super slow motion so my body could integrate it, and register that I took action and used the energy of a flight response, running, flight and imagined myself run to a safe person and a place.

Candice Wu 11:56

And so, I just did it for as long as I felt like I needed an imagined myself going there, and when I arrived, I let my body rest there and receive the experience of safety that this safe place and that person would bring me in my imagination, and allowed my body to feel it. Remember that the body doesn’t truly know if it happened or not, and if it gets to go through the motions with awareness and witness, then it feels that it has happened. So, my body got to experience that it got to safety and got to receive the love and support that I really needed, and then I had some tears, and I felt my body come down. I felt my breath deepen naturally, so without having to force it. I felt my vision get clear. I felt that presence, in my imagination, of course, of the safe person that could give me the love and the support that I needed, that I sensed I needed, that I could touch into the emotions that it was revealing in me and those could move.

Candice Wu 13:19

And so, here I’m not numb anymore, I’m not dizzy anymore, the emotions can come down. The energy that went up, that was too overwhelming to digest, going downward and out word had a way to move now. And after that, I felt great. I actually felt way better than the day before, and all that moved, I wasn’t dizzy anymore, and I was ready to go with the day.

Candice Wu 13:47

So, for me, that’s years and years of practice, and working with different practitioners, healers, and therapists to develop that tool and myself but I want to share some of those tools in this episode today. Many of them coming from Peter Levine’s study and practice of Somatic Experiencing, all of which derive from how animals in the wild release trauma are they complete, the movement that needs to be completed and the energy that comes through the instinctual body. They don’t typically experience trauma, in the same way, that we do, at least. Of course, there are discussions of different kinds of animals, and also ones that are more domesticated that are experiencing trauma, but typically the ones in the wild that make it, they have this natural way of completing what needs to happen, and then they’re feeling safe and in the world again, with all their possibilities of experiencing.

Candice Wu 15:01

So, what I’d like to do now is invite you to come into this question: How much of me is here right now? So, as you’re listening to me, as you’re here with yourself, wherever you are, where if you’re in passing in transit or you’re sitting down or you’re doing errands, just how much of you is here with yourself, here in the world and present? Notice how much of you is not here, and this is not to be judgmental or critical or as a test. It’s just gauge and sense to be aware of where you’re up, you’re at. You might sense that 50% of you is here, and some amount of you is left behind in an experience that was upsetting or at work. How much of you is here? Where is your awareness and what is the quality of your awareness? How are you feeling in your body right now?

Candice Wu 16:26

If you’re someone that’s so used to toughing it out or plowing through or going into the hard stuff of your healing or pushing through at work, you might be overriding a lot of signals of your nervous system that tell you, “This is a little too much.” And that cycle is something the body can get used to. It’s like auto override and autopilot. So, that’s one major reason to understand the polyvagal theory and how the body can go into nervous system freeze is to notice where you’re being unkind to yourself and pushing beyond what your body wants to do. I get that at the end of the day, there are things that you need to do, and what times and ways in which you need to push through, but if we could push through a little less and not ignore our bodies, we might experience a lot more, and we might experience a lot more pleasure and joy in our lives as we’re going through the things we know we want and need to do.

Candice Wu 17:37

So, to simply feel better, it’s a real thing, that we want to feel better in ourselves, and to feel a deeper understanding of who you are and to ally with your body, to navigate your full experience. These are all really good reasons to understand the freeze response, and it gives a way to understand each other, to understand yourself in trauma or what parts of you have been traumatized, what that means, and to understand how other people might be experiencing this, and how in relationships, there can be a dance of withdrawal and attack going back and forth. And there can be also a feeling of abandonment when someone withdraws and has a physiological trauma response such as shut down.

Candice Wu 18:41

Stonewalling is also sometimes mixed with using that as a weapon, like shutting down in order to hurt the other person or to get a reaction out of the person, but it can be diffused by understanding what is going on behind the scenes. And also, if you understand the polyvagal theory, you can understand how extreme stress can lead to the shutdown experience, and how to read your own body as well as where other people are at so you know where they’re coming from or have a little more compassion.

Candice Wu 19:19

So, as we jump into noticing where our nervous system is overwhelmed and in a freeze response, we need to talk about polyvagal theory, which I’ve dropped in a few times here, and I also talk a bit about in the anger podcast. This is a theory by Stephen Porges. The polyvagal theory reflects the primal need for us to survive and stay alive, and how important that is to our body. It covers three states of our nervous system, one which is connection of ventral vagal response, fight or flight, which is a sympathetic response either one of those because it compels action or shut down, which is dorsal vagal. There’s an easy image in which to picture this, and it’ll link that I’ll put onto the show notes, Dr. David Puder describes a lioness and a gazelle, and how you can see this in nature, and I’ll briefly describe it here.

Candice Wu 20:28

So, picture a lion finding a gazelle, and the gazelle sees the lion or senses something, notices danger, it starts to perk up, and its ears go up, neck stiffens up, and at some point realizes they have to run. So, get the sounds running and that’s a sympathetic flight response, and let’s say the lion captures gazelle. The gazelles’ nervous system then will kick into a shutdown response, playing dead, so to say. And in that place, the gazelle is conserving energy in order to make their grand escape if they can, but also to enact a dead state so that perhaps they’re not going to be as desirable to that lion, and maybe that lion will get distracted. And that can create the opportunity for the gazelle to run away.

Candice Wu 21:31

So, let’s say that happens, and the lion gets distracted, bringing this gazelle back to their cubs, and the gazelle sees this moment and ceases it and runs, sprints, coming back to life, back into a sympathetic nervous system response from where they were in the tonic immobility, and they run to safety. And in that place, I want to mention pranking because they end up celebrating and having a victory dance of “I’m alive. I’m strong, I’m, I’m okay” and humans reflect that, too.

Candice Wu 22:16

So, polyvagal theory touches on three states of the nervous system, reaction or response, a state of connection and social engagement, which is a ventral bagel response, a fight or flight, which is a parasympathetic response, or shutdown, which is tonic immobility, which is dorsal vehicle response. So, the reason we have that response, the reason that the nervous system just turns the switch for us is that it feels like what we’re experiencing is too much or too dangerous or too risky, and it’s better to wait it out.

Candice Wu 23:01

So, the interesting thing is, whenever we’ve had an experience of this in the past, where something was too risky to do, like, we wouldn’t scream back at our bosses or at our fathers when we were five years old, if something happened, where we felt threatened or hurt or scared, maybe we wouldn’t punch them, but our animal body would want to because we want to protect ourselves in a situation of abuse or some other scary situation, and in those moments where we didn’t do that, and we chose to freeze up instead or become paralyzed, our body does this to protect ourselves from further danger, and we just hope that it will end and go away, but the thing about that is that anytime we’ve had that experience, that shutdown mode lives in our body, and our body still can be in that shutdown mode from years and decades ago, and in fact, even through the ancestry, the shutdown response from someone else in your lineage can get passed down into your nervous system, into your DNA.

Candice Wu 24:23

So, time doesn’t much matter here. The nervous system is responding to safety or lack of safety and danger. So, it will freeze until it realizes its safety, and even though our mind knows that we’re safe right here, now, our body has to know it, too, and it has to go through the process of completing what it needs to in order to feel that it is safe, and to the primitive body that’s typically some action that protects us self by running, fighting, pushing, moving, yelling, biting, all of those very basic ways of protecting ourselves come into play. So, when you’re feeling certain symptoms of this dorsal vehicle response, it’s a chance to notice, “Oh, my body is feeling really unsafe, and needs to find safety.” And perhaps there’s something showing itself in terms of previous trauma or something I’m going through right now, that makes my body feel like it isn’t safe.

Candice Wu 25:39

So, what are the signs of dorsal vagal or tonic immobility in our body, the frozen state? As I mentioned, this state is about self-preservation. So, the body might freeze or become immobile or paralyzed like you can’t really quite take the next step. The body feels very heavy, like heavy in a way that can’t move very well or rigidity starts to happen in the body, tension, and constriction. You might notice yourself feel dissociated, separate from your body or not quite here, a numbness, a feeling of disconnection or overwhelm.

Candice Wu 26:28

You might feel dizzy or spacey, a loss of words, inability to comprehend or taking information, your digestive and reproductive systems may go offline and shut down, so you may feel lack of sexual desire, feel indigestion, bloatedness, you may feel nauseated, want to throw up or spontaneously urinate or defecate, the heart rate, blood pressure, facial expressions, and immune system responses may decrease. So, that’s the conservation mode, and at the same time, you may feel extremely exhausted and fatigued, a difficulty moving or doing anything, an apathy, perhaps hopelessness, shame, a sense of feeling trapped, disconnected from the world are withdrawing, and in the state our brain has decreased metabolism so that causes challenges in comprehension and thinking, making decisions, our body awareness decreases, and it may take a lot of pressure or impact for our body to feel anything or feel much, and we have a decreased ability to create narrative memories.

Candice Wu 28:09

We might feel a little or no pain, our lungs might constrict and we breathe slower, the vision may feel blurry or not clear, fuzzy, blank, fixed or spaced out, and sleep may be disrupted as well as the body posture, our body may want to curl up and collapse in a ball. On the other hand, have the inability to think critically or process in our minds, our mind also may get stuck on certain thoughts. So, in a panic state of flight response, our body gets flooded with the energy to mobilize us to move, and if we get to move and complete that ability to protect ourselves, we feel okay, we feel good, but if it doesn’t, then that energy can go up, and we might start to rationalize and think about things, and we might take a meaning about ourselves and the world. That, if it gets left there, it may feel like a permanent fixture of who we are, and we move about the world believing this and our actions reflect that.

Candice Wu 29:29

And so, those thoughts may run itself or linger in the state of freeze. So, if we get into this state, and this can happen when you’re in a therapy session that your body just starts going into that place where you have no emotions separate from the experience, numb, that may mean that your body is in a free state, and in a way, in a big way, that is retraumatizing to them nervous system because it can just get stuck again. But in another way, if it feels okay to navigate it and you have the tools or support, it’s a great place for your nervous system to learn a new way and not get stuck again, so it can bring healing. So, the idea is to support the nervous system in shifting out of dorsal vagal navigating dorsal vagal and shifting out into ventral vagal, which is our survival.

Candice Wu 30:33

Social engagement is vital to our survival, and it gives us a sense of safety and calming when that engagement is safe, when that engagement has compassion and an observing witness. So, when we’re in this state just to name the opposite of dorsal vagal and freeze, this ventral vagal state is where our immune system is healthy, and we are able to feel in our bodies, we can feel a normal kind of happiness or openness, peace, contentment, and even curiosity about life, we feel possibilities, we feel flexible and movable, we’re sleeping wow and eating normally, and we can relate to others, connect to our emotions, be empathic to others, and listen, we feel grounded.

Candice Wu 31:32

So, neither of these are fixed states, we are constantly in flux, navigating our bodies and our experience through how our nervous system is responding, and responding to our environment and our internal container of trauma experiences that have accumulated and what we perceive personally as triggering, activating or threatening. So, your system can move in and out of these states, and ideally, we have the flexibility and capacity to move through each of these states and navigate all of those states so that we can feel okay in ourselves. And to be clear, if we have unresolved trauma in our past, which most people do, even little things and when I say trauma, it means something incomplete, where nervous system and body wanted to do something to protect ourselves but we didn’t or couldn’t. And if we have unresolved trauma in our lineage, then we may be living in some version of fight or flight perpetually or in a numbness or shut down or as deep as depression.

Candice Wu 32:53

So, the dorsal vagal freeze response in the nervous system, if it gets stuck, can turn into depression. In Chinese medicine, the liver channel connects with our desire and what we want, and the movement towards what we want and giving life to ourselves, and if that gets disrupted, liver and gallbladder relate to each other, gallbladder making decisions and taking action. If that gets disrupted, then we have depression, and that relates exactly to this system from Somatic Experiencing where if there was something we instinctively wanted to do or wanted and didn’t receive it or couldn’t do it, then our system gets disrupted, too. And if we don’t resolve that, then it stays, it lingers, and it becomes our state of being of depression or sometimes we’ve even called that our personality, and yet, these are just various nervous system responses getting stuck.

Candice Wu 34:04

So, I want to shift gears into supporting yourself when you have this overwhelm in your nervous system or shut down, and how to support yourself to move out of it, to navigate it, and to even heal at a deeper level. So, before we go to the 12 different tools I have for you today, I want to talk about what happens when you come out of freeze state. If you freeze water, and you let it fall out, it melts, and it comes back to the state that it was in before it froze.

Candice Wu 34:45

So, just like that, whatever state we were in, whatever happened or feeling state, and sensations stay in our body we had before our nervous system felt it was too much. Then when we saw out, when we come back in our bodies, when we come back to safety, the nervous system will touch back into what it was before you went into freeze, to begin with. Sometimes, that’s a big emotion and sensation in the body, and sometimes it’s not. There’s an easy way to move through this if you pendulate, which I’ll talk about later, easing in and out of that experience, safety into challenge, but if you think about it, if you can’t fight or run, then you play dead. And so, when you come out of playing dead, just like the gazelle it’s going to fight or run, it’s going to want to do that because that’s the energy loaded up into the system, and where it stored that energy up to be used later and couldn’t be used at that moment, then later it will come online, and that energy will be present to be used to move the body.

Candice Wu 36:11

So, in the simplest way, your body might experience anger or anxiety or other emotions that overloaded the system right before going into a free state. So, be prepared for that and I don’t mean to scare anyone, but just know and understand that emotions will come and see what ways you can support yourself with that. And what we’re also doing is activating body memory so your body holds implicit memory. That’s information that you may or may not be conscious of. Usually, we’re unconscious of it, and when we touch into the body and the experience, and the emotional state, we are activating that body memory, and that can be timeless. So, it might not have been the thing that just happened literally in this five minutes before you got into another state but it could be what happened in your childhood or as I mentioned, what happened in the lineage getting touched on, and if you believe in a past life, it can touch on what happened in a past life.

Candice Wu 37:30

I talked about a couple of past life experiences of mine in the podcast at CandiceWu.com/past-life-trauma as well as CandiceWu.com/deepmystery and CandiceWu.com/deepmystery2. So, those are three different podcasts, and you can see where implicit memory was being drawn up in my body where I didn’t know about what it was, but my body was showing it and the emotions were there, and it revealed itself. So, the storyline might not be there, but it’s held in the cells of your being, of your body. And if your body doesn’t know safety in this moment and feel it, that memory, that information will live there until safety is found. What we’re also doing when we’re helping the body to find its way out of a frozen state is we’re helping the body expand the capacity of experiencing, and to not override through it and keep tripping that system that throws you into numbness or overwhelm.

Candice Wu 38:40

So, a key principle here is to provide yourself and your body with what it didn’t have before, when a traumatic experience happened. You may not know what those things are, but we can probably make guesses because it’s often that someone wasn’t there, time wasn’t there, there was something that we didn’t get, or there was a certain kind of safety that wasn’t there.

Candice Wu 39:12

So, let’s jump into the 12 things that we can do when our body feels this level of overwhelm. Number 1 is — “You can orient.” You can just take a moment and notice your surroundings, and look especially at things that feel pleasurable to look at. We naturally do this when we are in a ventral vagal state where we actually feel safe, we’re able to look around and take in what’s around us, we might be looking for a mate or food or possibility, but we can see pleasurable things around us, and we’re also alert to what might be dangerous if danger comes. Animals do that, too. So, it’s like a cat or dog coming to a space and checking it out, sniffing it out, and making sure it’s safe here.

Candice Wu 40:18

If you’d like a guided experience on orienting which is a Somatic Experiencing technique or tool, I have a guided audio on that, in the podcast conversations with the body. You can find that at CandiceWu.com/conversationswiththebody or ep82, and just scroll down to the experiences and you’ll find the one on orienting. That’ll also be linked in the show notes here today.

Candice Wu 40:49

Number 2, the second thing you can do to come down from a freeze state is — “Touch your body.” Touch your body from head to toe slowly to feel your touch, feel your body and feel what kind of touch would be soothing. It might be light and gentle touch or with pressure, but taking your awareness to how it feels that you can touch your body here and remind your body of its container of your safety. There’s also a guided experience that takes you deeper into that on the episode at CandiceWu.com/alignment or /ep47. It’s the experiential called Grounding Touch and Listening to Next Steps.

Candice Wu 41:43

A third thing you can do is — “Recognize that you are alive and safe right now, and tune in and touch into those very basic things that tell you you are alive.” And that might be noticing that you are safe and in a safe place at the current moment, and that is if you are, it might be noticing that you have food. If you do have food, it might be noticing if you have a place to sleep, and this will be one of the experiential this week. So, tune in later this week for a guided experience on this.

Candice Wu 42:28

Number 4, the fourth thing you can do is — “Connect in your mind with a safe person.” If you open to a person who brings you a feeling of safety, love, peace or groundedness, someone who’s been there for you before, and you can separate any times that this relationship has felt conflictual, but try to find one that is the least conflictual you can. That can be with a person, an animal, a spiritual figure, nature or a symbol. So, we’re resourcing anything that could feel safe for you. I have two healing experientials that you can tune into if you’d like support with that, and the first is at CandiceWu.com/emotions, the meditation on resourcing emotional safety and healing trauma, and the second one is loving kindness, and that one is episode 65d, so d is the fourth experiential in Untangling Love part two, that’s at CandiceWu.com/ep65. And again, all of these will be listed on the show notes, so you can just go to the webpage at CandiceWu.com/overwhelm, and you can find all those there.

Candice Wu 44:06

The fifth thing you can do is — “Be with a safe person or animal or be in a safe place in real life.” But while you’re being with that person, notice how it is to experience their support, what it is that supports you and let your body receive that feeling, and slow down so that it can register to your awareness and into your body, and that leads to tool number six, which is — “Slowing down.” In Somatic Experiencing, they call it titrating, so, allow yourself to slow down your experience of whatever it is you’re doing or wherever you’re at, and just notice what’s happening.

Candice Wu 44:55

The seventh tool is called — “Pendulation” that’s also from SE, Somatic Experiencing, and that is to go back and forth between safety and the challenging experience that you’re having or even the numbness or whatever freeze state experience you have. So, pendulation is to sense into a breath or two or 30 seconds, whatever amount of time of a safe person or something that helps you feel pleasure, as we talked about earlier, and the other tools, and then to pause and go into challenging emotion or the state that you’re feeling already right now, and back and forth, back and forth. And just to notice and track what happens as you go back and forth, and allow your nervous system to dip into safety and feel more embodied each time. You can find a guided experience on that at episode 24, CandiceWu.com/ep24, which is the episode on emotions and how to navigate your emotions.

Candice Wu 46:17

Tool number eight is — “Using movement to support you.” Some people like to use shaking, just literally stand up, shake your whole body for a couple of minutes. Let the body move. It’s like shaking up stuck energy so that it starts to flow. You can also ask your body if there’s a place that could move. where would it begin? Which part of my body can move? If it’s your eyes or a pinky finger or your hair, if you imagine your hair moving, your knees, which part of your body can move? And as you let that movement happen, slowly and let the body feel that and integrate that, and see what that allows for or what you start to feel as that happens. You can also tune into organic body movement farther than that by just imagining if my body could move, what would it do? How would it want to move and just imagining that, see what your body feels, what sensations or emotions, and if you let it move, then what happens?

Candice Wu 47:42

Tool number nine is one that I did when I felt dizzy that day, is — “Letting your body run.” And you can drag in place or you can run across a room or a field, any place that feels safe for you, but as you run, slow it down so slow, that you can feel every little part of your body move, even your arms, your toes, your calves. And as you run, visualize running towards safety, whatever that means for you, whether that’s a safe place, person, thing or situation. And when you get there, imagine receiving exactly what you need, whether or not you know exactly what you need. Imagine receiving whatever it is that you need to feel safe when you arrive there or connect with the safe person, place or thing that’s there. This will also be one of the experiential this week. So, tune in later this week for a longer guide of that.

Candice Wu 49:04

And tool number 10 is — “To reveal or allow anger.” Eventually, you can practice more Somatic Experiencing techniques and being in the body or even self-defense or martial arts, and you can tune into the anger episode for some ideas about moving through that, and that’s at CandiceWu.com/anger. Tool number 10 is practicing assertiveness. So, feel into your ability to choose and move, right when you are feeling that numbness, do the opposite. Do something assertive, do something doable, manageable, and let yourself be in the witness of your experience as you do it.

Candice Wu 49:57

And the 12th tool I have for you today is also going to be an experiential later this week, and it’s — “Tuning into a moment in the last couple of days or day that you felt like yourself or where you felt okay or where you felt like you were alive.” And backtracking if you can’t find anything in the last couple of days, look into the last couple of weeks or the last month or two or even as far as couple of years if you’ve been in this state of stuckness for a while, touching in and making contact with the last time you felt okay or like yourself or pleasure touching into that allow your body to experience what it’s like right now to remember that, and sometimes, there’s a spontaneous breath or a little bit of ease that begins to happen or as I said earlier, other emotions might come through because your body starts to feel safe again.

Candice Wu 51:13

In this experiential that I’ll guide later this week, I’ll guide you to feel into a couple of different points where you felt okay or like yourself, and then a time that you experienced a challenge but got through it, which can help your nervous system be reminded of your strength and ability to get through life and that you did get through it, and noticing our current challenge. These are also tools from Somatic Experiencing.

Candice Wu 51:47

So, those are the 12 different tools I wanted to offer you today, to support yourself in your nervous system coming out of freeze state, and also feeling safety, even before your body becomes overwhelmed if you start to notice little signs of it or that you’re getting to that threshold, it’s a great thing to do to support your body and feeling that safety before you get there, and to come down from that event. And as I mentioned earlier, be prepared for any emotions or body sensation or experience that comes out of, comes through with coming back to a little bit of safety, because when your body finds that safety again and understands it, integrates it, the emotions that didn’t get to be felt or the sensation and impulse that didn’t get to be had, will want to be had, maybe at work or in the middle of something and you don’t really have time to go through all of your nervous system responses that want completion, but recognize you may be feeling those as you come back into your body and come back online.

Candice Wu 53:10

You might start to notice gurgling or burping or a different kind of breath come through. All of these are signs of healing, and signs that your body’s coming back online, that the ventral vagal response is coming back online and your body’s feeling a little safer, and it’s a good time to use any of these tools to continue that safety. I wrote a blog post about how the body tells you that healing is happening, and it’s a list of several ways that your body shows you the signs that healing is going on in your body, is moving towards coming back online or healing even though it might not feel like it. You can find that in the show notes, and also, at CandiceWu.com/tinyhealingsteps.

Candice Wu 54:09

So, this was a lot of information today, and sometimes when people hear this information, their body starts to go numb, and they feel a little fuzzy, and that state of freeze starts to take over because we’re even talking about it, and if that is you, tune into the experientials that are later this week. Rewind to a couple of the tools that were mentioned here today that sounded like they might help you, and just try them. Be curious and open, and see what touching your body might do, even if you think it’s one of the most basic things and it is, and that is touching into the basic needs of our primal body, our animal body.

Candice Wu 54:58

With these tools, I have felt so much more embodiments and grounding, and feeling empowered even because the state of freeze does bring that same physiology as shame. It’s this collapse, it’s like I can’t do it, and it comes with lots of thoughts. It’s something that I didn’t talk too much about in the list of signs of overwhelm, but that is a major one where if you start to think a lot and think these really negative thoughts about yourself or the world, and you even might know that these aren’t really true, but they just can’t leave your mind, that is where the energy of the fight and flight response goes upward instead of out the lens we have, because that energy doesn’t have much other place to go, it goes upward into the mind, and so the gut in the polyvagal system informing the mind and feeding these thoughts, but the thoughts relate to the meanings we’ve taken on and the filter through which we see, we particularly see the world and ourselves, and so, it can bring on the worst of the worst there, because, in the states where we thought we weren’t going to survive or that we needed to shut down to survive, there was something going on that made us feel so threatened, and those thoughts can stay with us, the meanings that we took about ourselves can stay with us from there.

Candice Wu 56:35

That is also a sign that something in our experience wants completion and wants renegotiation, because we have thoughts that are negative about ourself or the world, and other sign includes thoughts that are negative about yourself and overthinking everything and thinking about things so much that you’re not quite in your experience in your body, in yourself. So, I encourage you to use this information to have more compassion for yourself, mainly to notice and understand that if you’re in this experience of feeling paralyzed or feeling numb or experiences of shame or worthlessness that may be a part of a freeze state, and there are ways to support yourself in moving through that. And if you notice other people withdrawing or shutting down, there may be a place to build connection and understand what they’re going through when they have that experience.

Candice Wu 57:44

I’m really looking forward to sharing these experientials with you, and so there are three, as I mentioned earlier, out of these 12 tools, there are three that’ll be experientials, and the first one’s going to be on tuning into the basic safety, feeling that your body is alive, and letting that thing get. The second one will be times you feel like yourself or feel okay, and a time you got through a challenge and letting that be a resource to you, letting the body experience and remember how it is to feel this way. And that third one is the running, visualizing what’s needed, and finding safety, and that is skipping into, straight into having that flight experience but letting yourself arrive into a safe place. So, one day when we talk about anxiety, the flight response, this one will connect with that.

Candice Wu 58:45

I hope you find some of these tools just as helpful as they have been for me, and I will say there have been times in my life where I felt I was doing so much healing and certain things were coming up to the surface, so, in such a big way, like if you’ve been listening to the podcast, when I had the existential crisis experience, spiritual crisis or even other times where something came up, and I just felt overwhelmed with emotion, these tools have helped me so much to feel grounded again. I will not underestimate the power of our ability to imagine and to move, and to use these very basic simple things to support us, but it also will say, I didn’t know how to do this on my own. I learned this completely with support, and I have no idea what it would be like, really, to try practicing that on my own and seeing if it made a difference, and in fact, I might not have enough ability at that time when I was learning these things, to be able to support myself because a big part of our healing comes from connection with other people and our ability to let our nervous system co-regulate with other people, with people that feel safe in their bodies.

Candice Wu 1:00:12

So, if you’re trying this at home by yourself and it’s not working, so to say, give it a little more time, see if you do it again or a couple of times in a week. Try it every day with or without the audio, and also, connect with someone about it. Connect with a professional that’s informed about trauma healing and the nervous system, from the scientific perspective. Connect with someone who can hold the space for this in an informed way. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions or want the support in a healing experience, and wishing you and your bodies so much compassion and love and support.

Candice Wu 1:01:03

Thank you so much for tuning in today, and I want to end with something light, gosh, what what what? Okay, I’ve got it. It is from an email I received from LifeWorks Psychotherapy Center. I love the people at LifeWorks, and I’m connected with them there in Chicago. So, shout out to all of you at LifeWorks, and this is a selection of a poem from Anna McDonald, it’s called AfroPunk by Cameron Awkward-Rich, and he is a trans person of color who has published two poetry collections, and here is the poem.

Candice Wu 1:01:44

“A mosh pit is not the same as dancing It’s more like a cat thrown into an ocean of sweat and elbows And any choreography that follows is just an animal trying to stay alive. In middle school even the cool kids wear their bodies like clothes that don’t quite fit But me, I’ve never been cool as I was in eighth grade Never wore my skin so well as that year I discovered white boys and black eyeliner and that violence they called a dance. But when punk be black, when it be a girl throwing herself into a riot of white It’s not cause she needs a lesson in survival, there’s the whole world for that But goddamn, if the bullet has to leave one chamber to fill another If the girl has to be split and split And the boy riddled with stars And if the world must go on If our blood must kiss the concrete, let the first time be an act of love Let it be a wedding song and not a funeral And if pain be unavoidable, let it first be a pain we choose Let us learn how far our bodies can ride it, before the music cuts out.” ~ “Afropunk” by Cameron Awkward Rich

Candice Wu 1:03:01

And with that, I’ll leave you with a little music. This would actually be number 13 of the tools of coming out of numbness, for me at least is listening to music that really brings me alive. So, here’s just a little bit of music for you, as we close today.

Candice Wu 1:03:19

Thanks so much for joining me on the Embody Podcast, and if you’d like to stay in touch, read self-love notes, connect with other healing experientials and guests on the podcast. Find me on my newsletter at CandiceWu.com/embody.

Introduction

This experiential offers a very basic tool to support your body and nervous system in feeling more safety in releasing overwhelm, depression, trauma or dissociation or when you feel stuck and anxious. It can also help to build your capacity and your resilience for whatever it is you’re doing in life.

For a long time, I did not even know that I was overriding and pushing my body beyond the limits of it, beyond the signs of my body saying, “You’re overwhelmed, we’re overwhelmed, we are stressed.”

And we just call stress, stress, and without naming it more specifically what’s going on. We can just dismiss it in a way or we can apply some very generalized way of trying to relieve the stress.

Through Somatic Experiencing from Peter Levine, I learned that if we’re addressing the very specific ways that our body is stressed, especially when it’s saying, “I don’t feel safe,” then we can really heal at the root of that and begin to develop a new baseline in ourselves that feels calmer, more alert, and more available for the daily stuff of our lives and the things we want to do.

Sometimes, I had no idea I was pushing an overriding the signals of my body until I would do things like this exercise or do a little bit of yoga or something else that brought me down to a new level of relaxation — until I realized that new level I didn’t, I had no idea I was even feeling that stress, that overwhelms.

Nervous System Understanding

If you want to learn more about what happens to the nervous system, and how it affects our bodies when we’re feeling overwhelmed, paralyzed, shut down, dissociated or depressed, and what happens in the healing process, the process of shifting that, check out the introductory episode to this experiential where I talk about the many signs of nervous system overwhelm, 12 things that you can do to support and heal overwhelm, trauma and depression, and a bit of Polyvagal theory and Somatic Experiencing to help us understand and be more compassionate to how our body is responding, and being in the world.

You can find that episode at CandiceWu.com/overwhelm.

So, now, let’s jump into this experiential, which is one of three experientials.

The other two involve tuning into resource and strength, and in the main episode, the introductory episode, I also list several other healing experientials that I’ve offered in the past that you can tune into, plug into, and you can also search all those on my website at CandiceWu.com/meditations.

This particular experiential is something that truly helps me even though it felt so basic, over time, I began to sink deeper and deeper into it, and my body felt new levels of feeling safe.

I was able to feel more in connection with the very essentials of life, and the core of what I’m doing here in the world, and how I’m being in the world and it gave me a lot of pleasure to just do the very basic things.

Why Noticing Being Alive Helps, if it Isn’t Obvious!

So, this experiential is about tuning into very basics of how you know you’re alive, and how important that is to our bodies to register that we are alive, we are breathing, and we have a plethora of things in our lives that support that.

And for you, it may be different from me or from the next person, but I’d like you to notice those things in this experience.

So, if there are things that I say, in terms of what we’re tuning into that don’t make sense for you, please feel free to change it and just leave behind respectfully what doesn’t fit for you.

Let’s Practice Together

Feel free to find a comfortable way to be, whether that’s sitting, standing or lying down.

Even if you’re in transit, this is something you can do, and I would not particularly recommend it if you’re driving, but if you’re on a public transit that is taking you without your effort, that’s okay.

So, as you’re right here with me today, begin to notice your breathing and let it be just the way it is as if your body is breathing you.

Begin to notice where your mind is, and allow yourself to disconnect from the things that your mind may be thinking or from where you’ve been placing your attention, releasing your connection, and your attention on all those things of the past, and anywhere that your mind is placed in the future or to-do-lists or worries.

For now, just let go of your attention on these things.

You can begin wherever you are, however you are.

You don’t have to clear your mind, but just releasing the grip on thinking about these things as much as you can, and feeling your breathing right here and now

Breathing

As you’re feeling your breath, you might say to yourself or notice that I have breath. I can breathe.

Sometimes, it’s uncomfortable to notice your breath or to notice your body.

Just take note if that’s happening for you

I Am Alive

When you’re ready, shift to the awareness that, “I am alive. I am here and I’m alive.”

You might notice in what ways can you tell you’re alive.

What evidence do you have that your body is alive?

That may be your breath, it may be that you can feel your heart or your blood moving, maybe that you can feel the weight of your body, that you can hear things around you or inside.

It may be that you can see, see things around you, see your body or that you can smell or touch, and feel free to do any of those things that support you in deepening in that awareness that, “I am alive.”

Notice what it’s like to be in your body as you acknowledge that you’re alive.

Slow things down a little and track what’s going on on the inside.

Notice the parts of you that feel more connected with safety, calm or peace, and be aware that as you connect in this way, other feelings that are uncomfortable or challenging might also come up.

As you’re feeling safer, the nervous system recognizes that it’s safe to feel, safer to feel and I show you some of the feelings that have been waiting for you to notice inside, and feel free to take a break anytime.

Are You Safe Right Now?

Notice if it is true right now for you: I am safe.

Perhaps that means that nobody’s hurting you right now or that you’re not in danger.

Sometimes, we may not feel safe on the inside, but to acknowledge the very physical and concrete things that let us know we’re safe can support our nervous system in feeling safer.

So, if that rings true for you, notice the words and the feeling that come with: I am safe.

Other Basics

Now, notice if any of these are true for you: I have food.

Notice what that feels like to acknowledge in yourself, that very basic need: I have shelter. That is if you do have it.

Perhaps you might notice:

I have freedom

or I have loved ones

or I have myself.

Only focus on the ones that you truly do have that you can acknowledge and feel some gratitude for.

Perhaps, honoring that you have some of these basic needs that support you in being alive, and take a moment to acknowledge any other things that you feel are included in that very basic need of being alive and being safe that support you now in acknowledging.

And if any one of these, that we’ve named or you’ve named, really touch you right now or support you in that connection with safety, feel free to focus on that, now.

Let your body deepen into sinking up with that knowing with that awareness.

Notice the sensations inside, your emotions, how your breath might change over time, any movements in your body that are happening, and also any images that come up in your mind.

Here, take as long as you need.

Closing

Feel free to come back into your space, into the world around you whenever you feel ready, giving your body any sort of movement or touch that it would like.

If your eyes were closed at all, take your time to open them when it feels right, feeling your presence here.

Notice your surroundings and feel any shift in yourself, whether that’s an opening towards calm and relaxation, and safety in terms of a peaceful feeling or in terms of an uncomfortable feeling that’s coming up because your body and nervous system may feel a little safer.

And here, I’ll leave you with a little music as you transition to support your body in feeling here and feeling safe, as much as possible in this moment.

Thanks for joining me on the Embody Podcast, and be sure to tune in to the other two experientials at CandiceWu.com/overwhelm.

Introduction

This healing experiential is to support you feeling like yourself, to support the release of overwhelm, depression, anxiety, to support grounding, and your nervous system capacity as well as to tune you into your resource, resilience, and strength.

We will be tuning into times where you felt like yourself, a time that you got through a challenge, and noticing a current challenge. All of this to support the nervous system in remembering how it is to feel like yourself and to bring safety.

This healing experiential is brought to you by Somatic Experiencing practices and one that I learned from my teachers, particularly from Bianka Hardin, one of my supervisors who has learned from many other teachers in the Somatic Experiencing world.

This experiential is one that I have found incredibly helpful, and it is something that you can just take a few minutes and do.

We will take a little longer in this experience together, in this guided way, but you can do this on your own by just taking one minute to tune in to one of these aspects that will bring up today and feeling them in your body.

It’s incredible how many much we can support ourselves in whatever we’re doing in life, in feeling more at ease and safe by just doing something simple like this.

This is one of three healing experientials that connect with the episode around Nervous System Overwhelm: Polyvagal Theory, Noticing the Signs of Overwhelm and 12 Tools Towards Healing Trauma, Depression, Shut Down and Overwhelm.

You can find the full episode at CandiceWu.com/overwhelm, and all of the experiences that go with it.

Taking A Moment Can Make A Difference

I know there are times for me where I felt like I’m so busy that I came and take a moment to feel my body or to feel okay or to support myself, and I’m really grateful that those times are generally over in my life because doing this kind of experience that I’ll lead you through here, doing these kinds of experiences over and over, and supporting my nervous system in downshifting, and feeling at ease and calm has greatly shifted my entire life.

And so, taking a moment to support myself has brought me closer to how I want to be in the world, and how I want to treat myself and how I can love myself. So with that, I hope this experiential gives you support in whatever it is that you need to feel grounded, okay, and safe.

Practice and Prep

I would recommend doing this healing experience when you’re not operating any heavy machinery or driving.

If you’re in public transit, that might be okay, but if you’re in a private space, in the comfort of your own home or a space that feels good to you, that would be the best.

So, allow yourself to be in your body in a way that feels good, whether that’s sitting, standing or lying down or in any body position that’s right for you. You can keep your eyes open or close them, whatever feels the safest for you.

Sometimes, when we tune into resource or good moments like we will hear today, your body might feel a level of safety that brings up uncomfortable emotions because it feels safe.

So, if that happens for you, feel free to stay with it as much as it feels okay, and when it does feel overwhelming, we’re nearing too much, nearing overwhelm, take a break, just pause the podcast or stop or just listen to the sound of my voice or look around you and look at something that’s comforting. Touch your body. We are talking about overwhelm here.

So, we don’t want to use the healing process that also pushes you into overwhelm by pushing it a little too far.

Even if you know you can handle that emotion, sometimes it’s not the most healing thing to plow through it, in terms of what your nervous system might really need to feel safer.

So, as you find a comfortable position and you deepen into yourself, into your body, just take a few breaths to let yourself fully arrive here, and take a pulse check or inventory of what’s going on inside, any emotions, sensations, where your mind is, your thoughts, how your body feels, what it’s like to be in your body right now.

Five Touchpoints

And now, we’ll touch into five different aspects of memory and time, and then we’ll spend a little more time at the end with one of them of your choice.

First: Last Few Days So, let’s begin by tuning into in the last few days, the last time you felt like yourself.

So, just opening your awareness without any pressure, without expectation, just curiosity: when was the last time I felt like myself in the last few days? This can be a very simple or small moment or it can be a bigger one.

A small moment might be like when you had a cup of tea or you’re brushing your teeth or waking up with your head on your pillow or something else like checking a text from a loved one, connecting with a friend or putting on your PJs, eating something, looking at the window, doing an activity like, anything where you felt like yourself or even okay or you might have felt safe or loved or at ease.

So, notice that moment and if you haven’t found it yet, feel free to just pause the experience and take more time, and if you have found just one moment, dip into that moment, making contact to experience what it was like and what it’s like right now in your body to notice that moment.

Second: The Last Week

And now, we’ll shift into the second one and we can come back to this one if you’d like to at the end.

Now, shifting to open up time a little bit more to the last week: when was a time in the last week you felt like yourself, okay, at peace, safe or loved or even neutral?

And when you have that moment, touch into it and feel the visceral quality of what happens in your body as you recall this memory.

Notice your breathing, the sensations inside, emotions or movement. See yourself in that moment where you were, what it is you’re doing.

Third: The Last Two Weeks or Longer

Now, let’s touch into a third moment, opening up to the last two weeks to a month or even longer of a time in the last two weeks to a month or longer where you felt like yourself or you felt safe, peaceful, neutral or okay, where you felt pleasure.

Be curious about what comes up in your memory bank and what comes to you.

When you have that one moment, then picture that moment and make contact with the feeling sense that happens in this moment as you touch in.

Fourth: Notice A Challenge You Got Through

And in the next few breaths, we’ll shift gears to noticing a time in your entire life, anytime in your life where you had a challenge, and you got through it, where there may have been a very difficult situation or an uncomfortable situation, big or small and you got through it.

Notice that situation or memory of this time, and the moment that you recognize that you get through it.

And with this, also tune into where you were, what time of your life it was, perhaps even what season it was and how the weather was.

Who was around you? How did you feel when you got through it?

And how do you feel now in your body as you are aware of this difficult situation that you got through?

Notice any tiny little thing that your body does differently like a deeper breath and emotion that shifts or breaks open, release intention, a movement that feels more fluid, any feeling of spaciousness or peace or an uncomfortable emotion that moves and wants to be seen.

Fifth: Notice a Challenge in the Present

And with the next few breaths, let’s shift gears into the fifth moment.

The fifth moment is noticing a current challenge that you’re in, something that’s presently unresolved, incomplete or difficult for you, stressful or where you’re not sure of how the outcome is going to be, and that gives you discomfort.

Take a little taste of experiencing this difficult challenge at the moment, whether it’s seeing it from a distance or dipping a little deeper in, closer in, to the feeling sense as you bring it closer to you.

Take note of what it feels like in your body, what emotions come up, what your body wants to do, what you desire.

And as you’re ready, release your attention on that experience, noticing a few more breaths to clear the palate, so to say, of your attention.

Choose One To Deepen Into

And now, we come to the part of the experience where you’re free to choose one of these five moments that we touched into, and don’t worry if you didn’t have one for any of these.

Use what you have, and also, notice the experience of this, the process of this for you. And out of the five things that we touched into, choose one of those to connect with a little more time here.

Again, those five things were the last time you felt like yourself, pleasure, peaceful or okay in the last couple of days, in the last week, in the last two to four weeks or longer, a time that you got through a challenge, and a current challenge.

So, as you select which one of these five that you want to spend a little more time with, let yourself go right into that moment that you’re choosing.

Notice the setting of the experience, what’s around you, who’s there or involved, the whole image of this memory or if it’s the current challenge.

Notice the image that comes to you about it and deepen into the felt sense of whichever one of these you’ve chosen. Felt sense including the warmth or coolness of your body, in different places, tension or release, different sensations inside the body, emotions, movement, the energy of how you feel right now in this body, in this moment, as you call up this experience.

Notice your breathing and what changes as you stay with it.

Notice what happens next.

Take your time here to deepen even further.

Notice your whole body.

Let yourself move if there’s movement, and if it’s overwhelming it anytime, again, take a little break, and feel free to pause here if you’d like more time.

Release it All

And now, if you’re ready to just let go of whichever moment you chose, come back to your body in this moment, your breath.

If your eyes were closed, slowly open them just to look down at the ground or down wherever down is for you.

Start to notice your surroundings.

Feel free to touch your body in any way or notice how it already might be doing so, and stretch if you need it.

Take a moment to place your hand on your heart, if you’d like to, and thank yourself for connecting with these moments, to deepen into feeling like yourself, to expand your strength and resilience, to let your nervous system have this touching, to know its safety, trusting that this can support you in deepening your capacity over time.

Practice it Again

I encourage you to come back and do this perhaps, as I said, in a moment, like couple minutes, a day or while you’re at work or in the middle of something, you just take a break and touch into one of these moments, seeing how that shifts things for you or what you end up feeling as you do that or to come back to this whole experience and practice this over time.

Even practicing it every day for a week or two weeks or a month can be an extremely powerful exercise to support you in feeling those moments that truly allow you to feel yourself.

What began to happen for me is that I started to feel more present in the moments that were pleasurable to me as they were happening.

So, as we end and close today, I’ll leave you with a little bit of sound with the singing bowl that I got from Thailand. The first time I went about, I don’t know, seven years ago.

And we’ll close today, feel free to check out the other two experiences that go with this podcast, an episode on overwhelm and noticing overwhelm in the nervous system at CandiceWu.com/overwhelm.

Great to have you today and take care!

Introduction

This healing experiential is to support you in coming out of a nervous system overwhelmed state or where you feel depressed, where you have trauma or anxiety or you may be feeling dissociated, and to support you and feeling safer in your body and here.

This healing experience is something that I put together through my learnings of Somatic Experiencing, and it is not to replace having a Somatic Experiencing practitioner or another practitioner that supports trauma-sensitive healing or therapy but is to supplement your own experience to provide you with one option of how you might be able to feel safer in your body.

Doing this can bring up uncomfortable feelings that you may or may not feel prepared for.

If you're concerned about that, you can learn more about that process of the nervous system coming out of a frozen state or tonic and immobility state into fight or flight and coming down to a calmed, relaxed state in the episode that goes with this experiential called Nervous System Overwhelm: Noticing the Signs the Polyvagal Theory Basics, and 12 Tools Towards Healing Trauma, Depression, Shut Down and Overwhelm. That episode is at CandiceWu.com/overwhelm.

The Flight Response

So, in this healing experiential, we'll be working with supporting the body and feeling a level of safety that can bridge you into the next healing movement or to bring you a bit of sense of a grounding, calmness or support, and supporting the nervous system from coming out of a frozen state into feeling and being in the body.

In this experience, I will invite you to tune into the body's sense of needing to run towards safety, just like an animal would do if it were in fear and threat.

We don't always run in situations but our nervous system and the animal body inside of us may want to.

And so, if we give it to that, through imagining and through body movement, then the nervous system can feel like it completes that run towards safety, towards a place that feels safe for a person or a thing that feels safe, and therefore, it is safe or feels safer.

This healing experience is derived from the experience that many people have when they're in an anxious state or when they are coming out of their body being “shut down”, playing dead because it's overwhelmed or dissociated or paralyzed.

When it's coming out of that, it needs to complete a run, typically or a fight or something that can protect us when we're in a threat situation.

Oftentimes, if we let this happen organically through the process of working with the body and the nervous system and the felt sense, and the movements, the body might start to push on the toes or heels or move the feet naturally or tap.

If we follow that, in times where I've followed that or worked with clients to do that, sometimes the body really does want to run away, but when we have the experience of dissociation or frozen, numbness, any of the things I've listed, we can use a run to stimulate that process and to help the body come into a different level of safety. So, as I said, there's more on that in the intro podcast, but let's jump in here to this experience.

Support Your Body With A Break

Like all of the experiential that I offer, if you are starting to feel a little overwhelmed or towards overwhelm, pause the experience.

Take a break, release your attention on what we were doing and just touch your body or look around you, and look at something pleasant.

Do something that you know is comforting to your body.

There's no point in plowing through just to do the experience because the nervous system may find itself overwhelmed again, and perhaps feel in the same kind of trauma that it already was.

And when I speak to trauma, I mean something that's overwhelming to the nervous system that becomes stuck or undigested or incomplete.

Let’s Begin

So, here, I recommend sitting or standing, and at any time, you can sit or stand, change your position as you need to.

I don't recommend lying down because I want your body to be upright, and please don't do this experience if you're driving or operating any heavy machinery.

This is meant best for the privacy of your own home with a friend or healer or therapist that also understands trauma or is a personal practice.

As we begin, I'd like to invite you to imagine and be curious about what comes up for you.

Let’s Bring Safety to the Nervous System First : A Place to Run To

If you imagine a safe person, animal, place or thing, something that gives you the feeling that you're safe or at peace or loved or cared for or something that comforts you, and if none of those are working on for you, just something that feels okay or neutral.

If this is a challenge for you here, that's okay. Be open for yourself that something could reveal to you.

It could be a person who is dead or alive or someone you met just one or an animal that you imagine a place that you made up or a real place that you know an object that feels good to you, just allow the process of discovering what might be safe for you, be one that is unpressured and non-judgmental.

So, if you need to spend more time exploring that, feel free to pause and do so now, and if you have something and you're ready to move forward, let's continue.

Notice Your Feelings

So, tune into your body and feel if there's any part of you feeling anxious, heavy, overwhelmed, numb, depressed, paralyzed, like you can't move, or even sadness or any other difficult feelings.

If you're not feeling any of these and you're feeling just fine and safe, you can explore what doing this experience adds to your feeling, and if you are feeling any of those things, you can track what's happening here over the time and course of our experience together.

So, take this moment to feel your feet, feel what part of your body can touch the floor.

If you don't have feet or you have one or one leg, feel what you do have and or imagine more body parts that you might need in order to move.

So, feel what parts of your body do touch the floor.

If your feet are on the floor, toes, feel your ankles, feel the muscles that activate in order to create movement, and let the feeling register to your awareness, to your body, not just your mind but to your physical being.

Begin Moving Your Feet

Now, allow your feet to move like you are walking or like you're running, and you can do this sitting or standing.

If you're standing, you can jog in place or run around the room or walk around the room.

You can go at whatever pace feels right for you, and whatever pace you want to explore.

I would encourage you to explore going faster and feeling your muscles, your arms, your whole torso, your legs, feeling the movement, and if you're sitting or if you can't move in that way, imagine what it would be like to run and move.

Imagine that you're doing it, and let your feet tap or move in any way that they can, that your body can register that this could be happening.

If you're running quickly, now slow it down a lot to the point of like molasses, slow motion, and if you're sitting and doing this movement, do the same, nice and slow and easy.

In your mind, imagine how fast you might want to run right now, maybe jaguar speed or gazelle or any other speed that feels right based on how it is that you feel.

Imagine yourself running towards that safe person, animal, place or thing that you imagined in the beginning. Feel the journey towards the safe thing.

Feel the sensations in your body, in your arms and your legs, your feet, the pressure downwards.

Feel your breath.

See yourself get closer and closer to the safe person, animal place or thing, and let yourself arrive at your pace, and when you get there, you can stop running and rest. See the safe person, place, animal or situation or whatever you chose.

Imagine what it would feel like to be there with them or in this place receiving exactly what it is that you need to feel okay, to feel safe or to feel loved.

You get to make it up and design it yourself, receiving exactly what you need and what would be just right for you, and see what part of your body, your energy, your breath can receive that safety or care.

Feeling More Can Mean Your Body Feels Safer

Here, you aware, as I said earlier, that different emotions might come up When your body begins to feel safer, it can feel calm and peaceful but sometimes, tears may come, anger may come, sadness or other emotions may come.

That's a sign that your body is feeling a little safer. If you begin to feel like it's a little too much to tolerate, this is where you can take a break, doing so at any time.

Whatever is happening if you are staying with it, notice that and witness it without judgment, letting the sensation move through your body just the way it is, and imagining exactly what you need and desire in the safe place with this person or animal or situation.

Let your imagination support you in the very thing that would feel just right.

Now, notice any place in your body that is feeling, a deepening of safety, a reminder of safety or any place that feels okay or neutral, and it could be just a little spot or it might be a larger area.

It might show up in your breath or your emotions or the loosening of your body.

If you start to feel angry, and you're able to move through that yourself, feel free or if it's sadness, grief, loss or other emotions, feel free to stay with them as you can. If they are uncomfortable, beginning to be a little too uncomfortable, take that break.

You can also tune into the full episode of the podcast for other resources on how to come out of that overwhelm and to support more safety as well as the podcast on how to work with anger — if you'd like some suggestions.

And as you tune in to any place that feels okay, safe or neutral or good, let that deepen and expand.

Coming Back To NOW

As you begin to look around, if your eyes were closed at all, let them slowly open and see your present surroundings. Notice your vision and what that's like to see around you now.

Feel free to give a little touch to your body.

Notice any shifts or any difference in yourself, and also, notice what might be the same as when you began.

Stretch or move as you need as we come to a close of this experience today and if this was very challenging for you or you need more support, don't hesitate to reach out.

More Support

I'm happy to offer referrals or to work with you, myself or to answer any questions that may come up.

Feel free to use this experience anytime you are feeling the kind of numbness or overwhelm or not in your body, maybe depression, anxiety.

Be sure to also tune into the other experientials that go with this episode at CandiceWu.com/overwhelm, and the 12 tools that I have for you in that main episode that can support the process of moving through overwhelm, some very basic tools to support you in grounding and feeling safer.

Thanks so much for joining me today, and I leave you with a little music to transition, and see you next time on the Embody Podcast.

Candice Wu 0:00
In this episode is a conversation about the Amy Cooper and Christian Cooper video, racism and how it's been playing out in the U.S right now, the way my body expressed reactions and perceptions towards black people, and an experiential for you to open your own body-based exploration around people who are different from you.

Candice Wu 0:24
The Embody Podcast accompanies you on your journey of remembering and embodying your true nature, integration, and alignment with your vibrational clarity, self-love, and living a life of beauty and wholeness. It's a menu of transformative healing tools, experientials, meditations, and practices from a blend of Family Constellations, Somatic Therapies, and Holistic and Spiritual practices, sprinkled with vulnerable conversations with people who have the courage to be themselves, {alive now} Episodes with updates on my personal process and Reverie Episodes that are Spiritual succulents that honor, reveal, hug, shake or stir you into Love. I'm your host, Candice Wu, integrative and intuitive healing facilitator, and artist.

Candice Wu 1:24
Hi, everyone, welcome back.

Candice Wu 1:27
Today's episode is a deepening into the conversation around race wounds and hidden race wounds, racism, and how to work with this in the body.

Candice Wu 1:41
I talked a little bit about this already, including my personal experiences with some race wounds, both on the side of being the person holding a belief about someone that ended up hurting them and from the other side of feeling wounded or hurt.

Candice Wu 2:01
In that conversation was this opener, an invitation to look and to be with exactly what you feel. And to go into the deeper layers of what you experience and what you put upon others because of your own fears or because of looking good and doing what people call Performative Allyship, being an ally to people, like black people, perhaps, and just doing it for a pat on the back, and ignoring the deeper stuff that lives in your body that plays itself out.

Candice Wu 2:42
So that conversation started in that episode. You can find it at [CandiceWu.com/racewounds](https://CandiceWu.com/racewounds).

Candice Wu 2:50
It's your body that holds reactions and unconscious sentiments towards others that contribute to racism. And no matter who you are. If you're black, brown, white, yellow, every color or tone skin tone in between, going deeper into the dynamics of what's going on systemically means looking at your own body's reactions, along with any other actions that your heart feels called to take, if that's protesting, if that's speaking up, if that's donating money to organizations that are supporting black people or those that you feel you want to support. I suggest holding space for what's held in your own body and digesting it.

Candice Wu 3:41
If you don't involve your own body in healing racism or in your anti-racism efforts, it has a risk. Your support of Black Lives Matter or any other race movement, it has a risk of being only performative and not going deep enough or perpetuating the same underlying dynamics that you intend to shift, that you intend to be different. But because it's held in the unconscious of the body, it stays the same.

Candice Wu 4:12
There is an effect when we hold stuff that's living in our bodies. When you heal your body's experience and the unconscious lived experience, the world around literally changes. So I encourage you to build your own ability to respond to your own reactions and to respond in the world instead of reacting. This is your response-ability. And this is inner freedom. Inner freedom supports freedom for all.

Candice Wu 4:44
I promised I'd talk a little bit about Amy Cooper and Christian Cooper. And I think that's a great opening for this experiential that I want to offer today.

Candice Wu 4:55
So if you haven't seen the video with Amy Cooper and Christian Cooper, it might be interesting to look at that.

Candice Wu 5:04
What I witnessed was a white woman, Amy, calling the police on a black man who asked her to put a leash on her dog in New York City, in the park, and he was calm and anyway, I'm not going to describe all of it, you can watch the short clip. But what I want to highlight today, first is how extremely calm the black man was “Christian”. I'm amazed even I don't know if I would be able to handle it like that. And then secondly, how Amy, I kind of want to say just the white woman because this can apply to anybody, and it's really not about her personally. It can apply to me. Her reaction, I see, is because of trauma that maybe she doesn't know about. Her body flared up so much. And I can't assume what she felt. But I can see that her body was escalating and activated and her nervous system seemed to go haywire. She was yelling in a sort of uncontrolled way. And she weaponized calling the police against this man who — where it was totally not called for in that situation.

Candice Wu 6:41
And that's similar to what's happening with police officers. They're scared and they have a knee jerk reaction, or there's something else going on in this dynamic of their own lives and it's being taken out on a certain group of people, black people in particular, but people of other races, experiences too.

Candice Wu 7:08
So I don't want to exclude but I do want to be sensitive because right now is a strong time for listening and beholding space for black folks experience the space that hasn't been had and truly been acknowledging enough. And we would know that because it wouldn't exist if the society could hold enough space to honor respect and stand behind all people, especially black people.

Candice Wu 7:58
So this woman had this trauma response and this is not to excuse what she did. It is just to say that I think that's going on for a lot of people in the world and in the United States, that even with and now I'm not speaking about this woman, but in general, even with the best of intentions, we can still be holding these hidden pieces of ourselves that will have a threat response, a trauma response, given an experience with someone of another race in a particular circumstance, where that might not be proportionate to what's actually happening.

Candice Wu 8:51
And because this has happened for so long and reiterated itself, repeated itself over and over and over in many ways, in this country of the United States, and perhaps in other countries, it has become a place where we're on autopilot, we are numb and these protests are waking many people up.

Candice Wu 9:19
So in this experiential today, I invite you to get curious about what it is that happens in your body and to be honest with yourself, to see and feel what you feel, and to have the courage to allow whatever comes up to be part of your process, in looking at your own racism. Or, if you want to say it in different terms, the ways that your unconscious wounds and belief sets then you may keep down, can live out.

Candice Wu 10:07
The important idea here is Performative Allyship. It's when you ally with people that won't support, won't to stand by them and you do it for a pat on the back and not in a whole and embodied way looking deeper. And that's really dangerous because it's a way to avoid looking at the deeper stuff that we all have.

Candice Wu 10:46
I don't know maybe the Dalai Lama doesn't have it, I don't know. But I want to venture to say we all have something and you can listen to my episode about what I experienced. And those were just two examples out of many I've looked at in my life. Many places where I have seen myself have different responses in my body towards people who look different than me or who are different or people of a different race. And that means something, that does something when I don't acknowledge it.

Candice Wu 11:23
So it's important to know what's there and just own it, and be honest with yourself to do so, and to look at how that affects your interactions. It's not a time to put blame on yourself, but to be gentle, so that you can look. It's not a time to shame yourself, even though you may feel shame.

Candice Wu 11:54
So I'm talking to everyone, including myself. I'm not just talking to White people, how we feel in our bodies. When we see a person of another race, or of another, whatever, we perceive them as different. We have a reaction in our bodies. It may be one of welcoming and warmth. So see if that's there for you. It may be, I can't look, it's hard to look, it may be fear, it may be sadness because some memory gets triggered up from your ancestry through your body or your past life, wherever it came from.

Candice Wu 12:43
All of that affects how we interact with each other and what we ignore, what we look at, who gets seen, who doesn't? What part of you get seen and doesn't?

Candice Wu 13:04
And so here is an opening to deepen in your own personal responsibility, response-ability, the ability to respond, the ability to look and hold and be with your own reactions and respond.

Candice Wu 13:26
So if you would like to please jump into this experience with me, and you can have a pillow or some sort of object to support this process. I'm going to invite you to move around your space using that pillow or book or some sort of prop, even a piece of paper and you can write on it. And I'll let you know what this object or paper is going to represent in just a moment.

Candice Wu 14:00
If you are not in a space where you can do this physically, or you don't have enough privacy, say you're in transit or something, you can imagine this in your mind. I don't recommend doing this while you're driving though, so please find a comfortable, safe space.

Candice Wu 14:22
When I first began looking at my biases, reactions, perceptions, and beliefs around black people or about them, I was surprised to notice that I couldn't really look at them. I was afraid of their power actually. I had both an idealized view that they were like, all-powerful grounded beings who could dance, kind of like drum up their warriors' selves and dance it out in this way that I wish I could be. And that I might be like screamed at, that was the sense I got, that I might be screamed at by someone who is black, and I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Candice Wu 15:24
Well, the perception was that they were erratic or perhaps angry, uncontrollable and that scared me. The perceptions that I placed upon black people were more about me than anything else. They were about my childhood wounding where I could get screamed at and that was terrifying and some of that had not been digested and metabolized or integrated. They were about ancestral trauma, wounding from culture to culture through my ancestry that it was intergenerational, the history of black people and Chinese people against each other.

Candice Wu 16:10
They were also about the fear of my own power and fear of others being full in their power. That part of your own power is the freedom to stand up and speak your truth and be that warrior self. And if I could have it, that was scary, what that would be for me, and if others could have it, then my own reactions to that and what would I do with that, that was scary.

Candice Wu 16:40
So when we leave these perceptions, but not only perceptions, our body's responses, our wounding, our untouched wounds, stuck in time, it's like cobwebs and bones in your closet or in your kitchen and they are rotting, and they're creating this undertone. And that is the underlying foundation of systemic racism and violence. That is what can bubble up and fuel our interactions with people of different races or of difference. And we may not be aware of that.

Candice Wu 17:24
And when I did get more courage in myself to look and to feel that I really wanted to digest it, so that I didn't have that experience, and I wasn't putting that on black people around me and I did.

Candice Wu 17:49
I felt like a whole shift because when I would imagine looking at a black person or when I was actually in front of a black person, and I'm not saying all Black people. I'm saying ones that I don't know, or certain ones that maybe they dressed differently than White people, or Asian people around me. Or, they had a certain kind of attitude that I wasn't used to and I don't mean a bad attitude. I mean, like, they're sassy in a certain way. I couldn't look at them. I would – like – slink away or turn away. And I didn't even notice that response until I did.

Candice Wu 18:45
And so the experiential that I want to offer today is one of that kind of practice, to get to know if you haven't already, some of those reactions that you may have and if you already know your reactions, it's a chance to test it out, comb through it and see what's here for you today.

Candice Wu 19:12
So what I'd invite you to do is take a pillow, or some sort of object to use as a prop. And with that, have a space that you can move about, that's private and quiet. If you're doing this on public transit, or in a place you don't have that much space, you could try visualizing this in your mind, but I would not do this while driving or operating any machinery.

Candice Wu 19:58
We're going to invite this object, this prop to represent someone of a race that you are wanting to look at your own reactions within your own body. It could be a Black person, it could be another — a Black person of another color, if you are Black, could be White person, could be Chinese, whoever. Just choose one for now, and you can do this with any other kind of person or a person with difference, like a different ability, size, accent or language, different sexuality. This can be applied to anything.

Candice Wu 21:03
So as you designate this prop to represent this person, this kind of person, and obviously, it's like a generalized thing, although different people you know may come to mind. Place the objects somewhere in your space, just intuitively wherever it feels right. And allow yourself to stand in a space interacting with this person.

Candice Wu 21:29
Imagine this person. Notice where you stand and how close or far away and allow your body to move around until you find a place where your body goes, where you land, where what happens is just happening. And open your curiosities, so that you can just allow whatever it is that's here to be here, to be discovered, to be revealed, and maybe even to surprise yourself in the safety of your own experience.

Candice Wu 22:15
There's no judgment or shame about whatever you may experience and you may even experience your own shame or judgment, and that's okay too.

Candice Wu 22:38
Now, feel and begin to witness what emotions and sensations you have inside your body as you're aware of this person. Become aware of where your eyes are looking, where they can look, or where they cannot.

Candice Wu 23:06
Can you see this person? And what happens in your body when you do look?

Candice Wu 23:19
And be open to anything, maybe it's warmth, maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's fear or some tension or a tightening of your shoulder, towards your neck and ear. Look for the subtleties and just be curious as you explore inward and downward.

Candice Wu 23:53
And whatever distance you're at, notice if you go closer, just a bit or farther just a bit, what begins to happen there inside your own body.

Candice Wu 24:19
And if you allow yourself to recognize or acknowledge that this person has a right to be, and to exist, what happens in you?

Candice Wu 24:46
And experiment with saying to them, I see you. And if it's true or not, can you see them?

Candice Wu 24:55
Can you see that they have a family or that they came from somewhere in terms of having an ancestry of people behind them?

Candice Wu 25:14
Can you see that they may have desires or dreams and honor that, what happens in you?

Candice Wu 25:30
Can you see if they have wounds or that they have wounds? Are you open to seeing that?

Candice Wu 25:49
And now just looking at your own experience, your own body even more, notice whatever happens in your body. Are there any thoughts about this person that is beginning to reveal itself?

Candice Wu 26:10
Any fears? Assumptions?

Candice Wu 26:23
And these assumptions don't have to even be “bad”. They might just be any assumption that you don't know has an unintended consequence. For example, thinking an Asian person is smart. That's an assumption and that can have an undesired effect. Even if you think it's a good thing to think about someone.

Candice Wu 27:03
Notice what there is here.

Candice Wu 27:07
Again in your body, all the way down to your toes.

Candice Wu 27:18
And whatever there is here to notice or witness, just allow yourself a few more moments here to do so and experiment with this dynamic as much or as little as you want moving closer, farther, standing next to, standing behind, seeing their ancestry, letting them see you.

Candice Wu 27:56
Noticing any part of you that has dislike or disgust or any other uncomfortable feeling. And let yourself investigate that by just being with it.

Candice Wu 28:20
And you might take longer here or take note of pieces of what you experience, thoughts that may have come up. Recognize that not everything is going to come up here. Because this stuff generally happens when you interact with life itself. And there are different ways that circumstances can draw out unknown perceptions or things that were just hidden or that you've hidden from yourself.

Candice Wu 28:56
So this is just an opening.

Candice Wu 29:02
When you're ready, take that prop and release it back to what it is. The pillow or the object that it is. And check in with yourself again.

Candice Wu 29:14
Notice how you're feeling in your body. Anything that's happening for you.

Candice Wu 29:26
Thank yourself for having the time and making the time and space, for having the courage to look.

Candice Wu 29:36
And feel free to try this again with any other kind of person that is different from you. Just checking to see what there is to know, what there can be revealed to you.

Candice Wu 29:52
And if you have someone that's willing to do it with you in person, someone who is different from you, if it's a safe experience that you can set up for the two of you that's agreed upon, that might be really interesting.

Candice Wu 30:11
And know that there are lots of spaces of Systemic Constellations that hold space for race wounds and race dynamics, wounds of our ancestry.

Candice Wu 30:26
In this experiential, we just looked at the body's reactions, the body's experience, when in the presence of someone who's different from you.

Candice Wu 30:41
In upcoming episodes, I want to look at parts of us that hold certain wounds, certain perceptions that may open up to our own personal wounding, or the wounding of our ancestry that we've inherited or have been replaying.

Candice Wu 31:02
And I want to talk about some Spiritual perspectives that zoom out farther, that are not unrelated to what we're talking about, but from a different vantage point to look at, from the level of creation. How have we created this and what it is that we're creating so we can take a deeper responsibility? A farther back perspective of responsibility and come out of any of our own victimization where we feel like someone else is to blame or to fault or something. Not everyone will be ready for that kind of risk, possibility, or presence.

Candice Wu 32:03
Some people at different times need acknowledgment of other people because that's where the wound happened. But I want to offer these coming up, so stay tuned if you're interested in that.

Candice Wu 32:19
Feel free to reach out to me and share your own experience with this experiential or pieces of this work that you're interested in. My email is [embody@candicewu.com](https://CandiceWu.com/connect). Feel free to leave a comment if you're seeing this on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube.

Candice Wu 32:36
Thank you so much, and please be gentle with yourself. Support your body if you need it. And again, thank yourself for practicing this today.

Candice Wu 32:51
I'll leave you with just a little music to transition and allow your body to come back into the present moment and to whatever else your day holds.

Candice Wu 33:03
Thanks so much for joining me. I'll see you next time.

Candice Wu 0:00
This is an a{Life} Now episode about polarity, and coming into oneness and neutrality, dropping into a deeper space of love, and creating a new way of being, a new Earth, a new Life, creating new dynamics.

Candice Wu 0:18
And in this episode, I share about a feeling of worthlessness and wanting to disappear that I had, that surprised me and gave me some unexpected healing and wisdom.

Candice Wu 0:34
The embody podcast accompanies you on your journey of remembering and embodying your true nature, integration, and alignment with your vibrational clarity, self-love, and living a Life of Beauty and wholeness. It's a menu of transformative healing tools, experientials, meditations, and practices from a blend of Family Constellations, Somatic Therapies, and Holistic and Spiritual practices, sprinkled with vulnerable conversations with people who have the courage to be themselves, {alive now} Episodes with updates on my personal process and reverie Episodes that are “spiritual succulents” that honor, reveal, hug, shake or stir you into Love. I'm your host, Candice Wu, integrative and intuitive healing facilitator, and artist.

Candice Wu 1:36
Something that I've always been interested in is the opposite side of things, the polarity. The two sides of one coin, and especially where there are things that we overvalue in our society or we stigmatize. I've been interested in finding some sort of neutrality, where I can feel for and understand both sides and feel the bridge in between that links them. And it's with that.

Candice Wu 2:15
The other day, I was noticing this feeling of, I feel worthless. I am worthless. I am nothing, and I want to dissolve into nothing. I want to disappear. And for most people and even by my own perspective, I have built up my worthiness and thought that it was important to feel into self-worth rather than worthlessness and to heal worthlessness. And that, I guess, I wouldn't say it was a bad thing. It's just that it's not a feeling that resonates with my being that I feel worthless.

Candice Wu 2:59
So if it's there, either ignore it or if it's not ignorable, not ignore it, but just, it doesn't have power. But if it does have power, then look at it and heal it.

Candice Wu 3:12
And so here it came the other day and it came with a bit of sadness. So, kind of familiar to maybe other past feelings of worthlessness or unworthiness that I felt, but it had a different quality and it was here now, so I followed it. And they followed it, more words came and it continued on from I want to disappear. I want to dissolve into nothing. I want to be nothing.

Candice Wu 3:44
I asked myself a question that sometimes helps me. If I could dissolve into nothing, if I could feel worthless and nothing and disappear, what would it give me?

Candice Wu 4:00
When the knowing came, I just teared up and it felt like such a relief. And it was that I would feel peace. It surprised me, it surprised my mind at least… like I would feel peace if I felt worthless. I would feel peace if I could disappear. But those were actually the keywords, “disappear”.

Candice Wu 4:24
What it really meant to be, and it came through those words, even though it may not make total logical sense, but it kind of does, in that there are parts of me that have felt like I owed others something, that I exist for others. And I feel responsible for others, their well being or for making people happy.

Candice Wu 4:53
At this time of my life, it's only fragments of me like, little pieces of debris that feel that way. And, here it was, in this different format unexpected and surprising format, where, if I could disappear then it would feel amazing and peaceful because I wouldn't have to answer to anyone else. I wouldn't have to feel responsible for anyone else. I could be in my own world and be me and just be responsible for me and live my life for me, that I exist for me.

Candice Wu 5:37
It really brought me to clean up my dynamics with others, another level, where I trust in my own freedom and autonomy and I am that. I claim that. I take up that space as well as see the sovereignty of others. And, they're through responsibility for themselves and deeper knowing of their autonomy and wholeness and strength, and capacity and their journey, their path whatever they choose to do. And however one chooses to experience and be as a whole in their existence.

Candice Wu 6:27
So, I was shedding a layer of peace, of feeling like I owed others something in order to be okay. And if I, from that place of feeling that way, if I gave to others in a certain way, and these are little small things now, like returning text messages, maybe when I am not feeling totally compelled to in my being but feel like I should or feel guilty, emails and such.

Candice Wu 6:30
I'm really quite good at it now to just do it when I feel, I'm connected with it and that is for me to do in that moment I feel aligned and I feel happy or delighted to do it or feel purposeful for myself. It's truly a feeling of being in harmony with myself, my desires, and living fully in my being for my existence and for others because that is true harmony. If I can be fully in my existence, and others can too, everyone has that choice too.

Candice Wu 7:42
The process of getting there is a result of that choice or the journey with that choice can be something with that, I'm deeply free and so are others. And from that place, then I can connect with the cleaner intention, more of me, present and congruent with a clear intention of connection. Not connecting with others because I feel like I owe them something or I'm responsible for them and dependent, codependent in that way, on the dynamic, so it's breaking free of that dynamic and healing it and letting myself be from a freer place that is delighted to connect with people and interconnected, when I want to be and how much I want to be, as well as knowing that unconsciously and energetically, there's still a collective connection.

Candice Wu 8:50
So the feeling of the words and feeling of worthlessness going to wanting to disappear, going to peace, freedom, and harmony was so powerful for me and I loved that spin on it, of worthlessness. And it reminded me of how much I enjoy looking at polarities, and how going on one side or the other of a polarity is actually coming from the same energy.

Candice Wu 9:24
So the need to feel worthy and the need to feel, in my case, this kind of worthlessness that I am not indispensable, that I'm not the sole provider for certain people or like, so needed by people gives me a lot of freedom. But that I can be there for other people if I want to. And both sides of that spectrum come from not a place that I'd like to criticize or put as lesser or lower or worse, but more so a developmental, appropriate place of needing to develop that knowing and that side of myself, needing to know what it feels like to be worthy, needing to know what it feels like to be worthless, and therefore being able to come into the center of neutrality, that I'm not either of those things with that. I'm neither of those things and everything both. With that, I'm the awareness that feels these experiences. And to move beyond it naturally is to have felt both sides and understand them in my body. And then it's not a thing anymore. And that's where it's becoming. It's really nice to feel more in myself. More here for myself and coming towards connection from a more easeful, pure, and clear place of desire when that's there. And when it's not there, that's just the right thing.

Candice Wu 11:26
So what this leaves me with for all of you and for myself is the — just awareness that we are none of the things that we are trying to say we are and we are those things at the same time, you know, we are enough… inherently… and there's a deeper enoughness and worth of our existence that just is and that goes back to just almost all Spiritual sources that are deep knowing that we are, we exist, and therefore have value just because we exist. And to just feel that in my bones and my knowing, and to look at the places that maybe I hold and attach myself to, as part of the polarity, the duality, and to allow those places to gently come to the oneness, where it holds both, the both and the nothing.

Candice Wu 12:40
So some of these words, you know, I explain this in a kind of complicated way. I'm sure I could have explained this more simply. But I hope that you're receiving the energy of this, no matter what, and that if you've listened to it, that there's something in it for you, perhaps, or some piece of it that just connects with you. And if not, feel free to just leave it.

Candice Wu 13:07
I wanted to share this piece with you. It relates to a lot of the things I have talked about on the podcast like touching into the shadow side of empathy in that episode. You can find it at [CandiceWu.com/empathy](https://CandiceWu.com/empathy). Just looking at ways in which empathy goes awry, turns awry, and the door just opened.

Candice Wu 13:34
And just looking at the other side of the things that we assume our values and we assume, should be a certain way. And the way we look at society as a collective and what's happening, even social justice, it's coming in as a disguised form of the same energy of the opposition, sometimes. And there's nothing wrong with that, it's just swinging from one side to the other and reliving the same energy or energetic dynamic and relational dynamic as well.

Candice Wu 14:20
And if that's the case in your life, are there ways that you want to come into the neutral space?

Candice Wu 14:28
A neutral space doesn't mean you don't take any action or do anything that helps people or that brings awareness or does some good, does some — and I question the word “good”, but does something that you want to create that feels good. It just means being neutral just means that you get to do it from a place of freedom and from a place that doesn't create the same effect from the opposite end.

Candice Wu 15:02
When we look at racism and anti-racism, that's often that kind of dynamic, where racism is on one polarity and anti-racism is on the other and it's coming from the same place of hurt. And it can often create the same hurt… or another level of hurt. And if you take the content out of it and look at the pattern, all dynamic of the energy or the things that are happening that it creates, produces something similar, another opposition.

Candice Wu 15:50
I know it's very pronounced with our president in the United States, Trump, and in other countries as well. There's a lot of opposition and polarity and divisiveness and we're really seeing opposition very prominently in our experiences as humans here.

Candice Wu 16:14
I don't necessarily like some of the things that I see. And where can I find a neutral space where I can bring loving, that isn't of the same pattern I see, is what I like to go for. And then, of course, there are just so many million ways that our dynamics are hidden to even ourselves and maybe to others too. Ways we feel like we're doing something good and it covertly creates the same wound or hurt.

Candice Wu 16:52
And so I just love this conversation.

Candice Wu 16:55
Let this be a conversation with you if it's a place of awareness that you want to build in yourself. If it's something you want to create, and as many people are saying, now we are creating a new Earth or we're creating a new vision. We're stepping into a new way of being. However you say that or put words to it, I think finding the neutral space where both sides of polarity can be held and dissolve into the oneness and the nothingness, the wholeness, the totality, the drop into a larger expanse of awareness, where that's more connected with source. When that can come through, we have the ability to really create something different.

Candice Wu 17:55
So that's all that wants to come through today. Thanks for listening.

Candice Wu 17:59
Sending my love out there to all of you and the energy of clarity, the light to be able to see yourself, see the world from a different standpoint that's not attached to polarity.

Candice Wu 18:14
Hope you're all doing okay and if you want to hear more from the {alive now} series, check that out at [CandiceWu.com/podcast](https://CandiceWu.com/podcast) and you can click on {alive now} to see the thread of all the episodes that were alive and present for me in the moment of recording and very raw, as well as other podcasts by me and guests and the experiential and meditations that you can tune into as well. And if specifically, you want the meditations and experientials for healing or grounding, loving yourself, you can find it at [CandiceWu.com/meditations](https://CandiceWu.com/meditations).

Candice Wu 18:54
Thanks for listening to the Embody Podcast to this {alive now} episode.

Candice Wu 19:01
See you next time on the Embody Podcast.

Candice Wu 0:02
Hello and welcome. You're listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing, and self-love. My name is Candice Wu, and I'm a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 0:37
Lately, I've been interested in this idea about exploitation. I look around and see how, as a collective, there's a lot of exploitation of the earth, of animals, of our resources, using animals, using the land in certain ways. And in a lot of ways, depleting it.

Candice Wu 1:03
There are absolutely many people nourishing it and recycling and replenishing earth. And yet, there's this part of exploitation. And that led me to the idea of where do I exploit myself? That is the root of it. That's the core of where our actions come from, is ourselves.

Candice Wu 1:33
Where do I push beyond my limits? And, use myself and pushing me on limits and not a good way in a way that's not growth full or expansive, but in a way that drains and overrides what my body needs and wants. Where do I ask too much of myself or put pressure upon myself in ways that my easeful and natural being don't want to move or do or be?

Candice Wu 2:06
And for me, it's often reflected in the beliefs of not feeling enough or not having enough which then resides in not feeling and being enough. So it might look like going above and beyond for worthiness for value, or feeling greedy, like I want more. Like, I don't have enough where I constantly need more, or to do something, do more.

Candice Wu 2:41
And then, it can also show up in FOMO. For some people like missing out on something, wanting to do it all. And what that can often speak to is that feeling of in this moment, I am not enough. In this moment, this is not enough. This moment is not enough as it is.

Candice Wu 3:10
And how would our life be different if it were, if this moment, this breath, were enough? If one could find pleasure and contentment in this breath somewhere or in this experience of now, that can open up possibilities, that can open up the quality of our experience that can bring us to a truer sense of what we need to do, want to do, feel is right for us.

Candice Wu 3:50
A space where we're receptive and can listen to ourselves and be in harmony, true harmony with ourselves, rather than exploiting ourselves for the different ways that we can create or we can do. Just because we can do something doesn't mean that we should. And when we just do everything, we can find ourselves burning at both ends, or all the ends and find ourselves not quite, feeling fulfilled, joyful, light, natural, pleasant, truly in joy, but we can find ourselves exhausted or pushing for something.

Candice Wu 4:49
So we're just going to jump into a little meditation here in the form of an energetic download and clearing of energy, clearing of beliefs, and some forgiveness for any ways that you may have exploited yourself.

Candice Wu 5:07
And before we jump in today, while we're all, most of us are still in quarantine mode, feel free to check out if you're interested in dream work. There are ways that we can support our bodies in deeper sleep, more sound sleep, and more embodiment, so that our dream life thrives and we can glean some wisdom from our dream world.

Candice Wu 5:35
About last year, I recorded some classes on preparing your body for deeper sleep and dream work, that inner life, and they're all on Skillshare. If you haven't tuned into them yet, you can get two months free on Skillshare with the link that I'll provide in the show notes or you can go to [CandiceWu.com/dreamclasses](https://CandiceWu.com/dreamclasses).

Candice Wu 5:58
So now let's tune into the experience.

Candice Wu 6:07
And before we tune in, let your body move in any way or find stillness, whatever feels good for your body now. Give your body that permission to feel into pleasure, feel into enjoyment, and look for it. Especially if we're not attuned to pleasure and align to it in our lives, we might miss the places that are already feeling it.

Candice Wu 6:40
And if you can't find something inside that feels pleasant, even if it's a baby toe, or your tongue or an ear, then look outside and around you. Look for something pleasant in your space and let your body experience the connection with something that's pleasant.

Candice Wu 7:12
Turn on your curiosity, turn on your playfulness. And as you land in a space of restfulness, let your breath just release, the body. Release your attention on anything in the outer worlds, any pressures any stresses.

Candice Wu 7:42
We just let this be a space and time just for you to come into connection with the pleasure in your body, listening to your body and self-forgiveness. Just inviting the energy of love to surround your whole body, above and below it, side to side, in every dimension and every cell of your body.

Candice Wu 8:23
And as you sink deeper into your body, into your energy, let your own energy open up. The deepest parts of you know exactly who you are. Exactly what you love. The deepest parts of you know exactly how to be in the truth of who you are.

Candice Wu 8:56
Feel and experience anything that's happening in your body. Anything that's happening in your energy.

Candice Wu 9:16
Begin to notice your heartbeat and if any part of your heart starts to come in sync rhythmically with your body, resonating with your own energy.

Candice Wu 9:38
And for this moment, look into your life, into all the parts of your life with a broad brushstroke and sense any places that you exploit yourself or use yourself, use your energy in places that you're heart or your spirit truly don't want to.

Candice Wu 10:08
And you don't need to pinpoint exactly where but just sensing if there's any part of you that does feel that sort of exhaustion or drain, pushing outside of yourself or beyond certain limits.

Candice Wu 10:30
And just notice all these parts as perhaps a survival mode or protection. Ways that your body has learned to be in this world to gain love or worthiness. Just for a couple more breaths, respect that this is a way that your body has adapted.

Candice Wu 11:02
Just speak or hear these words inside of your mind and let them ripple through your body and your energy.

Candice Wu 11:15
I forgive myself for judging myself for all the times and places that I exploited myself or my energy.

Candice Wu 11:33
And as you breathe that through your body, notice any little shift, any movement of the body, any sensation, and emotion.

Candice Wu 11:48
And if these words aren't true for you, feel free to just discard them peacefully and continue to feel into your own energy.

Candice Wu 12:04
I forgive myself for judging myself for any time and place that I pushed beyond my body, heart, or soul's limits. And where it didn't serve me. And any time or place that I overrode my body's needs and desires.

Candice Wu 12:39
A couple of breaths, just noticing them pass through and again, discarding the words if they're not for you.

Candice Wu 12:54
And I forgive myself for judging myself for all the times and places that I pressured myself to do what was not for me to do. Or, I pressured myself to do too much.

Candice Wu 13:25
And I forgive myself for judging myself for any times and places that I did not feel enough in myself.

Candice Wu 13:41
Imagine giving your body a whole big hug, or even wrap your arms around your body just to support anything that's moving through.

Candice Wu 13:57
Track your body and notice anything that's happening.

Candice Wu 13:59
And we'll close with a couple more words here. And again discard them if they don't fit for you.

Candice Wu 14:15
I forgive myself for judging myself for forgetting that I am deeply enough and I am deeply free, and I respect my body's needs and desires.

Candice Wu 14:48
And just letting the energy of forgiveness for any judgments around this.

Candice Wu 14:58
Letting the energy of your body digest itself. Digest anything that's happening. Letting your body metabolize any emotions.

Candice Wu 15:13
This is going beyond affirmation. This is forgiveness. This is forgiveness for judgment. And then the rest takes care of itself.

Candice Wu 15:30
And if certain emotions are stuck here or you're not feeling anything, then I invite you to just touch your body. Look outside of you, ground yourself and practice maybe some more tools for releasing overwhelm or coming back into safety in your body.

Candice Wu 16:01
And if you want to stay with whatever else you're feeling, feel free to do that for as long as you need.

Candice Wu 16:12
And at some point, be sure to thank yourself for being in your own energy, taking the time and attention to love yourself to go deeper into the roots of some of these belief sets and where they're held in your body and your energy.

Candice Wu 16:36
And whenever you're ready to stretch or move, if your eyes are closed, open them, do that at your pace. Let your body ease into the flow with whatever new energy you're carrying in your body and whatever's transmuting inside of you, letting that continue if necessary.

Candice Wu 16:59
And I'll leave you with the little bit of music here as we close today.

Candice Wu 17:02
Thank you so much for practicing. And I wish for all of you that you can feel the sweetness of life, that you can feel pleasure and let that guide you. Let pleasure be your compass. Let contentment lead the way. And trust that, that gives life to creativity, that gives fertile ground for what naturally and easily wants to come through where you don't have to push. There's ease in creation, there's ease in doing, because you're deeply in harmony and respect with your own body, with your own heart and your spirit.

Candice Wu 17:50
It's lovely to have you here today. If you want to stay connected with me through my newsletter, feel free to sign up at [CandiceWu.com/embody](https://CandiceWu.com/embody) and feel free to check out other podcasts and meditations, guided meditations and healing experientials at [CandiceWu.com/meditations](https://CandiceWu.com/meditations).

Candice Wu 18:13
Thanks so much for being here. See you next time on the Embody Podcast.

Candice Wu 0:00
What an interesting time to be alive. Right now, the world is facing a huge collective experience with the Coronavirus, COVID–19. And this episode is about some thoughts I have, what I'm going through, and some ways that we can harvest the wisdom and cultivate the medicine from the underbellies of what we're experiencing.

Hello and welcome. You're listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing, and self-love. My name is Candice Wu, and I'm a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

This episode is brought to you all the way from Mexico. When I first chose to come here, I came on the intention that I wanted to surrender, surrender to what my inner guidance said for me, which meant not making a million plans. But I still made one plan and that was to come home, well, go back to the US on April 1st and go to spend a month in California with my mentor with Horse Constellation, Sarah Fancy, and learn more from her.

So I made that plan for myself to come back and here I am, going along on my trip, and every bit of the way, I'm asking myself, what feels aligned now? What do I want to do now even if I had a previous idea, or desire, what is it now? Where am I called to go now?

And what happened when I continue to commit to that was I landed here south of Puerto Vallarta, on the ocean, on the Pacific, through a family friend, and I felt incredibly lucky. And as I arrived here, I needed a huge rest. This happened right before the US began to feel or began to make changes and feel the concern for coronavirus. And so here I am. And as time goes on, and I'm watching everything happen, Mexico's not quite responding the same way to the virus, everything seems to be going on, as “normal” here, but a few cases popping up.

Then, just last week, the border closed. The Mexican US border closed to non-essential travel. And I knew, looking ahead, prior to that happening, I had seen what happened when the border close to Europe and all the people flooded into the States, and I just thought I do not want to be stuck in that. And I thought, well, I'll definitely miss that and then still try to go April 1st. Well, I don't think so.

So when I chose to surrender, I surrendered here in the feeling that I actually wanted to stay and as the border closed, it gave me that uncomfortable feeling of: Do you really, are you really doing this?

And I did.

So I'm still here and there's a way in which I don't want to get stuck here. You know, some people are asking me, are you going to get stuck over there? Well, I kind of want to. And when I just claimed it, I want to be here. That felt really good and it felt right. It felt aligned with my whole body.

And in fact, it's quite a safe place for me to be considering my circumstances here. And what you're hearing is the Pacific Ocean, the waves crashing against some rocks. You might be hearing some birds here and there. There are lots of pelicans that make their dive, their beaks go straight into the water to catch the fish. It's so fun to watch, delightful.

Today, it's sunny but with a soft, hazy, clear sky look across the water.

So I'm hoping that this ocean sends you whatever you need in this great mystery of what's happening for us as a collective and for you individually, just imagining all of the mystery underneath the waters and how the ocean washes ashore back and forth and cleans up what it needs to all on its own and houses the depths.

What an extraordinary time we are living in and right now, people are experiencing all sorts of things. It's a giant range. I've heard people feeling the best they've ever felt in 10 years. And I've heard people are experiencing really scary, painful experiences like their loved ones getting sick, losing their job. We see the headlines in the news and for many that feeds the fear, it makes it build inside. And what I like to do is just slow down and pause, and feel where that fear is really coming from, is it mine or is it the collective? And see what you want to do with that?

If you want to release the collective fear, the collective emotions, do so. You can imagine that as color releasing from your body. Notice where that is in your body and release it and if it's yours, see what you want to do with it, you can be with it and be present, really look at it. And if it feels overwhelming, take a break.

When there is a big collective experience like this, there is a giant chance for a reset and lots of messages that can be collectively and personally harvested.

Our interconnectedness is one that many people have spoken about how interconnected we are not just with people, but with the planet and animals and the effect that we each have, and that businesses have and that groups have, countries have on the planet and each other. And we're seeing this play out in a very mass massive effect.

Some people are learning about self-sustainability and going back to the basics, discarding, trimming out the fat, doing only what's essential, maybe learning to cook for the first time. And some people are experiencing a lot of time for self-care, to put themselves first in a way where they experience the world slowing down and freeing them up in this way. But all this can stir. All this that's happening can stir up different fears, beliefs, past life stuff, ancestral stuff, relationships with money, relationships with ourselves, what we're going through with death.

When I think about past life and ancestry, I think about all the things that we have gone through as a collective. I think about what my specific ancestry has gone through. I think about the wisdom that I've heard through many people in their ancestors, of the things that they've gone through, and how they've been resilient through them.

So our ancestors have gone through stuff like this immigration, war, seeking refuge, death, illnesses, having to be minimalistic, or perhaps even starvation experiences or near starvation.

And the thing is, you're here. If you're listening to this, you are here. You are alive and your ancestry made it. And what this brings me to is the question of what can you draw upon in the wisdom, in the medicine of your ancestry, and the resilience and the strength of your ancestry, to support you in the now, even if it's just being present with them and imagining them, feeling their presence.

I believe that each of us has a very special message, many messages locked within this experience that we're going through and on a deeper spiritual level that we even co-created this to learn something.

The virus says to me, I'm the energy of making radical change. I'll make a sharp and quick impact and accelerate and magnify whatever it is you're already needing to learn, and that you actually deeply know.

So here's a chance to become very present with your real lived experience. And, all the stuff that stirs up because of it that is part of perhaps what's been undigested from the past, in your history of life, whatever wants to be looked at might come up right now. Where you have dependencies and attachments might come up right now and the beliefs underneath that, past life stuff and ancestry stuff might come up, to be looked at, to be integrated, to be brought into the mix of what you can see and be with, and notice within your embodied visceral experience.

So while there are real functional things that need to happen, or that you may need to support you, like yes, get food, yes, wash your hands, and all of those things, when you have a feeling of fear or anxiety or sadness or something, if you stay a little longer, what reveals itself? If you honor the sensations in your body and listen without trying to push it, what happens next?

If you don't take all your thoughts for face value, but witness, what is it like to be in my body with these thoughts?

Then some of these, can begin to digest and integrate, and perhaps it can reveal more for you.

So whatever it is you're experiencing in this time, I wish for you: presence with yourself. I know that we all wish each other to be healthy and I absolutely wish you to be healthy and at peace and well and safe. And if you're not feeling that or if you're not feeling healthy, or you are sick, or someone you know is not well, notice how it's touching you. Perhaps, let it change you. Be with the process, be with the transformation, and experience it in and of itself, for the most part of our human experience.

So I invite you to look whatever it is you're experiencing in the face. And even if it's for just one moment, one breath, that's great. Take a break. Come back and try it again and see what happens.

I'm here today too, if you'd like to take a moment with me and just tune into your specific alignment and what you need to be doing right now, what your focus of energy and attention is, we can do that together.

So I invite you to place one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly or see what's right for your body. And with a few breaths, that you notice, if this part isn't on already turned on the part of you that witnesses and observes. Say hello to your body. Just being here in this quiet little moment with yourself.

And now I invite you to look from an outsider perspective at your life, at your soul, and spirit, the span of your soul's life and notice any information that you're given.

Notice what you see, what you're aware of, and how you feel. Go deeper than the emotions that you feel. Get to the core and the source of what it is that you're experiencing even if it means just inviting yourself to go to those origins, and also ask yourself, where is my attention best place right now? How can I best support myself and those that rely on me? What do I deeply know is for me to do here and now?

If there's anything for you to write down to take note of, feel free to do that so that you're reminded of it as we close our time here today on the podcast.

And as we do close, just send you a sense of peace and grounding, and the reminder to touch into beauty and what's going well, so touching into beauty, what's beautiful in your life right now, whether that's something in your emotional relational life. Something literally that you can see in the space around you, that gives you a sense of beauty. And if there's nothing, you can imagine something that's beautiful. That just helps give your body a sense of safety.

And the second piece being touch into what truly is here right now, that you're alive, that you're breathing. And if you are having trouble breathing, if you have some symptoms, notice how much your body can breathe, focus on what's going well and just take it in. Allow your selves and your energy to connect with that and then go tackle the hard stuff.

So, as we close today, just wishing you all that sense of presence with yourself with whatever's coming through, and what you're here to do right now, what is in alignment for you.

And I want to send a shout out to all those that are out there in the health care world, supporting others. A thank you to all of you, to the scientists, to the people that are running grocery stores. Also, to all the parents out there who are toughing it out at home with their little ones. That's not always easy.

And in some ways, many of all of you that I mentioned are working double time where others are resting and trying to find something to do with their time. So we have very different experiences here all across the board.

And lastly, if you want some more resources to support what you're feeling right now, to work through anything you're experiencing, I recommend a few podcasts, parts work, working with the different parts of you at CandiceWu.com/partswork. The episode on overwhelm and polyvagal theory, to help you feel grounded and resilient through this time. That's at CandiceWu.com/overwhelm. And also, the episode on emotions and the experientials that go with it that support taking breaks, resourcing strength that's at CandiceWu.com/emotions. And there are so many million resources out there of people and wellness practitioners that are offering meditation, yoga, writing, all sorts of things. If you just take a peek and open to whatever it is you need it's likely out there.

Thanks so much for joining me today. And again, I'm wishing you all the presence with yourself that you can possibly have, and with your loved ones with what's happening.

And I'll leave you with a little anecdote that I recall vaguely from a documentary I saw a long time ago. I think it was about the Dalai Lama or monks or Buddhism.

And there was a monk with a group of people and this car was beeping, this car alarm was going off.

“Beep. Beep.”

And it was utterly annoying and it was going on and on for a long time and I heard the monk just saying over and over: The beep is reminding us to be present, the beep is reminding us to be present.

So I want to leave you with that thought that everything you're experiencing is reminding you to be present.

Thanks so much for joining me today and see you next time on the Embody Podcast.