Candice Wu 0:00

In this podcast, we have Nick Werber back on the show, yay! In this episode, we talk all about intention setting and the process that brings in our lives, what it means and how to move through, as well as where our family systems intentions, our ancestries’ intentions come in, and how to respect those.

Candice Wu 0:22

Find out if Nick and I are the black sheep of our families and whether there’s a black sheep in you.

Candice Wu 0:30

Hello and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing, and self-love. My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 1:06

The podcast is supported by so many of you out there listening and people who either quietly donate some money or give their feedback and their encouragement. Thank you all so much. And if you’d like to support the podcast in a more specific way, there are two options right now that are very interesting. You can sign up for a periodic personal meditation that I record personally for you based on your intentions and based on my intuition of what you’re sharing and what might be needed. And that can be a one time experience, an mp3 that I send to you, or a gift to somebody, or by subscription where you get that periodically.

Candice Wu 1:53

Or, if you’re interested in something that has more connection and contact with me, you can join my Embodied Group healing call. These very small groups offer a compassionate and embodied soul support space for anything you’re going through in life. So if you’d like to learn more about that, feel free to go to my website at CandiceWu.com/support.

Candice Wu 2:19

Following this episode will be a special recording by Michael Picucci of an adaptation of Bert Hellinger’s writing. So Michael Picucci is Nick Werber’s mentor and friend and fellow healer. And he speaks about him in the first episode that we have together that we recorded together last year and in this episode, so you can hear a little bit more about Michael Picucci and Bert Hellinger is the founder of Family Constellations.

Candice Wu 2:52

Both of these beautiful people and healers passed away last year and so what a lovely experience to have this on the podcast for all of you to experience. And, Nick was such a close person to Michael, that he’s offered to share this on the podcast and knows that Michael would really love for others to experience it. The offering in this meditation is called consenting and it’s lovely to inspire, bringing consent to people around you, situations, agreeing to what’s happening, and what your human experience is, such that it brings new possibilities or allows ease and brings the next unfolding. So be sure to tune into that later this week or following this episode, depending on when you tune in. And without further ado, here is Nick.

Candice Wu 3:58

Not really sure how to jump in Nick, this is your second time on the podcast. It’s so cool to have you here.

Nick Werber 4:04

Yeah, I’m really excited to be back again. I know, you know, since last week did that first podcast I’ve gotten, it’s surprising. It’s people, you know, every so often. It’s like, “Oh, I found you through, you know, Candice Wu and I love Candice.” So, I’m really excited to be back because, yeah, a lot of people love that first one, at least they tell me, so.

Candice Wu 4:27

Yeah, I get a lot of great feedback from it, too. And people really have enjoyed what you have to say, and enjoyed our conversation, and some people could just feel like that we were friends. And that’s so true. I just so appreciate you, Nick.

Candice Wu 4:43

And the first podcast we did was maybe about a year and a half ago. And for those of you who haven’t listened to it, or maybe want to review, it’s at Candicewu/nick and it’s also on your website. Right, Nick?

Nick Werber 5:02

True. I think it is. Yeah.

Candice Wu 5:04

At nwerber.com. And, Nick, can you just tell the listeners out there a little bit about who you are and what you do, just as a refresher?

Nick Werber 5:17

Sure.

Nick Werber 5:19

So, I call myself, you know, the label that I use as an integrative coach and a healer. And really, what that means to me is that I just, I pull in many different modalities into my work. And some of the big ones are Family Constellations work, which is all about, you know, this work of how so much of what we’re facing and experiencing didn’t start with us. You know that the context that we live in, has a huge effect on who we are so that can apply to family. It can also apply to our nation and our culture as well as our, actually our ancestral history of these things that long tail of history actually has a real effect on who we are.

Nick Werber 6:08

And then for me, all my work is really on this, founded on this bedrock of somatic trauma work, specifically a modality called focalizing. Which is, you know, really just the best practices I think of any time you’re working with trauma, that overwhelm is the enemy and you might hear this just in the way that I speak and the way I approach things is that just I think the best healing is done in this very stable, gentle space where people can feel safe and, you know, in addition to that, I also have a bunch of training and hypnosis.

Nick Werber 6:49

Sometimes the way I say it is that you know, the work is, all of it is focused on, you know, we have these very deep, unconscious parts of ourselves, as far as we know, we might only use somewhere between 1 to 3% of our brain and consciously, I’m sorry, only 1 –3 percent of our mind is conscious. And so all the work I do is really about working with the unconscious and how God affects so much of what we’re experiencing.

Candice Wu 7:22

Beautiful.

Candice Wu 7:24

And, Nick, I think I told you this before, but someone recently told me that you and I could have been brother and sister in a past life or siblings. And that just makes so much sense to me on many levels, which I’m not going to get into now, totally, but that just feels true in some ways, we’re like siblings in this healing, embodied work, and that’s part of what I so value about your work, how much of the experience in the process that you bring forward, that I love as well, and do my own versions of. But I also deeply value the way that you use your language and words to key into very important and relevant topics that we’re all dealing with in some fashion that get people, it like creeps in sideways in new ways, fresh, very refreshing way of speaking and writing that leave an echo in me. So thank you.

Nick Werber 8:49

Yeah, it’s an addition to the practice. I’m absolutely a writer at heart and love writing about the subject and I love that we were brother and sister in a past life. I believe it. I’m sorry, I interrupted you maybe in that past life I, you know, as an older brother, maybe I spoke over you I don’t know.

Candice Wu 9:12

Well, what I was told specifically was that in the past life, I always lived in your shadow. And I felt like, I could never like, come out of the shadow next to you. And so I was struggling with the feelings of like not being good enough in relation to you and always trying to win at that game but never winning.

Nick Werber 9:39

Oh God, it is sad.

Candice Wu 9:41

It is sad.

Nick Werber 9:45

I’m sorry.

Candice Wu 9:46

No. Yeah, you better be.

Nick Werber 9:49

Yeah.

Candice Wu 9:52

And just for all of you listening out there, the reason this came up was that, I, and I think I told you, Nick, I would read your posts and then I would just get, I would feel so, like, jealous to the point of feeling bad about myself, not the kind of jealousy that says, “ooh, this is exciting, this challenges me to grow,” which is probably more where I am at this point. But when I was getting triggered by your wonderful post, I was like, I’m not enough and like, now I need to be doing what Nick’s doing and I need to write like that and I could hear myself and I was like, “Why? Why am I? Why?”

Candice Wu 10:41

So it really helps to bring that into the light and for the emotions to move around it. But yeah, stop speaking over me, Nick. You hardly do that. No. You were just saying before we started recording that this is a totally different experience already and I’d love for you to share why with everyone.

Nick Werber 11:11

Well, last time, basically, I think we spent the first half an hour after we connected just working on why the microphone was so loud. And I, you know, I live in New York City and so there’s always some kind of construction or weirdness. Like, even this call I, you know, this podcast, I purposely asked you to do earlier in the afternoon, because when it gets close to two or three, there’s going to be school buses outside my window, you know, backing up and beeping and all that.

Candice Wu 11:39

The beeping yup. And you’ve got your mic from back in the day when you used to record music.

Nick Werber 11:46

That’s true. Yes. Yeah. I have the microphone that NPR uses and it’s really beautiful, and I pulled it out of the closet and it was dusty and there was something sitting on it so the phone is all deformed, but it sounds good.

Nick Werber 12:05

Yeah.

Candice Wu 12:08

Well, I made a big mistake, Nick, when you emailed me last night about some of the topics you wanted to talk about today on the show, I read it at 10 pm, your email and I, and then I couldn’t sleep for like four hours. So it’s really all your fault. I mean, that I read the email. Yeah, it was like 10 pm and I’m reading your email, and you’re bringing up the topics that you’re interested in, so I’ll just say some of them because I think they’re fabulous and that is what kept me up until like, two in the morning because I was just like thinking about these topics and your thoughts about them and so excited to hear from you about intention and the intersection of family and family history in regards to our intention, or how they weave in, what we reject and what we resist and how that impacts us and stays with us. You wanted to talk about the beautiful mystery and meaning behind who were born to in this life and what that we’re alive perspective can look like versus a dead perspective. And, then a little bit about narcissists versus empath relationships and black sheep, and also this misnomer of letting go of something or letting, letting things go. So, yes, obviously.

Nick Werber 13:42

When you put it like that, now it’s like, “Whoa, that’s a lot!”

Candice Wu 13:45

Right? I was like, boom, my head was like, Okay, yeah, I get it. Also, it was like getting back in the game of life after the holidays and I kind of just went into a cave.

Candice Wu 14:00

So before we jump in, you know, I was wondering, some of the words I wrote down for myself yesterday when I was just gathering myself trying to come back into my regular sort of schedule, as regular as that can be. But some of the words I wrote down were cave, because that was emerging cave and emerging out of the cave, surrender, the need for trust, clarity, but also not knowing at the same time, and then beauty and quiet. And I wonder, Nick, what words are popping up for you in your experience of life at the moment?

Nick Werber 14:41

I think flow is one, shame is another, connection, and I think the word, it’s almost like, expanse comes up because I feel, you know, I, as you know, Candice, I got married in September this past year and there’s, you know, so much an event like that kind of focuses you in such a powerful way. And, you know, right afterward it’s kind of holiday season comes through and now I feel like there’s this sort of expanse so now what do I do with the rest of my life?

Candice Wu 15:24

With the rest of your life? Yeah.

Candice Wu 15:26

It’s like, that’s a huge expanse. Yeah, I can imagine, right? Like having a wedding, you said focuses you so much. It’s like all your energies seem to culminate to that moment and all the people in your life at least from what I, you know what I saw of your wedding, and then coming into this I don’t know, quiet space or open space.

Nick Werber 15:26

Exactly.

Nick Werber 16:01

It’s open, and it’s playful. It’s like, I choose my adventure now. And I mean, I chose my adventure before too, but you choose it and then everything becomes very singularly focused. I feel now there’s a little bit more playfulness with each day, I can choose my adventure. And it doesn’t always have to relate to a particular goal either.

Candice Wu 16:25

Sounds really nice. I like that.

Nick Werber 16:28

Yeah, it is nice.

Candice Wu 16:29

Yeah. And then you said shame, connection. And there’s one other word I just forgot the first word.

Nick Werber 16:39

I think flow.

Candice Wu 16:40

Flow. That’s right. Yeah, do you want to say any more about this before we tune into the topics we have for today?

Nick Werber 16:48

You know, I feel like they’re going to come through in whatever we talk about. Because you know, I think speaking like this is a co-creative process. and whatever is living within us in this moment comes through. I’m borrowing a little bit from writers that I like and I recently a little bit of a tangent but I’ve been watching a little bit of Mad Men again and then interested in Matthew Weiner and you know, he basically said it’s every episode is what he was experiencing, you know when he wrote it. I think that’s true for most creation.

Candice Wu 17:31

Yeah, that makes sense. Where the energy comes through somewhere. So yeah, speaking of, oh, what were you going to say?

Nick Werber 17:41

I was going to say, I think I feel a sense that I’d like to talk about intention a little bit because it is, you know, new year’s time and it’s just so, I think it’s top of mind for so many people right now.

Candice Wu 17:54

Yeah, I was feeling that too. Yeah, did you create an intention for the year or for this time frame?

Nick Werber 18:01

I created several intentions and, you know, I found it actually reminded me how much I love intention that for me when I’m just working, kind of getting through my day doing tasks on a, you know, an hourly or a weekly basis, you know, whatever that kind of goal-line is, I start to lose track of meaning. You know, I feel like I’m kind of floating and I’m not sure where I’m going or, you know, maybe people relate to this where you just kind of realized, like, why am I doing this actually. And intention, I think, sitting down and actually writing down you know, here’s what I think is a life well spent, my time well spent and it’s not that I didn’t create a bucket list it was, you know, my intentions are a little bit more short term than that, but there’s just something very powerful to collecting yourself and in writing down, you know, here’s what I think is a good use of my time, here’s what I want to give to other people, here’s what I want to receive, and I couldn’t believe how much better I felt when I just did that simple process.

Candice Wu 19:27

Yeah, it’s, to me that’s actually such a playful process too, it’s like, I get this chance to gather myself and see what does feel meaningful and to clarify it. And I have felt that power of not just the writing down, but for me, I can use visioning like, seeing it in my mind and kind of carving out that vision in my mind that it’s not always so cut and dry like, I’m going to look at a vision of what I desire, what I’m looking forward into. But it’s this feeling sense that comes with seeing bits and pieces of where things are going for me and, or where I’d like them to go and it’s really fun. It’s like playing with consciousness, playing with myself.

Nick Werber 20:22

And I think when I hear you say that, you’re getting at something that I think is very important about intention, which is that intention is really supported when we find ways of moving beyond our just goal setting, kind of thinking mind. And so visioning is one way, when I do it, intention setting, I really tap into my body awareness quite a bit. And so it’s, you know, I think we have so much intelligence that is beyond our task-oriented mind and that intelligence is so important when it comes to, I think finding intentions that are valuable to us and valuable to the world and, you know, knowing, like you said, seeing what’s emerging ahead of you.

Candice Wu 21:14

I love that and when you say you use your body awareness and your body intelligence, what exactly do you do?

Nick Werber 21:24

So I actually have been playing with and this is what I used and this most recent intention setting process, a very specific way of working with body awareness, which is that I sit and I write the intentions, one intention per piece of paper. And then I actually put them out on the floor, and then stand on each one and embody the intention. And I’m sure this will sound very familiar to Candice in terms of Family Constellation process. You just step into the intention. Just close your eyes, tune in, and I do this with my clients as well. And it’s amazing how quickly just you get that little sense of Ooh, that’s, you know, it’s not the next five years, it’s actually in the next ten years I’d like to receive this or, maybe, you know, you start to suddenly get really strong senses of the wording of what you wrote. And, if you just connect with your body a little bit, you can feel, am I feeling contracted here? Am I feeling expanded here? Does it feel like a yes, does it feel like a no. And so that’s, I like things that get you up off the couch and connecting with things. Not only, you know, in your mind’s eye, but also in a physical way.

Candice Wu 22:45

Yeah, it brings more of us into the picture, alive into the experience. I love that.

Nick Werber 22:56

You know, this is, I have to give a little bit of a nod to one of my teachers, a person named Dr. Michael Pecucci, but he would say at this time, in a conversation like this, that we should set an intention for this conversation.

Candice Wu 23:14

Okay. We are.

Nick Werber 23:17

And I just thought that came to me it’s maybe a good idea.

Candice Wu 23:22

Okay. Yeah, why don’t we take a moment and feel that? Yeah.

Nick Werber 23:41

That’s funny that you said feeling because it definitely feels like a feeling to me actually.

Candice Wu 23:47

What are you getting?

Nick Werber 23:51

So, to me, the intention, and just for kind of our listeners, so there’s the intention that we might think we want to have at the end. But there’s a level of intention that’s kind of, it’s like, what already is there, asking to be connected to.

Nick Werber 24:08

And so that’s what the second part is what I’m speaking to when I say this, that for me, when I just think about the intention for this conversation, there is a fullness in my body. It feels like this feeling that I get when I’m like, wow, I listened to something that I’m going to be thinking about for a couple days and processing and referencing and it’s kind of that feeling of, I’m glad I spent time doing that.

Candice Wu 24:36

I love what you said, like what is already there and asking to be connected to and I find that when I tune in that way and listen, it’s a more aligned intention, like it emerges, it reveals itself. It’s already living. And yeah, I love the feeling that you’re bringing up the fullness, the feeling of the listening to something here.

Candice Wu 25:15

I got the words, being extremely honest with myself and outward, outwardly. And then also playing with the ideas that the concepts that we have put on the table like playing with you, Nick. And I think in your email to me about these topics you said, feel free to disagree or feel free to, you know, argue with this or something. And I was like, Yeah, I’m going to, let’s see what happens. And I could you know, we, just the idea of play and curiosity and what emerges out of that sort of challenge to on both sides, I think, but as more of a collaborative play.

Nick Werber 26:12

It’s, you know, it’s serendipitous almost that you know, honest and being outward, it’s funny, I, my partner Jen was sitting in our kitchen and I was talking about this podcast a little bit. I said to her that I think I’m going to be a little edgier this time. And I’m just going to say what I feel and, you know, maybe it might turn some people off. I don’t know.

Candice Wu 26:37

Bring it on.

Nick Werber 26:41

Yeah exactly.

Candice Wu 26:42

Yeah, I want to play with that, the edginess? Cool. So do we have our intention? Or was that just more, was it? I didn’t know if I heard a specific intention from you or just a feeling you’d like to experience. Is that? Am I getting it right?

Nick Werber 27:02

It was a little bit nebulous. I think the intention is to share something, both between you and I, that provides a sense of fullness provides a sense of, you know, a gift that you can sit with and play with, even, you know, for a time after this conversation and then I’m including the third player in the room, you know, the audience that maybe they can experience something that they can play with and sit with them, digest for a few days that gives them a sense of fullness as well.

Candice Wu 27:43

Yes, thank you for clarifying that. That’s great.

Candice Wu 27:48

And just inviting people to play with, play with these topics and disagree with us, or find where there’s a new opening and you know, I’m just saying that out loud because that also helps me do that. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Michael Picucci as well.

Nick Werber 28:11

Yeah.

Candice Wu 28:14

And just honoring him.

Nick Werber 28:19

He’s a major inspiration for everything I do. Funny, you know, on his website, when he was alive, it would, you know, you’d see Ph.D. psychologist but if you met him, he was very just quick to laugh with a very raspy voice, flamboyant gay man, who was a shaman and an energy worker, and you know, I think of him almost as the archetype of the Joker. You know, the one that kind of laughs and tells jokes but if you really think about what he’s saying deeply it’s, maybe the most honest, most real person in the room and a lot of ways. So there’s my little nod to Michael. Thank you, Michael.

Candice Wu 29:12

I wish I had the opportunity to meet him in person.

Candice Wu 29:18

So, intention, what comes up as you play with the concept or the idea of intention?

Nick Werber 29:34

What’s sitting with me about intention? You know, I have this community of healers and intuitive people that I love that are around me and both connected to them online and through some of the workshop spaces and communities here in Brooklyn that I’m in and everyone’s talking about intention. And I think the thing that for me, you know, I don’t think it’s touched on enough that I’d love. I think it’s helpful to acknowledge that, you know, intention is a process.

Nick Werber 30:11

When we set intentions, It’s not just that we write something down, and then we put it away in a shelf. And, you know, we hope sometime a year from now it’s going to end up on our doorstep.

Nick Werber 30:26

For me, and in my experience, and from my clients experience, it’s an active process. And one of the clearest ways that it’s very, really active is that I believe the moment you set an intention, what you’re really doing is saying, I’m ready to see what’s been standing in the way all along.

Nick Werber 30:48

You know, when you say, I want to find a relationship or I want to be making more money, it’s incredible how you know in the next few weeks or months people suddenly are playing in that shadow we stuff, those barriers that have been around for a really long time, that are directly related to these topics and, and I see that actually as a positive, it’s kind of, you know, whatever you want to call it. And, you know, universal intelligence or just the way the universe works is that it puts, it brings a barrier too and then it’s like, okay, now here’s your work. Now bring in your resources, you know who’s maybe, it’s a therapist or healer that you work with or just being a part of your community. You know, you have to resource yourself and actually go through it.

Nick Werber 31:44

For Christmas, I just got to my partner purchase me a sweater that says, “the only way around is through”

Candice Wu 31:54

Nice reminder…

Nick Werber 31:56

Yes, and that’s what this is. He set the intention to see the barrier and I think people don’t realize that happens. And so when they find the barriers, you know, when they come up against suddenly like, it just feels so hopeless and there’s so much doubt or I feel so much fear to go out and do that thing that I want to do, you start to, they might start to think, oh, maybe that’s a sign that it’s not really meant for me or you know, this isn’t going to happen or it’s not the right time. And it’s like no, like that, there it is, like you are now being given the exact wall you have to chip away at and your intentions on the other side of it.

Nick Werber 32:39

So I think what I want to, if there’s one thing people take away from this conversation, it’s that, to see intention as a process and to not be discouraged by the barriers, because that’s exactly what that processes, I believe meant to do is to bring up the barriers

Candice Wu 33:00

Yeah, I’m ready to see what’s been standing in the way all along. I love the words you expressed about that, it’s just such a nice statement. And we don’t always think about that exact position or approach when we’re creating something or like listening or creating something we want for ourselves.

Candice Wu 33:26

And I just think it’s such an important thing what you’re bringing up because, yes, so often, I’ve seen it in myself and clients everywhere. We find the resistance, the thing that scares us the most about it, and then we turn around and think, well, maybe that’s just not where we’re supposed to go because it’s scary or because it’s going to bring us some discomfort or let us look at something that we have not wanted to look at perhaps, and I see exactly what you’re saying too, in the way that barrier comes up and says, okay, you want this, you know, you want what’s behind this. You need this to come along. This barrier is the place where you’ve resisted or avoided, there’s an energy here and when you transmute this, when you transform or look through, go through it, as you say, instead of around it, that energy will come with you and support you in the end if you make it through. And we need it, we need it to go forward into the next thing. We need that expansiveness because that’s what we wanted to begin with. It’s going to bring us more. Thank you for bringing that forward.

Nick Werber 34:55

It’s almost like to give yourself credit. You know?

Candice Wu 34:58

Yes.

Nick Werber 34:59

There’s a reason you might not be making a million dollars a year, it’s because it takes hard, there’s a lot, there’s hard work, there are barriers there, there’s a lot to bust through. Now, if you come from a poor family, you’re leaving behind whole generations of a certain way of life. You know, it’s if you want that, if you want that intention, if you want to connect to that intention, there are some barriers you have to bust through and you know, that takes work. And so it makes sense that you maybe hadn’t connected to it yet. Again, you need the energy, you need the resources to be able to do that.

Candice Wu 35:41

Yeah, that just made me think, well, maybe that’s why people goal set instead of intention set? Because, I mean, maybe it also has a crossover, you know, even when we goal set there’s something that’s going to come up… but for people out there that are like FUI to intentions, like, I don’t want to deal with intentions or I’m not doing that. I’m giving yourself credit. Yeah, that it can be scary to set an intention because of the wave of things that might come in succession after that, on the pathway towards what you’re looking at.

Nick Werber 36:23

Exactly. And that’s why, you know, it’s also beautiful that if you set a really big intention and you’re not ready for it, you can stop.

Candice Wu 36:31

Yeah.

Nick Werber 36:32

You know?

Candice Wu 36:32

Yeah.

Nick Werber 36:32

You can take a pause.

Candice Wu 36:35

Yeah, I just love this. I have this image in my mind of a child, you know, I mean, I’ve been there standing on the edge of like a step and feeling like I want to jump down three steps. You know, I’ve done two. I’m going to jump three steps now. And I have this, I guess, maybe this is sort of archetypal image of an adult or someone older, saying just do it, go, just go. And like kind pushing you to go with their energy and with their encouragement. But there’s something incredibly beautiful about standing there on the edge and finding from within your own sense of I’m ready, or I’m ready to take the jump, and I don’t know what it’s going to bring doesn’t mean I’m ready and this is going to be easy. But that sort of leaning forward and being like, oh, maybe not, and kind of leaning back and playing at that edge, instead of just bypassing that and jumping without some sort of internal choice.

Candice Wu 37:52

And a friend mentioned to me this video, which I still haven’t seen, but I’ve been meaning to and I’ll link it to our show notes. I think this artist just recorded people at a diving board like high dive, and they were doing that, they would come to the edge. And some people would turn around and just never come back. And some people would like to stand there for an hour or something or like a period of time and go forward and back and maybe make the dive but it wasn’t really even about the dive I think. It’s just the process of us being human and being in that experience.

Nick Werber 38:36

And I think that I actually have seen that diving board video. So funny. YouTube is sort of my little guilty pleasure when I have downtime, so I’ve found it somehow. But to follow that metaphor a little bit, you know, I find with intention setting, we set an intention, or I set an intention and then it becomes, you know, okay, I started to receive it, you know, for instance, I had intentions about working with more and more people in group settings. And so I’m getting these group workshops are coming forward, they’re doing really well. And then it’s like, I recently, in the past year I was off or, in the past few months, I got the opportunity to work into this retreat in Mexico, which I’m sure we’ll talk a little bit more about, but you know, you can hit that moment of suddenly, Whoo, it’s like, it’s a much, it’s a bigger thing, it’s going to be more of a commitment, more of a commitment to the people coming. And then suddenly, it’s like the diving board’s too high. I don’t know about this one.

Candice Wu 39:44

Yeah, I asked way more of you.

Nick Werber 39:47

And I think those are, that’s really common that you get on a roll and it’s like, where’s your, what’s your tolerance and I’m not saying, you know, push through everything either. You know, I respect that tolerance level, that there’s, you know, that’s part of this work. That’s one of the barriers is fear, you know that you might come up against the fear, the fear of success, the fear of, you know, maybe speaking in front of a large audience or, you know, whatever your intentions include.

Candice Wu 40:18

Yeah, and this kind of loops me back to the beginning when you said that we can just get on a roll, or we can be in motion and wonder why we’re doing it or is this what we even wanted? And I think that that’s really challenging, it can be a really challenging place when the bigger thing comes, the bigger diving board or whatever it is, and you’re on the roll of the intention that you once had set. And there’s that place of, Okay, now it’s, I think that diving board is too high or this is really scary. This is a lot and it’s asking a lot of me. And when we feel into that place, it can sometimes mean this is no longer what I wanted or this is, wait, where have I gone? Is this what I wanted? And is it what I want now? And distinguishing that from the fear of the expansion and capacity, what it means to step forward and continue on? That can be a tricky place. Do you find that?

Nick Werber 41:34

Absolutely. When I hear you talk about that, I think we’re really connecting in some way to just the human condition, which is, you know, in some ways, we’re walking down a cave and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, maybe, but we just have no idea what’s there and what’s ahead of us and there’s a lot of mystery so, absolutely, and, you know, there’s, I think this is also why it’s sometimes very attractive to listen to someone that says they know, that they, you know, they know the answers because we’re, you know, in a sea of mystery all the time being alive in this world, you know, and this doesn’t get you out of that process, but for me, I do think, you know, there’s kind of three ways that I think about working with intention.

Nick Werber 42:34

One is the setting it process, like the planting the seed, writing it down, which can be a really exciting and kind of expansive piece. Then, there’s what we’ve talked about, which is meeting the barriers, which is, can be so shocking how different it feels, it’s like, it was so expansive in the beginning now it’s so friction-filled, and that can kind of discourage people but there’s a piece in between and maybe all around, all of it, where I do think it’s nice to have some sort of practice where you’re connecting to your intentions on a regular basis. And you don’t even have to do it every day. But for me that writing it down and stepping on the sheets of paper, I do that once every other week with my intentions, to just see, you know, how am I feeling now? Is there still kind of a change or anything that needs to be shifted here? How am I sitting with it, just to kind of keep allowing my own intuition, my own body awareness to keep teaching me and showing me new things. But if you know even the most trained somatic healers that spend all their time with body awareness, which I really spend a lot of my time leaning on my body awareness even with my clients, that’s how a lot of my intuition comes through. You know, the body. It speaks in feeling, it’s not in words. And you know, even that, I think is a metaphor. It’s like, so much of the way life speaks to us is it’s the exception is when it’s extremely direct and says, go do this. But a lot of it is, you know, there are messages that are kind of in a gray area and it’s up to us to feel, what feels right for us.

Candice Wu 44:27

I didn’t really set intentions this year.

Nick Werber 44:38

You’re screwed. The way you said it was like you dropped a bomb.

Candice Wu 44:52

All this talk about intentions, and well, I think that as I’m reflecting on myself, that there just been different ways that I’ve worked with the process of intention and setting it and some processes feel more epic than others. And there are times in my life where it feels that it needs a very, almost like a ceremony to set an intention and to create the space for it. And other times of my life, it feels like a quieter process that’s, maybe this is also more along with the evolution of my own capacity and healing. That it feels almost like a part of me, a part of each moment, in fact, that if I had to put words as you eloquently said, you know, this is a feeling, this is an experience. But if I had to put words into the process, it might be something like, where am I right now and what am I feeling? And what do I want to lean into right now in the capacity of who I am like, the state of being that I’m in?

Candice Wu 46:17

And so the words I’d give it right now as far as intention, maybe it’s just going back to what I said in the beginning, surrender, and trust. And I’m not sure if that’s the intention, or if that’s just how I want to be right now, surrendering. And it’s very moment to moment.

Candice Wu 46:38

And I found that in the last couple of months, my astrologer said to me that it was Uranus and the chaos of Uranus, that it brings this unpredictability and changing your mind moment to moment even. What was in this moment can be totally the opposite the next or the next day or the next week, and I have felt that very much in the last couple of months. And so when I have planned too far ahead, for me, it will reveal itself. So I just felt like I’m just not going to waste my time doing that. And that’s very particular to me and my process. I don’t know if other people are relating to that. Maybe if you have the same birth chart as I do. But, surrendering to the moment and going deeper though, not just like to the topical, satisfaction of the moment, but something deeper of, a deeper movement towards the next movement. So in a way, it’s very unknown. It’s just this movement to the next. So yeah, there’s my confession about intention.

Nick Werber 48:00

Candice, I feel what you’re sharing about the way you’re working with intention just makes me think, you know, that is so you, and I think that’s one of the things I really admire about you is the way that you just freefall with spontaneity in so many areas of your life, and that’s brave, that’s awesome, and so it makes sense to me that you’d be saying that and I think in some ways, maybe we represent two different poles around on the subject, and people can take kind of little bits from either of us, because for me, it’s the spontaneity and the free fall. I get kind of lost and the planning really focuses me in this way that increases my effectiveness and, but of course, there are things that are lost.

Candice Wu 48:55

It’s beautiful.

Nick Werber 48:56

And you know, and spontaneity is, so who wouldn’t benefit from embracing a little bit more spontaneity, and I think you really are like a role model for that in a beautiful way.

Candice Wu 49:08

Thank you, Nick. It’s not that I don’t get lost sometimes too, though. But I also, I guess I’m okay with getting a little lost. Maybe that’s the thing.

Nick Werber 49:23

You have a high tolerance for it, maybe it’s a way of saying it.

Candice Wu 49:28

Maybe, but yes, I think you’re right. You know, there’s just a time for all different kinds of tools, and I think the processes you’re bringing up, they’re incredibly powerful, and they do work at times, work I mean, they will open things up and they will, if you follow through, if or I guess I should only speak for myself: when I feel through the resistance, I’ve landed in exactly where I want it to be in a way, but in a place, which I couldn’t even fathom! And on the other hand, I know it somewhere in my body, that’s what I wanted.

Candice Wu 50:10

So yeah, I think just putting up a menu of how we can all approach this thing called human experience, it’s really great. But let’s talk about family and lineage; and what you’re thinking about in terms of how that intersects with intention.

Nick Werber 50:38

Sure. So you know, for people that might not know, it’s really the focus of my practice is around how family and family history are at the root of so much of the barriers that we experience and you know, the way when I speak to this, I’m not really speaking to it from this kind of, maybe like a clinical perspective at it for me, it’s really at this kind of soul level that we’re born to these, this mother and father, you know we were, we might have had older siblings or younger siblings, or no siblings at all, and that becomes this very powerful template that follows us around. You know, the roles that we’ve played with our family, the types of people we were surrounded by, you know, I think I said an example is: if you had a parent that was a narcissist, and one of them was distant; and then… did you try to befriend the narcissist or did you reject them; and try to ally with the distant parent or, you know, the permutations are infinite. But it becomes this bedrock by which so much of what we’ve become, or how we emerge out of our family is so much a reflection, either an acceptance or rejection of where we come from, and why this, I think is relevant into intentions is, I think so many of us are probably aware on some level that our family has intentions too, and that those intentions were pushed on us. You know, and so the maybe the simplest one would be, go be a doctor, be a lawyer, but there it goes deeper than that, and then I’m actually very fortunate, and you know, and it’s actually complicated. When you don’t get this, it’s also confusing, too. But I would lean towards saying, I’m fortunate that I came from a family that the main message I got was just all we want for you is to be happy. I mean, that’s like I am very very thankful that I got that message, and there was not a push to be a certain thing. I didn’t have to be something.

Candice Wu 53:10

Wow!

Nick Werber 53:10

However —

Candice Wu 53:12

Yeah.

Nick Werber 53:13

Yeah, not to be glossed over.

Candice Wu 53:17

Yeah.

Nick Werber 53:17

I mean, that’s a huge deal. Yeah, it’s a big deal.

Candice Wu 53:22

But guess what’s the shadow side of it? What?

Nick Werber 53:24

Completely, yeah, completely shaped my life that I received that message.

Candice Wu 53:29

Yes.

Nick Werber 53:33

One of the shadow sides is, if you’re just supposed to be happy all the time, if that’s the goal, then you’re going to be falling short all the time.

Candice Wu 53:42

Yeah, I wonder —

Nick Werber 53:44

-the whole happiness at all times.

Candice Wu 53:45

All we want for you to is to be happy. Yeah, I didn’t know if it was literally happy, you know, and the pressure to be happy to come with that or if that just meant it was open, but it’s, yeah, sounding like that would create a lot of, we’re much more than just happy in our experience of life.

Nick Werber 54:12

And there’s depression in my family, which is, so obviously what that is a reaction.

Candice Wu 54:18

Now when you say that, yes.

Nick Werber 54:23

And so, you know, so then it becomes, well, what if I don’t, you know, it’s a little bit confusing. So it’s you know, it’s funny how these messages no matter what they are, even if it’s so simple and sounding so innocent… we just want you to be happy. It still gets confusing.

Candice Wu 54:41

And in a way, we could just turn it around and say, and maybe this is where you’re going but seeing that maybe the words were, are more, maybe the words are all I want us to be happy, coming from wherever that came from, but impressed upon you, it’s a totally different experience.

Nick Werber 55:09

Well, Candice, I think you’re nailing it right now, and we’re about to go very deep into my own, you know, constellation, but it’s yes, absolutely. It is, there’s a funny way and I think this can be extrapolated that the desires that our family have for us are so much, obviously a desire to have it, reflect on them in a certain way, and you know, absolutely the message of I just want you to be happy was, if you’re happy, then I can be happy and you know, maybe that will fix things for me and funny enough, me and my sibling were not very happy.

Candice Wu 55:56

That’s just a strange thing.

Candice Wu 56:03

Yeah.

Nick Werber 56:05

Yeah, that has to be earned, and it’s a process but I want to kind of bring it back slightly of our family has intentions for us, sometimes they’re very concrete, we’d like you to do a certain job, we’d like to be a certain type of person, and so when we’re setting our own intentions, that has to be included in our awareness about, you know, what is our intentions and what is our the intentions that we’re carrying, actually for someone else in a way, you know, if I’m happy then if I can do that, then finally maybe my mom can be happy.

Nick Werber 56:43

And so there’s a piece of that, that needs to be respected, and there’s also another part of intentions that I think is really important which is that anytime we change in a way that we are leaving this fear of where we come from, you know, you want to make a million dollars, and no one in your family ever did that, you are breaking through a barrier there that you know you are you’re part of this family consciousness and you’re leaving it, and so there is an element of guilt that comes with that. Whether you’re aware of it or not, that sometimes when we connect to our intentions and we’re creating change in our life, there’s a part of it where we are leaving something behind, you know, that’s change and in any form, you know, to connect to something new, you’re always in a way leaving something behind, and so that factors into our intention setting to —

Candice Wu 57:50

Absolutely!

Nick Werber 57:51

-where we come from, you know, what we emerged in within our family.

Candice Wu 57:58

Now, I feel this conversation is flowing two ways in my mind at the moment. Looking at our own intentions, and I love what you said about respecting the pieces that may connect with an inheritance or with other people in our life, or maybe given to us just respecting that versus you saying, no, that’s a bad intention then right? To give that up or change that, but just respecting, just honoring it, is just such a lovely approach you’re bringing.

Nick Werber 58:41

Well, and maybe the way of adding to that would be to say, you know, just because our parents wanted something for us, doesn’t mean it’s bad, and this starts to get into, you know, after working with many different people of different family backgrounds, different cultural backgrounds, you know, I feel very strongly that the family we’re born into is this incredible, it’s a wealth of information, it’s a huge teacher for all of us, and even if you disagree with the pieces of what they shared with you, there’s, you know, they still taught you how to tie your shoes and maybe cook. You know, there’s a million basic things that come across from a family that, you know, doesn’t matter how much you reject or how much you disagree with you. You’ve taken from them.

Candice Wu 59:46

Yeah. Absolutely, and there’s so much conversation in the world event, intention setting about getting to the why or understanding why you’re choosing that, and I think that’s very important and it’s part of what you’re bringing forward in this conversation, is what are the pieces that influence, the reason that you want this or you know, whether that’s personal family or other, any other systems you’re part of or if you believe in past lives, but here we’re speaking about family, and when you said just because parents wanted something for us, doesn’t mean it’s bad. I feel if we also get to the why of like, they wanted to be a doctor say, or they wanted you to just stay in the lines and not make a mess and not stick out, that there’s a why underneath that, and we can really get to that essential love that they wanted for us, and I can’t assume that’s for many people are all people, but it’s in my experience that lives underneath it, that there’s something underneath in the undercurrent of that more topical message that people have gotten, that says, well, we really just wanted you to be safe or we really just wanted you to be yourself or be happy or which, as we’re talking about comes with all sorts of stuff, but there’s something else underneath it that we can look at as well.

Nick Werber 1:01:41

You’re totally right, and I think safety is especially the big word and that brings up for me, you know, something that Suzi said, Suzi Tucker, our shared teacher, about this subject. You know, Suzi had been talking about the just ancestral component of Jewish culture across the world, and where you know how the history of persecution is affected people today, and you know, one of her, she always says these things are always like an aside, all the best, and then it’s like, whoa, I need to write that down, and what she would say is that in the shadow of the Holocaust and how many people were lost, it’s there’s many, obviously, Jewish families that push their children to become doctors, lawyers, bankers, and she put it, she said, you know, what’s the common thread line between so many of these career paths? It’s that there they are central, they are needed. Your society can’t work without them, and you know, when you think about the genocide, it’s like, how do you become necessary in the world? And I think that’s a really clear example of how ancestral history affects family on a really, you know, the macro affects the micro, but this is happening across all cultures and with all different kinds of histories that the past influences exactly what our mothers are telling us today.

Candice Wu 1:03:31

Absolutely, how do you become necessary in the world? That hits somewhere deep.

Candice Wu 1:03:43

So the thought I was going to say about looking into directions, like looking at the family in the past, and looking at what’s been carried through the generations and how that comes into our intentions and looking forward also in the other direction, well maybe it’s the same, but I had an experience where someone told me if you do want to have children, make sure you don’t do it because of wanting to give your children a different experience than you got, and I was like, yeah, of course, and then I was like, oh yeah, of course. Because actually, the thought that came next was, well, then what would the reason be?

Candice Wu 1:04:34

And there was this part of me that couldn’t think of what would be a good reason. Like, how do I verbalize what would be a good reason? How is it clear enough from the reactions of myself or from the reactions of my ancestry? And that was a little tricky, and what I got too was just for love and experiencing, allowing someone to come into life through me, but that they’re completely free to be however they want to be, and that was really hard to, in some ways, articulate it clear enough, you know, because wanting your child to be happy, there just can be so many shadow sides to that and unknowns unconscious parts. But even what I’m saying, I don’t know if there are some dark, like, unconscious parts, but I guess I’m tangenting a little bit because I also, as you know, Nick, I work with horses and I enjoy time with horses, and yet I struggle all the time with the fact that we keep them behind fences, and we keep them accessible to humans the way we want, but do they want that, and it would be some time as a whole for that to shift, but if we really believed in the freedom of another being, then you know, how do we see, and treat them, and think about that? And so I guess looping back to intention when it comes to bringing life in, maybe that does apply too to the things that we create, that are not just human life or animal life or caretaking for others, but what we’re creating as far as what we’re birthing.

Nick Werber 1:06:38

I think there’s so much metaphor and in birth and creation, and I think in many ways, you know, the creative pursuits are kind of a process, a feminine process and a lot of ways that birthing, that creation, that I really, I do appreciate what you said shared, and I just wanted to acknowledge that I think you are not alone, and I can imagine there are many people listening right now that would resonate with that about having children in order to change, somehow change the way, you know, give them an experience you didn’t have, and there’s a piece of me that just wants to say, I don’t want to, I don’t think it’s totally wrong to come into that, to come into it that way, but I think it’s so important to have the awareness that you know.

Nick Werber 1:07:39

There’s a cartoon about this that I love, they’re kind of these candy hearts, like the ones that we give out on Valentine’s Day, but their characters and one of them just has on the candy heart section, it says we will not let you get fucked up, and then the mother side says: our parents fucked us up, and then the little baby heart just says: “a new kind of fucked up”.

Candice Wu 1:08:00

Oh! I love that! Please send me that. we are going to link that here too.

Nick Werber 1:08:05

It’s the clearest, like you get it immediately.

Candice Wu 1:08:11

Yeah.

Nick Werber 1:08:12

And this is a huge thing, I’m sitting with right now where I am talking about with my partner about, you know, when we might have children and what I’m bringing them into the world, why I’m doing that, what is the intention behind that is a big thing, and I do get wrapped up sometimes and all the things I would do differently, and then I catch myself saying, you know, I actually was raised in a way that I think my parents were very focused on doing it differently, and that is, it has its own shortcomings in a funny way.

Candice Wu 1:08:51

I really appreciate you bringing that up and holding space for that not being wrong, and I do feel that too, and when we think that things like that are wrong or like that we shouldn’t do that, it can compel us, yes to find something different but it can also be a way that we don’t acknowledge, that we actually have those true desires inside of us and the more we put a blanket over that, saying, okay, let’s like, let’s not, let’s resist that and let’s not use that intention. Sometimes that really backfires and it just lives anyway.

Candice Wu 1:09:47

Circling back to the beginning of our conversation, you know, where you said, I think these feelings I’m having are going to emerge no matter what, and there’s such a power to just say acknowledging it, and respecting that and seeing where it has an effect if you can and claiming it. So it has a place instead of just this like, lingering thing somewhere in the unconscious that does pass forward and lives itself out is the little baby heart.

Candice Wu 1:10:29

So do you want to talk about one more topic, Nick? I know we just like laid out so many. So good, but we kind of are leaning into resistance, what we resist persists, but what are you wanting to talk about now?

Nick Werber 1:10:49

You know, I think again, it just all feels like a time of year to touch on these guys, but I would love to talk about the phenomenon of black sheep and fan. Because I think this is the time of year where all that stuff comes right back up and there are so many people that were the black sheep that are, you know, still in recovery from their family gathering or have you know, stayed home and held certain boundaries and, you know, had to suffer watching all the family photos go by on their Facebook feed or whatever; and I just, I think something that is just so important to me is a real respect for the phenomenon of black sheep, how they emerge and that they are such an important part of the evolution of our society and our culture, and so that’s what comes up for me, so then, I’ve, and then now I feel like I just want to put you on the spot. Are you the black sheep Candice, of your family?

Candice Wu 1:11:59

I saw your post that you are not the black sheep. And I was like, am I?

Nick Werber 1:12:04

I know.

Candice Wu 1:12:07

Yeah, that was great by the way. I really appreciate that, so am I the black sheep?

Nick Werber 1:12:13

Yeah, I can speak more to that too, but yes, I was not the black sheep in my family which a lot of people are surprised to hear that. But the spotlight was taken by another, but yeah, so yeah, you said did you say yes, you are —

Candice Wu 1:12:28

I was thinking about it. It depends on how you define black sheep, so would you define it for the people listening and for me?

Nick Werber 1:12:44

That’s a, it’s a great, yeah. You know, I think if the black sheep is characterized by being someone that feels very strongly out of place, sometimes people that feel that the black sheep and their family feel like their parents are their parents, in some way.

Candice Wu 1:13:06

Yeah.

Nick Werber 1:13:06

You know, how could I possibly be their child and they are often the carrier and the target of all the shame of the family. It’s like there’s this sense of, you know, its parents might have a tendency to almost project all their shortcomings on to the child that didn’t do what they told them or wasn’t enough or should have been smarter or different in some way, which by the way, children are always a reflection of their parents and so for a parent to somehow pointed to a child and say you’re the problem is just very short-sided. But so it’s I think it’s yeah, it’s often they feel a certain level of shame, black sheep, as they get older, might spend very little time with their family because they might become kind of tired of it all and I, you know, I think the kind of classic was like television show thing of, you know, family dinner and the black sheep eat the fastest, tries to get out of it, gets away from the table as quickly as possible, barely talks, if they do, it’s very brief. You know, kind of, it’s almost like black sheep I think have to be very protective of themselves because they can be such target within families.

Candice Wu 1:14:48

Yes, that was me. That’s like almost everything you named. I was like, oh, yeah, check, that’s been my experience.

Candice Wu 1:15:00

At certain points in my life, good chunks of my life definitely felt out of place. Like, how could these be my parents, but then I also saw ways in which I was just like them, a lot of shame, and very much directed towards me even it trickled into my siblings, how could it not, you know, the same directed to me.

Candice Wu 1:15:28

I was known for like, stirring the pot and making things worse; and that’s by virtue of me expressing my feelings, you know, saying what’s going on and what I feel and it was a lot of things my family wasn’t ready to look at, and I, so desperately needed them to and needed them to acknowledge because, for me, it felt like survival, and not having enough resource for myself to survive the emotions that were going on and the trauma that was passed down many years that hadn’t been dealt with, that hadn’t been integrated.

Candice Wu 1:16:15

Yeah, many moments of like running away from the dinner table, having stuffed my food in my mouth, and crying. Those are really rough memories, you know, and I’ve worked on them so many times, and this is still a little tender place. But I can say now that I’m in the best time of connection with my family after doing so much work, inner work and embodied work, constellations work, there’s still more of course, but I actually enjoy my family and they enjoy me now and they’ve also looked at a lot, and so the same isn’t really is as strong as like a strong of a tidal wave, and just maybe exists in little pockets now, but as far as like the family system, it seems, from where I’m standing.

Candice Wu 1:17:22

So yeah, I don’t feel like I’m the black sheep anymore, but I once was, and I know that you had shared Bert Hellinger’s idea of black sheep, think on your Instagram and your social media; and many people have shared that it’s really beautiful because speaking to the black sheep as the change, the healing bringing the evolution of the family system forward is so real to me too, and at times, that’s felt like too much of a responsibility because it was and other times, it felt like an honor, and of course my place… it makes sense… like I wanted to do that but so you’re not the black sheep?

Nick Werber 1:18:12

You know, it’s so funny, this always happens is that as I connect to something over and over again, it deepens, and I just, as I’m hearing you, I feel like, I have actually felt I really connected to something about me that’s a little bit more than maybe what I had shared, which is yes, traditionally in my family, there’s the obvious black sheep is my younger brother and he just was a huge handful in a lot of ways and really offended so much of the family in so many ways, but what I would say is, you know, I said this: when we started that he kind of took the role for me because I feel if he wasn’t there then it would have been me, and I always kind of wished I could have been as disruptive as him. But then I think I had this awareness of how it would just kind of destroy the family to have another kid that is rebelling like that and so I felt conscious of that of like, I don’t have a place to be the rebel anymore.

Nick Werber 1:19:26

But I will say this, is what I connected to as I was talking is that I’m actually, truly, from a family of black sheep. My father was the black sheep of his family and my mother was the black sheep of her family, and maybe that’s not absolutely 100% clear from my mother. There’s like a little bit of a gray area there but for my father, it absolutely was, and so it’s funny, it’s like I’m the child of, I’m like, second-generation black sheep in some way which has a huge role in so much of who I am because I wasn’t raised with religion. I’m the first person and both sides of my family to not be raised with religion at all; and there are a million other traditions that I was maybe not part of for partly just because of that, because there are so many traditions connected to religion.

Nick Werber 1:20:24

So, there’s a funny, I think I realized I’m broadening the perspective a little bit. I’m kind of in the sphere of the black sheep, but maybe on the micro-level, it was more clear that my brother was the big one. But can I actually, that Bert Hellinger quote, may I just read it?

Candice Wu 1:20:44

Please do.

Nick Werber 1:20:45

I think it really captures what I feel about black sheep and I think so many people when they hear it, have a feeling to add. So I’ll just read it. I brought it up because I think I had a feeling we’d be talking about it, so, “The so-called black sheep of the family are, in fact, seekers of deliberation roads for the family tree. Those members of the tree who do not adapt to the rules or traditions of the family system, those who are constantly seeking to revolutionize beliefs, going in contrast to roads marked by family traditions, those criticize, tried and even rejected those by general, they are called to release the tree of repetitive stories that frustrate entire generations. The black sheep, those who do not adapt, those who scream rebel, repair, detoxify and create a new blooming branch, countless unfulfilled desires, unfulfilled dreams, frustrated talents of our ancestors manifest themselves in the black sheep’s rebellion looking to take place. The family tree by inertia will want to continue to maintain the castrating and toxic course of its trunk which makes its task, the black sheeps task, difficult and conflicting that no one makes you doubt. Take care of your rarity as the most precious flower of your tree. You are the dream of all your ancestors.” And that’s by Bert Hellinger.

Nick Werber 1:21:01

So lovely.

Nick Werber 1:22:29

Yeah, you know, it just for me, it captures so many things, but I just, I do feel that black sheep carve new roads for families, you know, without black sheep, families can just keep repeating over and over again; and it’s the black sheep that kind of forced them to face things. Even if the family that sits around the “black sheep” doesn’t receive anything, doesn’t take anything in, you know that the children of the black sheep are never going to be the same. They’re always going to experience traditions and family in a different way. So it’s, I think black sheep are just so intertwined with evolution and as he says, you are the dream of your ancestors and I really believe that our ancestors, it is their dream that we evolve and become more of who we are and more in tune with, what fulfills us and what serves others in the world and so that’s, I really, I can’t say enough of how I put black sheep on a pedestal, I really have a lot of respect for that role and families. So thank you, Candice, for playing that role and coming through it.

Candice Wu 1:24:08

Oh my god! No, I’m starting to think about black sheep in a broader context too, because originally when you said are you the black sheep and I had read your post referring to your brother, I started to think about black sheep in this sort of identified patient kind of way. You know, that language comes from the world of psychology and counseling. Like when a family says, we need help because so and so has a problem in our family, they could name one person as the one with the problem and yeah, I often think of that person is maybe the black sheep and that they have a lot of, they can typically have a lot of symptoms or maybe there’s alcoholism or there’s something that becomes very severe that the family cannot continue to look away; and I wouldn’t say that was me.

Candice Wu 1:25:14

I mean, the worst thing I ever did was, and it’s kind of bad, when I was 16, I got a speeding ticket for 51 over the speed limit. Yeah, it’s a lot. I don’t know, yeah, it was crazy. I never drove that way again but that’s probably the worst that I ever drove and so I couldn’t relate to it in terms of being a certain kind of like, severe set of symptoms or experiencing rebellion in a way that is very like oppositional or something like that but I think that’s the way I’m seeing now can be helpful for anyone that doesn’t perhaps relate to that kind of experience too, you know, and as you’re talking, Nick, that there are parts of us that feel like black sheep, there might be a part of us that we can connect with — has felt like it’s been black sheep, so to say. Maybe that’s just shame, you know, where we feel shame or —

Nick Werber 1:26:29

Well, I love that, it’s that perhaps the part of us that doesn’t feel like it belongs is actually the part that is bringing something to the world. You know, we don’t belong because something that we are, it’s not here yet, it’s not accepted yet but actually, if we can find acceptance with it in ourselves and just and share it and be it, then we actually are giving something to the world we’re hoping it, you know, by including more.

Candice Wu 1:27:07

Yeah, so we can find our inner black sheep, and parts of us that don’t feel like they belong, those are the most essential to the entire wave of evolution and the dreams of the ancestors of all kinds.

Nick Werber 1:27:27

Wow, it’s like where newness emerges from. Wow.

Candice Wu 1:27:37

That’s nice, Nick, nice. So nice place to close, to feel complete.

Nick Werber 1:27:43

I think there’s no way that we could switch to something else —

Candice Wu 1:27:44

Yeah, we’re done here. We are done, except I would love for you to just briefly talk about your retreat. Yeah, it’s coming out February 14 through the 18th…

Nick Werber 1:28:02

…through the 19th actually. Yeah, so, you know, I know you’ve done many retreats, Candice and I feel very strongly that you know, Family Constellations are beautiful one on one, they’re beautiful in a group workshop setting. But I believe that they take on their most powerful, most resourceful state when they’re in a retreat setting, there’s something about gathering with the group and being in that container for multiple days that just the energy just builds and I see it in my own facilitation. I mean, these the retreat work, I think that’s beautiful, and so, —

Candice Wu 1:28:55

Yeah, absolutely.

Nick Werber 1:28:56

Yeah and you know, I knew, and I know this because we met at the intensive, which is a form of a retreat, which was a super powerful and I think meeting you as a part of what made that so powerful for me

Candice Wu 1:29:11

Same here. Yeah, it’s huge

Nick Werber 1:29:16

So, yeah, so this retreat, it starts we’re going to be in Mazunte, Mexico, which is Southern Mexico, and it’s overlooking the Pacific Ocean, and it’s just a really beautiful place. Again, you, it’s like you can walk five minutes to the water, and we’ll be doing Family Constellations work and various forms of Shadow Work. The stuff that, you know, it really goes back to what we were talking about at the beginning of this call of, you know, when you set these intentions, you will meet certain barriers and at that point, you know, it’s important to call in your resources. So all the work we’re doing is literally to meet you at that point is, you know, resources that help people actually do the work of chipping away and doing the integration and processing with these barriers. So we’ll get there on Friday and be doing that work on this beautiful terrace that is kind of open-air and I’m just, I’m super excited about it because these groups come together and it’s just people leave as incredible friends and I still see from my past retreats, you know, people basically communicating with each other that I know had met at some of the work that we have been doing.

Candice Wu 1:30:44

That’s awesome. Yeah.

Nick Werber 1:30:45

Yeah.

Candice Wu 1:30:46

It sounds beautiful, and what a great time to you know, if you live in the Midwest or somewhere called to get out into a little bit of warmth and get the fire on the inside.

Nick Werber 1:31:01

That’s a big part of it. Yeah, that was a big part of why we reschedule it, you know, there’s going to be really beautiful deep work going on. But there is a lot of space built in to just go chill on the beach, which is, you know, just as important, and the weather I think is like, you know, the mid–80s basically, winter.

Candice Wu 1:31:28

So good.

Nick Werber 1:31:29

Sounds pretty good to me.

Candice Wu 1:31:31

Awesome. Where can people find that retreat, Nick?

Nick Werber 1:31:37

So if you go to my website, which is just NickNWerber.com, you can go there or my Instagram is @nwerber (instagram.com/nwerber), and then all of its actually being hosted through Maha Rose, which is this incredible organization that’s based in Brooklyn, and that’s of Maha Rose’s website, www.maharose.com is another place where you can read up about it.

Candice Wu 1:32:06

Thank you so much, Nick. This was fun, and do you feel like we, you? Yeah. How did we do on our intentions?

Nick Werber 1:32:19

I think we did great, and I really am. I think we did well, because I really, that it was funny that moment where you said, I think we have to close there was actually the moment where I had felt a sense of, oh, wow, I actually this is, it’s the exact kind of subject that I will spend the next few weeks thinking about of. You know, all those places where I don’t feel I belong, of which there are many, you know, is that possible? That’s just something that’s emerging that the world can I respect it in that way. So I think there is a fullness that I feel when I just connect to that right now, so I think we did well and, you know.

Candice Wu 1:33:04

Absolutely, yeah, to each their own of their experience and yeah, I’ll be thinking about that too, and it’s kind of like a twist on something I’ve been doing for some time. But the words are so poignant now like all the ways I feel that I don’t belong now or maybe in the past, yeah.

Nick Werber 1:33:33

Yeah, well, it’s so, you know, obviously, the reflex of way to experience that is it’s just the opposite. I don’t belong and there must be something wrong with me and all the stuff that we talked about. So it definitely is turning an idea on its head in a way that you know, I don’t know about you, but the moment I connect with it, I just, I feel that sense of my body relaxes and I feel clearer and you know, for me, it’s all the signals that there’s —

Candice Wu 1:34:03

Yeah, same here. I feel that playfulness that I was wanting about it, to approach it with playfulness. It’s a fun process to think about it in this way and I learned so much. Thank you, Nick.

Nick Werber 1:34:23

Thank you, Candice. I feel like we can do this again.

Candice Wu 1:34:26

We still have to talk about all sorts of things like letting — like, kind of

Candice Wu 1:34:33

I love that topic, that was the ones that kept me up and what we resist persists. Like how just looking at that in different ways and through the body. So yeah, a little teaser for our next podcast whenever that comes, but let’s do it.

Nick Werber 1:34:52

The perfect cliffhanger for now.

Candice Wu 1:34:55

Thank you, Nick. Okay, definitely see you next time and just want to say one more thing, actually, thank you so much for offering the music for the Embody Podcast, the intro and outro music. I still use it. It’s still on every single podcast and you created it. It’s so lovely.

Nick Werber 1:35:17

I know. I love it.

Candice Wu 1:35:18

Thank you.

Nick Werber 1:35:20

Thank you. Thank you very much. I’m so glad.

Candice Wu 1:35:26

I’m so grateful for Nick’s presence out in the world, and what he’s doing in support of other people, and in growing the work of Family Constellations in his unique way. It’s really beautiful to be challenged by his work and to learn and grow from it and also to exchange in the ways that we do as friends and as colleagues. Thank you so much, Nick, and thank you all out there for listening. I hope this does give you something to nibble on as we close today. Be sure to check out Nick’s website if you’re interested in his work or the retreat coming up, and his Instagram where he shares a lot of his writing, and again, his website is nicknwerber.com, and you can find all of the links at the show notes related to this episode at candice.com/nickparttwo.

Candice Wu 1:36:24

And as we send each other forward into this new year 2020, this is already been quite a long podcast, so I’m just going to pretty much close it out from here and send you off with of course Nick’s lovely intro outro music if you’re interested in staying connected, you can feel free to sign up for my newsletter at candice.com/embody where I share all about the podcast, and the experientials, and meditations that come out as well as events, self-love notes, and updates about me. Thanks so much and see you next time on the Embody Podcast.

Candice Wu 0:00

As a gift, Nick Werber has offered one of his favorite audio meditations on the subject of consenting to people and the present moment as they are. The meditation is originally written by German psychologist, Bert Hellinger, and as read by Dr. Michael Picucci. Dr. Picucci was one of Nick’s greatest mentors before he passed away, and Nick spent a year recording several of his meditations along with the audio version of his book, Vocalizing Source Energy. The content of the meditation gets at universal and enduring truth that our perception of the world around us shapes the world around us. What an honor to have him here on the podcast, sharing this experience with all of you. Though I’ve never met either one of you, Michael and Bert Hellinger, thank you.

Michael Picucci 1:11

This is Michael Picucci. I’m going to recite my own adaptation of a brief guided meditation, originally written by German psychologist, Bert Hellinger. The name of this meditation is Consenting. It is intended to be a deep and meaningful experience.

Before doing so, may I suggest you find a private, comfortable place for yourself, and then slowly find a sense of embodiment and an awareness of your body, perhaps take a few conscious breaths just noticing the natural in and out of the breath. Give yourself a few minutes to notice that we have a live body as well as a mind and let this awareness be an accompaniment to the meditation. As I share the meditation, feel free to let the words wash over you as you are listening to them.

This particular guided meditation is intended to have its own special effects on many levels and dimensions of your experience. Feel free to listen to it as often as it can be helpful to you in finding a better ground of being.

I begin, consenting, as soon as I have consented to other persons as they are, they can feel at ease. As soon as I have consented to a situation, as it is, it changes. It reveals to me new possibilities for action. On an inward journey, I may experience that an obstacle stands in my way. Often, it is something that I have not yet consented to, for example, a pain or loss that I have not gotten over, was something that must be resolved. There is something else to which I must agree, the time that I still need. As soon as I have agreed that I need more time, time leaves me in peace. I may move on.

I experienced something similar with my pain. What happens when I agree to it? When I no longer try to get rid of it? When I take it close to my heart and allow it to calm down in me? When I permit it to take the lead? Perhaps, this pain wants to take me to something that I have lost sight of, for example, another person, maybe this pain guides me back to something that is waiting for recognition and for a solution. Therefore, I stay with this pain as it is the whole time.

With this pain, something recollects itself inside of me. Is it that I pause on my inward journey, in the moment, exactly here? Or is it that this pain is leading me on to a decisive step because I have agreed to it? It takes me by the hand and leads me further and deeper. When I simply surrender, what happens to my pain? My pain, too, calm down and finds its peace. It closes its eyes as if its work is done.

As soon as I agree to everything, as it is, I gain precious time. As I stay in peace with me, something in me and outside of me grows as if of its own accord. These inner journeys are movements of life, I have agreed to everything as it is, I feel free to engage in the essential aspects of life. I may move on in a decisive manner.

These inward journeys of movements of life, what I have agreed to everything as it is, I feel free to engage in the essential aspects of life. I may move on in a decisive manner.

The forces of life first collect inside, only then, do they turn outside. Insights too, a first perceived inside. After that, they set something in motion outside. On our inward journeys, we consent everything as it is, first to ourselves and to our situation, to life as it is, and to the lives of other people. In this way, our inward journeys continue outside as well.

Our journeys to source energy, open other space for us inside. Rilke calls this space, the inner space of the world. In this space, we relate to life in a more comprehensive way, we see it differently, and we become different. After this, we return to our own space, changed, and we turn toward our everyday lives, changed. What is the nature of this change? We are in its service, a line with enough love.

Candice Wu 0:00
This episode is about ritual, the practices that we do in our lives that make us feel connected, beautiful, whole, and free. And when is ritual at its best. I talked about some of the rituals that I have, as well as those that come from my ancestry and invite you to do the same.

Candice Wu 0:23
Hello and welcome. You're listening to The Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, embodied healing, and self-love.

Candice Wu 0:37
My name is Candice Wu and I'm a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist, sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 0:59
Speaking of ritual, one of my most favorite and deepest rituals that has stayed with me, across time, in and out sometimes, but always comes back is working with my dreams, have been fascinated with my dreams from the first time that I remember dreams. And it's actually two significant dreams that I had last year that brought me to the feeling of freedom and inspired me to take my first step into a location independent lifestyle. It was these dreams that brought an image of Chiang Mai, Thailand, and invited me to really indulge in the idea of traveling, and Chiang Mai being the first place that call to me. So, as I explored these dreams, it was clearer and clearer to me that I needed to travel and that Thailand was actually the place to begin.

Candice Wu 2:05
It was such a profound and unspeakable experience, when I rode a little one gear bike across this bridge in Chiang Mai, and looked at this river, and saw this image that was practically exactly the same as in my dream. It was so validating and confirming to me that I was following the call with my spirit was following what was true to me. And so, with that, I met an amazing travel partner and traveled the world for this last year with him, created this podcast, released more beliefs that were limiting to me, and found even more freedom in myself this year has been about freedom, all starting from the desire that was shown to me within myself, through my dream world.

Candice Wu 3:09
All this, to say that dreaming is one of the passions that I have. I love working with dreams with my clients because every time we touch in and go deeper, it just opens up this depth of something we already know about ourselves, that was waiting to be fully embraced. So, I'm so excited to share with you these classes, their video classes on dream work and the first one is on Skillshare. It's a platform where you can access all sorts of tutorials, video courses, and classes on any topic. And so, this first class is about awakening your dream life, creating intentions around dreaming, and how to remember your dreams in the best way, the key to remembering your dreams, which is the embodiment piece. So, check it out. If you're interested at 35-minutes long. You can access it at CandiceWu.com/dreamclass1, the number one. And with that link, you can also sign up for Skillshare for free to access this free class, it's free until the end of January 2019. And there's also an offer to sign up for Skillshare for two months for free for the premium membership if you check out that link. Again, it's CandiceWu.com/dreamclass1.

Candice Wu 4:40
Hello, everyone, Happy New Year! By the time you're listening to this, it's already a couple of weeks into the new year. And I'm just wishing you all that you're having the clarity and support for yourself that you'd like for this year. This episode is about ritual. And it's just such a lovely time to think about ritual and bring that into your life if you don't already. And chances are you actually do have many rituals that you're doing day to day, depending on how much meaning you place to them, or attention you place to them. Rituals can be so nourishing.

Candice Wu 5:23
Before we jump into it, let's just start today with a little ritual of tuning in together, letting yourself have this time to listen in and nourish your soul or your spirit or your inner being. And take this time to just let go of whatever the rest of your day includes just the space and time for you. And in connection with me here, I invite you to just sense into yourself and notice how you're doing. And invite yourself to a space of softening in, softening around your edges or where you're holding tension and leaning into gentleness, kindness, and a sense of being that just allows you to be without changing anything, without doing anything, without any pressures on yourself, just to be here and now.

Candice Wu 6:39
Right now, as I'm recording this, I'm still in Germany. And I'll be very shortly shifting over to Ireland where I'm going to be taking care of four horses for a woman who's a nurse. And that taking care of will be quite a ritual because I'll be cleaning up horse poop every day, and feeding, and bringing them back to their stable at the end of the night. And so, this is a daily thing that I'll be incorporating into my life. And I'm really curious how it's going to impact me just doing what's at hand, being in my body, tending to the horses and collaborating with them. And inviting myself to be as present as I can be to the experience of that. I'll also be learning natural horsemanship, which I'm super excited about and somehow feels like it's in my soul to know how to deal with horses, yet, hasn't quite been unlocked in this life yet. So, I'm going to be on that journey and thinking about how I can also incorporate more ritual that can invite my spirit to be alive and present each day.

Candice Wu 8:12
So, what do you think about when you think about the word or the activity of ritual? It's been a question for me ever since one of our listeners has sent me this question, which I absolutely love. If you're out there listening, thank you so much for this question and idea. And the question is, I've been pondering the role of ritual in embodiment, is it the thing that kept cultures in the past embodied? Or is it our lack of it, especially in the US, that's causing us partially to be not so embodied?

Candice Wu 8:51
I love receiving questions like this because it challenges me to think about different angles of what I've learned and who I am, what I see. And I invite you all to do that because it's not that I'm the expert, or this person asking the question is the expert we are each our own experts of what our experience is. And with a ritual that's a very unique and personal kind of experience.

Candice Wu 9:22
I think the biggest question that I have for myself and for you is, what rituals do you have right now? What are they doing for you? and what rituals would bring you in deeper connection and wholeness, peace and love for yourself? If that's what you're looking for, or what rituals can bring you towards that which you desire in your life?

Candice Wu 9:50
As I think about the rituals that I have, there are some that bring me embodiment and some that bring me distraction when I need it. And some that just kept me mindless, as well as some that feel really precious to who I am, and allow me to soften into a space of love.

Candice Wu 10:13
So, you might have already guessed some of those rituals, like going on Facebook and Instagram and just scrolling. That can be a very disembodied kind of ritual. We can take any action, any series of actions or gestures, or performances, and make them into a meaningful experience that helps us get in tune with a feeling, with an experience, with a dimension of ourselves, a dimension of the universe. Or we can take that same ritual and be numb with it, let it be a way to avoid connection with ourselves or with others. Anything can be used in any way. So, the ritual itself isn't necessarily an act of bringing connection and embodiment, it's just where's your attention, and where's your awareness, when you're doing that ritual or activity. Anything can really be a ritual, I think, that's one defining character for a tool is that it's something you do repeatedly, whether that's once a month, once a year, once a day.

Candice Wu 11:29
And it's not exactly characterized by a formality, like that many people are doing this ritual altogether. But it can be a very personal experience. It can be a ritual within you and another person in a relationship, a friendship or a romantic relationship.

Candice Wu 11:52
It can be with your family, something that happens together, or with community, a larger group of people that all acknowledge that this has some meaning, whether that's shared meaning, plus personal meaning, or if it's an agreed upon meaning that happens in a shared space. If we think of ritual through history, through culture, through ancestry, there have been an incredible amount of rituals that have been healing and supportive of embodiment. And so many also that have been traumatic. So, thinking of healing circles, and being in a drum circle, or doing the daily ritual of dream time where you come together and share pieces of dreams, fragments of dreams or stories that you have in your nightlife. And you dream for one another and associate with each other's dreams. That's an experience of ritual that can be incredibly empowering, and bring a lot of life and support embodiments

Candice Wu 13:09
Greetings are ritual, handshaking, or the way that different cultures might greet each other and honor one another when you meet a new person, or when you acknowledge someone that's important, or acknowledge anyone for that matter.

Candice Wu 13:28
Meditation can be a ritual, the act of being still going inward. The different practices that one might do like yoga, movement of the body with awareness, dance, Chi Gong or Reiki and way on the other end our rituals that have been traumatic to the body or traumatic to the spirit.

Candice Wu 13:55
Different rites of passage like circumcision or mutilation of body parts to signify a transition into the next step of life. Perhaps that gives a sense of belonging and movement forward transition, yet it also to the body can be extremely painful, scary, and just our natural instincts of protecting the body and the integrity of the body can turn on and leave a scar can leave a shift in the nervous system that tells us that we're not quite safe, or we weren't at one point. I was looking at different rituals and different cultures that were interesting and different. And if not the experience that makes something dramatic, it's whether the person had a reaction that was incomplete or unresolved around it if it was overwhelming or scary. So, not all of these experiences might be that way.

Candice Wu 14:57
One of the things I found was on Easter Sunday, churches in Tilos, Greece, shoot fireworks at their opposing churches to hit the bell of the other church. And there's also a story of Muslims and western India, in a town of Solapur, they line up their babies off of a 15-meter tower in a shrine and catch them with a white sheet. This ritual is taken place for more than half a millennium, according to BBC, and it's believed to make the children grow up healthy and strong. And the claim is that there haven't been any injuries during this ritual for over 500 years. And what we know about babies nervous systems is that they're not fully developed. They're just beginning and they need the support of loving, attuned and regulated caretakers to support their nervous system to develop so they can self-regulate. And the experience of being dropped 15 meters might be terrifying. We don't know, but it also is a nonverbal experience. So, the babies can't quite tell us if it was scary other than with their emotions if that's something that they feel permission, and safety to do, which is all a very intuitive and sensing experience.

Candice Wu 16:26
If you have the message in a family that crying isn't okay, and you must be strong and not cry, the baby might not cry. So, this is generalizing a lot and assuming a lot, but that is one experience that a baby could have while being dropped 15 meters. Well, this is not my culture and I don't have the proper understanding from within the culture to truly give honoring and meaning to this ritual, I just want to bring light to the idea that some rituals might have a benefit. And some also might have a wounding effect if something is not resolved about it. There are also some other modern types of ritual that we might consider in our idea of virtual like hazing in a fraternity or sorority or grouping, or the running of the bulls in Spain, or other countries, weddings, there are certain ways that we like to mark a transition or commitment, or an experience a celebration.

Candice Wu 17:42
Christmas can be a ritual the way that you celebrate or not. And all this really leads me to the idea of belonging. When we have a community that agrees upon said rituals or unspoken rituals when there's an unconscious agreement or even a conscious one. If we are part of this greater experience, we can feel like we belong here, that we are part of something we're not alone. And this shared experience can be so powerful. But at the same time, shared experiences like that if there isn't the flexibility to be oneself, and to speak and express the truth of oneself and how you feel. It can be extremely stifling, shaming, or a feeling of guilt to step out of the bounds of what is the agreed upon experience, to step out of the sphere of belonging, what makes you belong within a group. And so, if there is pressure to do a ritual, or to believe in something, or to do something that doesn't feel right to you individually, then that pressure can cause a traumatic experience. It can bring shame, it can bring fear, to really be yourself and speak up for what feels right for you and aligned for you. So, I think this happens on very subtle and over levels in society, as well as within our family systems. Just think about what are the things that you feel are right, or interesting for you, that you might fear judgment from a certain group of people, you might fear judgement from your family or fear what they would do, maybe you don't even let yourself have the thought of doing a certain thing, or having a certain experience or believing in something because the people that you grew up with, or the community that you were embedded in, doesn't believe it.

Candice Wu 20:04
We can obviously see that very clearly with experiences of difference of sexual orientation, of gender, identity, all of these can bring up that kind of experience of stepping out of the spirit of belonging. So, where does ritual fall into this? What are the rituals of your family system that you love? And what are the rituals of your family system that don't fit with you and that you'd like to do differently?

Candice Wu 20:41
Some of the most beautiful rituals that I've experienced in my life come from family constellations. That's part of why I love doing that work because it brings an honoring and acknowledgment of what truly is existent, what's the truth. Where someone belongs and fits into the world. And something as simple as a mother, looking at their daughter, and stating that you are my daughter, you are my child, or for one part of the ancestry or a person to acknowledge of another person, exactly who they are and how they are, how they want to be seen, honoring our position and our role, giving us clarity and anchoring us to a sense of belonging, but also giving the freedom to be and do it exactly the way each individual wants to do it to honor one's fate, to honor one's choice and autonomy and freedom. In family constellations, we set up experiences where we can do that kind of honoring and acknowledgment and whether it's with the real people or not, whether it's with strangers or not, we can use the power of that acknowledgment for our inner acknowledgment to strengthen and fortify what we acknowledge within ourselves.

Candice Wu 22:15
Some of the most connecting and important rituals for me have been around loss, death, and grief. How do we honor grief together, and individually? Can we be together in a space where all of our emotions can be seen and integrated, acknowledged, and honored, treasured, even.

Candice Wu 22:40
So, I feel that ritual at its best brings us towards a feeling of being and honoring ourselves, a sacredness, of beauty and of connection. A connection that brings congruency to your inner and outer being, something that you can do that supports you and feeling embodied, feeling the truth of your being, your wholeness, or something that bonds and links humanity together and shared purpose and acknowledgment that may be between you and another person or a small group of people, or with a larger group and community. Ritual is also a celebration and honoring, of something of an experience of a way of being, a celebration of yourself in who you are. And just that you exist, aliveness. It can be mindfulness, just being aware of your presence, and treasuring your breath each moment.

Candice Wu 23:52
I believe that ritual supports belonging and freedom to be oneself at the same time at its best, that it has the space for unique expression, as well as the sense of connection with others and with self. And it can be a very co-creative process, a collaborative process between self or others to find what is unique and special, what has meaning, and what feels just right in the moment, letting it evolve and breathe over time.

Candice Wu 24:26
The power of our attention, where we place our attention is so strong. And the more we dip into something that's important to us, the more fortified it becomes. So, when we design something and allow it to be a ritual in our lives, the more that it happens, the more we choose to, to give it its meaning and to feel its meaning. The more strengthened it is, the more beautiful it can be. But to leave that space where it can transform into a new form matter, a new shape. So, I'm most interested in creating and engaging in rituals, that means something to me, and are nourishing for me, as well as bring me a feeling of honoring myself and some purpose that feels right to me at the time. Rituals can be clearing of the past or healing. Rituals can be identifying and acknowledging. So, why are we doing what we're doing? Why are we doing this ritual? And how are we doing it? – are two important questions.

Candice Wu 25:37
Honoring ritual in this way, honors that each of us are such unique beings that we come into this life with a very specific imprint, an energetic signature, a desire to do what's very meaningful to us to learn the lessons that we want to learn, to experience what we want to experience, and what can support us along the way. What small and simple actions or act? What practices and what acknowledgments can bring us towards that which is our self and reveals our self?

Candice Wu 26:25
So, before you take some time to explore your own rituals if this is of interest to you, I'm happy to share some of the rituals that I have, and that I have had in my past as well.

Candice Wu 26:38
For me, most of the rituals that I have incorporated the body at this point in my life, I love feeling and being in my body, and using actions to support that. It wasn't always this way in my life. I remember early on just learning to journal, and using my mental capacity to reflect on myself was a start. Also, talking to my friends on the phone and exploring themes of my life. That was also part of the beginning. But as it got deeper and deeper into my healing, I felt that the embodied practice, the feeling inward of all of my being was really important. When I began learning Ayurveda, I fell in love with Abhyanga massage. It's a warm oil massage from head to toe touching in on all sorts of karma points, or acupressure points that can stimulate the energetic channels in the body and support feeling in the body, support the body being present, and taking care of. And that was what it was, for me. It was taking care of myself. It was feeling into my body and getting to know each part of my body. Where was I holding tension? How did it feel to massage each part? What allowed something to release and soften in my body. And how did I feel afterward? And just enjoying that. I come back to that ritual from time to time and brings me a feeling of connection and love for myself. And same with having a salt bath with Epson salt or Himalayan salts, just letting my body be in the water, be in warmth, and enjoy it is a really loving thing to do.

Candice Wu 28:33
At some point in my life, around eight years ago, after I'd started doing some deep healing work, I was able to connect with what I was feeling inside and speak it to other people. So, one of the rituals that I had for myself was to sense into that each time I was with someone and to speak honestly about what I felt. And that became just a moment to moment ritual.

Candice Wu 29:01
I enjoy connecting with what I feel and allowing myself to listen, ask myself what I need, and to imagine the healing I need. So, healing rituals are very important for me, just being quiet, tuning in and feeling inward. And then letting whatever process I intuitively need come through.

Candice Wu 29:29
When I have healing sessions with others, like my clients, or couples and relationships, retreats, or group sessions with several people, I open the space with love and open the space of connection with all of our relations that want to give us wisdom, all the parts of us that wants to come through and be honored. And to have an experience of tuning in together like that really brings forward understanding clarity, compassion and gentleness and this feeling of being in touch on a spiritual level. I also like to use my pendulum a lot. That feels like a ritual to me because it feels like I'm getting in connection with a deep knowing in myself. And I can let it be confirmed or disconfirmed with my pendulum. So, if you know that practice, it's using something like a stone or necklace, or an object on the end of string or chain to let the body tell you if it's a yes or a no. Related to applied kinesiology are being our muscles, our whole energetic system either resonates with something or doesn't. And I've loved asking myself questions when I'm making decisions or when I'm just tuning into what I need to do today.

Candice Wu 31:04
There was a time in my life where I was feeling into love and beauty, appreciating myself and the Lotus Mudra was something that gave me that feeling. You can look it up online, and I'll attach it in the show notes as well. The Lotus Mudra, the movement of that was so special and pleasurable. And then that end position of the hands underneath the chin opening up like it's a lotus to your face. It was just such a way to honor my presence and being. So, I spend a lot of time when I wake up and at night before I go to sleep, visualizing and embodying the energy of what I want to cultivate in my life or to be aligned with and just vibrating in that energy as I fall asleep or as a wake-up.

Candice Wu 32:00
And as I speak to this, I also notice that as I've traveled this here, and in the last couple of years, as I've learned how to feel more into the safety of my body and let my nervous system come down and release what it's held for years and years. One ritual that I do is I just notice my surroundings and recognize in my mind and my body that I'm safe. And that allows whatever fears I have to start to shift to trickle down and allow me to become aligned with the present moment.

Candice Wu 32:44
Other simple rituals I have her having tea with myself or my partner, making something warm to drink that feels nourishing to my body. And I imagine as I go to Ireland and work with horses, that I'll have different rituals that I'm bringing forward and using as I'm connecting with horses and building trust, developing the relationship with horses. The first thing I do is just make sure that I feel embodied and check in on how I'm feeling inside. And that greeting with a horse that allowing connection to build. I'm curious what will come of that and what I'd like to create with that as well. And what the horses will tell me about it.

Candice Wu 33:29
One last word to I want to mention today is connecting in with my spirit's song and dance. In the last few years, a lot of emotions have moved through, a lot of healing has happened to close up pieces of all sorts of parts of my life. And some of those have been traumatic, and some of those have been very healing and celebrating. But what's brought me back to this remembrance of who I am and the sacredness of my specific being is tuning into that spirit song or soul song and dance. I just visualize the dance of my soul, the dance of my being, and what sounds or song goes with that. For me, that brings me to an acknowledgment of who I am at the essence because it's so nonverbal. And sometimes I let myself just imagine it and feel into that energy. And other times I let my body move, where I play a song that resembles some part of the feeling that I want to have, the feeling that connects me with my soul song.

Candice Wu 34:49
And if I brought in my ritual set to my ancestry, what comes through now is the rituals around food and what food can mean for different times of the year and what we're honoring During the time of the winter solstice, my mom usually makes dumplings and sticky rice ball soup. I don't know if that's what it's called but that's the best thing I can call it in English. But it's made of lots of vegetables and a meat broth. And we roll up these sticky rice flour balls, they're kind of like dumplings, they're bit chewy. And we make this into a soup and those circular balls. And also other kinds of dumplings that we eat represent wholeness and connection being together.

Candice Wu 35:42
I also love the experience of honoring my ancestors by going to the cemetery with my family and celebrating this person's life, our relationship with this person and bringing all the foods that they loved to them, and offering it to them wherever they are. So, sometimes that's bringing drinks, coffees, teas, and other drinks that they like, bringing different foods that they loved when they were alive, and burning paper money. Sometimes, people go really over the top with it and bring a huge feast. My family and I like to keep it simple, but clear to what the person loved when they were alive. It's really sweet and fun and delicious. So, these are just some of the rituals of my ancestry and myself over the years. And let's take some time, I invite you to notice and get connected with what makes you feel connected, beautiful, whole, peaceful, or still. What makes you feel joy or tune with yourself.

Candice Wu 37:04
Are there activities, rituals, practices, small actions that bring you to feel pleasure and freedom, or to uncover more of yourself? What sounds, actions, smells, experiences make you feel like you're returning home to yourself? And I invite you to just notice throughout this week, throughout this year. What kinds of things bring you to that feeling of yourself and connect with the purpose that you have in each time period of your life? It's really about noticing those things that have meaning to you. And giving them, even more, honoring and presence so that they can, can you to give you life and to nourish you.

Candice Wu 38:06
And remembering that this is all a practice, it's coming back gently when you have forgotten or when you've lost connection with something that means something to you a ritual that means something. I stopped doing Yoga, Yogasana, like practicing poses for a couple of years. And even though I teach it sometimes, I don't always find that I'm connected with it for myself. But in the last few weeks, I've really renewed that connection and it feels so good to just be in my body, feel my muscles stretch, feel what's coming through and the emotions that move with it and to really use it as a tool to release to get in touch with my truth and to be soft, gentle and loving to myself. So, with this new year setting into motion, what rituals you want to have for yourself? Can you just choose one small thing that you give presence and attention to? Is brushing your teeth in the morning with a special toothpaste or oil pulling in the morning a ritual that you can do to support your body to give yourself wellness or to feel healthy? What small thing brings you the pleasure that you can acknowledge in yourself as a ritual?

Candice Wu 39:47
My teacher Jim Kolakowski said that the purpose of life is to give meaning. And that suggests that nothing really has meaning. But what we get to it. And our human existence is offering all the freedom in the world, in the universe to give meaning to the things that we want to give meaning to, and to acknowledge the places where we've given meaning. And those don't align to our present day self anymore. They might be a part of the past, or might be a part of an unconscious part of us. But as we bring things to awareness, what meaning do we want to apply?

Candice Wu 40:32
Totally taking up our freedom of possibility. How can ritual support you in your own freedom? How can it be an expression of your inner possibility, in our authority, and inner knowing?

Candice Wu 40:57
So, in the next few days, I will be offering a few simple rituals that you might incorporate into your daily life. These rituals will be tuning into yourself and asking what you need most right now. I'll also offer a practice of self-massage, choosing a part of the body to support, nourish and get to know a part of the body that maybe is calling or crying for healing.

Candice Wu 41:27
And there may be another one, a surprise one. Let's see what I come up with for the rest of this week. So, feel free to tune in. And also share with me your rituals. What are the little things that you do for yourself? What are the big things you do for yourself? What rituals are you connecting with, with loved ones? What rituals bring you a sense of identity and community?

Candice Wu 41:55
As we close today, I want to offer just a couple of breaths here together, a moment to just integrate any part of this experience, this conversation that sticks with you now that resonates, that you'd like to explore. And I invite you to give a feeling of honoring to yourself, a thankfulness to yourself, gratitude. Just a couple of moments of appreciating yourself for all that you are, for your existence.

Candice Wu 42:57
And as we close today, I want to remind you all of your worthiness, your worthiness to receive the pleasure of the actions you take in your life, the worthiness of choice, the freedom that you have to create what you want in your life. Create the actions and rituals that feel good to you. And that express your inner being, and that field truthful to you. And let's embrace that freedom together. The freedom that we each have, the freedom that allows us to be ourselves that is not connected to any race, any gender, or sexuality. It's the freedom of our human existence.

Candice Wu 43:56
I want to thank you all for tuning in today and for offering up your time and space to receive something from these podcasts. If you're listening in for the first time, I invite you to check out the other podcasts that have been published all year. And all of these are designed to focus on one topic, one specific topic. And each topic might bring some guided healing experiences that you can feel into and practice with me, or meditations that I offer, all to support you in whatever it is that you're moving through on your life journey. Each podcast has a little update of where I am. So, that's more present time. But all the topics are meant to be able to be used at any time. And to be repeated like a ritual if something really resonates for you, for a time or for life, whatever feels right for you.

Candice Wu 44:58
If there are topics that you'd like to hear about on the podcast, feel free to reach out to me at CandiceWu.com and if you want to be informed of the podcasts of self-love notes, updates, as well as the offerings that I have, retreats, the dream class that I mentioned earlier, you can sign up for my newsletter at CandiceWu.com/embody. And be sure to check out the dream class that I mentioned earlier.

Candice Wu 45:27
I love dream work and it is one of the most beautiful rituals that I have for myself to tune into. My dream world has brought me so much – wisdom, life, knowing of myself and love for myself as I explore all the dimensions. Sometimes, dream work can be uncomfortable. It brings forward dark parts of ourselves the shadow aspects, but this is what is life-giving, it's an energy that wants to be reclaimed. And the dream classes that I'm creating on Skillshare are going to dive into that exploration. So, stay tuned for that you can check out the class that I have already. That's for free until the end of January 2019 at CandiceWu.com/dreamclass1, the number one. Thanks so much again, and I'll see you all next time on The Embody Podcast.

Introduction

Welcome to one of the rituals that I want to share with you with this series about creating a ritual that’s meaningful and conscious for you. You can find the full episode introducing this topic at CandiceWu.com/ritual.

Today, we’re going to do a basic ritual, something that you can do in the morning when you wake up or sometime in the middle of the day, just to check-in and it’s to support your heart, gain clarity on what you need to focus on today, and what you most need or desire.

What I find is, the more that you practice this, the more you build that relationship with your inner self, with your intuition and the more answers that you get, the more clarity you do find day-to-day.

Simple Ritual Practice

So, if you’re ready to practice with me, go ahead and find a comfortable place to sit. If you’re in public transit, that’s okay. I do recommend being in a private and quiet space at best, but it’s something that you can do on your way to work or wherever you’re headed, but if you’re driving, I would not recommend doing this now.

Let yourself feel into your body and release the day so far, just letting your attention on any stressors go for now.

Become aware of your breath and where your breath reaches in your body. Notice where your breath does not reach.

Feel whatever your body is sitting on, and imagine allowing your body to be even heavier and more grounded than it is now

Notice where your body can release just a little bit, and also, notice the parts of your body that feel resistant or tight.

Connecting into the Heart

Bring your palms together, palms to touch in front of your chest and the thumbs touching the center of your chest. This lets all of the major energetic channels connect through the hands, especially the heart.

Take this moment now, the sense into your heart. Picture the shape of your heart, and notice any tension around your heart or inside. Feel for any sensations at the heart and acknowledge any emotions that you feel.

If you’d like to continue tuning into your heart, stay here with palms together.

If you feel like your heart needs a hug or you need some compassion, gentleness, kindness or tenderness to yourself, take your hands and clasp them together with fingers together right at the heart, and feel the difference between palms together and the hands clasping here.

And as you breathe, send the feeling of love and gentleness, softening to your entire body, especially your heart.

And you might be with palms together or hands clasping, and there’s a third option, from your hands clasping, move the knuckles out of it to create a sphere with your hands, still holding the hands in somewhat of a clasp position but with a hollow inside between the hands, like a circle.

This position is to release any stress. So, if you feel like you need to release stress, release emotions, allow things to pass through and move on. Go ahead and clasp the hands and bring them to the spherical position of a clasp.

Notice how that feels for you, and feel free to return to palms together, on this clasp being or shifting to this open clasp at any time you want to try something different.

Notice any emotions or sensations that are happening inside, where there’s any holding in your body or release, and as you feel into what’s here in your body, picture what it looks like. It has any color, texture, size or shape, and now come back to palms together with the thumbs touching the chest.

Inner Intuition and Listening

With an open and curious approach, ask yourself: What do I need most right now? Just listen for any responses or images that come to you. What do I most need right now?

Acknowledge anything that you receive from inside or thoughts that flash in, and if nothing shows up, stay curious and open. What do I most need right now?

And now, let’s ask a second question: What do I most need to focus on today? And again, just listening, witnessing inside without any judgment. What do I most need to find focus on today?

And our last question: What do I desire today?

Whatever comes to you, just acknowledge that, even if it’s a whisper or a flash of a thought, those are the ones that usually come from our intuition or something inside rather than the thoughts that are of us thinking and belaboring, and analyzing.

So, as you breathe now and just acknowledge any messages you’ve received about what you need to focus on or what you need today or what you desire today, thank yourself for tuning in and asking, for connecting with yourself and building that loving relationship with yourself, and feel into what you can do for yourself based on these responses, based on the information you have now.

Imagine the possibility of taking action, words, any of the information that you received about what you need, want or what you need to focus on, whether that action is not doing anything at all and taking the space for that or taking another type of action to support yourself.

And as you complete this practice, begin to move your body or stretch the way it wants.

Take some deep breaths, refreshing your body and rejuvenating, and begin to open your eyes if you have them closed, and let yourself move forward with the next step of your day.

Thanks for practicing today, and I’ll leave you with a little music so you can transition. Be sure to check out the other rituals that will be offered this week, and I hope that this helps you begin to create your own rituals.

See you next time on the Embody Podcast.

Introduction

This episode is a healing meditation to bring power and alignment using three of the main chakras.

If you’re feeling scattered, anxious, unsure of yourself, lost, or you just want to feel grounded, centered and embodied, this is a great way to start your day or to help you shift gears.

If you’ve got stress through the day or you’re working, we can use this practice to collect our energy, to feel into the clarity of our voice and who we are, and to feel in our power.

Hello, and welcome. You’re listening to the in Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing, and self-love.

My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Source Energy

This ritual or practice is something that you can do to help you connect with the source of who you are to be more of yourself to be integrated. This is a practice that I learned from Jim Kulackowski. He is my Yoga and Ayurvedic teacher and he’s deeply spiritual and knows the inner workings of Qigong, Chinese medicine, Yoga Tantra, and integrative Ayurveda and Yoga.

I love this practice because it’s touching into three main chakras and helping us to be so collected in our energy that it creates power inside of us.

When I first started doing this practice, I could not imagine balls of light or energy centers in my body. But with this over time, I was able to see something.

So if that’s you just know that as you practice this, you will experience it differently over time. And it’s a wonderful thing to practice over and over to see what kind of progress is made, what begins to happen and how this might support you in feeling more grounded, and more like yourself.

Let’s Begin

So if you’re ready to join me in this practice, go ahead and find a comfortable place to sit. Feel free to sit in a chair or on the ground and support your hips with something to sit on, if you’re feeling any tension in your hips, legs are back.

If you’re not driving and you’re in transit, this is also something you can do to help you get ready for the day and to be present in yourself.

As you find a comfortable way to sit, feel free to close your eyes or look down if you feel comfortable.

As you bring your attention inward, release your awareness on the outside world. Feel into the power of your own body, your own being just by noticing the outer edges of your body and then bringing your awareness even deeper to the tissues, the muscles, the cells of the body, and even the bone.

Feel the simplicity of your breath going in and out.

And now bring your awareness to your bellybutton. Nabhi chakra, the navel center. This is where your main source of power collects.

Imagine about two inches behind your belly button, that ball of light, the size of a pea begins to form here.

Let this pea-sized ball of light grow brighter and brighter with each breath in and with each breath out.

Let this ball of light grow to the size of a quarter and now the size of a golf ball to the size of an orange, all the way to the size of a grapefruit glowing brightly, boldly and expansive.

If you can’t see that in your mind’s eye, don’t worry this will come with practice. Just imagine you can see this glowing ball of light here.

And now imagine drawing a line of light from this ball up through the center of your body to the center of the chest and let another pea-sized ball of light begin to form. And let this one grow to the size of a quarter, and now to the size of a golf ball.

Connected with the lower chakra. This is the heart chakra.

And see this glowing ball of light about the size of a golf ball, little stronger and sharper than the ball of light below it, but connected.

Now imagine another line coming up from the center of the chest, through the neck, all the way to the soft palate, which is the back of the roof of the mouth. And imagine a ball of light, the size of a pea or a pearl right there at the soft palate, sharp, piercing, and strongly connected with the other two energy centers.

And feel all three centers of energy aligned vertically, noticing the different quality of light in each place. Purple at the top where it’s smaller and piercing, little softer at the heart and even softer but powerful at the belly.

Three Energetic Centers

Imagine that your whole being and physiology is made up of just these three centers of energy.

Picture that your physical body just falls away from this image and that you’re just these three balls of energy connected and aligned.

Continue to picture these three balls of energy aligned as your whole physiology present, brilliant, and clear. Notice the experience of this.

And now allow the ball of light at the top but the soft palate collapse down into the ball of energy at the heart and let that ball of energy at the heart come down to where it began and collapse down into the belly.

And see the ball of light at the belly and let that energy get smaller to the size of an orange and smaller to the size of a golf ball, quarter, and now to the size of a pea or pearl letting it dissolve.

Witness how it feels to be in your body right now.

Notice how your breathing is without any effort and without changing it.

Feel any stillness in your body.

Closing

Stay with this feeling of your inner being while you begin to open your eyes slowly.

Stay connected with this feeling as you move or stretch if you need to, wiggle your fingers, your toes.

Looking around you, become aware of your space.

And as you move to the next thing in your day, feel free to come back to these energy centers anytime to feel your alignment or do the whole practice over again.

End

You’ve just taken about 10 minutes to focus on yourself and align your energy, collect your energy, and to strengthen your energy.

I’m glad you joined me today to do this centering and alignment practice.

If this is something that felt good for you or resonates, feel free to use this in your daily ritual or weekly ritual and you can reuse this recording as many times as you’d like to. Feel free to download it and store it on your computer or your phone for easy access.

You can listen to the full podcast at CandiceWu.com/ritual. There are also other basic rituals that I offer you.

I’ll leave you with just a bit of music here to transition and see you next time on the Embody Podcast.

Introduction

Today, I’ll offer a brief and simple ritual so that you can become more loving and connected with yourself and your body.

This healing experience is part of a greater conversation about creating a ritual. Rituals that feel connecting for you, that are meaningful or support you in a certain kind of energy or feeling that you want to have and to support more love for yourself. You can find the full episode as well as all the other healing experientials and meditations at CandiceWu.com/ritual.

Hello, and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing, and self-love.

My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditation and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Ritual For Self Love

I know how hard it can be to create a ritual for yourself, one that you actually do. And so I am so happy to offer these sample ritual ideas so that you can practice them, see if they resonate with you, build your own ritual or use these so that you can have a practice that helps you feel in touch with yourself, helps you feel the sacredness of your being.

This one, as I mentioned, is a super simple practice of connecting with a part of the body to give it some energy, attention or love and from embodied practices such as Yoga, Ayurveda, or Somatic Experiencing, and other somatic therapies.

What we know is that when we tune into a part of the body that’s holding some tension or discomfort, that may give way to emotions coming through or different sensations moving through the body. It can also release some thoughts that connect up with the space of tension in your body.

It’s as if your body is holding the energy of some way of being or experience, some belief set that can trigger different emotions and thoughts that are locked into that muscle or tissue in the body, locked into the viscera.

So as you do this practice, I’m here to support you. If you need some one-on-one support, don’t hesitate to reach out, I would be happy to support you.

And use this practice as a way to help you guide through any of the things that come up and feel free to take a break if you feel overwhelmed or if you just want to pause for a moment. It’s a brief practice. So we’ll jump right into it now.

Let’s Begin With Movement

So I invite you to tune into yourself now and give your body some movement. See what kind of movement your body wants.

Does it want to stay still? Does it want to move its shoulders?

How about your toes or your wrists? And just allow this movement to help you tune in with attention towards your body.

And as you come to some stillness, feel free to close your eyes or keep them open or looked down. It’s up to you. And allow yourself to notice any shifts that are already happening right now.

One Part of the Body

I invite you to focus in on one part of the body that really needs support. This may be a part of the body that feels emotion. It may be a part that feels some tension, or discomfort, aching and uncertainty, or an unknown feeling.

Place your hands on that part of the body that’s calling your attention and if you’re not sure what part of the body is calling you, you can place your hands on your belly or your heart.

Be soft and gentle with yourself. Feel free to move to a different place if that’s not the right one.

If your head is feeling dizzy or spacey, numb, you might choose to put your hand on your head. You might choose to place the other hand somewhere else.

See what kind of touch or support your body wants right now?

Stay with one part. One part that’s calling you or the place you found that starts to feel good or soothing as you touch and if nothing’s feeling good, just feel what might feel neutral.

Now just stay with yourself as you feel into this part of the body and you feel your hands to touch.

Notice what it feels like, where your hands are touching.

Without changing the tension or discomfort or feeling that you’re having, witness the feeling.

Allow it to be here. Accept it and embrace whatever feeling is happening.

If it’s a challenging feeling, check-in with yourself to see if it feels tolerable or manageable. Don’t override your system by pushing through.

If it feels unmanageable, just release your attention from there and take a break. If it feels like you can stay with it and manage that, stay with yourself even longer.

Stay with your body. Feel as if you’re giving yourself support just like a loving friend, or nurturing person or companion would.

Notice what begins to happen as you stay with yourself and stay with your body, and track anything that changes inside.

Notice any sounds your body makes.

Notice any place that feels a shift or feels different.

Feel how your breath might be changing or staying the same. Just notice a couple more breaths here.

Notice your whole body now and feel free to release your hands if you feel ready.

Feel your legs, your feet, the core of your body that you have your whole body to experience this with.

Tune into what your body feels like now.

Begin to take a deeper breath.

Movement Again

Let your body move just as we began moving in any way it feels good or right. And if your eyes are closed, feel free to open them when you’re ready.

Take a moment to notice how you feel now at the end of the practice.

Give yourself a moment of gratitude for taking time to yourself, for taking time for your body, for your emotions, for things to shift naturally on the inside, for healing to happen.

And if there are challenging things that came up, feel free to come back to these later. Feel free to reach out as I mentioned, if you’d like support.

If there were pleasurable feelings, invite yourself to connect with them throughout the day, knowing that all of this is expanding your capacity to feel your own experience.

End

And as we end the practice today, I’ll leave you with a little bit of music to transition and to support you in shifting gears and moving forward with the next part of your day.

Thanks for joining me today and see you next time on the Embody Podcast.