Ending and Beginning the Year With Grace; Cleansing, Impermanence, and Integration — EP53

Candice Wu 0:00

This episode brings you an experience of embracing endings, impermanence, truth, and death to unfold what’s life-giving and wanting to express itself through you in the new year. I’ll walk you through a cleanse of last year’s energy and what’s held in the body so that you can start fresh in the New Year loving and being yourself.

Candice Wu 0:22

Hello and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast. A show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, embodied healing, and self-love.

Candice Wu 0:36

My name is Candice Wu and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations, and guided healing support, and having Co-Creative Conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 0:56

This episode is sponsored by the Ally with Death visualization and experience. It’s a meditation guiding you through a simulation of your own death so that you can experience what you need to face, what’s been limiting you, what really needs to die and clear out and cleanse so that you can truly live.

Candice Wu 1:18

This is a guided process online. And at some point, very soon, there will be an audio version that will walk you through it. You can find this experience at CandiceWu.com/death. It’s only $6. And all of that money goes to the production of the podcast to continue to create more episodes like this for you.

Candice Wu 1:40

Again, that’s that CandiceWu.com/death.

Candice Wu 1:45

I specifically wanted to talk about death today and bring up the Ally with Death meditation because it is truly embracing the energy of death that allows us to live. When we resist death, we also resist life.

Candice Wu 2:02

Have you ever had the experience where you’re so afraid of things changing or ending that you don’t really make a choice to step forward? That if you choose to step forward and take up what’s really for you, what’s really truthful and authentic for you that other things around you have to shift. I’ve seen it where people are married, or in families or in long term relationships where you find a new part of yourself that you want to express. And you’re afraid that taking that step forward will break something or completely alter what’s already going well in your life or pieces of what’s going well.

Candice Wu 2:42

Maybe that’s true, maybe those things do need to change or will change. And maybe not, maybe they kind of recalibrate around what the new changes are. But when we do resist the shift of something when we don’t want it, we’re so attached to the safety of what already is now. And we don’t choose something life-giving, we stay where we are, we actually die a slow death, we stagnate, we decay very, very slowly. And it’s so slow, we just almost don’t even notice it until we don’t quite feel like ourselves or something feels off or we feel lost or depressed. And by staving off the discomfort that we think might come. We are actually stifling the joy that would come along with it.

Candice Wu 3:31

So we’ll talk about this more as we talk about going into this New Year, and ending this year with grace so that you can be fully present next year. And in your next steps.

Candice Wu 3:44

I think change is such an important aspect of what we think about around the New Year. Everyone thinks about: “What can I change? What can I do differently? How can I be different or what can I bring forward?” And sometimes we can get a little crazy to buy all of that, the hype around it or the sensationalizing around it. Because really every day is a new beginning and ending. And it’s a chance to moment, send yourself into the intention that you desire, who you want to be and live that in this day and end it and conclude and reflect.

Candice Wu 4:26

So sometimes that’s where I land with New Years and creating, “resolutions” or themes of the year. I don’t always want to get caught up in it. But sometimes I really do sometimes I feel like yes, I want to really end this year and start anew or start with a different intention.

Candice Wu 4:47

So if you’re looking for that today, or as you start this New Year, this episode is going to guide you through something around that.

Candice Wu 4:57

Last year, I wanted congruency for myself, I wanted to feel that my inner feelings and desires were congruently expressed outside of me, in my physical world, in my surroundings, and in my relationships. And just reflecting on that. Think that this last year was a huge step in living out the lifestyle that I wanted to live. I wanted to travel. I wanted to do healing work online, and stay connected with people all around the world.

Candice Wu 5:32

I actually had no idea that I would launch this podcast all year, I knew I was going to start something but little did I know that it would be fun, enriching, challenging, and also so rewarding. I have loved the feedback that I’ve gotten from all of you, and the challenges, as well as questions and feedback. So it’s been an incredible year, thanks for following along with me at any point in this year, if you’ve tuned in, and if this is your first time tuning in, I’m glad to have you here today.

Candice Wu 6:09

So we’re ending the year with grace. We are ending this year so that the energy of this year and the accomplishments, the challenges, the failures, all of what’s been, can be honored and laid to rest, and can also inform with wisdom what is upcoming for you, what you desire. And the interesting thing about asking yourself what you desire is you have to get really true, clear and deep with yourself.

Candice Wu 6:43

It’s been almost, I don’t know most of my lifetime, where I haven’t asked myself that question, what do I desire? And that wasn’t even a question growing up. But more and more, what I desire is actually what gives me so much joy and so much life. And it’s simple as it sounds, asking yourself daily, because you change daily. And so let’s do this round of asking so that your inner wisdom can show you truly what’s aligned with you.

Candice Wu 7:19

I started the conversation out with death and the energy of death. And I think this is so essential when we’re ending, this is a death, the death of this year. Death can bring the acknowledgment of this completion. And when completion happens, we can fully embrace and feel what’s happened. We can acknowledge what this is that’s ended. The vibrancy of truly living is brought forward by the acknowledgment of death in terms of when things die, when we honor that things actually do and they die, and they are no longer, we can honor what we really want now. We can honor the present moment, and what death brings, what it changes, what’s lost. When we honor all of that with a whole heart. The feeling that we can have in life is just much more accessible and powerful, it’s more alive. We’re actually experiencing everything that life has to bring including death.

Candice Wu 8:28

One way to really bring that force into our daily life is to remind ourselves that death can happen at any time. And it can bring to the surface what we really need to face about ourselves or our relationships, our lives, where our choices lie and what we want. And if this is not something you do already, be gentle because things can be backlogged, maybe it’s a build up of things that you may not want to look at. Or maybe it’s just a few things in pockets that you’ve hidden away and tucked away that kind of fester there, but you can stave it off if you don’t look. But what we know is as we stave off some feelings, and we don’t want to feel certain things, we also start to not feel some of the more pleasant feelings and experiences that we actually do want to feel we can’t just feel happiness.

Candice Wu 9:26

Many of you know Brene Brown’s TED talk, her first one where she talks about how, when we numb our unpleasant feelings, sadness, grief, anger, loss, discomfort, we’re actually also numbing the joy, connection, love, and excitement, things that we want to feel. And we do know that death can bring all of those feelings.

Candice Wu 9:53

So as we look upon this last year, you might feel some unpleasant things. And as things complete this year, you might recognize some truths about yourself or who you’ve been, how you are now that maybe don’t feel so good. Hopefully, there’s something there in a way, because then you can grow.

Candice Wu 10:17

And as I was saying, things can be backlogged, let’s be gentle with ourselves because there may be layer upon layer upon layer of things that you don’t want to look at, or that have happened this year that may need attention, want attention. But also things can be backlogged from our ancestry, or past life or young life as well, or the collective experiences that have affected us. I know, there’s been a lot going on this year, that can tug on our hearts and has.

Candice Wu 10:52

But also let’s take this time for looking at the wonderful things that have happened this year, both externally and in internally, the things that you’ve done with yourself and your energy, the things that you’ve committed to, the choices you’ve made, the accomplishments, the way of being that perhaps you’ve tapped into, or the healing that you’ve worked with yourself. And even the fact that you’re listening in on these podcasts and giving yourself the time to grow on the inside, to heal, to have a little time to yourself, to even bring your attention inward. All of these are things to celebrate.

Candice Wu 11:31

So looking at what are the inner accomplishments that you’ve had this year? What freedoms have you gained and what inner beliefs have you released that make you feel even more yourself, or what desires have you tapped into just having awareness is building and developing yourself.

Candice Wu 11:56

I invite you to cleanse out the energy of last year with me by integrating, honoring, and acknowledging all of what came before this moment. All of what this year brought, and all of the choices that you made, and will step into this new year and invite fresh life that wants to be known.

Candice Wu 12:15

Acknowledge truth and invite the energy of impermanence to support us through bringing forward what is life-giving.

Candice Wu 12:27

So let’s connect in together and find yourself a comfortable place. I like to lie down when I do this, so that I’m just totally relaxed. But see if you want to do that, or sit. Take a moment and close your eyes, if it feels comfortable for you, or look down.

Candice Wu 12:48

Let yourself arrive here in this moment.

Candice Wu 12:54

Invite all of yourself here.

Candice Wu 13:01

And let your breath just flow as it is. Let your body breathe without any effort.

Candice Wu 13:10

Feel that there’s nothing to do but be present here. Nothing to accomplish.

Candice Wu 13:19

Let your body be at ease. Or imagine what it would be like if you could feel ease right now.

Candice Wu 13:26

Now just imagine a white light completely surrounding you, supporting you and clearly seeing yourself and honoring yourself with love.

Candice Wu 13:49

And I invite you to take your mind to the beginning of this year, January.

Candice Wu 13:57

As you bring your attention to January.

Candice Wu 14:01

Notice any emotions, body sensations. Notice what it feels like to be in your body as you imagine starting off this last year. Notice where you were for that month whereas you began the year.

Candice Wu 14:23

Feel into any intentions you had at the start of the year if you can remember. If nothing comes to you, don’t worry, just feel what you feel because the body is holding the memories well.

Candice Wu 14:38

Be curious about whatever shows up for you as you feel into what’s here now. And it may be different from what you felt back then. So this is part of the cleansing.

Candice Wu 14:51

The body holds the emotions and information that may not have been acknowledged before. And we have the space and time here and now to do that acknowledging.

Candice Wu 15:10

Notice any accomplishments, challenges, how you spend your time in January.

Candice Wu 15:22

And with just a couple of breaths, honor that. Acknowledge whatever was there without any judgment, without any criticism.

Candice Wu 15:36

And also notice if you have judgment or criticism

Candice Wu 15:42

As you feel into your body, into this moment of feeling January,

Candice Wu 15:49

Just let a couple of breaths move through to release and shift to February.

Candice Wu 15:55

Noticing where you were in February. Where you were on your journey of life. What important things were going on. How you felt and how you feel now and just honoring any feeling sense you have inside. Anything that comes up, taking a couple of breaths to let this emotion, let this feeling sense move through the body.Whether that’s a peaceful feeling, or an uncomfortable feeling, just acknowledging what’s here and now.

Candice Wu 16:56

And shifting to March, noticing anything that the body wants to show you about this month of March.

Candice Wu 17:18

And now April, noticing anything there is to celebrate. Anything there was to grieve or feel, discomfort or loss, maybe even challenges. Be open to whatever’s here.

Candice Wu 17:40

And again, checking in with the body and feeling whatever is felt.

Candice Wu 17:47

Letting it come to the surface so that it can just naturally move.

Candice Wu 17:57

And now shifting to May, acknowledge anything that’s here. Just using your breath to support you and feeling through whatever shows up.

Candice Wu 18:26

And stepping into June, noticing any transitions you’ve had in your life at this time where you were on your journey. What that month was like? How do you feel about it now?

Candice Wu 18:57

July.

Candice Wu 19:13

August.

Candice Wu 19:24

Letting any messages from the body show itself to you. Any thoughts come up about this month.

Candice Wu 19:35

And that shift to the fall into September and October. Any significant events or moments that were powerful for you. Any challenges?

Candice Wu 20:04

And into the month of November, any inner celebrations, outer celebrations, anything that shows up for the month of November.

Candice Wu 20:26

And now December this month, sensing into how it feels to be in your body. How it felt this month for you. What was important was interesting.

Candice Wu 20:46

As you arrive now back to this present moment, just scan the whole year and feel into anything that shows up now, any big events, small events, life changes.

Candice Wu 21:10

Notice any feelings that come up now as you take a good look at the full year. And what’s transpire what life was lived here.

Candice Wu 21:36

And feel free to take a little extra time here if you’d like. Feel free to pause the podcast.

Candice Wu 21:44

If you’re ready to move on to the next step of shifting into this New Year, coming into your desires and intentions, feel free to continue on with me. We’ll have just a little music to transition.

Candice Wu 22:08

Shake off the energy of last year. Shake your head, shake and move your arms and legs. Let some clear fresh breath move through the body.

Candice Wu 22:22

And now let’s open up what your true desires for this next year are. Opening up what truth wants to be acknowledged through you what you like to express, how you want to feel.

Candice Wu 22:39

For this one, I’d invite you to stand up, move around. Look around your environment and just see what’s around you.

Candice Wu 22:50

Let yourself be truly present here. Feel your feet, wiggle your toes.

Candice Wu 22:57

Take some deep breaths, let that flow down to your hips and your belly.

Candice Wu 23:06

Feel your spine lift all the way to the top of your head. Imagine there’s a little space in between each spinal vertebra.

Candice Wu 23:18

Making a long spine brings forward your wisdom, your full energy, allowing you to be in your body.

Candice Wu 23:31

So when you feel like it, you can sit down or stay standing if that feels right for you. But keep your spine tall and long.

Candice Wu 23:42

Stay connected with your breath.

Candice Wu 23:46

And as I ask a few questions here, allow anything to come up in your mind.

Candice Wu 23:57

If you’re someone that journals, feel free to pause now and grab a journal or piece of paper if you like to have notes. If you’re someone that just likes to let this be known inside of you, let’s continue.

Candice Wu 24:18

So as you breathe this full breath feeling alive right here and now.

Candice Wu 24:27

Ask yourself, if you were to die tomorrow, what would you be compelled to do, say, or change? Right now. Right here and now.

Candice Wu 24:44

Imagine that if you were to die tomorrow, what would feel unresolved? And what would it feel like if you need to face it today?

Candice Wu 24:59

Other people on your life you would talk to, say something to?

Candice Wu 25:08

Are there ways that you would forgive yourself or beliefs of yourself that you would let go and forget about it and just live?

Candice Wu 25:22

Notice what comes up without analyzing it much just letting it come to you.

Candice Wu 25:27

If you were to die tomorrow, what would you be compelled to say or do and what truth needs to be acknowledged.

Candice Wu 25:47

But perhaps if you’ve been ignoring, that is really important to look at now.

Candice Wu 25:56

But if you turned your back onto, looked away from what wants you to look.

Candice Wu 26:15

And now looking at the new year ahead, what do you want to feel this year?

Candice Wu 26:26

Forget about what society or other people want. Or what people think you should want? What is your unique idea of what you want to feel this year?

Candice Wu 26:45

It doesn’t have to be some giant thing or accomplishment as to what feels right for you.

Candice Wu 26:55

Is it peace? Is it balance, power, congruence, joyful, playfulness, love?

Candice Wu 27:13

What energy do you want to embody this year?

Candice Wu 27:24

And if you’re not sure, just allow that question to stay with you. And if you are clear, if you have an idea, feel into that energy now, feel into what it would be like to feel ease or that piece that you want, playfulness, whatever it is.

Candice Wu 27:51

And from this energy that specifically what you want to feel, what do you desire for your year? What do you want? Let yourself be surprised and reveal what might be here right now, in this moment.

Candice Wu 28:23

Can you imagine a picture of what it is that you desire and just see it through? See what it would be like. Even if it’s outrageous, silly or different, or simple.

Candice Wu 28:41

Even if you already knew what you wanted before, see what else. See if there’s another layer. Notice how this feels right now being in your body picturing this, feeling as if it’s already happened now.

Candice Wu 29:08

Now ask yourself, how can you incorporate these desires or this energy into your life this year? What changes might you need to make?

Candice Wu 29:27

What small step can you take to move towards this?

Candice Wu 29:53

Bringing the energy of impermanence and death into the mix?

Candice Wu 29:57

Are there things you need to let go of?

Candice Wu 30:02

Are there dynamics or relationships or belief sets that need to go, need to end.

Candice Wu 30:19

Are their emotions that you need to face and feel and allow so that you can move forward?

Candice Wu 30:45

And the last question for now, how can you love yourself through this year? What ways can you care for yourself, support yourself, or bring more loving to yourself this year?

Candice Wu 31:13

Does your body and your heart crave from you that it can truly feel loved?

Candice Wu 31:38

Take a moment to feel your breath. As you notice and acknowledge anything that has come up for you, anything that’s being acknowledged, any new awareness, anything you already knew.

Candice Wu 32:01

Take this moment to thank yourself and honor. This time you gave yourself to envision your New Year, to find new ways to love yourself, to get closer to your desires, and as you feel ready, give a little movement to the body. Stretch if you need a couple of deeper breaths.

Candice Wu 32:40

If your eyes are closed, slowly open them, feel into your reality as it is right now.

Candice Wu 32:57

Opening your eyes to the world, your world.

Candice Wu 33:03

This might be a lovely time to create a ritual for yourself that helps you feel love for yourself or helps you feel embodied, or supports you in the emotion or energy you want to feel this year.

Candice Wu 33:22

This is about a state of being not necessarily all of the actions and goals that you have this year.

Candice Wu 33:31

But a ritual is one of those actions that can support you in that state of being that you want for yourself, in the loving you want for yourself, or that feeling and desire you have that you want to manifest.

Candice Wu 33:51

You might not know this about me, but I don’t do Yoga every day, despite what some people think I do. And being a Yoga teacher, Yoga spans much more than doing Asana, doing the poses. But people think I’m doing yoga like a couple of times a day or something. And what I am doing is actually Yoga all the time, it’s knowing self, self as in the creative energy that runs through all of us, matching up with that and releasing the beliefs, the impressions, the experiences that don’t align with that that aren’t just pure love, that aren’t mistruths that I’ve just carried along the way. All of that is Yoga.

Candice Wu 34:40

But what I did start doing yesterday is Yoga Asana. I did start doing some poses again. I noticed that my body was really craving it. I haven’t been riding in about a week or two. And since I’ve been in Germany, so I’m really craving the movement and the muscles being used.

Candice Wu 35:05

Somewhere in me, I’m reigniting the love I have for doing Yoga poses that I once had long ago. And now it feels totally different, a new way to connect with myself, it’s fresh, yet, still so familiar.

Candice Wu 35:22

So sometimes things weave in and out of your life. It’s not something to be hard on yourself. Or if you’re not meditating every day, or doing the thing that you set out to do, I don’t know, years ago, or that you think you should do but to find what ritual or what activity can really help you feel like yourself today. And right now and in this time period, it changes all the time.

Candice Wu 35:51

So for me doing Yoga and Dreamwork is just giving me so much life, so much connection and ease in my body. And that time with myself feels just precious right now.

Candice Wu 36:03

What brings you that feeling? What do you do with yourself that just feels so precious? So life-giving. So you. And if you don’t have something like that right now, maybe it’s time to find it. Maybe it’s time to just be open to what is that thing that can make me feel so good right now.

Candice Wu 36:25

I’ve really enjoyed doing these activities with you today. And being on your journey with you this whole year, it’s been incredibly special. Especially when I find out that people have been listening, that I just didn’t know were listening in, or when you messaged me and introduced yourself to me, and we don’t know each other. I just love the connections that we’ve gotten to make through this podcast. And I hope that you’re finding that connection with yourself in a deeper way, with every episode.

Candice Wu 36:58

And I want to end this episode and end this year with a quote by one of my teachers, my family constellations teacher Susie Tucker, she says that life will go on without you, but be enriched by your presence.

Candice Wu 37:16

So I love that because as we’ve been talking about impermanence, death, also purpose and why we’re here and what we want to be doing with our attention, our time, our energy, it’s really important not to pressure yourself that you must find that purpose that is yours in a way that makes it harder to find. It almost creates more resistance and judgment around it perhaps. That pressure isn’t exactly helpful, but opening up to what your purpose might be, opening up to what your desires are, all that can guide you breadcrumb by breadcrumb to what you’re here for on this life journey.

Candice Wu 38:01

And this quote of life will go on without you, but be enriched by your presence, that gives a level of relief and release that things will carry on, things will go on and be just fine. And yet, by having a presence, having a human experience, and being here, being alive, the world around us can be incredibly enriched by who we are.

Candice Wu 38:29

But, more so I think that our own experience, our own spirit can be enriched by our own spirit that we can just truly be here to enjoy what we want to enjoy, and what we feel we’re here for. And that’s enough.

Candice Wu 38:53

So we’ll end this podcast today, will end the year out today, with each other. And I encourage you if you especially liked the question about if you were to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

Candice Wu 39:07

If you liked that, check out the Ally with Death visualization that can bring you even into a deeper process around that and more knowing and flush out all of the things that need to let go or the things that are decaying inside of you that want to be cleared out and support you in that clarity of what is really essential for you in this life.

Candice Wu 39:35

I also invite you to check out the class, it’s free right now on Skillshare about dream work and the ability to remember and recall your dreams and start to embody them. This is the first of many of a series of dream work where we’ll be working with how to take your dreams and harvest them so that you can bring that wisdom into your embodied life.

Candice Wu 39:59

You can check that out at CandiceWu.com/dreamclass1, the number one.

Candice Wu 40:04

Well, I really enjoyed this year with you and wishing you just a lovely transition into the New Year. You are completely worthy of all the things you desire and worthy of life.

Candice Wu 40:17

See you in the New Year and next time on The Embody Podcast.