Inner Baby & Beautiful Garbage with Erin Diedling — EP48

Candice Wu 0:00

Today, we have Erin Diedling on the show, and together we explore how trauma goes into the cells and tissues of the body or personal stories of early and pre-birth trauma, and the power in healing these, how the soul moves out of the way and early life trauma, and clearing out the beautiful garbage of what stuck in the body so that we can fully trust, and be in our psychic and energetic gifts. Also, included is an intuitive glance of the podcast community and who’s connecting in.

Candice Wu 0:28

Hello, and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, embodied healing and self-love.

Candice Wu 0:42

My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist, sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 1:04

This episode may not be for all audiences. Just be mindful that it includes a discussion of sexual trauma and suicide.

Candice Wu 1:13

This episode is sponsored by the Embodied Healing group call that happens at once a month. It is a monthly group to enjoy embodied support, empowering connection and healing guidance for developing your intuition, being at ease in your body and spirit, and tapping into your somatic wisdom and ancestral healing around anything you’re experiencing or challenged with each month. You can find out more about this group, which is $55 a month, and all the proceeds support the creation of the podcast at CandiceWu.com/patreon.

Candice Wu 1:53

Well, it’s really an honor to have Erin Diedling on the show. She has been someone that I’ve admired from day one. I find her to be incredibly magical, spiritual and connected, and whenever she tunes into something, I just feel like she’s right on. Sometimes, she receives information, messages that happen even before I know it, and it’s so exciting to hear from her. Erin is a gifted clinical psychotherapist, energy healer and psychic medium in Chicago, working in two worlds, the science and spirit world. She loves working with the inner baby, with touch regulation and the neuro-sequential stages of development. She works with past complex trauma, eating disorders and also supporting her clients to manifest their dreams, and bringing in love joy and beauty. She paints, writes and swims, and it’s just a joy to be around. So, without further ado, here is Erin.

Candice Wu 2:55

Okay. So, I have Erin Diedling on the show, and I super happy to have you here Erin. Welcome.

Erin Diedling 3:03

Thank you so much for having me, Candice. I’m so enjoying getting to know you through your work, and through your travels, and I’m really thrilled to be on your show. I think it’ll be a lot of fun.

Candice Wu 3:14

Thank you, thank you. Likewise, I’m really enjoying getting to know you through Word Up, which is a show for healers from a healer. But first, let’s go all the way back to when I first met you. I met you while you were assisting at Somatic Experiencing training, and I don’t know if you know this, but when I met you, I was just floored by you and your energy and excited by the questions you were asking me and bringing up with me instantly. I don’t even know how you knew it, but of course, you knew it. You were like, you’re an energy worker, how do you combine everything? Like…

Erin Diedling 3:51

I was so blown away!

Candice Wu 3:52

….and this conversation opened up, and I was so happy you were there. It was like, “Oh, thank goodness.”

Erin Diedling 4:00

I couldn’t believe it, when I met you, it was like, “Hoop, how does she know all this? Oh, my goodness. I got so interested in how you’re combining all these different things and also keeping them separate in the different, you know, the clinical world, the spiritual world, and I was like, ”Who is she? I need to know her.”

Erin Diedling 4:23

But also, there’s that from psychic schools, like don’t, you know, don’t get in someone’s face and like try to grab their answers because their answers aren’t for you. So, I always had that, sort of, like, “Don’t be Space Invader,” but I was so fascinated by you. Right off the bat. So, sounds like it was mutual.

Candice Wu 4:42

It was absolutely mutual. So, I’d love to hear your journey of how you got to where you are today. You’re not only a therapist or an energy worker, but you’re also psychic, and you do all sorts of powerful healing and transformation with people.

Erin Diedling 5:00

Thank you. It’s so vital thing to hear yourself describe that way. I sometimes…

Candice Wu 5:07

If it is accurate?

Erin Diedling 5:09

It’s accurate is just like, “Wow, oh, I guess I do all that. Yeah, I do.” But it’s like when…

Candice Wu 5:16

One time I asked you what do, you list all these things, and I was just floored, and I remember, like I very profoundly remember, organ channel healing, an organ healing, and now, I can’t list the other ones, but I’d love for you to share that.

Erin Diedling 5:32

Oh, well, thank you. I have a clinical practice. I’m a clinical psychotherapist, and I’m trained in very much, you’re, the same thing you’re trained in and somatic experience, which is very body-focused, nervous system-focused. It’s a lot about, why animals in the wild don’t get post-trauma and humans do, and I do think that domestic animals or domesticated animals aligned to their humans and can, you know, have post-trauma.

Erin Diedling 6:03

Because they’re aligned to their humans, but it’s a lot about what didn’t get to happen in that, you know, the big event and how do you slow it down and hear the nervous system, and listen to the body because the body has so many of the answers. So, there’s that piece which also led be more into clinical touch work, neurobiologically based and neuro sequentially based modality where it helps. One of the many things that does, is working a lot with the HPA axis, hypothalamus, pituitary, adrenal axis, the three main players of the nervous system, The Three Musketeers of nervous system regulation.

Erin Diedling 6:50

And a lot of times when there’s baby trauma or developmental trauma, developmental ruptures from even pre-birth out through adulthood, there’s more of a body narrative and there is talking narrative or of a visual narrative, and that modality has taught me how to work with the inner-baby. I don’t work with children, like actual chronological children. I work with the inner babies in the inner children of the adult, and I say that with full respect. It’s really yummy work. I look at my own attachment style, and I think it’s perfect for me because I don’t actually have children.

Erin Diedling 7:35

I helped raise my little brother, I had a lot to do with his upbringing, but it wasn’t his actual parent, you know, supporting him and financially or whatever, but I was, I see how I can be an ideal parent, maybe in a clinical setting, but then they don’t go home with me, you know, I’m not responsible for having to do the care that the hard work that parents do. You know, I’m more. Yes, I’m in theory, but I’m also in practice, and so, parents have, I think being a parent is an incredibly sacred hard job. And I get to sit in my ivory tower and learn all this stuff, and then people come in with their baby trauma, and I get to help raise the baby or go into those neuro sequential places, meaning, certain stages have to be passed to get to the next one. And if we don’t pass those stages, sometimes, the later stages collapse down on the one that maybe is where the learning needs to take place next.

Candice Wu 8:34

I’m just catching in on that, because I think that this kind of education is so important for understanding what the impact of trauma can be.

Erin Diedling 8:46

Hmm.

Candice Wu 8:47

Yeah, and you know, with everything going on around families being separated at the border. I hear, I even hear psychologists on TV saying this is traumatic. But I have this sense, that they’re not exactly even speaking to this neuro sequential, a development that you’re speaking about, and somatic development of as we know, how the body experiences the trauma and cannot get out of it without certain support.

Erin Diedling 9:17

Well, it was amazing to me that on the big news channels that physicians and psychiatrists were going on, medical doctors talking about the body impacts, the nervous system impacts on these little kids at various ages being separated from their parents and how that can affect their health long term, and that was so mainstream that this ACES study, adverse childhood experience study, which actually started out from Kaiser Permanente to study on weight management and obesity, and why do some people get obese and others don’t. And it turned into a trauma study that they didn’t end up, they didn’t foresee that it would become that, and what they noticed is all the health problems that can come up from in adults that had adverse consistent or either big adverse experiences or consistent over time experiences, such as being separated from parents at the border, neglect, abuse, oppression, all of that poverty, even start to look like trauma.

Candice Wu 9:44

Absolutely.

Erin Diedling 10:00

And then energetically, how I see that, you know, and the other half of my life where I’m doing energy work, sometimes, I see there’s a clinical piece and there is an energy piece, in how I have perspective on it. Clinically, you know, there was even a local doctor here in Chicago that wrote a book on Fibromyalgia, and he firmly believes some of the syndromes and somatic experience talks about this in the training is to allow the syndrome moles, stem out of baby trauma or developmental trauma, and that the trauma doesn’t have a place to go. So, it goes into the tissues or the child will absorb it, and they don’t have a place to put it or they try to put it someplace or you know, beat up the punching bag and told that’s not polite or, and so it goes deeper and deeper into the tissues until it gets to the cellular level.

Erin Diedling 11:19

And it’s all in, then at some point, it’s almost like the body turns on itself, because it doesn’t have a place to put all of this energy or this neglect or the love it didn’t get, you know, there are some physicians that have written books, such as The Deepest Well is all about the ACES study, it was Dr. Nadine Burke, she wrote “The Deepest Well”, which is all about the study and her experience with little kids who come from oppression and neglect, and abuse, and her story is very helpful in the book.

Erin Diedling 11:54

There’s also like when the body says no, the body keeps the score, and then even a local physician at Whole House Chicago, Dr. David Heidelberg, wrote a book on Fibromyalgia and his, you know, back in the 70s, long before anyone was known, before any of this was mainstream, he was saying, I firmly believe things like Fibromyalgia are… it can be trauma, cotton, the tissues doesn’t have to be, and I think empirical science will catch up to these theories.

Erin Diedling 12:29

And then energetically, I think, sometimes it’s like, “Well, I agree to be in a body, you know, I come from this unlimited place, I didn’t anticipate all this stuff that would happen, it’s kind of bigger than I thought it would be having a human body. So, let me get a little bit out of the way, let me send part of myself away” or I’ve seen this sometimes with childhood sexual abuse, where the child will remove themselves from the situation or remove their soul like, “Okay, fine, you can my body, but you can’t have my soul.

Candice Wu 13:01

Mm-hmm. There’s the preservation.

Erin Diedling 13:03

Hmm, and then they just keep moving out of the way and moving out of the way until there’s, you know, like, there’s not a lot of them left to interfere with, say, disease that comes into the body. And I recently, you know, did some healing work with someone who had inoperable cancer and she’s like, you know, I’ve done all the medical stuff, but I’m totally an energy, and her caregiver center to me for a session, and that was, it was really clear that she had moved out of the way. And it even like, okay, you can have my body, I’ll just move out of the way. Okay, you can have my boundaries, I’ll just move out of the way and even with the cancer cells, it’s like, Okay, fine. You know, I won’t be a problem, and in so, as she started to come back in.

Erin Diedling 13:49

The tumors, you know, my understanding is the tumors are starting to shrink. Maybe she’s doing work with a whole care team. So, I’m not saying I’m responsible for that or necessarily had to do with that, but it’s what I’ve seen, what it was doing in the reading, in the healing.

Candice Wu 14:07

Yeah, and do you see that as the perhaps is, finding that it’s safer now or that the healing can happen now?

Candice Wu 14:15

Yeah. Coming back in her body.

Erin Diedling 14:15

Yeah.

Erin Diedling 14:17

She’s, yeah. She’s a powerful, powerful lady, and so, she’s coming back full force. That means slowly, you know, dipping our toe in and like, “Okay, is that yeah, I like that”. And to see her come alive and displace the cancer, it’s something.

Candice Wu 14:40

That’s beautiful. Yeah. Amazing.

Erin Diedling 14:43

She’s beautiful. She’s a gentleness, kindness, most loving spirit, and now, she’s also and she’s also becoming a badass.

Erin Diedling 14:57

She’s finding her inner badass or inner cancer fighter.

Candice Wu 15:01

Oh, yeah. Well, if we just kind of backtrack a little errand, I want to hear about your life, and how you journeyed into being a healer and psychotherapist. What inspired you or what really draws you to this work, and where, what was your story before being in this place in your life?

Erin Diedling 15:24

Well, it’s so interwoven with the energy piece. So, if I try to be brief, it’s kind of long, I’ll start there. But as a kid I was having, I could read and feel energy, and it wasn’t always pretty; we lived in a house where a major event and actually a murder had taken place, and we just moved to Louisiana. The house where we were going to move into wasn’t built yet. So, we were renting a house, and I was feeling all of this really scary stuff in the house, and my mom took me to the priest and the priest was like, “No, leave her alone. She has gifts. She has a language that she speaks that needs to be protected and nurtured. I know you don’t.” He said to my mom, “I know you don’t understand that”, but this was a priest who did exorcisms. I mean, he’s a badass, and…

Candice Wu 16:15

Wow.

Erin Diedling 16:17

He was protective, and he sent me home and my mom had a think on that, and it was like, “Okay, great. I don’t understand this”, but there’s also a part of me as a child that’s like, “Oh, this is a little much for my mom. So, maybe I should dim some of this down.” In Louisiana State law, if you know the home is haunted, and you are selling your home, you have to disclose it to the new buyers. But we were just renters, and so we weren’t privy. We were not made aware that something and I won’t tell the details, because they’re pretty horrific. But I would feel it in the home and I would feel the guy walk down the hall, and I feel impure into my room, and then I fall asleep terrified.

Candice Wu 17:05

That’s really scary as a child and not having someone maybe that knows exactly what’s going on.

Erin Diedling 17:12

Right. And I didn’t have words to describe it. I didn’t understand. I would try to describe it, which is what my mom took to the priest. And then, fortunately, I mean, here’s the thing, validation can go a really long way. So, we’re on the school bus going to school, and we’ve been living in the place six months, and one of the kids was like, “Oh, you live in the murder house”. And it’s like, everything kind of popped. Because it was like, “Oh, that’s what I’m feeling. I’m not crazy.” I mean, in third grade, I wasn’t thinking I was crazy. I was just scared and feeling things, and I felt things that were positive, too, and it kind of started to the bigger story of how I got to be a therapist, sort of indirectly started there, and I pick up on things and I think I dimmed it down a bit.

Erin Diedling 18:01

And, you know, moved into the house, got some growing up, done, and the first couple weeks of being a new student in high school, we were at mass, I grew up in a really Catholic family, and we found out at mass that the boy just bent over to our house the day before my brother’s best friend had committed suicide. And he had stuff by the house to say goodbye. But we didn’t know that’s what he was doing. I brother saying, you know, he just seemed really happy. He seemed happier than I’ve ever seen him, and as you know, you know, background and energy and being a clinician, he had decided, and they talked about that kind of almost like a glow, and no one knew I also was madly in love with my brother’s best friend.

Candice Wu 18:48

Oh, my goodness.

Erin Diedling 18:49

I never told that. My family doesn’t tend to listen to things like this. I don’t think they’ll find out but he was very, very kind to me, and he was a star student. He was a star athlete, but just really kind heart and beautiful ethics, and beautiful spirit, and I would, I even like ride my bike past the house, and I communicate with them like, “Hey, what’s up, Brian? How are you doing? Well, how’s heaven? How do you like it? Where are you?” And then I would feel like he was answering me. And my parents had noticed that I was having a rough time, and I had been through some trauma as a little kid, which is also I think, why I picked up on energies, because when you’re through a trauma, I’m kind of, you know, I’m telling this in and out of time of it, and it all meets up somehow.

Candice Wu 19:41

Yes, it will.

Erin Diedling 19:42

I think when a kid goes through trauma, and some kids have abilities and don’t go through trauma, I think we send a part of ourselves away, way far away, and then we have, we still have kind of cell phone communication with that part of us that goes far, far away, and it can make us very attuned to energy. And where’s the next thing coming from or where do I need to be on defense or I think you’re really high-level help when you’re going through a trauma.

Candice Wu 20:08

Right, and it seems to me that having a part of you far, far away, and having that communication, the line of communication is open, and that the energetic boundary of the part of you that’s human, and not human, but on the ground in the body is open then to what else might be coming through. But you said high-level support is that what he said?

Erin Diedling 20:36

Yeah, if you pull back and look at some of, even when I pull back and look at seeing, you know, when I was a little tyke, and there was sexual abuse going on when I, and that happened. I’m sorry, I said big detail the drop. I look and I see how much help, how surrounded I was that maybe spirit was an overriding the will of the abuser or the rapist, but also was going to be supportive, because that maybe wasn’t entirely my will to be, you know, a toddler being raped. And so, when I pulled back and actually look at the bigger picture, I had so much help, and I was so lifted up, and it was even healing the abuser, like, “Oh, that looks awful. Here, let me take that.” But then it doesn’t feel so good, and that’s where I think some of the ickiness later, the some of the heaviness, that anxiety, the depression, when I entered high school or even late great school, my parents just saw I wasn’t thriving, and they didn’t understand why. And when the thing happened with my brother’s best friend, they said, “Wow, you know, let’s take her, let’s get her some help.

Erin Diedling 21:49

My brother had been in therapy, and they thought, you know, maybe Erin needs to be in some therapy to and they went to go see the therapist and told her what was going on, and I had no idea that she knew. For years, she said, you know, based on what you’re telling me, I think your daughter’s been through sexual abuse, at least once. I think she’s had some, at least one big trauma.

Erin Diedling 22:13

And I didn’t know that they knew, and they’re like how when, where, who? How is this possible? What, where did we not see. So, they were holding on to this information for years before I had the full cognitive. I, my body remembered and I would get flashes, and I would say things I didn’t remember saying about the events, about the rapes, and then later when my mom would remind me things that I would have, like, those Freudian slips, I look back and I’m like, “Oh, yeah, I do remember saying.” So, there was some part saying, “Help, help.” And so, they brought me to this wonderful therapist, Dr. Hagen, who was a clinical psychologist, and I just, I wanted to be her, and she encouraged me to do exactly that.

Erin Diedling 23:03

So, I saw her from fourteen, all the way through college and grad school, and I still write to her every now and again, and just thank her. I don’t know where I’d be without her, and she was such a force in and just such an advocate. And she’s seen every member of my family now, I think, because the one clinical psychologist in this small town, which is now a much bigger town, and you know, she was really good at keeping boundaries and really good at keeping secrets, the things she, that woman must know about so many families, and she never slept, you know, she was so buttoned up. And so, the utmost professional, and to encourage me.

Erin Diedling 23:41

In college, I was interested in literature and therapy, and she, and I started taking pre-med she’s like, why I need, what’s with this pre-med stuff? Because my brain started to go down. I loved the poetry of organic chemistry and the poetry of physics, but I couldn’t cut the math. Hey, what was with the medical thing? What’s with medical school? And I said, if you listen to most people, they will diagnose themselves. And she said, “Erin, you don’t have to go through the punishment of medical school to listen to most people, like, I think you’d be..” She said this word, she said, “I think you’d be a virtuoso about this?” and my reaction was: I’m a terrible listener, how could I possibly be a therapist? And she’s like, I don’t know, Erin.

Candice Wu 24:25

Oh, my goodness.

Erin Diedling 24:26

I think you should, I think you’d be surprised, and I find that I have in the moment, in the clinical room, I can listen and be very even hyper-focused. Not in a like, scrutinizing kind of away but I can, I noticed, you know how it is, it comes over you.

Candice Wu 24:47

Yeah, it does. You’re in that space, and then it sounds like you’re listening with not just your ears, but just on many levels of your being, and receiving information from images and sense, and all sorts of energy and other cues and the body.

Erin Diedling 25:04

Yes,

Candice Wu 25:05

Of course.

Erin Diedling 25:06

And I was steered away from it, because I didn’t think I could cut it. I didn’t think I could be her or like her, and she saw and she encouraged me. And what is, it the joke? How do you regulate a therapist put a client in front of them, isn’t that?

Candice Wu 25:25

Oh, that’s hilarious.

Erin Diedling 25:27

You know, when people are exhausted at some of the trauma conferences, and you have to go and do a practice group, it’s amazing how people have just done some of their own, maybe you’ve had this experience where they’ve done a lot of their own work, and they’re emotionally exhausted, and then it’s time to be the therapist or and it just in there, they’re ready to go and put them in the therapist.

Candice Wu 25:50

I that happens to me, you know, traveling a lot. As I told you before the call, they’re just different stressors that happen and things that are going on that are out of my control, and very unpredictable, and sometimes I’m dealing with something and I surprised myself even as to how present I can be with a client. Even like minutes after that, I do try to give some buffer time and ground myself and do all sorts of self-care but it’s, if I’m down to the wire, and I have to just turn on I can. And it’s really great.

Erin Diedling 26:30

It just, it kind of comes over you and there’s an equal and opposite joke or equal and other joke about how do you keep a psychic occupied? How do you keep a psychic busy? Give them a problem to solve or put a client?

Candice Wu 26:48

So, Erin, I’m curious, if you want to go here, when you look at your whole life spiritually, spiritually, energetically,…

Erin Diedling 26:55

Yeah.

Candice Wu 26:56

..how do you set these major aspects of your life, some traumatic and some very profound sounds like and beautiful, into an understanding of what’s going on for you and why you’re here?

Erin Diedling 27:13

I think I’m here to help with this lifting up the planet to help with this raising the vibration in, if people’s gifts are turning on more and more, I hope and that’s one of the things I want to do with my show is connect people to resources. I mean, I connect people. I’ve connected people to marriages. I’ve connected people. People call me up for all kinds of things that have nothing to do with therapy or therapy referrals or energy referrals. They’re like, “Do you know I’m a good mechanic? Do you know? I’ve just, so, I think one of my missions that’s just sort of part of who I am that I don’t think about is to connect people and to connect them to each other into resources.

Erin Diedling 27:59

So, that’s, I think that’s maybe part of the spiritual mission that I don’t think about much because they just do it, and natural, but also in getting up the planet and the spirit of the planet to the newer place that we’re bringing it to, and we need some way-showers and some healers and planetary healers like yourself, where you can travel and ground different parts of the earth, and help touch the people, you know, energetically or emotionally in those different parts of the world, like you’re doing. I haven’t quite figured it out either. I…

Candice Wu 28:37

Yeah.

Erin Diedling 28:38

With developmental trauma, that’s the big thing, like, “why am I here? What, why am I here?”

Candice Wu 28:43

Right.

Erin Diedling 28:44

It’s so much easier to be in spirit, but I chose a body and I’ve had a near-death experience at least once and I’m like, “No, no, I’m here. I want to stay here for a reason. I’m not dying in this place. I’m in a fight through.” I had really bad, really bad food poisoning that almost killed me, and I remember the angels coming, and I remember the start of the wind tunnel. I’m like, “Nope, not going not. No, thank you. I know it’s a really beautiful magical place, but not yet.” So…

Candice Wu 29:21

Wow, that gave you a clear choice?

Erin Diedling 29:23

Yeah, that gave me a lot more fight, and I didn’t know anyone. I was in Bali by myself, and I didn’t know anyone, and I’m like, “I’m not going to do that to my family. I’m not going to die, where no one knows that I’m here and no one would know I’d be dead, and..”

Candice Wu 29:37

That sounds terrible.

Erin Diedling 29:40

Like, I’ve got…

Candice Wu 29:41

I’m so glad you didn’t die or choose to die. The world needs you. That’s Yeah.

Erin Diedling 29:51

And I thought that was very healing to though, too. Because I think what developmental trauma, there is a lot of that resignation, like, you know, I’m not going to hurt myself but if I go in my sleep, no problem. And that’s normal, actually, for developmental. Well, I don’t, I don’t want to say what I don’t want to maybe gloss over and say that’s always normal, but it’s quite common to find with developmental trauma, people who aren’t quite fully in life, and aren’t quite committed, that there’s a little piece of them, that’s a way or a little. And now, when like my brother’s friend, when you actually start taking steps, that’s a whole other story. With developmental trauma, it’s a little bit more resignation or collapse, it’s not so much, “I’m going to do this and make this happen.”

Erin Diedling 30:39

The near-death experience definitely fixed me of wanting to go, wanting to fade away. So, it was a healing experience in that sense, because it brought back a fight, which is a big principle of somatic experience, right? And why animals in the wild don’t get post-trauma is because they, once they come out of that collapse or that play deadline state, that automatic physiological state of freeze or shock or impossible is like playing dead, there’s a scary fight that comes behind it. It’s scary to go into freeze. It’s really scary to come out because it’s so big.

Candice Wu 31:17

Yeah. And it’s so interesting that you’re coming out of freeze or parts of you coming out of freeze in that situation, were in the fight, the fight, I don’t know how you’d characterize it, but from the outside, the fight had to do with the food and the nourishment.

Erin Diedling 31:38

Mind blown. So true.

Candice Wu 31:41

That’s interesting to me, because like, it’s not, it wasn’t about the sexual trauma or about X, Y or Z that was, it was about the food.

Erin Diedling 31:52

Yeah, and that was a big piece to work on after it and to recover. My God, it took me 10 years to get my gut back. Not that it took me a couple of years to get it back from that food poison, it was being able to receive nourishment, has that shows up a lot with developmental trauma, like deserving nourishment, deserving warms, deserving love, you know, being worthy of having a body, being worthy of kindness, like, those are big items.

Candice Wu 32:25

They’re huge in the developmental and life, in general.

Erin Diedling 32:30

Yeah, and sometimes I will find both in myself, but also, you know, clients are often a reflection of us, that receiving the kindness, receiving the good words receiving the nourishment, that it’s almost painful to take it in. If you’re used to not or not having it, you start to make subconscious rules about well, I if I can’t take it in, or if I didn’t get the nourishment, I must not deserve it, you know. And that these messages from the hypnotic state we’re in, like the minds and little hypnotic state, and until about three or four years old, sometimes until about seven, where we just absorb what the big people are doing with no challenge, like, oh, that’s how to do relationship. That’s how to do nourishment. That’s how to do love. That’s how to do your work. T hat’s how to do money, and then we just walk around and it goes into the, and then embeds…

Candice Wu 32:35

or wired for that.

Erin Diedling 33:00

And this is like, “How did I end up in my parents’ marriage? or How did I become, you know, my grandpa? How did, it’s wired or it got wired in, and then we there’s like an autopilot that can come up unless we start to come in and challenge it or overcome or make our choices.

Candice Wu 33:54

So, when you’re doing inner baby work, and I’m thinking about the inner baby and pre-birth.

Erin Diedling 34:02

Yeah.

Candice Wu 34:02

And what do you find interesting about or how do you work with pre-birth, prenatal and the whole period before you’re actually in the womb or born?

Erin Diedling 34:14

Yeah, um, well, I there are two answers to that. There’s the clinical and there’s the energetic, and there are a lot of places where the clinical the energetic overlap, I actually have a questionnaire or a document that I asked like, what was going on in your life? What was going on when you were just dating? Politically, what were the popular songs? What was in the culture where your mom was just sitting with you? Was it safe? Like, you know, was mom in a war zone, where their natural disasters, was it? Was it just the most wonderful experience ever?

Erin Diedling 34:49

I’d like to emphasize: I don’t like to lead people into the negative stuff. The questionnaire just kind of asked generally, like, what was happening politically? Did your mom have certain cravings? How did they find out that they were pregnant with you? What were you told? And the thing is, the little one, from the time the nervous system starts to develop, it will start to record sensation, whatever people believe, and I don’t mean to step on political or religious toes, just from when the nervous system will begin to register sensation once is formed enough to register sensation. And I, actually, personally I’ve gone back and I remember trying to climb up.

Erin Diedling 35:35

My mom was in a session in somatic experience when I was an SE student, and I was like, I think this looked a little heavier than I anticipated. So, I tried to climb up my mom’s spine, but I didn’t have hands and the woman looked at me and she goes, look at your hands. You don’t have hands yet. And my fists were like rolled in, and it was like my risk for sticking out and…

Candice Wu 35:59

Oh, yeah.

Erin Diedling 36:00

…and I said, but there was almost like an energetic. Nope, you’re staying. And I like to think in energy, we have a lot of choice, and so, I’m not sure what made that choice for me, but I felt overwrote, overwritten and because I feel like the little ones come from this magical unlimited place. And it’s like yeah, great, I’ll take a body no problem. Oh, gravity. Oh, time

Candice Wu 36:26

What’s all this?

Erin Diedling 36:27

Yeah. And it’s like, “no problem. Sexual Abuse. I got that. I’m not unlimited being it’ll be fine. When I get out, look out and that was like, whoa, just bigger than I thought.

Candice Wu 36:40

My goodness, right.

Erin Diedling 36:42

So, that was my experience but getting to work with an inner baby in the pre-birth. I’ll ask people like what do you know about your gestation? What do you know? Are there funny, fun stories that your parents have told you with adopted kids? It gets interesting if they don’t know about the birth parent, but their little nervous systems were there, and so, their little systems were recording sensation, and recording the field and the level of acceptance around them being at the anticipation of their birth. Like or it was their joy all around? Was everyone thrilled? Couldn’t wait? Like when my baby brother was announced, I was just on pins and needles. I couldn’t wait to meet this little guy or girl. I didn’t know.

Candice Wu 37:34

Yeah.

Erin Diedling 37:35

And there was just so much, he healed the whole family, you know, coming in totally unexpected. I had given up praying for a little brother or sister. I was like, “Oh, that’s never gonna happen and years later, surprise!

Candice Wu 37:49

Oh, my goodness, what’s the age difference?

Erin Diedling 37:51

13 years.

Candice Wu 37:53

Wow. So yeah, you had given up.

Erin Diedling 37:57

Yeah, I was the baby, and then he came along and I got to help raise him. We all go like my older brother and I got to name him, and he was so wanted and so his kids. Now, that now he has kids, and so I get to be that Auntie, but in some ways, they feel almost like, I hear all the grandparents describing the experience. I’m like, it kind of feels like that, too because I raised them, I helped to raise them, and we all did, we had four parents.

Candice Wu 38:25

That’s a lot of parents, my goodness.

Erin Diedling 38:26

My parents, and my older brother, and me.

Candice Wu 38:32

Erinn, one of the most profound experiences that I’ve had with pre-birth, I did that when I had no idea about energy really, I mean, it was just very early on. I was doing EMDR with a therapist, and she was like, let’s work on being in the womb because all of the work that we’ve done already was the early trauma work and early development, and infants, inner baby everything, and then she’s like, let’s go farther.

Erin Diedling 39:03

Wow. What did you, how is it like that?

Candice Wu 39:07

Well, coming from the place of like, what the hell do you mean? How are we supposed to do that? Like, I just didn’t understand, at that point in my life, how that could even be possible, and how we would do it or how it would be accurate, like, I was concerned with it being right, in some way or like that I was getting the right information and I didn’t have that much trust for just what my inner being would tell me. It was just developing.

Erin Diedling 39:38

Yeah.

Candice Wu 39:39

And so, this was a huge step to it. She was like, well, we would do EMDR With tuning into just your impression of what it was like when you were in the womb. And so, we did talk a little bit about those things you’re saying, like, …

Erin Diedling 39:56

Because you were there.

Candice Wu 39:57

…what was going on?

Erin Diedling 39:58

There’s a story, we’re told if we have a story, and then there’s actually what happened,

Candice Wu 40:03

Right?

Erin Diedling 40:04

Because you were there.

Candice Wu 40:04

And so, we have the felt sense if we can just allow it to come through, and so yeah, we talked about how my mom would go to the park every day and cry because she was really upset about her marriage and left someone behind in Hong Kong. She was in the States, and she would go and cry because she missed him, every day. And I remember asking my mom, like, were you excited to have me? What were your feelings about being pregnant? And she was like, “I don’t know, nothing.” I was so devastated, and you know, it was like nothing.

Candice Wu 40:42

Like, you are like overjoyed or waiting for me, and I just had all these ideas of what I wanted, right? Which said a lot about what I was missing, and where she was that…

Erin Diedling 40:51

How did find out? The crying, was that from your felt your impression? or was did she finally tell you?

Candice Wu 40:59

Well, she had to told me that maybe five years prior, and just out of a conversation, and I never thought anything of it and so it did lead back to this healing work that I was doing. And so, I was like, “Oh, this is what I know about it.” And it did lead me to ask her more, which then, in turn, gave me the responses of, “No, I don’t know nothing. I didn’t.”

Erin Diedling 41:24

I know I just cried every day, but nothing.

Candice Wu 41:28

Yeah, right. You remember that, but not anything else. So I, when I did tune into it, I felt horribly depressed, and like this dark, dark world. And I think, you know, now looking back at that work, and just in general, I do think a part of me had already left, like a part of me didn’t come all the way, and so, it was like I had already, you know, a half part of me or some, only some part was coming into this human form.

Erin Diedling 42:01

Almost like a preemie because a lot of preemies are in two worlds.

Candice Wu 42:05

Oh, interesting. Can you say more?

Erin Diedling 42:08

Well, I heard that and sometimes, it’s not about like, “I’m going to go and dwell on the past.” It’s more like if you can name it, it can explain your whole life, and then you have more choice.

Candice Wu 42:18

Yes. Right. It can free you from the things that it affected and it echoed outward, and then you’re like, oh, I don’t have to live by those bounds anymore.

Erin Diedling 42:29

I remember going to a colleague, who had a premature little one, and I remember being in the room. Parents were around the incubator. So, you know, so much love and so much sweetness and the nurse would come in and out, and I would notice like the little one is sometimes he opened his eyes, and he’d be like, yeah, okay, yeah, I’m out. And so, it just seemed like his soul and spirit would come in, check things out and be like, okay, the nurses, my body’s got this handled, the, you know, medical team, mom’s got it handled. I don’t know about those grandparents. But okay, bye. And then he just like hop in and out like, like, he wasn’t totally invested, and other people were keeping his body well, and other things were keeping his body well, including his body, that the body has its own genius. And I’ve heard it said that preemies have a foot in two worlds that it’s in the world of the spirit and in the world of the earth, and I wasn’t a preemie, but that really hit home. So, the idea that maybe that’s why I relate to you so much, how you said a part of you was already checked out, a part of you that already gone away.

Candice Wu 43:42

And now, right. And now, you’re making me wonder what, how that shows up in the family constellations and perspective. You know, if part of the baby, the new soul that’s coming in is still in the other world, in the spirit world, who are they with and why are they there? There’s something there. Perhaps, I don’t know, I haven’t exactly worked on that with that scenario, it hasn’t exactly come up, but it will tell you a very healing experience around this whole story of mine is that one family constellation that I did with myself and have also facilitated for others when it’s intuitively called upon, and like what’s needed, is just curling up in a ball, and the facilitator was like, everyone just gather around like it’s a womb, and everyone surrounded me and like hugged me.

Erin Diedling 44:41

Wow.

Candice Wu 44:42

I was rolled up in a ball, and I know that some people do like re-birthing experiences. It wasn’t like a prescribed a birthing experience, but it was everything you’re saying about the energetic field and the feeling sense that you’re coming into, and restoring and correcting that and so everyone was surrounding me, and I was of course balling. The facilitator was like, everyone here loves you, and is expecting and waiting for you to come, and you can come at your own pace, but they’re just expecting in waiting for you and they love you, and I was like the perfect, most magical thing ever.

Erin Diedling 45:25

Wow.

Candice Wu 45:26

So, I mean, if you’re listening to this, if you’re out there listening to this, and this is really touching or tugging some part of you, listen to that because there may be something that your inner baby wants or is receiving around that image, and I don’t know about you, Erin, but whenever we’re working with infancy or pre-birth, it’s such a tender,

Erin Diedling 45:51

And there aren’t words…

Candice Wu 45:52

…and tender place.

Erin Diedling 45:53

It’s such a profound felt sense, was that incredibly reparative for you? Were you able to have it?

Candice Wu 46:00

Incredibly, you know, the interesting thing to speaking of when you were saying: it’s not necessarily about going to the past, just rehashing it all for no good reason. What was going on around that time in my adult present-day life? Was that I was getting ready to birth myself into healing work in the way that I wanted to like my spirit wanted to and all of me wanted to? Not just the clinical parts of me, and not just the parts of you that do yoga, but all of it together. And I was scared, and I wasn’t sure the world wanted it, and you know, now it’s like, well, that may or may not matter because it’s part of my desire if the world wants it, but developmentally, it was something I needed to feel for myself lately, completely related to birth.

Erin Diedling 46:53

And there are some theories that say how we come in, how we just did, how we come into the world, can, in many ways, save our lives, and like you were saying, you know, you have more choice or that the echoes are there, but then now that you know that you can have more clarity on how to move forward, sometimes it even just meaning it.

Candice Wu 47:15

Yeah. And just to feel that worth and feel that reception of love from the outside. It’s such a different experience than feeling like, I don’t know if the world cares about me or values me or do I even exist? Those are all, you know, things that had gone on in me because of developmental disruptions and the lineage, and all sorts of things. But, you know, speaking of that researcher saying, Erin, there’s also, reminds me of some research that I was learning about when I was in grad school that I think it was in the EMDR research, where some people found that people who killed themselves would kill themselves in a similar format as a birth trauma.

Erin Diedling 48:05

Oh, wow.

Candice Wu 48:06

It was like, yeah, if it was a birth that was drug-induced, then maybe they ODed on some drugs.

Erin Diedling 48:15

Or if the cord was wrapped around their neck, then I don’t know how to say it, but I’m just, I just got…

Candice Wu 48:20

Or they were forceps, right? If it was a breathing issue or heart rate stopping, that there was some mimicking that would go on later.

Erin Diedling 48:30

Wow.

Candice Wu 48:31

If that correlated, if someone was, obviously is not causation, but…

Erin Diedling 48:36

Right.

Candice Wu 48:37

…they just found that core reason with people who had committed suicide. And so…

Erin Diedling 48:44

And you can do empowering work around those, I’ve seen people do you know birth work on the table, and you know where they still have, or where the swelling will come up in the head with the forceps where. Those are very common, until a certain date to put mom to sleep, and just pulled a little one out with forceps, or whatever, and I think up until the 50s, maybe early 60s, and it’s in The Crown. I don’t know if you watch the show, The Crown. But I think there’s two babies, you know, they just hand the babies to her after she wakes up, and then when she has Andrew, she’s awake and pushing. So, there was, you can see where the cut off was or where the new theories came in.

Candice Wu 49:39

Wow.

Erin Diedling 49:39

But I’ve seen people on the therapy table in a class for the clinical touch work, where they’re repairing how they came in, and the swelling in the head where the forceps were touching, and to just even just gently placed a hand there, and it was, I’ll never forget this moment, I’m the instructor was doing a demonstration with one of the students. And he had his hand where the four steps would have played hit on her head or would have clamped down, and what a way to come in. And I remember her hand, she’s grown woman in her hand came up and wrapped a couple of fingers around his thumb, as a baby would.

Erin Diedling 50:25

Like, “Oh, it’s like, Did you see that?” And I was like, you know, “Oh, I saw that.”

Candice Wu 50:33

So, gosh, wow. Yeah, it’s amazing.

Erin Diedling 50:37

So, there is repetitive work that can be done without having to harm oneself, but…

Candice Wu 50:42

Absolutely.

Erin Diedling 50:43

I think the patterns come up; Not because life is harsh, but so that we can heal it in a place where we’re more empowered than maybe we were when we were coming into the world, helpless, someone helpless.

Candice Wu 50:57

Absolutely. Well, I want to shift gears here, Erin. Because I’m also very interested in your work with supporting people when their gifts are opening up and turning on, and can you speak a little bit about what you mean by that, so, our listeners can understand what that means, and also what kinds of things of that people notice in themselves when their gifts are turning off.

Erin Diedling 51:26

Yeah, and I guess I just use the lingo, and I don’t even think that that doesn’t make sense to everybody. So, I think kids are born intuitive. We have, we’re in touch with energy, animals in the wild have senses that in some ways we turn off as humans, they have an intuition or knowing or, and we have intuitions and knowing things, and some people have the more than others, and depending on what kind of level of acceptance there was maybe in the home or the commuter or the school, we may turn those gifts down or they may just be dormant in us all our lives, and then we reach a point in say, adulthood, or adolescence, when we start to come in touch with energy or feel energy or see auras or see that almost the matrix, whether we actually see a visual or kind of see it in a knowing understanding, and it deserves support.

Erin Diedling 52:32

So, that’s when I am when someone’s gifts are turning out, and they turned on in different ways, and there’s more and more permission on the planet. I think little ones are coming in, way more in touch with energy. The newer generations are just, it’s almost like they’re high def babies, that high definition babies that they just, they already have their skills and abilities built-in, and we’re not going to teach it out of them. But as I think just this week, I had four or five referrals from whose energy gifts, who’s awareness whose spiritual aspects of self are turning on in different ways, and they kind of don’t know what to do with it or when you have that level of communication, it’s important to get communicated with.

Candice Wu 53:19

Yeah.

Erin Diedling 53:19

And you probably find this as an energy worker, it is not work that can be done in a vacuum, it can feel isolating, and there are so many other people out there that can communicate with you about energy. And sometimes, it’s cool to talk to someone that came from a different tradition, someone who’s maybe more Christian or more into angels are more into astrology and my tradition.

Erin Diedling 53:46

The training I went through, I actually dabbled in lots of schools, my agreement at this, I actually attended a psychic school, and the agreement was to only take classes at that school, but I was like Hermione and I double dipped, and I would take classes from schools around the country online while I was also taking classes in person, just to see how other people did it. And I think it’s important to have communication and have ongoing communication. I would guess I’m not musically inclined in any way, but if you play the violin, it might be nice to play the violin with a mouse or have a coach or…

Candice Wu 54:25

Absolutely, just to have that support and…

Erin Diedling 54:31

…community

Erin Diedling 54:32

So, one of the things I like to do with someone when their gifts are turning on is to look at what are their strongest gifts? You know, are they intuitive? Do they have the thing where they can hold an object and tell you the history of the object or are they master manifester? Are they empaths? Lots of people are empaths, and where you can literally feel the emotion of another person. And I think that’s hardwired into us, and we can be more or less into that. There’s clairvoyance, where you see images, there’s clairvoyance where you hear answers, and you actually know that they’re your answers or you know the difference between what’s your voice and what’s another voice. Not to be confused with Schizophrenia, which, that is the official definition of Schizophrenia, is you hear voices and you see visions and whatnot, but maybe the DSM 6 will negotiate that.

Erin Diedling 54:32

But someone who is clairaudient knows, “Oh, that’s my higher self talking to me or, you know, that’s not a right answer for me, that’s just fuzz.” The microphone rubbing against my sweatshirt.

Candice Wu 55:46

Right.

Erin Diedling 55:49

That’s an inside joke with Candice and me because my microphone always rubs on my sweatshirt while we are doing this interview.

Erin Diedling 56:00

So, communication is important, so, when people come to me, I give them some communication, and usually I just send them off on their own, and a friend of mine gave me a talking to and said, because I have hang-ups about making people feel obligated and lots of coaches are saying, Oh, you have to sell packages, and I resist the living daylights out of selling packages because I feel like I’m more of a point of us kind of person, and people know what they need and they’ll come in if they need something or they’ll ask for a referral. And my friend was like, “No, no, no, no, no.” You’re helping people, you’re giving them their first communication on turning their abilities on are there you’re giving them a psychic reading for the first time, and it’s, in that reading alone is helping them turn on their abilities, you can just set them off and not at least leave the door open. I was like, “Oh, the doors always open.” She said, “Well, you need to make that clear.” Because you send them off with this new ability there. They might feel a little crazy going back into the world, and so I’ve had to rethink.

Candice Wu 57:03

Yeah, it’s like so important, because then as you turn on, and it enhances or it gets clearer, more plugged in, different things, I think different things can happen there.

Erin Diedling 57:16

Yeah. What do you do with it?

Candice Wu 57:19

With clients or with myself?

Erin Diedling 57:21

With people that will say their abilities are turning on the reach out to you, what do you do or is that like, is that a niche for you? I mean, I assume it is because you’ve turned years on.

Candice Wu 57:33

Yeah, it’s, um, I find that I have very intuitive clients in general and empathic clients. I don’t always get someone saying those words to me, but they get I get the words that they’re feeling, they’re getting more information or they’re having different insights, how do they cultivate that or how do they cultivate their interest tuition or the ability to do any one of those things that you’re saying, how do they use that because they want to. Usually, I’m getting the people that want to use those gifts for some purpose. That’s helpful or joyful for them, and others around them.

Candice Wu 58:20

But yeah, I just go with what they’re experiencing and really validate it. That’s like the biggest.

Erin Diedling 58:26

Yeah.

Candice Wu 58:26

A lot of times people say, “Oh, Isn’t it weird that I get this?” Wow, I have this image right now. It’s so weird. You might think I’m weird. So, like, deconstruct it, like ripping off the weird bandaid.

Erin Diedling 58:39

Yeah.

Candice Wu 58:41

Like, it’s not. Right. And recently, someone just felt like, wow, okay, if I take the weird idea off of my plate, then what can happen? And when she did, she found her and so much flow and information, but that she was actually very readily and easily navigating it.

Erin Diedling 59:10

Nice. You took the judgment piece off.

Candice Wu 59:14

Yeah.

Erin Diedling 59:15

Yeah.

Candice Wu 59:17

Yeah, to answer your question, I think it’s just very different depending on with what they’re coming in with and where they’re at with it. I’m usually working with clearing away beliefs that are around it, that’s judgment or fear, and why there’s fear, and maybe that’s to do with past life or present life or lineage, and then that generally helps them feel at ease with the gifts and then they can just be on more naturally. And then just letting, seeing how they can find the answer themselves. If they’re like, “Well, what do I do with this?” And they just feel into it. They’re like, “Okay, I do know what to do.”

Candice Wu 1:00:03

I think what, you know, one of my major gifts with people is clearing the garbage.

Erin Diedling 1:00:10

Yes.

Candice Wu 1:00:10

And it’s not quite garbage. It’s beautiful debris. It’s just, we might see it as garbage, but it’s clearing away all that stuff that is preventing what’s naturally wanting to come through…

Erin Diedling 1:00:24

Nice, yeah.

Candice Wu 1:00:25

…and then the natural gift can just be harnessed and shine, and I imagine that’s what you’re doing to, Erin, in completing pieces.

Erin Diedling 1:00:35

I give a lot of permission, I think is how I would put it and even just hearing you talk, I’m like, oh, you know, since I love psychic school, I’ve actually become more intuitive because one of the reasons I learned so much, I’m so grateful to that school, and there are particular traditions and ways to do things or that was my perception. And it was very much about six chakras and coming from your clairvoyance, and that’s where your neutrality is, don’t come from your heart, because then, you know, you just gonna be one with everyone, how are you going to know who you are? So, I had all this judgment about the heart. And, you know, we’re not into angels, and we’re not into this and…

Candice Wu 1:01:18

It’s a lot of limitations…

Erin Diedling 1:01:19

…and I’m still unpacking that. Years later, I’m unpacking the, I guess, the tradition, and I’m and I’m not saying like that was my interpretation of the rules plus my own resistance to actually listening, and I am, so, now it’s like, well to, you know, does the Mexican place look like a better place to eat or do I feel like Thai food? I know, it’s kind of a silly thing or the GPS is a real thing.

Candice Wu 1:01:53

A real daily thing.

Erin Diedling 1:01:56

Intuitive eating, that’s a big, you know, a big piece of recovering helping people recover from eating disorders is, you know, what does your body asking for? And why? Or what does it stand for, and let it and it, but even with GPS or something like she’s telling me to turn this way, but my gut says go that way. So, you know, I drive by psychic as well. Like, this just doesn’t feel right to me, and I feel like I have become more intuitive and had more permission, and was fascinated by people who had the permission, you know, to just listen to, like, clear away the garbage, as you say, the beautiful garbage.

Candice Wu 1:02:37

Yeah. That’s wonderful. So, Erin, what would you say is one thing people can do if they’re out there listening, and they want to harness their gift or intuition or their ability to see energy, feel or see energy? What would you recommend?

Erin Diedling 1:02:59

I’m kind of a learning junkie. So, I would encourage maybe finding some information, whether it’s through another person through video, through meditation, through your podcast.

Candice Wu 1:03:12

Through your talk show.

Erin Diedling 1:03:14

Thank you.

Candice Wu 1:03:15

It’s called Word Up, and she has awesome guests on there that I think are talking about, right?

Erin Diedling 1:03:21

Including you.

Candice Wu 1:03:24

That was a really fun show.

Erin Diedling 1:03:27

So, if they’re feeling a little lost about it, maybe getting some information. And another step is getting a community around it. If it’s a healer, that they could go get an appointment with, just get a hello or, you know, there’s some wonderful nondenominational spiritual communities or denominational, you know, wherever you’re called to that, I think it’s so important to be in community with others, even if it’s just one friend who speaks that same kind of energy language, in love of energy language, to maybe not be so alone in it, because….

Candice Wu 1:04:04

Absolutely.

Erin Diedling 1:04:05

…energy is meant to flow, right? And energy is a currency and what is currency means to flow and, and to get communication on it, and consider sharing your gifts with yourself or others. Those gifts are turning on for a reason. And, you know, they’re trying to take you good places.

Candice Wu 1:04:28

I love that you said “sharing it with yourself” because that’s very powerful and very sweet.

Erin Diedling 1:04:36

Well, thank you. I guess another thing would be, getting grounded around it, that sometimes, energy stuff can feel a little blue or out there and sort of like a boat in the water. You can get tossed around a bit by the waves and whatever’s going on in the world or whatever’s going on at work or in the home. In that stillness, that connection to the earth, like the meditation you did in Zion, it was so beautiful.

Candice Wu 1:05:08

Oh, yeah.

Erin Diedling 1:05:09

That the stillness is a really great way to share that gift with yourself, that connection to the earth or whatever it is that gets you grounded and centered, and as you have an opportunity to have stillness. And also know that sometimes, there are plenty of things that will resist the stillness.

Candice Wu 1:05:26

Yeah.

Erin Diedling 1:05:26

Like, “Oh, I want to go to the gym.” And being at the gym is easy as getting to the gym then sometimes is the hard part, like, you know.

Candice Wu 1:05:37

Yeah, and all the things that come up when you decide to have stillness and you just moving through. Well, Erin, this is something we didn’t talk about before but as we’re closing the show today, if this is interesting to you, the idea I had was what you do or we could do a quick reading on, I hesitate to say reading, for me, because it’s not what I do, but whatever you call it, sensing in or reading into reading, the energy of whoever’s listening, the community that’s listening, at the moment that they’re going to listen.

Erin Diedling 1:06:22

Yeah, I see.

Candice Wu 1:06:22

You want to try it?

Erin Diedling 1:06:24

Yeah, I’m sensing in. Are you going to do it together?

Candice Wu 1:06:28

We could. I don’t mind to do it with you, but I’m also happy if you do want to do by yourself, either way.

Erin Diedling 1:06:36

Can we do it together? I just love reading with other people. It’s or taking intuitive glances.

Candice Wu 1:06:44

Yes, I like that. That’s exactly what my thought was, an intuitive glance. I love these words.

Erin Diedling 1:06:50

And what I’m seeing just even before, even before you said the whole thing, I close my eyes and I was seeing my little nephews music school. So, they’ve got some comfy places to sit and a big open area to almost like a cross between a yoga room and a playroom, and a music school, and I just see different people. I see a lot of females more, like, more female than male, and sitting on these comfy cushions and yoga mats and, like, listening intently. Your voice is very soothing. And…

Candice Wu 1:06:58

I did owe to you.

Erin Diedling 1:07:38

Thank you, and I see a few women in particular, they’re like, “Uh-huh, yeah, yeah, check, check,” like checking off a few lists in their mind or checking off like, yep, I got that, and so it’s just validating, like, yeah, I already knew that, I already knew that, I already knew that, that’s me snapping the background. But hearing it made it so obvious that they already know.

Candice Wu 1:08:09

Yeah.

Erin Diedling 1:08:10

It’s like, I didn’t even need to listen to that. I knew that already, but hearing it and getting the communication on certain gifts are certain, it looks like some things popped. I’m also seeing some people having insight around baby stuff around and getting curious about their own births, and just stations and, and some people have really wonderful births and deliveries, and welcomings. So, I’ll stop and ask you what are you sensing?

Candice Wu 1:08:41

A couple of things, I feel, I feel this sense of some women being like, “I am done, I have just done” and for whatever that means for them, but there’s this sense of shutting off something that has been…

Erin Diedling 1:09:03

beautiful garbage.

Candice Wu 1:09:05

Yeah, closing in on them, that doesn’t make sense anymore, and I sent some grief around that or other things around the baby stuff, and then the other feeling sense I get is that some people are experiencing or may experience different emotions around this conversation, and may or may not be left with it, and they may not have words for it, and I think taking a deep breath, as I said, it feels really good to say it is that, it’s just a reminder, if that is happening to anyone out there, that very well could be some pre-birth or non-verbal stuff. And to not be, it may feel scary, but do not be scared off by it because there’s a way to name it, there’s a way to place it and heal it if it needs healing, but the experience that, something is happening in my body, and I have no idea why. That’s what I am getting.

Erin Diedling 1:10:23

And that, this isn’t so much reading as it is information, but when I interviewed my touch work instructor, he talked about that verbal narrative, and when we have the baby stuff, the things that happened in the womb or that happened in early life, that there will be these unexplained extra pains or unexplained emotions. And…

Candice Wu 1:10:58

Yeah.

Erin Diedling 1:10:58

…that might be, but some of what you’re speaking to, and more on the psychic plane, an intuitive plane, this classroom I’m seeing is like an astral classroom, where people gather and come in and out, and some are, it’s almost a ritual to come to this classroom that you have created, and that we’ve kind of put up us healing sphere around the globe and around the people that are listening to it now and we’ll listen to it in the future or listening to it more immediately what is released, and then we’ll be listening to it later, and that there is a community in this classroom that you have created on the astral plane, where people come in and out of.

Candice Wu 1:11:44

I love that.

Erin Diedling 1:11:45

And I’m seeing some of the women in this room and some of the men are all across the gender spectrum. So, some of the individuals who come in here are regulars, and are like, ready for your next, like, waiting for the next release, waiting for say this episode or like the regularity of it, and that it is a place of community and as a place of communication on the astral plane, and then it can be communicated with even when this isn’t playing, that it’s like a place to go and get resources or get a hello or get according to be like, hey, that’s some support. There’s a feeling of being part of something when listening to your podcast, that you have created a classroom, so, it’s a reading about the audience was also a bit about you too what you’re creating.

Candice Wu 1:12:54

Yeah, thank you. That’s really helpful to hear that.

Erin Diedling 1:12:59

Yeah.

Candice Wu 1:12:59

I can feel that very much, and I love that. It’s definitely what I hope that people feel from it, and what I want everyone to feel welcome in that community, in this community and the place for all of you.

Erin Diedling 1:13:14

Absolutely.

Candice Wu 1:13:17

Thanks, Erin. Where can people find you? I know you’re on YouTube. Erin Diedling, right? Word Up.

Erin Diedling 1:13:23

Yes.

Candice Wu 1:13:24

Yeah.

Erin Diedling 1:13:24

Channel, my name.

Candice Wu 1:13:25

We’ll link it in the show notes.

Erin Diedling 1:13:27

Thank you.

Candice Wu 1:13:28

You can take a look. Yeah.

Erin Diedling 1:13:29

And my website…

Candice Wu 1:13:30

And your website…

Erin Diedling 1:13:31

It’s again, it’s my name www.erindiedling.com, and they can call. I don’t know if you want a phone number, but it’s in the US.

Candice Wu 1:13:41

That’s okay, we’ll put it in the show notes or in the link so that people can reach you.

Erin Diedling 1:13:45

Right, It’s on the website, too.

Candice Wu 1:13:47

Yeah. Good, good. Thank you so much. It’s such an honor. I had so much fun. I learned a lot.

Erin Diedling 1:13:54

I learned a lot, of course. I never know where the conversation is going to go, and it takes all these switchbacks and turns, and cool, and I learned so much, and I just love being around your presence. I just love being around you, and even if it’s while you’re in Spain, and I’m in Chicago on a snowy day, like I, it’s just so yummy to get around you. I know I keep using that word yummy, but it is.

Candice Wu 1:14:20

It is so yummy. Thank you so much.

Erin Diedling 1:14:23

Thank you for having me on the show. What a treat.

Candice Wu 1:14:28

Thank you so much to Erin, who was on the show today, and for you out there listening, thanks for joining us. It’s just so wonderful when you talk with somebody or you hear a conversation and you feel like you’re inspired to learn more about something. I hope that this episode did that for you today, and if you have any questions reach out to me or Erin. We’re happy to connect with you. I’m so inspired by Erin’s attention to detail in the science of things as well as her expansiveness in intuiting information, not to mention the touch work and the neuro sequential stages of development and pre-birth stuff. Ah, I love that work. So, I’d love to hear what excites you about this conversation. Feel free to reach out again and take care until next time, I look forward to connecting with you again on the Embody Podcast.

Candice Wu 0:00

This week we had a special guest, Erin Diedling on the show, where we got to talk all about developmental trauma, healing the inner baby, pre-birth and prenatal trauma as well as clearing up all the beautiful garbage that stops us from being in our spiritual gifts and in our human gifts. Check out the full episode at CandiceWu.com/erin.

Hello, and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, embodied healing, and self-love.

My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist, sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Today, we’re going to shift gears and tune into an abundance meditation led by Erin herself. Get comfortable and relax because this is going to help you bring clarity to all the to desire in your life, and she encourages us to go all out not economy size with what we want, and the abundance that we would like to feel, and here’s Erin.

Erin Diedling 1:26

Hello, my name is Erin Diedling, and I’d like to walk you through an abundance meditation today. We’re going to play with energy, with your dreams, your goals, the things that you want for your future, what I affectionately like to call, mockups. So, go ahead and buckle in, it’s going to be a fun ride.

I invite you to bring in a beautiful column of light from the furthest reaches of creation, from the edges of the universe, and go ahead and bring in this column of light from the furthest reaches to the top of your head, all through your body, out your hands, out your feet and let this column of light surround you in love in creation and the energy of everything as possible. Well, you notice is that column of light goes through you and goes all the way down to the heart of the earth, the core center of the earth. Will you notice yourself connecting with the core center of the earth and anchoring to your home planet, and when you anchor in, will you just notice how much mother earth wants you to win, how much mother earth wants to cuddle you and anchor you, and support you and give you your blessed dreams.

The wonderful thing about earth is it helps make things real and helps you to manifest real things in your real life. So, go ahead and pull up the cord from the earth, and watches that column of light that went through the top of your head also swoops back around and comes up through your feet, in through your first chakra, all through your body, all the way up your column, your center column of energy, out through your hands, up into your heart and into your mind, and will you notice that every pore of your skin spills out with earth energy and that gorgeous universal creative energy.

Go ahead and check in with your heart’s center, and notice that in your heart’s center you have a really unique, beautiful signature life force, almost like an energetic fingerprint inside of your heart and inside of you. And will you expand out that beautiful energy signature that’s just for you, expanded out into a sphere all the way around you and be in your luscious, wonderful energy, and in that column of light from the universe, and in that anchoring cord from earth. So, now, you’re running your energy, you’re running earth energy, and you’re running divine cosmic energy, and this is a wonderful place to create from.

So, go ahead and out in your mind’s eye out in front of you, will you create a beautiful golden sphere are a bubble of energy and have it be a clear golden sphere, and maybe you want to add a color to that golden sphere. Maybe a little bit of pink for abundance, maybe a little bit of green for love. Whatever color occurs to you, that might be nice to add. Go ahead and add it in, and inside of the sphere, will you begin to place your dreams, your intentions, the things that you want to create for yourself, for your loved ones, for the planet.

Will you go ahead and put in your career aspirations, and this is no time to economize. This is no time to hold things down and stand back. This is a time to go all out? What do you really want? How do you want to be? How do you want to feel? How would you like to spend your time on a daily basis if money, time, education, and opportunity was no object? This is what you’ll be putting in the bubble. What you can continue to put in the bubble. What are the career themes? What do you really want in your career? What do you really want around love, around travel, and, financial abundance, spiritual abundance, family connection? Go ahead and start putting those things in the bubble. Start gathering them up, and one of the ways to supercharge your abundance bubble, your golden sphere of creation here, is to begin to feel what it is to have those things in your daily life.

What is it like to wake up in the morning in the home that you’ve always wanted or in the travel destination you’ve always wanted to go to? What is it like to wake up in the relationship that you aspire to? Maybe you already have a relationship and you want it to be even more loving? What does it feel like to give and to receive love with that partner? What does it feel like to have the time that you want, that you desire? What does it feel like to have the free time? What does it feel like to have the time to do your creations? What does it feel like to manifest those career things? What does it feel like to have the financial abundance and ultimately the freedom or opportunities that might bring you or your family?

And notice that you’re playing with energy, now you’re playing with intention, and will you go ahead and take a look at this abundance bubble that you have created. See the different things in the home, the loved ones, the love relationship, the travel, the career, the time, relaxation, the adventure, the experiences, the fun of it all, and leave ahead and put into your abundance bubble here. Anything you may have forgotten, anything that later on, they’ll be like, “Oh, I wish I put that in the bubble.” Just go ahead and intend that whatever you forgetting now goes into the bubble, that your heart’s desire works in your favor, that the cosmic creative energy, this divine column of light is working in your favor, and then the earth’s manifesting reality is in your favor, and anything you may have forgotten is already getting tossed into the bubble, that it can create.

And we’ll go ahead and drop out of that bubble, anything that you’re ready to let go of, any dust, any particles, anything that feels a little bit like it doesn’t quite belong in your abundance, anything that doesn’t quite feel like it belongs in your dream life. Just drop it away or ask the bubble to drop it away for you because this is your manifesting bubble. This is your dream life, and your dream life knows what to drop away.

And now, it’s time to release the bubble. So, what we’re going to do is take that bubble, and we’re going to go in one of two directions. You can either step into it and bring it closer into you and just be in the bubble, as if it’s already happened in present time. And if that feels right to do that, the other thing you can do with the bubble is you can send it out to the furthest reaches of the universe, like, “Hey universe, go ahead and take care of it.” Like the universe is your own personal assistant because it is, the universe wants your win, the universe wants to give to you, and this bubble is all about how big can you have it.

So, you can go ahead and hand off the bubble to the universe and say, “Will you please do my bidding?” Go ahead and let go, send it off. You can send it like you’re serving a volleyball. You can send it off like you’re doing a granny shot with a basketball or you can just push it up from you and watch it go, and know that that bubble will come back to you one day, one day soon with all of your manifestations. And your job is to go about your life and enjoy, and be grateful for the things you have now and the things you know are coming, and that my friends, is an abundance meditation.

Thank you so much for joining me, and I wish you all the abundance your heart desires. Thank you, take care, much love.

Candice Wu 12:44

Thank you so much for joining Erin today. If you’d like to check out other healing experiences and meditations by me and my guests on the Embody Podcast, go to my website at CandiceWu.com/podcast.

See you all next time on the Embody Podcast.