Take Your Sweet Time with Kremena Yordanova — EP73

Candice Wu 0:00

This episode is a transmission of energy and medicine straight from Kremena Yordanova and her ancestors. Here, she talks about doing things like you chose it, letting your life unfold and taking your sweet time and how she chose her own path in both corporate and yoga despite the pressures to be a full-time yoga teacher.

Candice Wu 0:22

Hello and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, embodied healing, and self-love.

Candice Wu 0:36

My name is Candice Wu and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist, sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 0:57

Before we jump into the episode today, I’d like to invite you to a very special workshop that’s happening on June 15, 2019, in Rochester Hills, Michigan. And the workshop is called Being in Beauty. And it’s a systemic and family constellation workshop along with somatic experiencing and self-forgiveness.

Candice Wu 1:21

And in this workshop will connect with what is beauty to you? Is it a deep sense of freedom and peace? Is it loving yourself and feeling like you are exactly who you are? Is it feeling intimacy and openness with loved ones or abundance and money in your life, in your career? Is it a sense of belonging or living the life you love, grace, flow, and harmony? Or feeling healthy and good in your own skin? Whatever your sense of beauty is, in this workshop will illuminate any hidden, unconscious dynamics that can be a challenge on your journey.

Candice Wu 2:00

What I found is that when we’re tangled up with previous soul or ancestral dynamics, or our personal historical traumas or overwhelming experiences, part of ourselves is still working that out, and our bodies take on this form and become the language of what’s happening at a deeper level. We end up with disease, with emotional imbalances, with pain or tension. And those are not the obstacle to ourselves, but the way. The obstacle is the way towards who we are, and what our soul wants us to know and learn so that we can give deep honoring and recognition to who we are.

Candice Wu 2:47

And so, the process of family or systemic constellations, and tuning into what the body is showing us allows us to acknowledge what is and what is underneath of those physical pain, those challenges with our bosses or the fighting that we might experience within us or in other relationships. And what unfolds is an organic healing and resolution of what was living itself through you and in your life, and frees you from that so you can be yourself in the ease that you are in the loving that you are, and the beauty that you desire in your life.

Candice Wu 3:27

So, if you want more information about this, you can find it at CandiceWu.com/bebeauty. And again, that’s on Saturday, June 15, in Rochester Hills, Michigan, and I would love for you to join even if you’re from out of town or if you’re local. Feel free to connect with me if you’d like to know more or have any questions.

Candice Wu 3:50

I’m really grateful to bring this lovely conversation with Kremena Yordanova here. She lives her passions in many worlds including yoga, entrepreneurship, and in the corporate world. And I’m inspired by how she looks at the subtleties of patterns in everyday life as ways to know herself and to support her yoga students.

Candice Wu 4:11

I loved in this episode where she talks about her ancestry and how she circled back to her Bulgarian roots and brings her retreats to Bulgaria, bringing the herbs and medicine of Bulgaria to people who are interested in learning about the country and the culture. Kremena fuses the philosophy of yoga with modern day life as the basis of her teachings. And her realistic, grounded and contemporary approach has made her a sought-after teacher in Amsterdam, with weekly practices in several studios, and at the W Hotel Amsterdam. So, without further ado, here is Kremena.

Candice Wu 4:52

So, it’s really a delight to have you here, Kremena, I really don’t know all that much about you, and I want to say your lovely work from what I’ve seen and heard from you. So, would you just begin by sharing with everyone here, who you are and what you’re doing in the world now?

Kremena Yordanova 5:13

First of all, thanks so much, Candice, for inviting me to really have a conversation around what is my passion and where I’m currently at. So, my name is Kremena, and I teach yoga classes, workshops, retreats, anything to do with yoga, really. And next to that I choose to maintain my full-time demanding job. What keeps me motivated and alive to be doing this work that I’m doing is the fact that you can do both without feeling guilty, that only one passion in life should be the guiding force behind everything you do.

Candice Wu 5:53

Oh, yeah, yeah, what is your full time work?

Kremena Yordanova 5:57

I, currently we hold a marketing activation, senior manager role within Reebok. And I have a team that I’m leading and I find that the vision for yoga gives me more opportunities to be connected with them in a more authentic way. I don’t see my team is people that work for me, we are creating things together, we just happen to be working together and putting good work out there. And I often hear them say, “You do realize where the most spiritual team”, or they’re making jokes like this just because sometimes I will align calendars with the moon and stuff like that, that they find amusing. But they deeply understand that yoga is a big part of who I am. And they never feel like it should be one or the other. We make space for both. But it’s a challenging and interesting job to do.

Candice Wu 7:06

That sounds fascinating. I love how you’ve brought your yoga itself to the world of the corporate, and I’ve heard you speak a little bit about that both and…

Kremena Yordanova 7:17

Totally.

Candice Wu 7:17

…at concept instead of one or the other. And how you’re bringing in your passions, making space for both. That’s something that I’ve had to really learn in my life as well. So, how did this come about for you with yoga and your passion for it and combining these worlds?

Kremena Yordanova 7:37

So, I found yoga quite late in my life, in a sense that I’ve never been one of those people that will be super into spirituality, or even any type of sports in any depth. But when I moved to the Netherlands, I fell in love with in the first Yoga class, in a sense that, I knew that this is my tribe, this is something that I kind of felt like I have unfinished business with something I didn’t even know, it’s within me. I am alive when I teach, and it’s kind of difficult to explain, you feel like you’re belonging, you feel like this is your purpose in life. And in the same time, it didn’t feel like it’s forceful, although it came quite late.

Kremena Yordanova 8:34

So, I moved to the Netherlands more than a decade ago. And I was very detached from…

Candice Wu 8:41

From Bulgaria.

Kremena Yordanova 8:43

…from Bulgaria, indeed, unwilling to live from Bulgaria, and I love coming back home. But recently, I can now proudly say that I find I’m set on being my home, which was been long, long journey. When I moved here, back into the days, I really didn’t feel like I belong. And yoga was the only thing that kept me grounded and kept me really being myself. Well, now I figured that I can be myself anywhere I go.

Kremena Yordanova 9:23

And transitioning from what I’ve learned on the mat, into the job I’m right now doing and any other thing I’ll be hopefully doing going forward is something that excites me, you have to be yourself, there is no one else and finding yoga and the path was inevitable for me. So, it seems now, but in the beginning was I will be just doing classes and start teaching, and people put this pressure on. “When are you going to be a full-time yoga teacher?” I think by default? I don’t understand. Have you experienced anything like that? Questions that puzzle you more than?

Kremena Yordanova 10:14

Never occurs, that it’s a thing, and it has to happen?

Candice Wu 10:21

Wait, what do you mean, it’s a thing it has done?

Kremena Yordanova 10:23

Well, people just assume that you would be liking to be doing just one of the things like, so, when are you branching out? When are you doing? And I feel the pressure of explaining that. It’s cost and choice that you can take every day, that you’re doing both, and you’re capable of doing both.

Candice Wu 10:46

I do, I do experience that I think it’s a and not specifically in that way, but I do experience this sort of questions from the outer world about my life, where the, it doesn’t matter apply. It’s like, it’s not a question for me. Like, for a time, I was feeling like I was just not wanting to make any plans in my life. And I was already traveling about a year and a half, and people were saying, “What’s next? Where’s the next place? What is your plan for the next year?” And I’m like, geez, I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow. Except for I know, I have my clients or something. And it was like, I don’t want to make a plan. And but yeah, I’m sure I assume things, too, when I asked questions, but sometimes that sort of like dumbfounded feeling of, wait, what, that’s not what I think about for myself, I can relate to that.

Kremena Yordanova 11:42

But it’s funny how we all project our own realities, which is amazing. But what you do with that information is totally up to you. And there is always a saying when you go in you ask for guidance, you already know the answer by seeking the person’s opinion. Often when students come to me and they asked me questions that they already know what I will tell them. Like, just ask the next person because you know my answer, and it’s too easy.

Kremena Yordanova 12:22

Yeah, it’s fascinating. This is something that lately it’s been on my mind. When students approached me after class, and they think we all have all the answers, and the only answer I can give is that they already know. Their deeper healing happens within them, and their answers are within them. And this constant seeking of external validation, it’s part of avoiding sometimes the answers that we already know. So, it’s fascinating how it happens.

Candice Wu 13:02

Yeah, I have found myself doing that before and at times. And maybe this is similar, but kind of a twist to that. It’s like, I seek the person that I want that specific answer to reflect what’s in me already. And I won’t go to this other person that will reflect it.

Kremena Yordanova 13:25

And every now and then someone will surprise you with an answer that you were like, “I really didn’t see this coming.”

Candice Wu 13:33

Right!

Kremena Yordanova 13:33

And then those are the people you need to cherish the most around you because you’re like, “Oh, You surprise me with this answer of yours.”

Candice Wu 13:42

Yeah.

Kremena Yordanova 13:43

And it’s fascinating how small ideas and even little conversations can make you change your mind or reconfirm old belief.

Candice Wu 13:54

Mm-hmm.

Kremena Yordanova 13:55

And then it’s again up to you which path you want to follow. In my current situation, the question is always been, why would you continue doing both? Do you not see that you can maybe do a hundred percent in one and hundred percent in another? But it happens for me that it balances me out so much better when I have a demanding job. But then again, I have my deeper work. That is my passion. And that is something that moves me deeply. And I get to share it with more people.

Kremena Yordanova 14:34

So I really, lately, everyone, when they asked me how are you doing? My only answer is: “Too good.” And they’re reaction on my answer is, what is fascinating? Some people don’t believe me, and I feel like I have to explain myself more. And some people are just like, taking it as it is and use it in their answers. And they say, “I have to say it with your accent, too good.” And it has this thing going on now everyone answers that. And because you’re hanging out with Kremena too long now if you’re answering that way, so it’s a good feeling, too.

Candice Wu 15:23

Sweet, how sweet.

Kremena Yordanova 15:23

It’s a good feeling.

Candice Wu 15:23

Yeah. So, when you say that your deeper work is your passion and it moves you deeply, what about your deeper work or your inner work or yoga moves you right now?

Kremena Yordanova 15:39

So, recently, we’re exploring the options of allowing people space and time to do the deeper work. In classes, normally, we don’t have enough time to equip them or just give them ideas around health, self-healing, and finding what the patterns are that they’re working with. Often, we always say, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. And in a limited one hour class, you might see only a glimpse of what’s going on in your life and in your mat. But what excites me most is when we provide a week-long retreat, where you’re detached from your daily routines, and you’re invited to explore what is really going on within you. What is it that desire some my attention, or you haven’t paid much attention just because you choose to distract yourself?

Kremena Yordanova 16:52

And the retreats are a big bulk of the work I’m doing right now that I learned a lot about myself. And it’s something that we do together with a group or just a few of my closest friends. But it’s something that allows me to find out more. And, again, that confidence that this really is what I meant to be doing. And the small “aha” moments when we get together and shared, it’s something that I cannot even put into words, you have to be there to know that oneness exists with a simple chanting of all or anything that we really do with this feeling of togetherness is very powerful, to me, at least.

Candice Wu 17:47

Absolutely, I find the same thing when I’m doing retreats, there’s that shared connection and going inward together.

Candice Wu 17:57

Totally.

Candice Wu 17:58

That you’re speaking of, “Yeah, that’s beautiful.” And that detachment from your daily life to give enough space, that sounds really lovely.

Kremena Yordanova 18:07

It’s so important when people lack the connection with nature, with themselves, it’s very easy to only live in your head. And you are capable of doing that. And it’s okay for a certain period of time. But if you don’t rest, and if you don’t replenish your soul, we really speak of those retreats is a sweet escape, and then replenishing our souls and getting some habits that allow us to stop, to pause, to feel instead of only think. And often we have these jobs that we love, and we attach ourselves. But they are demanding, and they’re demanding a lot of space in our heads, and not so much in our bodies. And small movements and taking rest is really crucial, I find in my own life.

Candice Wu 19:19

Same with me. Yeah. And my thought about all of this is that’s part of how you support people or encourage people to find the answers within themselves. You know, when you tell your students like the answers within. How else do you guide people to find the answers within?

Kremena Yordanova 19:42

We use sometimes just breath work. Often, we underestimate the power of just knowing that you can observe your own breath and patterns by simply hearing your own breathing. Often, when students come to my class, the first five minutes are everything, in a sense of maybe it’s the first time in today that you can truly feel your own inhales and exhales. And there is this moment where we always find what is it that really is the intention of the practice. I know many studios and teachers say it. But you need to also allow space for people to find it in their own words, we often will find tools like journaling after class where things come really out. And those are only tools that we can ask students to use if they want to.

Kremena Yordanova 20:50

But sometimes it’s just a sentence within a class that will resonate with someone. And I’m very appreciative when a student will come and say, this glass really clicked with me. And even if it’s one person within the 30 that attended, I feel like my job is done in a sense that I’ve channeled something that someone wanted to hear or was ready to hear because often yoga teachers, we see the same things. But then when the student is ready to hear it, for them is the “aha” moment.

Kremena Yordanova 21:32

And it’s beautiful, when you can see that it’s been something you were a little part of facilitating. And I like how my students often become good friends of mine. Because these conversations and anything else happens after yoga. We often say the coffee after yoga is the best part of it, because we get the chance to discuss things deeper, we get the chance to just really bounce ideas and stay in this community vibe that allows us to see what is really going on.

Candice Wu 22:16

Yeah, and everything’s open in your body and flowing. Sounds lovely.

Kremena Yordanova 22:23

It’s a beautiful practice when not forcing it on yourself, when you are truly there. I often find myself saying the same things in class, like, do it like you mean it like be there, even if it’s the most uncomfortable posture without hurting yourself, but feel the unpleasant sensations. In even in those at like you chose the posture because it’s always a choice to even not do the posture or avoid do it, or see how it resonates with you within all the unpleasantness and then there is always an openness after.

Candice Wu 23:09

Yeah, it’s such a powerful shift, and it’s subtle. Because I can think back to times, and sometimes even now, where I’m doing something, if whether it’s a pose or something else in my life, and I can feel like a victim to it. Like, I have to do this. But just to think or just to shift into the reality of, this is my choice. And feeling into that. And then also feeling the moment where I felt like a victim of it and acknowledging it. Where I didn’t feel the empowerment is a really interesting moment to. So, that’s a lovely reminder.

Kremena Yordanova 23:52

And it’s very funny how, if you haven’t learned the lesson, we always speak about those lessons, but happens again and again and again, until you kind of get the lesson. But sometimes it really feels like one universe I’ve dealt with this, or at least I thought I was and yeah, here we come again, not even seven months in the role, and again, the same pattern and you like, I’m appreciative of this. But then again, I thought I’ve learned.

Candice Wu 24:27

I know.

Kremena Yordanova 24:28

We haven’t. We just haven’t.

Candice Wu 24:30

I do know that. Yeah, what can you give us an example of at least maybe a recent experience you had of this where you felt like, “Oh, I thought I learned this lesson.” Like what something you’ve been receiving again.

Kremena Yordanova 24:48

For me, it’s always been something that undermines the value of what I’m putting out there. It’s been a reoccurring theme of mine for the past few years. And with different sorts of situations or expectations from others, I’ll find myself that I play small, for no reason, really, then just being in my comfort zone. While I constantly do things that seemingly stretch my limits and all those things. But deep down when you ask yourself, do you really get out of your comfort zone? Is? The question really hits you.

Kremena Yordanova 25:38

I’ve been wanting, for instance, to write this book. And it’s been there with only five chapters for the past five years, really. And every time I start speaking about it, there is always something that is like, should I really write it? Should I really post out there? And is this playing small? It’s this fear of, is it good enough? Is it not? So, it’s like, holding your back, and that’s one example.

Kremena Yordanova 26:13

But as I mentioned before, if you notice the pattern in other aspects of your life, undervaluing either the value you have or what you have to say, or either being meeting or in a private conversation with friends. Because often, we surround ourselves with the people that will allow us to grow. But we also choose it wisely, when we are afraid to do the next step, that we surround ourselves with the people that will keep it, keep us in the comfort zone.

Kremena Yordanova 26:56

So, this is something I’m dealing with now that I’m painfully aware of what are the next steps for some of the topics that bother me. And then again, there is this resistance or isn’t it nicer to play small because it’s comfortable. Yeah, but yeah, literally, this has been on my mind a lot.

Candice Wu 27:24

Yeah, I can relate to that a lot. And in many ways, I think though, sometimes for me, it’s important to let myself kind of retract and come to that comfort. And it’s funny because it almost comes from the same place of that fear, that I need to come back to comfort. One way it shows up for me is to, when I undervalue what I have to say, in the simplest way. I can try to make it sound so much bigger, like I can try to overachieve, even in what I’m saying, simply. So, like, the feeling that it has to be, I don’t know, bigger, or more important, more interesting than just simply saying what I wanted to say, or what is actually there. And so I just like, extra effort causes me to feel a little bit strange sometimes and to also be gentle when that contraction happens of, okay, just rest a bit here in the comfort

Kremena Yordanova 28:29

Absolutely, absolutely.

Candice Wu 28:31

Yeah, but writing a book as well, it’s interesting to hear that from you, too. I’ve been also feeling the same way about a couple of books that I’ve had ideas for, and also written some pieces for, they’ve just been sitting there for a long time. And I’m aware of them, I’m very aware of them. And they’re coming more alive now. And people are sending me their books, their personal written books, and it’s like, okay, I got the message.

Kremena Yordanova 29:05

But isn’t it also, for me the concept around committing to something, but giving it also space to come whenever you’re ready with it, it’s a big deal. I tend to not operate under the pressure of trying to prove something to other people, which is sometimes what I feel like I’ve committed to writing a book, five years ago, I was very determined, have the, like, I have the structure, I have all the things but then again, I convinced myself during the whole process that I have nothing new for importance to say. And it happened gradually that you start believing that actually this idea is not that great, and the other idea neither.

Kremena Yordanova 30:00

But you surround yourself with the people that will be either super pushy, to see you grow and to see you, “Please make the book, please make the book I would really enjoy reading it”, for instance, or you doing the absolute opposite, that you will be only surrounded with people that will be who you an author, really. And then back to the choice of who do you listen to. And right now I’m battling my gut feeling tells me this book is more than ready, just go ahead and finish it off. And‘’’

Candice Wu 30:41

Yeah.

Kremena Yordanova 30:42

…that feeling of, it’s almost there, it’s whole baked. Come on. It’s like, you just need to press publish. But then again, the little voice that tells you, “Oh no one will read it. It’s not that important. It’s not even written that good or, yeah, the self-sabotaging towards that we…

Candice Wu 31:04

Yeah. Well, the book-

Kremena Yordanova 31:06

We are winning for now.

Candice Wu 31:08

Right? Well, the process of this book, the process of publishing, is the lesson of self-love, to value yourself and find importance in your own story and words.

Kremena Yordanova 31:25

Beautifully said.

Candice Wu 31:27

Same. I mean, only because I know it myself.

Kremena Yordanova 31:31

Yeah, but we, this is yet a good thing about it. When people are going through similar emotions or actions, really, it does take courage and vulnerability to be, this is what I’m thinking, this is how I became quiet right now. With all the bad, the good, the ugly stuff that is happening. There is the fear of when people read what I have to say they might not like my classes, or they might not fully comprehend. What is it that I’m going through. But those stories, my gut feeling is that even if you write them just for your own healing process, and you put it out there, will be very, very revealing. And yet, that’s the scary part where you’re, “Do I still feel this way about this situation?” Because with each and every six months, my concept around it, the stories I’m telling about it, this totally changed. So, it’s never ending? And yeah…

Candice Wu 32:51

Yeah.

Kremena Yordanova 32:52

The thing to see.

Candice Wu 32:53

It has dawned on me that that could be a way to stop oneself from writing something, it’s like that continual editing. And this is like, this isn’t what I think now or feel now. But it was then and it was truthful to that it has something to offer. And now it’s going to-

Kremena Yordanova 33:12

It’s the same with podcasting, right? It’s like, sometimes you’ll be like, “Oh my god, I can’t believe I was thinking that or…

Candice Wu 33:20

Absolutely!

Kremena Yordanova 33:21

…how amazing that those feelings were what was really bothering me.”

Candice Wu 33:26

Yeah. And in my views on it, you know, just how I processed it or what I thought about it, or what I shared about it. And then six months later, I’m like, wow, I’m a different person already. So, it’s like a disclaimer for all the podcasts I’ve ever made. Yeah. Well, I’m really curious, Kremena, about your ancestry, and is it right, you grew up in Bulgaria? And then you have to the Netherlands? or How was your story?

Kremena Yordanova 33:58

Yeah, so, there was a little period of time where, from five to 10, we lived in Siberia, in Russia.

Candice Wu 34:07

Oh!

Kremena Yordanova 34:08

Yeah, from all places.

Candice Wu 34:11

Wow.

Kremena Yordanova 34:11

Sometimes, I like to consider myself as a sunny girl with a really positive vibe and growing up for five years in Siberia, it did put a mark on me in a sense of I was bullied when I was in school there, not in a very bad, bad way, nothing super dramatic. But you kind of noticed some patterns in you. When you go through adulthood. That, once being bullied, you have again the choice of “Do you bully other people? Or do you help them heal?” And I spend a lot of time, in the beginning, to be the bully in some occasions, not also extreme.

Kremena Yordanova 35:02

But noticing that growing up, it does shape you and it does make you who you are, with all the positive and negative lessons that you need to learn. We move back to Bulgaria when I was 10. And again, I had this feeling of not belonging and trying to re-integrate, not properly even speaking the language at the time, and stayed in Bulgaria to I was 22. And then before I moved to the Netherlands, there were few jobs abroad. And then I moved to the Netherlands and I’m here now for more than a decade. And only now I can say openly that it has people like home.

Kremena Yordanova 35:58

First, five years internet lens was hard for me. And it came from a place that I felt like I wasn’t welcome with every encounter I had here. The weather was not something that makes me drive. And it did affect me deeply when I didn’t know what’s wrong with me, that I’m feeling so depressed, really, that the lack of some can do that to you. So…

Candice Wu 36:32

Absolutely.

Kremena Yordanova 36:34

But it’s weird because I right now I know what to do with it the first few years here, I was going to every doctor you can think of asking for, maybe these maybes that, because you would just not feel right. And that’s when I found yoga, really, that…

Kremena Yordanova 36:55

Oh, wow.

Kremena Yordanova 36:56

…brought me back to the sense of, you’re okay in your body, there is nothing wrong with you. And I would even joke about nothing better than an early winter depression in August here because there is never sun, or at least to be the case, or I’ve seen it like that. And yeah, but now, I really feel grounded. And it took only a decade to think about it.

Candice Wu 37:32

I love that you said it, “It took only a decade.”

Kremena Yordanova 37:35

But there is also a very relative thing, it’s the space, and I took my sweet time. I really did. And maybe now that I’m saying home is Amsterdam, and I love it. And most of my friends that know me, they will be like, what you’ve always wanted to live away, like, what’s going on that yet, opinions and perceptions change when you choose how to see the situation. And now I happen to love Amsterdam and I happen to find my tribe and really be at ease without seeking escape, and always moving and looking for, like, the place you live determines you. You choose how you want to see it, but it took a long time to recognize that.

Candice Wu 38:33

Yeah, that’s really lovely. And I’m looking into the words, you said, “I took my sweet time.”

Kremena Yordanova 38:41

It was quite a long process, I mean, from not having any friends or because it’s hard as an adult to make friends or at least it’s not as easy. And when you come and you’re not with your friends, yours or with your family here, it can feel a little bit tougher, and you develop different skills. And only now I can say that I do have friends. And most of the good people I meet Yes, they’re around the yoga and the field of self-care and the field of really — development.

Kremena Yordanova 39:27

But I also have friends that come to my life from different areas, either business or my sister moved in with me five years ago, and I got the chance to hang out with youngsters, and half of my friends here now or a decade younger than me and the stories they talk about and the things that interest them are very different from what I would consider interests me. But it’s fascinating to have people that you can call and you could call them your crew, and you get to hang out for Easter. It’s the Easter weekend, and it’s just amazing. It’s just amazing.

Candice Wu 40:17

It’s beautiful. I’m so glad you found that and created that within you, and found yoga to create that home inside.

Kremena Yordanova 40:25

And that sweet time…

Candice Wu 40:26

Yeah.

Kremena Yordanova 40:27

….was worth the wait.

Candice Wu 40:29

Yeah. For when you said I took my sweet time at, it’s such a sweet way to describe how you experienced the length of time and I hear sometimes in myself and other people like, it’s taking too long, it’s taking too long. Is that how you reframed it, or is that how you feel about it, through it?

Kremena Yordanova 40:55

I used to be very much into the now-now-now and everything needs to happen fast. But I really learned that if you would like to have something that is worth staying, or that good things happen slowly. At least in my case, even with the yoga practice, you would know the 15th time you’re doing a chaturanga is not the same as the 1500th time. And that patience that we cultivate on the mat, if translates outside, it’s so rewarding, because some people might think within two years, I need to achieve these, that.

Kremena Yordanova 41:44

And I actually know it will come when it comes when I’m ready. And the only way you know you’re ready is when things come. And there is not the pressure of, achieve achieve achieve. And I think this happens a lot within Western society. I noticed a lot of my friends from even the United States or just here in Europe, there is this mentality of there is always a competition for something and back home in Bulgaria really is not the case. Or at least I haven’t noticed that life is not really a competition. And we all have different paths. And we always say like, if it takes me five years, it’s just that’s what it takes. If it takes me 10 years, it’s also that’s what it takes, and you only lost them or drive when you’re ready.

Kremena Yordanova 42:51

And yeah, I’ve never been a big fan of forcing things to become faster. Mainly because there is this knowledge of it will come when it has to come was the same reference to the book. If you know that you’re not sabotaging it, or stopping it for any other reason, it will be there eventually. So, I, on the path of competition or trying harder, or even call myself a more easygoing, more lazy style of even practicing. I don’t believe in hurting your body for proving yourself you can do a headstand, for instance, eventually to happen or not. But what is it that you learn throughout the process of going upside down? But yeah, it’s fascinating how time is just so, yeah.

Candice Wu 44:00

Beautiful.

Kremena Yordanova 44:01

It’s a weird concept that we only get the chance to attach what it means is like, know that everyone wants everything to be immediately done or fast, fast, fast. I like taking time to for certain things, to do them real slow, so that you really enjoy the process instead of going fast. And what’s the next big deal? What’s the next big project?

Candice Wu 44:34

Yeah, I’m really, really feeling that energy from you. And it’s really lovely. Thank you.

Kremena Yordanova 44:43

In the past, it might have been that it wasn’t coming across. But I believe from really, this is only from the yoga practice. I don’t see any other coalition because you know, you need to be practicing for quite some time to a posture comes together. Why it will be different in anything else you do. So, it’s so obvious sometimes that we forget. But practice makes perfect in a sense of: you’ve been there. You’ve done it. You can do it on top of it. And then it’s the next one.

Candice Wu 45:28

Hhm, yeah, absolutely. And I liked how you share it about that. It sounds like that some of this feeling into life this way is the way of Bulgarians or something you learned growing up?

Kremena Yordanova 45:44

Yeah.

Candice Wu 45:45

Is that right? Yeah, I’d love to hear a little bit more about what it felt like, growing up as Bulgarian and living in these different places, too, what that brings into your life, and what I find about myself is that when I’m traveling, I see myself more clearly in terms of my ancestry. When I’m in a different location, I can see my Chinese sides of me, or at least what I attached to being Chinese in some ways, and then the American side of me. So, just wondered how your experience was with that?

Kremena Yordanova 46:26

Yeah. Most of the times when people just see me, they can’t really place me, they would always play this game of where you from? They’re asking, I’ll be like, guess and it’s 30 minutes conversation going no-where, because when they see me they can’t patch. Yeah, it’s I love playing this game with Uber drivers, for instance, because it’s, according to me, my name is so obvious that I’m Bulgarian, that I should live no doubt, that it’s Eastern Europe.

Kremena Yordanova 47:03

But no, no, it’s, it’s just a small game. But seeing me and people not being able to place me or attach my origin immediately, is something that gives you space to really be who you want to be. And the deeply rooted Bulgarian rituals that we all do, or like for instance, the only reason people will know I’m Bulgarian is if they see my martariza, which was something we put as a symbol for health and wealth. And it’s red and white. In the beginning of March, we put it and either you know a Bulgarian that wishes you well and gives you that or your yourself are Bulgarian, so, when people meet me and see it, then they immediately make the connection.

Kremena Yordanova 48:08

But without that kind of it strips away and can’t please me. But my Bulgarian roots are it’s funny that we’re talking about it, because some of my friends mentioned that I forgot to speak my own language. So, they’re making a lot of jokes about the fact that I chose to communicate with them in English, because I’m becoming lazier, and challenged accepted. I’m trying to speak my own language. It’s not nice. It’s very confronting.

Kremena Yordanova 48:48

When I speak about finding home here, this doesn’t mean you forget your roots. But inevitably, you feel like you’re detached from what you knew before and how you even spoke. And right now, we have consciously chosen to have Bulgarian books around me and a lot of my friends are Bulgarians, and they will tease my accent, and they will make those funny jokes. But deep down, I always go back home for practice, and we hold retreats in Bulgaria yearly, and the upcoming one is even called Root to Rise. And for us the idea of finding your ground and finding really what is it that nourishes your soul, this, what will make you rise and what will make you really reach the heights you would like to achieve.

Kremena Yordanova 49:54

So, going back home is always a bit emotional. And it’s always best retreats happen there because the herb, the smells, the mountains we have, it’s just really powerful to for me as a teacher, to reconnect, so that I can give more of that deeper knowledge that maybe comes from the ancestors, maybe comes from the fact that it’s a very ancient nation we have in Bulgaria with lots of rituals that are dating, before Christianity and before anything else that was there, really. So, going back home is always emotional, in a sense that it’s just very, very enlightening to be back home, to go back to where it all started, at least for this specific life, if you believe in incarnation.

Kremena Yordanova 51:01

But yeah, traveling around, being proud of where you come from, and people not knowing much about my country also helps to give them the impression of a whole nation, really. We sometimes hold a lot of responsibility with that, because maybe bigger countries people know what to expect, or already have attached some judgments. When they meet Bulgarians, often we are not such a big country, we’re only 8 million. And I feel always like, I have the responsibility to explain a bit more. It’s a nice task to have. But it also comes with all the disappointment of: you’ve never heard where we are. It’s, again, that pattern of playing small.

Kremena Yordanova 51:59

I know my friends that come from countries that used to be empires, and it’s a different mentality, we speak in a joking way. But it’s always this idea of people coming from Empire, and people’s being submitted is a different mentality. And we had over 500 years of under the Ottoman Empire, and that marked generations to come. And we do carry it with us in a way we speak. Some expressions are profoundly grounded with pain and suffering, and it’s a bit of enough with the victimhood. But then again, it’s something that happened, we can’t erase 500 years of a history we have, and usually the Balkans, the whole Balkan area is a space where more history is created, that we can actually even comprehend what’s going on. But it’s always powerful to go back.

Candice Wu 53:14

Wow.

Kremena Yordanova 53:14

So it’s powerful. Yeah.

Candice Wu 53:16

Yeah.

Kremena Yordanova 53:17

I’m glad you asked me this question because often people say, “So, what can I expect when they come with you to Bulgaria?” And I really need to tell them that nature is amazing, people were welcoming. And there’s this deep wisdom that comes from, I wouldn’t like to call it only suffering. But when you have that history, you also create tools and singing is one or dancing. We have powerful ways to be together, and that is something that it’s not in all countries I visit, or the countries I’ve visited that have that are really much richer culturally than in comparison to the Netherlands, for instance.

Candice Wu 54:16

Yeah, I think you’re bringing up something so important and beautiful about the pain and suffering that a culture or a person can experience because it brings not only resilience, but all these different tools and ways supporting each other and oneself that also build the wholeness of the experience. Not just a flat experience of everything is kind of fine. But the whole spectrum of life with all of it. So, it’s really cool that you bring your retreats there. And there’s an evolution for you, too, in growth and in movement.

Kremena Yordanova 55:00

Each time we go back, we are so different. And each time we explore different aspects of who we really are, this time, we’re going to the mountains, and we’re going to be hiking, there will be a beautiful meditation session at the Rila Lakes, and lately has been known as a really good place for energy healing, and a lot of foreigners are going there. And I haven’t been yet. And this is like I’ve traveled the whole world or have been to some places, but yet, there is one thing I haven’t done yet in my own country, which is coming true, now this summer. But again, taking your sweet time.

Candice Wu 55:54

Yeah, take your sweet time to explore yourself and your own roots, which is where…

Kremena Yordanova 55:59

Going there when I feel ready for it.

Candice Wu 56:03

Yeah.

Kremena Yordanova 56:04

I think –

Candice Wu 56:04

You’re showing that in your life in the way that you’ve led your life and how you’re sharing that with other people now, in your retreats, that’s beautiful when is your retreat coming out?

Kremena Yordanova 56:16

The retreat is taking place 21st of June till 24th. So, it’s a little bit longer weekend. And it’s going to involve a lot of fun and picking up herbs and making our own sashes. And I find that ritual being really important to me. Because…

Candice Wu 56:41

Beautiful.

Kremena Yordanova 56:42

…those herbs you can find only in the mountains that we’re going for the hike. And the meditation itself is going to be held high up after we’ve done all the practice. And no retreat will be without our signature wine-tasting, we always say that, we created yoga food and wine with the sole purpose of making yoga and traveling, and exploring accessible in a sense that we’re not judgmental, if you would like to drink one glass of wine, we will allow you to do so, if you would prefer to have great produce instead, that’s also fine.

Kremena Yordanova 57:25

And yeah, that’s the next one on my calendar for this year. And hoping for the next year to go back to Cape Town and host 33 there that will be a little bit longer, with seven days retreat, where we’re going to explore deeper healing work with the Pranayama meditation, there will be hike as well, because apparently we like hiking, coming from the Netherlands where there is not even one mountain any chance we get, honestly.

Candice Wu 58:02

Like, you gotta get on that mountain.

Kremena Yordanova 58:05

It’s super friendly, because everyone is asking about the hiking part.

Candice Wu 58:09

Oh, interesting.

Kremena Yordanova 58:11

That’s January next year.

Candice Wu 58:13

Great, yeah.

Kremena Yordanova 58:15

It will be very pleased if any of the listeners would like to join us, and I’ll leave you a discount code of 10% for any of the upcoming retreats.

Candice Wu 58:29

Wonderful. That’s very exciting. How can people connect with you on that if they’re interested and receive that?

Kremena Yordanova 58:38

So, you can find me on Instagram. YorYoga. So, how you hear it YorYoga. Same with Facebook, and yeah, my email addresses are there. So, I posted a gallery explaining where the next retreats are. And if anyone is in Amsterdam, and would care to come and join a class of mine, you can just text me or find my schedule. I teach at Studio 191 and the Cosmos studio. And anyone that is in Amsterdam, and you would like to have some yoga with me, it’s more than welcome to join.

Candice Wu 59:26

That sounds great. Next time I’m there. I also would love to come –

Kremena Yordanova 59:30

Please do, please do join us.

Candice Wu 59:33

This has been lovely, Kremena, I really appreciate you and what you’re sharing and the deep richness of what you’re sharing. And all of the links that you mentioned, we’ll put that in the show notes. So, anyone who’s listening, just jump on to the website and find that information. And this full podcast is at CandiceWu.com/kremena. And is there anything else you want to share before we close today?

Kremena Yordanova 1:00:04

I really would like to just thank you and show deep gratitude for everything you guys do. I don’t take it lightly that I’ve been given the opportunity to share what I think today, how I feel today. And really, thank you for inviting me.

Candice Wu 1:00:24

Thank you so much. It’s been such an honor to have you and have just enjoyed every bit that you shared today. Thank you.

Kremena Yordanova 1:00:34

Thank you so much.

Candice Wu 1:00:37

It was so wonderful to have Kremena on the show today. At the end of the conversation, actually, throughout the conversation, I felt that feeling of taking my time, because she was taking her time and sharing and just being at her own pace, and her pace being one that feels very present in each moment of her speaking. And I really enjoyed it. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, and can take something from this episode into your life, whether it relates to combining your passions into many parts of your life, taking the attitude that you’ve chosen what you’re doing in your life, or going back to your own roots, full circle, and building into what’s the wisdom of your ancestry. What wants to be continued through the line into your life and into others lives.

Candice Wu 1:01:36

Thank you so much for joining us today and be sure to check out her experiential that comes out later this week. And is also connected with her episode at CandiceWu.com/kremena, which is spelled KREMENA. Well, when I’m in Amsterdam, I definitely want to check out her class, get a little restore and replenish as well as new awareness is. And I encourage you to do that, too. If you found anything interesting or inspiring for you. You can find all the information about her classes and workshops as well as her retreat at the show notes connected to this episode at CandiceWu.com/kremena.

Candice Wu 1:02:19

Also, if you’d like to stay in touch with me and to hear bi-monthly updates, as well as keep up to date on retreats, workshops, and podcast topics and guests. You can sign up for my newsletter at CandiceWu.com/embody.

Candice Wu 1:02:36

Well, that’s all for today and I encourage you to feel into what is your pacing of life that really gets you in your flow and take your sweet time. See you next time on the Embody Podcast.