Candice Wu 0:10

In this episode, I give my first update about my trip to Mexico about some spiritual emergence and crisis that I’m moving through, as well as how to use proprioceptive writing to connect more deeply with yourself and the words that you use, and your unconscious self.

Candice Wu 0:31

This episode contains explicit language and themes that may not be for all audiences.

Candice Wu 0:38

Hello and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing, and self-love. My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability offering meditations and guided healing support and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 1:14

For one month, from February 10th to March 10th of 2020, my dream classes is free on Skillshare. So you can learn all about how to remember and record your dreams, and to uncover and awaken your dream life.

Candice Wu 1:29

This class supports you in building a nervous system that feels safe and embodied enough to play and open into your dream world, plus ways to specifically record your dreams with ease to allow the remembering to come with more ease. So check this out, along with the other Dream classes on Skillshare at CandiceWu.com/dreamclass1.

Candice Wu 1:57

Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Embody Podcast. It’s really interesting to tuned back in here today. I am in Mexico and I have spent about a week in Mexico City, and now I’m in Oaxaca, which is a little more southeast of Mexico City. And, wow, it’s been only a week of me being here, but I feel like I’ve been, in a sense around the world and back.

Candice Wu 2:26

So far, this is my fourth, Airbnb and finally, I have some peace and quiet to be able to podcast. For me, it’s a really interesting thing to look at myself and notice how I’m not completely overwhelmed by the sounds. I’ve had some traumatic experiences with sound and that has very much affected where I’m able to sleep and if there’s noise around me, I don’t sleep well. I get bothered by noises that just are unpleasant or too loud or overwhelming or when I don’t want it. And here, I’ve really embraced the sound to a large degree except for when it comes to podcasting and working with my clients.

Candice Wu 3:16

One of the first things that the first Airbnb host told me was that sound is an essential part of Mexican culture. There is sound to celebrate, there’s sound to communicate and to alert of certain things, different foods, different services, and it’s a part of what holds the heartbeat of the culture it seems. And so, I gathered a mishmash of sounds for you to just tune into. So here’s a blend… [playing sounds of Mexican street life]

Candice Wu 4:15

And lastly, I met a friend who was playing this beautiful guitar music on the streets, in one of the major areas… [playing guitar recorded in the streets]

Candice Wu 4:57

When I heard this music, it reminded me of my father and the guitar he would play when I was younger. So I just stopped and listened and took it all in and recorded it and it since has been really touching me on a deep level and healing my heart in many ways. So shout out to Juan Ignacio who is from Argentina, who is this musician playing his music.

Candice Wu 5:36

My first reaction when I arrived here in Mexico City was that it smelled just like Hong Kong, Indonesia, Chiang Mai all put together with a flair of Spain and Italy, at least in Maroma and like in Bayside area, which I know has that European flavor, but the exhaust, the tropical plants, the smell of different foods and a little bit of sewage, sometimes sounds, it was very heartwarming. And for this whole week, I have met so many kind people that have really held me in this experience.

Candice Wu 6:22

If you listened to the podcast a couple of weeks ago, about solo travel and some of my fears, you probably know that I had to break down some of the fears that I had about coming here around safety. And once I got here, all of those fears just dissolved, granted, I was in pretty safe locations comparatively, but that’s part of it, you know.

Candice Wu 6:48

In Chicago, where I live for 10 years, where many of you all listening are living as well, there are some areas that you just wouldn’t walk down the street in the dark alone or, you might just be a little more careful in certain areas just because you don’t know what’s going on there or maybe it’s unfamiliar, but there are places like that all over the United States that we would just be careful of. And it was just the same exact thing here. And by and large, people were just so friendly, wanting to connect with me. They’re curious about me, and I think because I’m Chinese, they don’t really know what to make of me. They don’t know where I’m from. They’re curious about what language I speak, and quite delighted when I speak any broken Spanish at all.

Candice Wu 7:43

I was really shy at first. I had been practicing with different podcasts, but once I got here, I was just like, I can’t follow what people are saying, it’s going too fast and it took a little bit to be — a little bit of courage to speak up and ask for what I needed, asked for them to slow down or let them know I couldn’t speak very much Spanish just a little bit, but that has been very well received and the smiles that I receive, the mannerisms of kindness here, I’m really appreciating.

Candice Wu 8:26

The biggest thing here, for me, is that I feel like parts of my soul are coming alive. The food, the sounds, as I mentioned, the people, the colors everywhere, the community, the aliveness, and the movement. It’s beautiful and very soulful. I haven’t got myself to try the crickets. I don’t really think I will. But, the Malays, the corn, I don’t eat corn at home or tortillas, but here, I’m eating that and it feels like a really nice, sacred connection to the land, to the people, the heart of people.

Candice Wu 9:08

So while all this is happening, and I’m discovering this place, it is just so happening that I am feeling through another layer of existential emergence or existential crisis, spiritual crisis, whatever you want to call it. It feels like a breaking down of ego, a breaking down of who I feel I am or who I thought it was, and a lot of grief, some anger, some sadness, some longing, and the questions, well, the thoughts that emerge into questions come in this form: Who am I anymore? What am I doing here like, in life in the world? What’s going on? What am I here for?

Candice Wu 10:01

And while all these questions are emerging, I feel that they’re not really to be answered functionally and if they will be answered, they will be through a revealing and through an allowing and emerging. But so far, those are just the words that are coming up with the feelings in the body and feels like I’m just sloughing off a lot of different layers that I don’t need anymore, and letting that surrender that I, so desired happen, letting myself come into more joy and delight and playfulness, and that has been my experience here.

Candice Wu 10:40

I know that astrologically a lot of people are going through different challenging experiences, different layers of themselves, whether or not you follow that. I’m curious where you’re at and how you’re feeling in yourself. What is the experience of your life right now?

Candice Wu 11:00

So, I invite you to take a moment and tune into that here together with me and with all those listening, just taking a moment to listen in word and feel the sensations in your body and what it’s like to be in your body now. And what is the theme of your life at the moment? What are you looking at spiritually or very functionally? And is there anything you need in your life right now to support you or make it a little bit more comfortable?

Candice Wu 12:01

Okay, so this inner listening just brings us to the main topic today which is proprioceptive writing.

Candice Wu 12:08

I recently went on a proprioceptive writing retreat at Hope Springs Institute, which is in Peebles, Ohio, way out in the boondocks, in this wonderful, gorgeous space held by nature. This space is created by Suzanne Stevens, in her vision of creating a spiritual center, a place where people can really find respite and connect with each other, connect with a deeper sense of themselves. That’s my perception of her, her space and what she’s offering. And here, she hosted Mary Bach, who does an annual proprioceptive writing retreat there at Hope Springs.

Candice Wu 12:58

This way of essentially journaling, or tuning in, has given me just another aspect, another way to integrate my experience and the ways that I already know how to tune in intuitively, it has offered me a deeper connection with myself, a feeling that I’m filling up this space in my body, and that I exist and embrace my existence. I feel surer of myself and I feel more present, loving to myself, as well as a deeper and more open space to be loving to others and to see others in their experience and their freedom with a clear boundary.

Candice Wu 13:52

So let me back up and explain a little bit about what proprioceptive writing is, at least to the degree that I’ve learned it and what I have experienced.

Candice Wu 14:03

Proprioceptive writing was coined by Linda Metcalf and Tobin Simon and it’s a way to listen in word, write down what you hear, and then ask yourself, what do I mean by, and whatever word seems to have some energy or tickles you in a certain way, or has a resonance? And then as you ask, what do I mean by this word, what do I mean by, then you listen again and let this stream of consciousness flow through.

Candice Wu 14:40

Proprioception is the perception and awareness of the physical position and movement of your body in space. So the sense that you know where your body is, and different parts of your body are, the awareness inside.

Candice Wu 14:58

So the combination of proprioceptive writing is this idea that we are moving knowledge, the words that we use carry knowledge from our experience. So our language set, our vernacular, the way we use certain words, is all rooted in our own wisdom, our experience, through our personal lives, societal, cultural, collective, and archetypal experience, and past life and lineage, all the dimensions and other dimensions that I have not named.

Candice Wu 15:34

There are ways that experience cannot be put into words but when we do take the time to let the words come through or any a semblance of words and sensation, or intuitive or appropriate receptive experience come through, then we get a chance to define things as much as it actually is possible. And that would be a quite endless process to let all words come to their fruition of meaning for us. But it’s a really fun experience and it was so deepening and it’s something that I’m going to be using for all sorts of things. But, the best thing that I found about it was to do the process of writing and then share it with the group, which was incredibly healing and powerful and validating.

Candice Wu 16:35

And just another thought, because I’m in Mexico and I’m using some Spanish, I’ve often noticed that being in another culture that has a different language set has a frequency that I need to plug into and as I plug into the language, I plug more into the frequency of shared knowledge, of connection, of the way interaction happens. And then, there becomes a sense of built-in meaning, and it can feel when I use certain Spanish words versus when someone else that is native there or has lived there uses that word, it carries something energetically different. For me, it’s a lot more flat because it’s a newer word.

Candice Wu 17:24

So, what do we mean by the words we use? What does each word carry? What does your name carry? What does mom or dad, work? Love? Play? Listening.

Candice Wu 17:45

Any word that you find interesting, what does that come with and not to use this type of writing as a thinking process? But one of — what do I mean by and letting the words come to you, letting the information be received by your listening and observational ear.

Candice Wu 18:09

So this inner listening is the heart of proprioceptive writing and it’s not so different from a lot of the different healing experientials that I’ve offered here or the type of listening inward that I do for myself that I support others in doing. But it is different when you write it down and it’s hard because there’s this weird interaction of having to slow down or allow the — what’s being — what’s coming forward to slow down enough so that it can be written down.

Candice Wu 18:48

And I have found there’s this weaving in and out of different parts of me coming forward. So different parts of me may be speaking and then another part and another part, but this sensing inward, intuiting, channeling, even perhaps, excavating, following the energy, all that is a part of this process.

Candice Wu 19:10

And as I’ve worked with this, just in these last couple of weeks, I’ve even found myself using words more particularly, but not in a belabored way more so in a way that I feel more connected with the word that I’m saying. I’m more personally connected and I feel that this process can lend itself to speaking in a more powerfully resonant and energetic way.

Candice Wu 19:39

I liked that Mary Bach said that we’re looking into every corner, and it’s like taking your eye towards people and looking through and just seeing everything you can see. And what I’m really left with, is this feeling of what is satisfying to me and what do I mean, and what comes through doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else, even when I read it to someone else, when I read it in the group, none of it had to make sense. It didn’t need to be understandable. And that was incredibly freeing because it just didn’t have to make any sense. None of it did. But it meant something to me and it touched something in me. And when I read it out loud, it gave me a feeling of showing up and being seen, especially in things that were more vulnerable, as well as I was more seen to myself, letting a group receive what just came — stream of consciousness — to me, was bringing me to the emotion more powerfully.

Candice Wu 20:51

So the process goes like this, listening to Baroque music for about 20 minutes, lighting a candle in front of you, just allowing that to be a part of the ritual of creating this time and space where this inner listening is to be had and to be received.

Candice Wu 21:14

So if you’d like to try this, you can pull up some Baroque music on YouTube or Spotify or whatever platform you use and set a timer for 20 minutes. You can even invite a friend to do this with you either in the same room or across distance online.

Candice Wu 21:37

And take a couple of breaths as you light the candle and as you ground and feel into your body, as you feel the space that your body is taking up, and after a couple of breaths, listen to any thoughts, words or sense of communication that’s coming through and begin to write. And just let the flow happen as you write down whatever it is that’s coming through without any filter, without any need to make it sound in a certain way, just how it is.

Candice Wu 22:22

And anytime you have a word that just tickles you a bit or stands out, or has more energy to it or calls your attention, pause there and write down: “What do I mean by” and that word that stood out to you. And then listen again and continue writing, recording whatever is heard from inside and whenever that exhausts itself, you can ask that question again and write it down, “What do I mean by” and check out a new word. And it can be a word that comes to you or word within what was just written.

Candice Wu 23:15

And if you feel like you’re getting stuck here in this thinking mode or blocked here, you don’t hear anything or you’re just writing the same thing over and over again, just allow that to happen, notice it. And the teacher of the retreat, Mary Bach would say, to go back to the thing that you touched upon right before you got blocked or you felt stuck, and that there was something there for you that maybe got glossed over or you missed a word that has some vibrancy, and just check out if anything pops up now. And there’s no expectation. There’s nothing to pressure yourself about. It doesn’t have to sound good.

Candice Wu 23:59

So relieving yourself of all that might be part of letting the flow happen and within what can come through, it is a bit like free association. It’s like, whatever is connected with that word might come up to you and things might be surprising, or things might feel ordinary, like, these are your thoughts every day. It doesn’t matter. Just let it all be recorded and observed, and just continue.

Candice Wu 24:32

And when the 20 minutes is up, your timer is up or the music stops, if you have a way to allow the music to just stop at 20 minutes, then finish the thought or sentence you’re on and write down, “How do I feel right now?” The question itself, and then answer the question.

Candice Wu 24:55

And just making an observational note about how you feel now.

Candice Wu 25:04

When I’ve done Dreamwork, I’ve often asked my dream, or the parts of my dream, different questions. So going back into the dream and tuning in, maybe there’s a car in the dream or certain person or a flower, anything, and I talked to that part, and the way that I do that is I write a question with my dominant hand, like, “What message do you have for me?” And then I answer with my non-dominant hand.

Candice Wu 25:38

This often offers the most powerful, poignant, simple, and profound information. So it seems to distill it and it’s coming from a different place we’re so used to writing with our dominant hand. And using the non-dominant hand is accessing parts of us that aren’t typically are more normally conditioned. And that’s something you can use in this process as well, if you want to try doing the proprioceptive writing with your non-dominant hand, it can offer a whole different experience.

Candice Wu 26:17

I recently did this experience with my sister and my mother and it was incredibly powerful. So it wasn’t the way we normally spoke to each other and the topics that came through, actually, each of us were connecting on certain themes, death, our family, moments of life, how we want to live life, those themes were emerging and yet, we each had such a different perspective. And I don’t know that in a conversation, these words or sentiments might have come through in such a pure way. And what I mean specifically is actually after we finished writing, and wrote how we felt on the piece of paper, we took time to read it to each other, which is what I did at the retreat as well.

Candice Wu 27:11

And each of us read what we had written all the way through and if something could be really hurtful to the other person, we were giving ourselves permission to skip that, just so the process can be really safe for each other and that it can be safe to yourself when — whatever wants to come through, wants to come through.

Candice Wu 27:41

And so we read each full piece out loud and then the other people get to react to it, but mostly share any other words that struck them for the reader to continue their exploration.

Candice Wu 28:03

So for example, my sister caught on to certain words for me that I wrote down then and took with me and it gave me some feedback as to what was striking her and resonating with her for me, and what might have some energy for me to continue to listen into.

Candice Wu 28:29

So this next segment of the podcast, I’ll share some of the themes that I had been working with during the retreat and what spilled into my life thereafter, as well as I will read a couple of excerpts from my writing, just to give you a sense of the experience for me. And keep in mind if you do use this process as a tool or try it or play with it, that your experience, your words, your stream of consciousness might sound completely different. And that’s what I found with my sister and mom, as well as the different people in the retreat itself.

Candice Wu 29:15

So if there’s any part of you that has that inclination to compare or have a sort of right way to do it, it’s just not relevant. And what is satisfying to you, as I mentioned earlier, what is coming to you and interesting to you, what is being heard from inside of you, that’s what’s important.

Candice Wu 29:36

So some of the themes that I was working with were sensuality, intimacy, and using these words in particular, remember, extract, erotic, dragon, sleep, tiredness, father, mother, baby, embarrassment, procure, manufacturer, wounds, choke, freedom, flexible belonging, fuck, uterus, kindness, descent, immigration, trauma, pleasure, trust, shadow.

Candice Wu 30:24

And what was really cool about this process was that using the names of people, the word for a friend of mine or a previous lover? “What do I mean by” and their name can bring up a whole experience that helps some sort of integration happen and reveals what’s there about it and also allowed me to look at some of my shadow parts like what are the associations with certain words, then we know what’s loaded into a word when we use it, what unconscious feeling is there, which reveals itself to consciousness?

Candice Wu 31:09

So here’s a piece from my third write?

Candice Wu 31:13

Sleep. What is sleep? A time of quiet rest into a space of nothingness and everything. My dad would disrupt my sleep. This caused so much torture for me all my life. But why does my uncle have the same issue? Did I repeat this experience? Where is the origin of this experience of torture for us? It has a feel of long before us.

Candice Wu 31:42

And another piece, what do I mean by intimacy, being in touch with what is touching the moment? One with the moment, embarrassment, guilt, sweetness, sadness, all, tenderness with it all. No hiding truth. Visual congruence with unseen but layers of this being in contact, the sensuality of the existence we have.

Candice Wu 32:11

And as I asked myself, what do I mean by sensuality, different words came up, but then more personal experiences came up, some sensual experiences that I had had recently that were bringing me into more intimacy and vulnerability, pleasure, sexuality.

Candice Wu 32:31

And so these were some really vulnerable pieces that I shared within the group and that was kind of exciting.

Candice Wu 32:38

And here’s the piece that I wrote later in the retreat, and I use my non-dominant hand, for me my left hand and this is what came through. You are a dragon from another dimension. You read light, digest energy easily because we’re so connected with the land.

Candice Wu 33:01

What do I mean dragon? Breathes fire, playful, flies, scales, wings, long tail, funny, and majestic all at once. From where? Another world. Does not have word name. It is a knowing — dragon tribe.

Candice Wu 33:23

What do I mean by tribe? Bonded to others in a group. This was the most free way to be in a tribe because I was so big I had a lot of place to travel and to wander but stayed near enough, we could communicate from far.

Candice Wu 33:41

So that piece I felt like I was channeling and connecting with some information about me being a dragon in another life and being in this multidimensional experience. Maybe it wasn’t another life, I’m not really sure but another part of me and I do feel another part of me is in this dragon part of me.

Candice Wu 34:08

And it continued, what do I mean dragon? A baby still growing, a toddler now, at one time I died. But I can live on different or is it simultaneous to now? It is now, I suppose. Deeply free and powerful, no need to prove yourself.

Candice Wu 34:29

What do I mean by prove? Do something to provide evidence that my human form has often felt the need to do.

Candice Wu 34:39

The Ugly Duckling is a human story but some get left behind and die and they just do prove to have felt the need to do things to be enough and worthy.

Candice Wu 34:52

Social media tugs on this, it seems to be the currency, achieve, do, show. This is what I’m doing, “how to be with this.” Look at the parts that are up.

Candice Wu 35:06

And then I’ll just read one more piece and this was the most vulnerable piece that I had written and I felt like I was breaking through some unspoken taboos, that was just my felt sense, which was not necessarily confirmed or not confirmed. But I do have a history in my lineage of sensing when certain topics are taboo, especially sex.

Candice Wu 35:40

So that was a similar feeling and similar to feelings I’ve had when I’ve done — when I’ve been part of group relations, work, or Tavistock group work, where the topic of sexuality is in the room like there — people are feeling it to some degree or something’s happening around it and reactions and defenses are coming up so that’s not felt, not talked about.

Candice Wu 36:14

And so, here I am in like, the fifth write. I think it was the night before the last day. And this is what comes up.

Candice Wu 36:26

Fuck. It’s fuck that wants to be here. What do I mean by fuck? Red energy, aka anger, sometimes, and other times passionate, forceful, something that intrudes for a reason, for desire or for boundaries and decent to keep away, to express a feeling of frustration and exasperation, to have sex with passion, to be filled up to the point of intensity. We’re all women here. At least that’s how I think we’re identifying and just as a point of reference that was at the retreat, and it feels dangerous in a way to approach fucking yet, isn’t it a part of us often?

Candice Wu 37:10

This act of fucking or sex? What power does it have? A putting together, remembering provoked physically if it is wanted, I guess or maybe even not, that’s a whole other can of worms `sigh or am I writing this because I have new relationship energy? Is it a relationship? What is it? It is kind of one. It’s what I want right now. The mystery and the pleasure, the joy, and yes, the fuck. But there’s much more than that. Am I done now? You’re not done with me. Okay, what? It’s not soft, it’s forceful and it’s assertive. Know what I want kind of energy. Maybe I can bring this more into my life for fun, for pleasure, joy. Yes. Why not? Not tucked away or unspoken, like it was in my family, and how it can be in my culture, not even a look or holding hands, or it means you must marry. Well, fuck that.

Candice Wu 38:14

Okay, I think we’re done now. And then I moved on to the question, what do I mean by liberation?

Candice Wu 38:23

So that’s all for what I’ll share today. I hope this was interesting for you. It’s actually quite freeing for me when certain things are hard to talk about or maybe they do feel like they have some sort of power in a room or with people I’m sharing with. As soon as I do share it, I feel like I’ve claimed it. And I’ve claimed that I’m more powerful than the themes or the words or the things that are going on. I’m the part witnessing and that topic doesn’t have power over me, or at least there’s this negotiation of that at times where maybe it feels like it has some power and speaking it truthfully decreases and dissolves that.

Candice Wu 39:12

So liberation. What do I mean by liberation?

Candice Wu 39:19

If you are inspired or compelled to practice this, I encourage you to try it or to take a proprioceptive writing retreat or to get the book that is written by the founders of the work. I will link that on the show notes where you can find Hope Springs Institute as well as Mary Bach and Suzanne Stevens.

Candice Wu 39:44

And whether or not you know what you’re doing, just try it if you want to, it’s really just listening in and not driving the car, but watching the train go by and writing it down.

Candice Wu 39:59

I know that this is a verbal experience, bringing some unconscious, unspoken stuff, some felt sense stuff to the surface into words and I’ve struggled with the fact that not everything can be put into words. And we just recognize that and allow for what can come through. And if pictures want to come through, then that can be a very powerful experience too.

Candice Wu 40:30

So, I encourage you to play with it and just see what works for you and if you have questions, feel free to reach out to me and I’ll do the best to answer them according to my experience, and in the next couple of weeks, I will be continuing on my travels. I don’t know where I’m going next. So in about four days, I will be likely leaving Oaxaca, but unsure of the next destination which is a little bit uneasy for me, but I think I’m okay with it right now. We’ll see what happens.

Candice Wu 41:09

It makes me a little uneasy to not know if I’ll have good Wi-Fi to do my quiet work because I love my clients and I don’t like to disrupt that process. But other than that, I’m really just in that surrender mode of, “Okay, show me where I’m supposed to go next and what unfolds for me, what I meant to be doing here.”

Candice Wu 41:38

And along with that, the spiritual emergence and stuff that is coming through and opening my heart up and breaking me open into grief and some vulnerable, creative, pink center of my heart. I’ll keep you posted on that too.

Candice Wu 42:01

Thanks so much for tuning in today. I hope this was interesting for you and wishing you all very well. And that sense of what is satisfying to you. What do you mean by certain words, what do you mean in your life, really feeling into your own energy and body that already exists.

Candice Wu 42:23

Before you go, I’d invite you to sign up for my newsletter that goes out once or twice a month and updates you on podcasts, retreats, workshops, self-love notes and updates about me and travel as well. You can sign up for that at CandiceWu.com/embody. Thanks so much for listening and see you next time on the Embody Podcast.

Candice Wu 0:00

In this episode, I share about how I have approached my travels and living abroad and the next travel that’s coming up, that includes a surrender into sensuality and flow, as well as some solo traveling tips, and how to connect with your body to develop and cultivate instincts and intuition for your own safety. Lastly, the idea that you can change your life at any time.

Candice Wu 0:30

Hello and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing and self-love. My name is Candice Wu and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 1:06

So here’s a little note from my friend Doreen, and she is the creator of Verdant Faerie, these yummy botanical scents and oils. She says, “I highly recommend Candice’s healing work. I love her podcasts and the Ally with Death experience was pretty powerful. I loved the music and of course her voice. My heart slipped out of its crusty burnt casing (like a burnt marshmallow) to reveal a vibrant pink thing. I wondered why I let a single person or event ever take my joie de vivre and vowed to dance and shimmer among the stars. Here’s to new beginnings!”

Candice Wu 1:50

I hope I pronounced that French correctly. I probably didn’t. French wasn’t my class in high school. But, thank you so much, Doreen, I loved hearing about how your heart slipped out of the crusty burnt casing like a marshmallow. Doreen is talking about the Ally with Death experiential audio. And it is this beautiful audio experiential, that supports you in facing your own death, and looking at what would really be important in those last final hours of your death, looking at what beliefs and things have been holding you back in your life? What would really make life meaningful? Who would you spend your time with at the end? How would you spend your time?

Candice Wu 2:39

And getting that push from death really forces us to look at what is important. I actually did this just a few hours ago for myself and just bald, and some really important things came through, things that I didn’t know, that I wanted, things that I didn’t know were that important to me in this exact moment, came through and I thought, oh, maybe I’ll do that coming up. So I don’t know if I would have revealed that or got the courage to look at those things in this way, had I not been going through this myself.

Candice Wu 3:22

It’s a great way to cleanse or to start a new cycle, start this new year, it’s not too late. You can find that experiential at CandiceWu.com/death.

Candice Wu 3:33

When I started doing some major travels in 2017, my first travel started in Chiang Mai, Thailand, and that’s actually where I began the Embody Podcast in February 2018. In that time, that I set out to Chiang Mai, Thailand, I actually wasn’t really going for travel, I was going to create a life there and see how it would be to live for a long chunk of time.

Candice Wu 4:02

So being in Chiang Mai brought me a sense of feeling pleasure, simplicity, slowing down like downshifting majorly and I also met someone that I had dated for then several years thereafter, and then we traveled together, Chris, who’s the editor of the podcast still, these travels led me and Chris to many different countries together and then some places where I went alone. And that included Bali, Indonesia, different areas of Thailand, Perth, Australia, Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, Marbella and Malaga, Spain, Hoff, Nuremberg in Germany, and then I took my own travel to Hong Kong or my family lives, and Ireland, Donegal area. That’s when I was with the horses and cut my trip short, came home in February of the last year — 2019.

Candice Wu 5:07

And in this whole last year, I’ve been exhausted by the movement. So, rounding myself in Michigan and just staying in the Midwest of the United States was just the right thing for me and it happens to be a beautiful time for me and my family. After doing so much healing work in my lifetime, for the last solid, you know, 10, 11 years, and all that my mom has done for herself, gave us the best experiences this year, we’ve had so much fun and I feel like all those years of healing work really paid off.

Candice Wu 5:50

So starting, well, coming into January 2020, a friend asked me, so where are you traveling next? And I said, No, I don’t want to travel. I have no plans to travel. I don’t want to leave, I’m happy and I’m still a little bit tired from last year and the years, the two years I had moved around in different places in the world. And then January 8, specifically, January 8, two days before the lunar eclipse, January 10, I felt a strong impulse and desire to travel again. And I felt like I wanted to be in another world. I felt like the world that I wanted to be in was one of sensuality, sexuality, pleasure, surrendering to my soul and what calls me and following the flow of what my heart craves, and what my body is saying yes to and moving towards. So, I am going to Mexico.

Candice Wu 7:04

I wasn’t so scared until someone close to me said that they were deeply scared for me and wanted someone to go with me and I just freaked out. And then I went into all sorts of research to figure out how I’m going to travel.

Candice Wu 7:22

What’s been really important for me is to discern what is the media’s inflation of fear-based on projection, based on the fact that we have our own shadow parts, the country of the United States has their own shadow that they don’t want to look at, and we can distract from what’s not going well here, what’s unsafe here in our own land, by looking at what’s going on in other countries. Of course, there are dangerous things happening all over the world. I’m really encouraged by several women that have traveled the world and women that travel to many places that speak to safety and speak to different themes around the world that unite us.

Candice Wu 8:09

The first black woman to travel the world is Jessica Nabongo. She’s actually from Detroit, and was on a TED talk in Detroit. And she traveled 195 countries, 89 of those which she’s traveled alone. She speaks to how we assume people are bad people because we don’t know them and we’re encouraged to keep people at an arm’s length. And it makes people feel justified to keep guns and to treat people as something to be feared. And we mostly distrust people based on appearance, race, nationality, and religion. And what she has found is that the world is our neighborhood, and the home is in the people.

Candice Wu 8:52

So she speaks of the world being our neighborhood, in terms of online and offline, the online neighborhood that we create in Social media and also the neighborhood of our earth. And the first woman to travel all countries, so all 196 countries, and she was the fastest person and the fastest female to travel all those countries, and that’s Cassie De Pecol. She did it in 2015 and it took her 18 months and 10 days, and she now talks about peace and how to create more peace and sustainable travel. And she noticed a common thread too, that most people have the same needs. We’re all the same people, she said, and we all want a loving family and that brought her to start to respect other people more.

Candice Wu 9:48

And who inspired me even more powerfully was the youngest person to travel the world by 21 years old, that’s Lexie Alford, and after about 100 countries, the places became so obscure that people stopped wanting to go with her. And in her TED Talk, she spoke about our comfort zones, and getting out of our comfort zone and how much that has lost its meaning, what does it really mean? And that we may be having the wrong conversation about getting out of our comfort zone.

Candice Wu 10:22

Her idea was that we’re sugarcoating fear and how fear, if we defined it or break it down in between our physical, emotional, and spiritual selves, then we can really look at what it is that we’re fearing, and where it comes from and feel the correlation between our comfort zone and body, mind, and soul.

Candice Wu 10:46

She speaks to how fear has played a major role in the defining moments that she’s experienced. And those include: getting malaria in Africa, West Africa, having public anxiety attacks and other experiences that are less than desirable.

Candice Wu 11:02

And as she shared this, I just began to cry. I didn’t know exactly why, but it really touched something in me. And as I sat with it longer, what I felt was this restoration of trust and my own willingness to be in discomfort, to follow myself and to follow what I need to do in this life.

Candice Wu 11:26

She spoke to one of my fears, which is physical danger, either being robbed, or raped or attacked in some way and maybe killed. And she said that in all of her travels, she was only in physical danger at one time and it was in Yemen.

Candice Wu 11:43

One night she heard gunshots and it lasted for some amount of time. She worried that she potentially be kidnapped. At some point, it all stopped and she cried herself to sleep and the next day, she spoke with her one contact in that country, and that person said, Oh, that? That was just a wedding party, because they shoot guns to celebrate. And so for her, it was only scary because she didn’t fully understand the culture.

Candice Wu 12:14

I love her final question in her TED Talk. How uncomfortable are you willing to become to reach your fullest potential? And that really nailed it for me. It brought it home as to why I was crying. It was a release of past fears and sadness. It was bringing me back and restoring me into a deeper knowing and trust that does live inside, underneath the fear. The trust in myself that this is what I meant to do and the right timing and right place will be everything. If I can tune in, and to a great deal, allow pleasure as my compass, allow my body to be the narrator of what I need to do and what I need to walk towards, and walk away from.

Candice Wu 13:09

In all of the countries that I visited, which are far less than 195 or 96, I would say, maybe 20, I’ve only felt physical danger, could have been imminent one time, but it was a kind of light fare. That was when I landed in Sri Lanka and I made a few mistakes. I was kind of naive and didn’t even think twice about my own safety.

Candice Wu 13:38

I was about 27 years old, and I had enrolled in this homestay program where I would teach Buddhist monks English. It was a two-week program, and I would stay with this host family. I landed in Colombo, the capital and it was 11:30 pm, dark. So while I’m on the plane, I’m suddenly struck by the fact that I’ve not even thought about that I’m entering the country in the dark and my host family said that a man would be picking me up and bringing me to a nearby hotel. And then the next morning, we would take the three-hour drive to Gal, which is on the coast. This is the coast where the tsunami hit in 2004.

Candice Wu 14:29

So I just trusted that and so here I am in the plane and suddenly fearing this because I don’t speak Sinhala or Tamil, the main languages in Sri Lanka. Luckily, I had been conversing with this man sitting next to me on this trip from Hong Kong to Colombo, and he was Sri Lankan and he spoke Sinhala and I just begged him and said: “Please. Can you help me? I just realized that I’m nervous about who’s picking me up. Can you just talk to this man and make sure that I’m not going to be in danger and that I’m going to get safely to my hotel room.” And he did so, and I just trusted that he did that, because it was all in another language.

Candice Wu 15:22

And I took the ride alone to this hotel, and I checked in, it was completely quiet. Nobody was sitting at the reception desk, we had to call somebody to arrive to check me in and the driver left. And so I’m getting checked into my room by this young man who seems to be a teenager, and I locked the door behind me, so I’m still doing fine. But then I just thought, who has the key because it’s this outdoor door entrance and could someone just come in during my sleep.

Candice Wu 15:59

I get up a phone call about an hour later and it surprised me because it had already been about midnight and why was I getting a phone call at 1 AM? The boy that had checked me in said, “Miss, do you want some water?” And I said, “No thank you. I’m fine.”

Candice Wu 16:16

Somehow I managed a few hours of sleep probably in the earlier mornings of the night, with the lights on, my luggage sitting on top of a chair pushed up against the door. And when I got into the van that was meant to take me to this host family, there were some Canadians sitting in the car. And for me, that was a relief at that moment just because I had scared myself so much and this was so unknown to me in the dark.

Candice Wu 16:45

I got to the host family and there were several, different young people from different countries visiting and staying with them and also volunteering.

Candice Wu 16:56

One woman that I became friends with for many years after and still now, she had told me a little story that at the hotel, she had someone come to the door, knock on the door while she was there and bring water to her and asked her if she wanted it. And she said, “Sure.” And he said, “Where should I put it?” And she said, “On the table’s fine.” So he comes in, puts the water down, and he closes the door, and she says, “What are you doing?” And he said, “You invited me in. So can we get in your bed or, should we get in your bed?” And she was like, “No!” And she asked him to leave and he ended up leaving. And I come to find out later through her that if you’re inviting a man into your room, that is sometimes considered an invitation for sex.

Candice Wu 17:53

So, I am glad that I did not accept the water and I’m glad that I survived that night and I did learn some things about how to prepare a little bit better and when is a safer time for me in my ability to sense my surroundings? Yeah, daytime, Candice. And I probably would have asked more questions to my host family about who would be picking me up and how things would go so that I just felt more prepared and could feel settled and then use my instincts and be aware in other ways that I couldn’t be because I was so scared.

Candice Wu 18:33

Other than that, I’ve only had one other time in Vietnam that I was scared. I was with my boyfriend at the time and we were catching a bus from a more rural area back to Hanoi. And the hotel said just stand across the street and wait for the bus, you’ll see it and there’s no bus stop or anything. We’re just standing on the street. So we get on the first bus that stops for us. Several had passed by and said no or not, you know, no. And it appeared that they were not going to Hanoi. And so this bus picks us up and it’s like a party bus. It’s the most unique bus I’d seen anywhere in the world. It’s like flatbeds. So you can lie down, and they’re layered and stacked on top of each other. And you have to take your shoes off because they want to keep it clean. And there are these, like, glow lights on the inside that are flashing.

Candice Wu 19:29

And so we get on this party bus, take off our shoes, we climb into the back, and we’re playing chess on my iPad, suddenly, and I had been tracking with my google maps that I had downloaded. Suddenly, I have a man almost in my face pointing at me saying, “You! Hanoi!”, and gesturing to get off the bus. And I think that they had been yelling Hanoi and sending people off. But I insisted on staying on as I was checking my google maps and noticing that we were not in Hanoi, we were only halfway there. I’m not getting off the bus and my boyfriend’s off the bus. So they’re telling me to get off and he’s off.

Candice Wu 20:13

So I felt like I had to get off. And I grabbed my stuff fumbling to get my shoes on, while I’m walking over to this smaller bus that they’re directing us to. I’m the last one on and I’m shoved in and the door closes on my butt. And I look around me, people are filled up in the seats, sitting all over the ground, on the steps. And there’s one man who has a bloody face, like he had been struck in several places. So that freaked me out.

Candice Wu 20:48

And I’m trying to talk to the men that ushered us onto this bus and they don’t speak English, and I don’t speak Vietnamese, so I’m using Google Translate. I asked why did we get on this bus? And he said, something wrong with the other bus, is what I got and gathered. And for me, that felt like a lie. And someone else on the bus said, sometimes they do this. And so, I just began to gather that it was more of a money-making scheme than anything and that bus that was a more expensive bus, the party bus, and the one we were on was really small and obviously they were cramming people in.

Candice Wu 21:33

So I didn’t stop being scared until we got closer to Hanoi, because I thought, where are they taking us? So I’m tracking it this whole time, ready to just like push my way off the bus into who knows where that would be scary too. We ended up being fine, aside from people trying to pull us off the bus so they could give us a taxi ride which I just walk straight through and try to gather myself away from the crowd of those people.

Candice Wu 22:08

Other than that I’ve never felt physically unsafe but I haven’t necessarily traveled to countries that people tend to warn others about.

Candice Wu 22:19

I stumbled upon this article in my research by Kristin Addis. She’s a woman who speaks about solo female travel. This particular article is called, We need to stop telling women they will get assaulted if they travel solo.

Candice Wu 22:34

She speaks to the fact that people of all genders can be told that you’ll be an easy victim, you’ll get robbed or killed in different countries that are more unknown, but women, more often than men are told that they will get raped. She did not speak to non-binary. She did not speak to trans and she mentioned that she would like to speak to non-binary folks In terms of travel tips, but she didn’t have the experience and spoke only to our competency.

Candice Wu 23:07

She wanted to look further into this and her research in pulling travel-focused Facebook groups, she had 1000 responses, 69% reported that they would be told that they would be raped, That’s women versus men. Again, she doesn’t seem to have any trans or non-binary or other gender identities in her experience. She mentions about how reporting data might be skewed because sometimes men don’t report.

Candice Wu 23:36

In one World Health Organization, global and regional estimate report, the number one crime was stolen passports, and that the perpetrator, being someone that the person did not know was very low. And so her conclusion was that it’s very rare to actually get raped. And while the world is not safe for women in general by traveling, this suggests that a woman’s potentially putting herself in less danger than she is when she’s at home. Because typically, rapes happen by acquaintances.

Candice Wu 24:10

She raised a bunch of really good questions, including, is it simply too threatening, whether consciously or more likely unconsciously, to see a woman going against the typical status quo and having more self-agency? Is it abnormal to see that she does not need a partner or a friend or chaperone to journey to another country with, her challenges that when a woman goes against the status quo, it triggers people’s fear of change, and that their discomfort over a life not fully lived, gets poked? And this may explain why women caution other women about the dangers of solo traveler, and that isn’t always from firsthand experience, that they bring that caution.

Candice Wu 24:53

She states that we need to ask why female autonomy is such a scary concept in modern society, and why are we continuing to undermine women. Her words are: “we are killing a budding sense of self-undermining trust, and could we support them in flourishing and trusting themselves to believe in herself and her abilities instead?”

Candice Wu 25:16

So for me, this article helped me discern that difference between what was just fear living there that is unwarranted, and what is the reality based on what some facts are, as well as the reality that I do have instincts and that I can do things to keep myself safer, and that I can sense good connections most of the time and nourish those connections.

Candice Wu 25:49

And a friend of mine who’s from Mexico said that people are very loving and community-oriented. They’ll look out for you if you nourish those relationships and speaking a little bit of Spanish goes a long way.

Candice Wu 26:06

Another friend of mine that lives there who’s from the States, as a woman of color, also just feels like she focuses on nourishing connection. And of course, she does things to make sure she’s not putting herself in danger. But she doesn’t really think about it. And she’s in San Miguel de Allende.

Candice Wu 26:27

As people, we have basic, instinctual, and intuitive, and energetic abilities. We have those gifts that help us, the body wisdom and intelligence that says, “Oh, this doesn’t feel right. Oh, I feel pressured in a way that doesn’t feel good. Yes, this feels great. Yes, my body says yes.” And that can be clouded by our trauma and wounds that are unintegrated, and it can be clouded by the fact that because of travel, we are more likely to override our experience. And that in our collective society, we are conditioned to override.

Candice Wu 27:14

One of the ways that I learned to not override my body’s messages is through Somatic Experiencing where when you’re working with a client, and when I’m the client, the experience that we get to decide, the client gets to decide where and how and how far and in what direction we’re sitting. And the funny thing about a therapy office, or a space, is that we often go into that space and just say, “Oh, yeah, we’re fine. And we just take what we get.” We sit where the chair is, or some people sit on the floor or lie down. I’m a floor sitter often. And even that seems to break some of the norms or what can feel socially appropriate at times. And how about asking the question: Where do you want the chairs to be? Or where do you want to be sitting? And do you want me to turn towards you or to the side or completely away?

Candice Wu 28:14

And having that preference is often a thing that some of my clients even have thought, Oh, this is weird, or no, everything’s fine. And there’s a little bit of discomfort sometimes, or, I’ve never been asked that question, and we haven’t. It’s uncommon. But if we really get to listen to our body, then we can feel, Oh, this is too close. And there’s a breath of relief when I sit at this distance and at this angle. That just helps me feel good and safe right now, and it can change. It can vary. It can be something that you work with, because you may want a different kind of contact with someone. It may be helpful to work with being in a different comfort zone so to say. And yet, it’s extremely helpful to notice what your body says right now and to not override that need, or that preference.

Candice Wu 29:16

And I transferred that to all different areas of my life, where I prefer to place my things in my room, in my space, letting the timing of my body happen more organically rather than pressuring and pushing and glossing over the message of my body that says, wait just a little longer. Or, now, let’s go now.

Candice Wu 29:43

And a lot of times when we are having some parts of our nervous system in a frozen state where something happened in our lives that was overwhelming or traumatic, there wasn’t enough resource to deal with including time, loving, compassionate support, or it was a dangerous situation, our body can go into an overwhelmed state that paralyzes us and shuts us down like playing dead. If you want to learn more about that, there’s an episode at CandiceWu.com/overwhelm, that speaks specifically to tonic immobility and what happens in that state, as well some experientials to support you in coming out of it.

Candice Wu 30:28

If there are parts of us that are in a frozen state, then we may not act when we need to, we may not run away or walk in the other direction when we do sense danger, we may not even sense the danger, because some of our faculties are turned off in order to protect based on the past experience, based on the fact our body already doesn’t feel completely safe.

Candice Wu 30:55

So for me, as I prepare one of the biggest things I’m going to do and I’m doing right now is cultivating where in my body do I sense when something is feeling good? What are the cues? Is it my breath? Is it a release in my muscles? Sometimes my genitals will speak. It’s like there’s an opening and a yes or a closing up and constriction, no. And for me it is a yes or no, the maybe typically means no.

Candice Wu 31:31

Someone once told me if it’s not an obvious guess, it’s a no. And that’s really helped me a long way. When my body says yes, I feel uplifted and excited. And once in a while, I’ve felt too excited, like over the moon. Oh my goodness. Yes, this is everything and sort of this idealized excitement and connection. And that’s one of my warning signs because in some of my early attachment relationships, specifically with my father, I experienced some more narcissistic empath dynamics and experience where my father would give me this loving attention at some points, and then it was painful and destructive at other points, and emotionally violent.

Candice Wu 32:28

So there’s a part of me that can get attracted by that sparkly energy, that charming energy that usually also asks more of me, and I’m willing to give and there’s something that bites me. So if I get too excited, too happy, like over the moon, then I know that I need to slow down and just feel into the deeper energy and which part of me, is it my younger self that’s craving this loving attention, that gives me some sense of worthiness, and I’ve long worked on that part of me and yet it can still show up here and there, in little pockets, debris.

Candice Wu 33:14

A friend of mine mentioned that when she senses that someone is reaching out to her in scarcity, from a place of scarcity, needing something from her, wanting her energy, wanting any material from her, perhaps also, that she feels like she wants to put something in front of her body, and she’ll instinctively put her hands there, put a bag or something that she has with her, right in front of herself, and that’s one of her cues to know that this may not be an interaction she wants to continue with.

Candice Wu 33:48

So this last chunk of the episode is going to be on some of the more practical tips and tools that I’m going to use on my travel and I didn’t use all these in Thailand and when I went to other countries, a few of them, but this time around, I did a more comprehensive look at what other people are doing to support themselves, besides using your instincts, trusting your senses, but what other mechanisms, so let’s jump into that.

Candice Wu 34:25

Alright, so we are now a couple of days later from when I first began recording this podcast episode. It’s interesting because typically I go all the way through the episode whenever I do an episode, and this one I just had to take a little break and a lot has happened between the first chunk and this chunk. I feel like a whole other person in some ways. And some of that feeling in me has also affected how I’m seeing my trip and I’m building a lot more confidence and just feeling more comfortable. Ready to go. Excited.

Candice Wu 35:01

My trip is coming up in about a week and a half, two weeks now. And at this point, I do have my tickets, my flight tickets into Mexico City. And I’m going to spend about a week there. And then I plan to meet a friend in Oaxaca. We may go together from Mexico City to Oaxaca, so I’m really excited about that. This is a dear friend of mine and I’m super thrilled about two apps that I use that a friend told me about, one’s called Hopper. And it’s this app that tells you when is a good time to buy your flights. I use that a little less frequently now because that one doesn’t quite give me the best flight rates. But it does sometimes give me a sense of when to buy and when not to buy, when to wait a little bit. It creates predictions about when the best time to buy your flight tickets would be.

Candice Wu 35:59

The other app that I love is called Skiplagged. And that shows just the best flights it can find in general, but also shows you where you can take a flight and get off at the connecting flight stop instead of the landing destination and that’s often cheaper. So for example, say you want to fly from Detroit to LA, if you buy that ticket, then you can just get off at LA, as long as you only take a carry on bag with you and make sure that pack fits on the flight. And then you just leave the other leg of the flight, and you’re where you want to be, and it’s usually a lot cheaper.

Candice Wu 36:41

Of course, airlines don’t like that, but I have found that if I look at Skiplagged and then go on to the site itself, I can find that flight or I can book right through Skiplagged if I want to do that in an easier way. I don’t always find the app that easy though. Sometimes it creates an error message. So none of these websites that I’m listing, I have any affiliation with, it’s just me sharing some resources that I use personally. So I get no money from them or anything. It’s just something I recommend to all my friends and family.

Candice Wu 37:16

So now when I share with you all the things on my list that I’m doing, and also remember to bring with me on my trip, I don’t always use everything on this list. But I thought that in case any of you are out there and are going to be traveling solo or even with a group, if you want to make sure that you’re doing everything you can to support your own safety and play it smart, as well as giving yourself the best chance you can to have a great experience of connection with the people, with the culture and place.

Candice Wu 37:51

So some of these travel tips include bringing a doorstop alarm, and I just learned about this. I never used this before and at some point, I may not use it but I’m going to bring it just to feel a little safer. I think it would have helped me feel comfortable while I was in Sri Lanka, where I stacked my luggage on chairs against the door. So it’s an alarm that rings at 120 decibels and it hurts your ears if it gets tripped. And so you put it behind the door and if the door opens, when you don’t want it to or when that doorstop alarm is on, then, of course, it will ring, also have a little handheld personal alarm in case you want to use that while I’m out or walking or in a situation that I might want to have just something extra. And that’s also an alarm that rings at 120 decibels. I’ve tried it and with earplugs on, I can hear a loud noise and without your plugs in it hurts my ears and it’s dangerous for your eardrums. So that’s interesting. I

Candice Wu 39:04

It’s a good idea to take up some personal self-defense classes and to just brush up whenever you feel like your body might need to build that body memory again. And I’ve recently taken a couple of private lessons. One was just unarmed self-defense. To me, I would describe it as offensive defense. It is teaching my body how to not defend but to attack if I feel like I’m in danger, that kind of danger. The second lesson I took was on sharp weapons and I basically learned the same movement for use with several different small sharp weapons. But, I am primarily most comfortable with a pen. And there’s this particular pen that my teacher told me about that I did order and it’s a very sharp pen. It’s not one of those clickable ones. It’s one that is with a cap, but you just leave the cap off, you empty the ink out if you’re going to be pinning it to your body or something or putting it in your purse, or some bag you have. And you can even walk around with it and most people don’t even think about a pen being dangerous or that you might defend yourself with a pen. If it’s a clickable pen, then that pen can retract and break. They’re pretty weak. And this one is super sharp and very strong. Hopefully, I never have to use that but it does give me even more confidence if I do have to be in a situation or end up in a situation that’s dangerous or where I feel unsafe. I will link some of these products in my show notes, the ones that I’ve gotten so that you can see if these are right for you. And I definitely recommend taking self-defense classes.

Candice Wu 41:01

I like to bring an extra lock in case I need to lock my things in a locker or in some sort of space.

Candice Wu 41:08

On my first international trip ever, my father who is a pretty savvy traveler and is very focused on safety, told me to put my money in my socks. And that has served me at times just to spread my money out so that in case I get robbed or something falls out that I have a safe place and if you’re wearing pants, you can tuck your money in your socks and then put your pant leg over that of course, and don’t bring out that money in a public place where everyone’s watching you, of course.

Candice Wu 41:44

Some people recommend bringing a decoy wallet, especially to places that muggings happened more often, where you can just hand someone credit cards and a little bit of cash or even the whole wallet and they may be satisfied with that and leave you alone.

Candice Wu 42:02

One website that I was looking at suggested using a plastic tampon applicator to store your money in. And I don’t think that would work for men or people who don’t look like they’re female who knows maybe. But for women and non-binary folks out there that look appearance-wise, like they might be using tampons, that might work and most people won’t bother looking at your tampon or wanting to grab it.

Candice Wu 42:36

I always take copies of all my important documents, my passport, as well as take pictures of my electronics and important items and either email that to myself or store that somewhere that I can access even if something is stolen, especially the serial numbers. You want to make sure that you have a copy of those somewhere in case you need to make a report.

Candice Wu 43:00

I always like to get a local SIM card, especially because I spent a lot of time in the country, usually when I’m somewhere, and I use a lot of data when connecting with my clients. But most phone companies in the US offer something that can be International. If you’re a TMobile user like me, then it offers a small amount of data almost everywhere, at least everywhere I’ve gone. But it hasn’t been enough to sustain a long period of time. So getting a local SIM and researching how you can get one, researching where you can get one and what the plans are, can be really helpful so that you’re not doing that research when you get there. And of course, buying the SIM card at the airport is always more expensive.

Candice Wu 43:52

I like to download maps from Google Maps. If you download it in advance, you don’t have to use data and you can still use Google search. And using that Google Maps is super helpful when you’re transiting somewhere and you’re taking an Uber or you’re taking a taxi or some other way of transportation, you can see if your drivers going in the right direction.

Candice Wu 44:21

When I was in Vietnam, I noticed the driver was taking a whole loop in a roundabout way to get us to the destination. And I kept telling him, I tried to translate it on Google Translate, which is the next tip I have, download a translation tool and Google Translate is super easy.

Candice Wu 44:42

So I was using Google translate to tell him you’re taking us too far, and you’re taking us the wrong way. And he kept insisting that the roads were closed the other way. I wasn’t convinced because there were several other roads that it seemed we could take on the map, and he still took this really long route. So, by the time that I had told him and insisted that he listened to me a couple of times, I noticed that he turned towards the direction we were supposed to go. And so it is really helpful to pay attention to where you’re getting driven and to use the maps that you downloaded.

Candice Wu 45:22

So I already mentioned a translation tool like Google Translate. Speaking the language goes a long way if you can just speak a little bit. It’s a respectful thing to do and people tend to be a lot warmer to you and want to help you if you are trying to speak the language and respecting it, doing it in a way that is earnest and kind.

Candice Wu 45:48

Some other random tips are to check the windows and all the doors when you arrive at a location like an Airbnb or a hostel, or some sort of stay. Sometimes windows have been left unlocked, and people have their things stolen.

Candice Wu 46:07

The editor of this podcast, Chris Spiegl mentioned that there are some people that even go as far as using this sort of metal netting around their belongings and locking it. And I have read that it’s important to lock things in your safe, or in some way, even when you’re there if you’re in locations that people tend to steal things. Don’t say that you’re alone if you are alone when you’re in transit, or when you’re just talking to random people, unless you truly trust that person, and you have your instincts on board. You might say that you have a partner at the hotel or someone is meeting you. A friend is taking a nap and you’re going to head back to see them. Anything that says that you’re not really alone.

Candice Wu 47:03

If you take a taxi, you can take a picture of the license plate, you can also take a picture of their ID. Usually, that should be posted somewhere inside of the taxicab or behind the seat. I recommend taking Ubers if you can because there’s tracking on Uber and there is a company behind that. So there’s just a little extra measure of safety there.

Candice Wu 47:28

If you take a picture of the taxi license or the person’s ID, you can send it to a friend and let them know that you’re in a cab and that you’re on your way somewhere and then text them as you arrive. Know where your embassy is. Look it up before you arrive and put that somewhere that you can access it even just to know the basics of where it is, like, which city it’s in can really help you feel more confident and get you that information more quickly if you do need it.

Candice Wu 48:05

Find the emergency numbers of the area, there is a link on my show notes to an international list of emergency numbers.

Candice Wu 48:14

Know the scams and the typical crimes of the area and that can support you and just keeping your eyes open all the way around you 360 so that you’re aware and that can really protect you.

Candice Wu 48:30

I like to plan the first couple of nights at least, and at the very least the first night and I don’t like to arrive in the dark, as you can hear in my original story about Sri Lanka I did that naively and didn’t even think about it and learn the hard way. So arriving with plenty of daylight can just feel a lot easier to navigate everything, especially if you’re going to an Airbnb or a hotel and you’ve never been there. It could be in an obscure location and you just don’t know or could be in a place and who knows what is in that area.

Candice Wu 49:10

Reach out to friends in the area. If you have friends of friends that might be someone you meet with depending on how long you’re staying in that location, and nurse any support that you get and receive if you are staying for a short period of time, and there are local people that you see at a restaurant or along the way continually, it’s great to try to use their language and talk to them, say hello, do anything that you can do to cultivate those relationships because people tend to want to look out for others. Of course, that depends on the location, and if you look into the cultural expectations, cultural etiquette of the location, that’s really important too.

Candice Wu 50:00

I think it’s in Thailand, that there are these beautiful gates and doorways. And if you step on the beam, the wooden beam that’s about a couple of inches above the ground, when you go through the doorway, it’s really disrespectful. So just knowing things like that in advance, can support you in building the connections that will keep you safe and support you along the way. Who knows what kind of support you’ll need?

Candice Wu 50:36

Know that you can say no, for your safety, no matter what. You don’t have to listen to someone telling you about a deal about a travel trip. You don’t have to indulge someone in their conversation with you. These are all just really basic tools and tips of safety and you can apply that as you travel and just remember that because sometimes when we land in a place, we can feel a little disoriented.

Candice Wu 51:05

A few more tips, it’s always helpful to get travel insurance and you can get that yearly. It’s a lot cheaper than just doing it per trip. But if you only travel once a year, you might try per trip. And with travel insurance, that usually also covers medical evacuation. And for me, I like it too, just in case I need to get home because of some medical issues.

Candice Wu 51:30

I also like to go to my bank and get some local currency, the place that I’m arriving into, and it’s not always the best rate, it probably is like getting money at the airport, but it feels better to me to have a little bit in my pocket so that I can just get out into where I need to go and have a bite to eat and all that.

Candice Wu 51:52

Let your bank know that you’ll be traveling so that your credit cards and your debit cards work. At Chase Bank, they even have a travel notification place that you can enter where you’re traveling just on the app so it’s super easy.

Candice Wu 52:09

Also, there’s a registry with the United States government that you can let them know where you’re going abroad and for how long so that in case something happens to you abroad, that they can alert your family. I’m not sure totally about how good it is to be on a list like that in terms of the benefits and the disadvantages and what those lists are used for, but of course, the United States does have a record of where you’re going anyway because you’re using your passport to leave. So I figure that it’s just one other measure, in case anything happens.

Candice Wu 52:51

And of course, as I spoke about several times in this podcast, develop your instincts, people say all the time, trust your instincts. Pay attention. But how do you do that? And how do you do that effectively?

Candice Wu 53:05

So work with your own body, in sensing how you know that you feel safe. When you feel safe if you even imagine it or think about your own safety right now a tiny felt safe, what happens in your body? What do you experience? When you’ve noticed feeling in danger, whether that’s a bit of emotional danger or physical danger? What happens in your body to tell you to give you that cue that something’s not right, that you need to run? That you need to say no or that you need to yell? How does your body tell you? And if you’re building that relationship with your body regularly than when you’re on travel, or you’re in a location by yourself that you’re not quite sure about, you can rely on yourself, you can go deeply within your body and check-in.

Candice Wu 54:02

When we have had previous trauma, we don’t always have our instincts online, we’re not always able to use our awareness in a way that reflects the present moment. Sometimes we can have a big startle response when one isn’t needed. Or, we may stand there in a frozen paralyzed state, when we actually need to run or yell or hit or move. And what I found in taking those self-defense private lessons is that a lot of frozen energy, a lot of energy of being paralyzed and overwhelmed, playing dead, moved out of my body.

Candice Wu 54:42

Using Somatic Experiencing and other types of trauma healing, have helped me incredibly in restoring all of the responses of my body and a present and alert awareness that is calm when it’s safe, as well as an alert when I’m not quite sure. Or, when I hear things, see things, feel things, that may tell me that I’m in danger or something’s not right.

Candice Wu 55:15

Another thing to take note of is that if you have a big jetlag, that when you arrive, you might be more disoriented, your body might feel ungrounded, you might be tired, that can really affect your body in terms of staying alert. So really plan for that first day upon arrival and you can also practice this meditation that I have in Episode 28. It is called Calibrating Earth and Sky within Prana and Apana Tantric meditation. That’s on the episode with nature. Nature as support and medicine.

Candice Wu 55:59

And in that meditation, we are connecting with the earth wherever you are as well as the sky. So wherever you land, if you do this meditation when you land, at some point when you get to safety, a safe place, and groundedness, then doing this meditation can support you in routing into the energy of the place that can help your body feel more grounded and centered. It can help you adjust to the temperature, the culture, the whole sense of the area, and can help with jetlag.

Candice Wu 56:38

I’ve also found that doing some Yoga, when I arrived is really helpful as well as on the plane and putting your legs up the wall. A Yoga pose that you can lie down on the floor, put your legs straight up the wall, that helps to ground the body as well and to help with jet lag so that you’re more in line with the time zone. There are a small handful of other things I do for jet lag and I won’t talk about them here. But if you do need tips for that, feel free to reach out to me anytime. You can find me on my website Candicewu.com.

Candice Wu 57:18

So all these tips, I hope that some of these support you if you’re traveling, and maybe if you live in a city and you haven’t felt safe, maybe those things can help you too. I think it’s really important to look at the places where we’re fearful and to sense into what exactly is the core of that fear. And that can be a piece of trauma healing work. That can be some belief sets that come up, can be projections. It can be ideas and perceptions about others and our self that are not true and are ready for reexamination and healing. So traveling gives these really wonderful opportunities to do that and I recommend doing that.

Candice Wu 58:06

Coming back full circle for me from this place where I freaked out about my safety and was really scared to looking at what beliefs are there, looking at where does this come from and why am I this scared. And coming back to this place where I feel more connected to my body, to my instincts, my intuition, to trusting myself, it’s so restoring, and I’m really excited about this trip.

Candice Wu 58:34

And by the time this podcast is out and you’re listening to it right now, I will likely be getting ready to go. So I’ll give you some updates along the way. So pay attention in the next couple of weeks because I will be sharing how my experiences, feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions and thank you so much for listening in today.

Candice Wu 58:59

I encourage you to pass this along to anyone that you know that might be supported by this episode, especially if they’re traveling or living abroad solo and need some support for that first time or are going to some new place that’s giving them a different internal experience.

Candice Wu 59:21

Thanks so much for joining me today and if you want to stay connected with episodes, with experientials and meditations that come out, as well as self-love notes and events, sign up for my newsletter that comes out once or twice a month at CandiceWu.com/embody. Be sure to check out that Death experiential. If you want to cleanse something out or if you’re feeling heavy and stuck inside depressed or anxious, or just want to get some sense of your next steps in life. That’s at CandiceWu.com/death. Wishing you all the self-love and worthiness as well as an intuitive connection with your body. Take care and see you next time on the Embody Podcast.