Permission to Be You & Addiction’s Gift with Jill Massura — EP43

Candice Wu 0:00

This episode is a fun and lively conversation with Jill Massura about moments we don’t feel like being responsible or in our power, the gifts and challenges of showing up as human and vulnerable, how addiction ended up being the greatest gift of Jill’s life and seeing our life through wisdom lenses.

Candice Wu 0:21

Hello and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing and self-love.

Candice Wu 0:35

My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 0:51

All of the podcasts, including this one, are made possible by my work with clients one on one, as well as couples and relationships. I am just shouting out to all of my clients out there who listen in and support this work by giving me ideas, by being present, and engaging with the content, and by giving me feedback.

Candice Wu 0:53

I love working with my clients. I love to support them in feeling like themselves, in feeling that they are the source of their own healing, that they can navigate their emotions with ease and truly know themselves so that they can live the life that they want, and honor and love themselves at a very deep level.

Candice Wu 1:02

My clients and I work with any personal trauma, any overwhelming experiences that happened in the past, in their soul, or in the intergenerational experience, that seem to affect them today, so that they can truly feel free and at peace in their life now.

Candice Wu 1:34

If you’d like to see if one-on-one work is for you, if you want deeper support, more awareness in your life, or to feel more and not less, reach out to me for a free consultation, CandiceWu.com/connect. So let’s jump into this episode.

Candice Wu 2:10

Our guest today in the Embody Podcast is Jill Massura. She is a personal empowerment coach, and she supports her clients in living their best lives with excitement, free of negative thoughts and behaviors. And she believes that your relationship with yourself sets the stage for all the other relationships in your life. And that anything you want in your life is possible.

Candice Wu 2:33

About eight years ago, she began her career in helping people as a massage therapist. And through that work, she was able to help her clients release physical pain and began to study the body-mind connection.

Candice Wu 2:46

So over the course of time, her practice has evolved to include tapping or EFT as some know it, and self-love and empowerment coaching.

Candice Wu 2:56

The first time I met Jill, I felt an instant ease in talking with her. And that’s because she shows up just as so human. And here in this episode, we talk very vulnerably about what’s going on in our personal lives and what we’re struggling with. So, I hope you enjoy this kind of raw experience of our conversation. So without further ado, here is Jill.

Candice Wu 3:22

Well, I have the pleasure of having Jill Massura here, again, for the, what do you call it? A double take?Part two?

Jill Massura 3:30

I don’t know. Hi Candice!

Candice Wu 3:33

Hi! So good to have you.

Jill Massura 3:36

Nice to be here with you today.

Candice Wu 3:39

Well, this is what we’re talking about. This was last time –

Jill Massura 3:42

What about that? Are we going to take that out? –

Candice Wu 3:45

That’s terrible! Let’s see what happens in the recording. But they haven’t been doing this whole morning.

Jill Massura 3:50

We might be going in the closet room.

Candice Wu 3:52

We might have to go in the closet.

Jill Massura 3:56

I’m really dying to go in the closet. You know?

Candice Wu 3:58

Wait. This is more like it.

Jill Massura 4:01

Our own experiences and ability to be vulnerable about the truth of those experiences is really what moves the world. It’s really what people lean into so much more than a fancy office or the perfect Instagram page, or, you know, just hanging a shingle out and calling yourself a coach.

Jill Massura 4:24

If you lack the vulnerability, if you lack the empathy, if you’re about yourself, or thinking that you have some wisdom that needs to be packaged and imparted, it trips the space up a little bit in connection with people.

Jill Massura 4:49

It’s a head game every day, I think for people who put themselves out there publicly and have declared, you know, a line of work for themselves, is that there needs to be some standard of perfection attached to it in order for it to connect to people. But whatever it is, is going to connect to whoever holds that dynamic and so if I think I need to be perfect, then I’m going to connect with the crowd who thinks that they need to be perfect. And that’s not my message at all.

Candice Wu 5:24

And here’s a little more –

Jill Massura 5:26

A little girl trying on our mom’s clothes and shoes, and makeup and they don’t fit. But she’s pretending, you know, she’s idealizing and saying, “I want to be like you”, but it never fits.

Jill Massura 5:41

And it looks put on, and that’s what happens when cute as it is, right? That’s what happens when we put on other people’s lives. We become like other people. So you know, it never ever fits. And we’re here to have our own closet full of clothes. You know that work for us and not just because they’re trendy, right?

Jill Massura 6:05

I’m metaphorically speaking, but you know, not just because some style expert said that this is what we need to be wearing. We need to be able to literally have a metaphorical closet full of clothes that feel like they fit us. Right? And a life that fits us.

Candice Wu 6:25

And then, we found out that only half the recording was there.

Jill Massura 6:31

That’s right. Yeah.

Candice Wu 6:32

And you were such a good sport. You’re like, “Well, just do it again.”

Jill Massura 6:34

Oh, yeah. Oh, what are we going to do right?

Candice Wu 6:37

I don’t know.

Jill Massura 6:38

Let’s just do it again.

Candice Wu 6:41

And isn’t that just the thing, like, one of the things I hate the most is actually redoing things. I don’t know what it is about redoing, but this one felt good. I was so excited –

Jill Massura 6:50

No. I feel exactly the same feeling that I had, coming and driving out here this morning. It was like, “Oh, we’re just going to get to do it again.” It was like “We get to.” You know —

Candice Wu 7:01

Yeah.

Jill Massura 7:01

Not like we have to.

Candice Wu 7:02

Yeah.

Jill Massura 7:04

So yeah, in fact, I felt that at the time, right? When we discovered that one of the tracks didn’t record and so you know, well here we are again, but it’s just an opportunity to reconnect, you know? Around different information, possibly, or whatever comes up. So –

Candice Wu 7:24

Yeah, I guess we wanted some time together.

Jill Massura 7:26

I think so.

Jill Massura 7:27

There you go. Yep. That’s what happened.

Candice Wu 7:30

So let’s share with all the people out here listening. I would love for you to share, Jill, what you do, who you are, and give them a sense of you.

Jill Massura 7:41

Sure. So, I am Jill Massura and I am many things. But I am a woman and a wife, and a mother, a friend. I am a life coach. And I —

Candice Wu 7:58

Really good one.

Jill Massura 7:59

Oh, thank you so much.

Jill Massura 8:03

And a human. I think just having human experiences that are rich and informing, and inviting. And so it’s good, you know? It’s a good life.

Candice Wu 8:21

Thank you. Yeah, it’s so refreshing to see and hear you speak. I got the opportunity to be at your workshop a couple of weeks ago.

Jill Massura 8:31

Yeah, the tapping.

Candice Wu 8:32

Yeah, the EFT tapping workshop, and just seeing your presence on social media, I love your Instagram posts, where you just are so real, you cut to the chase of things. And so that piece of being human, I can really feel that presence, your presence of being human, behind your words, –

Jill Massura 8:52

Thank you

Candice Wu 8:53

How you communicate –

Jill Massura 8:54

Thank you so much. I think for me, that’s how I have to sort out information, is sort of like coming through it to the bottom of it, or the bottom line of it, and how I’m affected by that. And so it’s sort of like, bottom lining experiences or something?

Candice Wu 9:16

Yeah.

Jill Massura 9:17

I don’t know if I’m saying that right.

Candice Wu 9:20

Like distilling it to the bottom line or –

Jill Massura 9:22

Yes.

Candice Wu 9:23

to the essence of something

Jill Massura 9:24

The essence, that’s a good way of putting it, how it has made sense for me, maybe,

Candice Wu 9:29

Yeah.

Jill Massura 9:30

Or a jumping off point, or some kind of conclusion of the moment, you know, that we’ve drawn from a life experience that —

Jill Massura 9:40

I always say to anybody who talks about my Instagram page, or any of the quotes, most of those are just things that I say to myself, honestly, they’re just things that have come up through a thought something that may have tripped me up during the day. And I sort of process it, and what comes out is what you see there. So, yeah –

Candice Wu 10:00

Yeah.

Jill Massura 10:01

Just encouraging people to go a little bit deeper, you know, with, like, the root of what? What our essence is? Instead of just what we’re reacting to, you know, on the surface, so –

Candice Wu 10:10

Right. Like, what the pattern is —

Jill Massura 10:12

Yeah.

Candice Wu 10:13

Yeah, how do you take your experience and distill it down?

Jill Massura 10:18

Right, just some kind of, you know, I hate to say lessen, because, you know —

Candice Wu 10:23

Yeah.

Jill Massura 10:24

That’s not really the point, it’s more of, like, exploration. Like, think about it this way, you know, maybe a shift in perspective or something, which we can all use. I have my handle it all in the air every day.

Candice Wu 10:36

I’ll take a shift in perspective any day.

Jill Massura 10:38

I definitely. I ended the year on that. I need it the most.

Jill Massura 10:45

Really, truly, it’s just things that I say to myself. So it’s kind of like this, check yourself, you know –

Candice Wu 10:50

Yeah.

Jill Massura 10:50

Some of these things are, you know, check yourself moments like, what is this really about? Yeah.

Candice Wu 10:56

Are there any moments that you are checking yourself on now, nowadays, or this last couple of days or week?

Jill Massura 11:05

Whew. That is an awesome question.

Jill Massura 11:10

Definitely, yes. For me, like the constant work is checking yourself on the things that you’re reacting to with other people, for example, something that’s just ongoing right now, is something that –

Jill Massura 11:27

I’m married for 23 years, and your relationships are such a reflection, right, of what’s going on inside of you.

Candice Wu 11:35

Absolutely.

Jill Massura 11:36

Just an awesome opportunity to really work. But sometimes we don’t feel like it. Now we just –

Candice Wu 11:43

Yeah, I can relate to that.

Jill Massura 11:47

Right? Sometimes we really want to make it about this other person. Like, it’s you, you know? Like, it is not, but my reaction is my responsibility at all times, right? So, I love knowing that. And I hate knowing that too, you know? Right? That’s –

Candice Wu 12:03

That calls you to responsibility, calls you to look at your self.

Jill Massura 12:08

It’s like, “I don’t want to be responsible for my reactions today, can I please make that about the other person?”

Jill Massura 12:14

And they may be, you know, forcing a mirror, right? Like, I didn’t want to go through that today. Or, but it’s or I wasn’t expecting that to happen today. I wasn’t expecting this reaction. And I’m really, like, thrown off track by it. And so that was, you know, that was happening, something happened yesterday, and I just really am struggling to let go of like, it’s not about that person. It’s my reaction to that person.

Jill Massura 12:40

I might not love what they’re doing, or how they interpreted something, or how they went about, you know, some way, behaving some way, I may not agree with it but my reaction to it is my responsibility to take care of. So that’s certainly pretty high on the list of things that are challenging me to something higher today, for sure. All our personal relationships do.

Candice Wu 13:10

Yeah, right. Absolutely.

Jill Massura 13:12

Yeah.

Jill Massura 13:14

So I’m blessed, right? I’m blessed for the opportunity, I have to, you know, I’m shifting back between that, and I’m upset by what’s happening. And I’m grateful for the opportunity. I’m upset by what’s happening. I’m processing that. But I’m also really grateful and blessed to have a relationship that creates an opportunity for me to learn something more about me.

Candice Wu 13:38

I think that going back and forth of looking at yourself, feeling the upsetness, feeling the reaction like, yeah, it’s all there. And sounds like you’re embracing all of that. And you have this relationship that’s safe to do so.

Jill Massura 13:55

Yes, safe inside I think, you know, that’s the relationship that matters the most is the relationship that we have with ourselves.

Jill Massura 14:03

Are we a safe place to come when we’re confused? Because that back and forth, you know, your, what you can’t see Candice doing is she’s like moving her hands or the back and forth. We feel that in our body, and it’s really uncomfortable when you’re in that space, you know, of sorting things out.

Jill Massura 14:21

For me, I really feel that deeply in my actual body. And it’s uncomfortable, and it’s unsettling. And I just want to be like, in a better feeling about it. But what makes, you know, what causes me to be in that better place? It’s the actual process of the sorting.

Candice Wu 14:37

Yes

Jill Massura 14:37

So, I have to go through it. Like, there’s no way around it. I can’t jump over it and hope to learn the lesson. I can. We can all jump over it and try to numb out or try to just be distracted some way. But we’re going to learn from it. You know, we’re just kind of avoiding the truth of something, you know, and it could be a great truth, it could turn out to be something that’s really valuable, even though it’s in our nature to kind of skirt around. It’s not really always in our best interest to do that.

Candice Wu 15:05

Yeah, that avoiding is just not digesting.

Jill Massura 15:08

Right.

Candice Wu 15:08

And the experience, you can’t eliminate the stuff that is “Go”, you can’t take in the good parts of it. The insights –

Jill Massura 15:17

That’s incredible that you say, I’m sorry to just cut you off. But I’m like, I’m literally feeling this circumstance. Like, in my gut right now. Just below my diaphragm, it’s just sitting there. And when you say digesting, I’m going, it hasn’t moved down. You know, it’s just like, right there. Don’t forget about me! Right?

Candice Wu 15:43

Yeah, well, the stomach, the holder of information.

Jill Massura 15:46

Definitely.

Candice Wu 15:47

Right there calling you.

Jill Massura 15:49

So prevalent in me. Is it for you too?

Candice Wu 15:52

For me, well, I was telling you, before we got on air, I was really nervous about this recording of this podcast, because of the first time when we failed, I felt like “Oh, if only I did something different.”

Candice Wu 16:06

But what we had done was a new way of recording this. So this time, I was just really anxious about getting it right this time. So we actually have what we talked about.

Jill Massura 16:17

Yes.

Candice Wu 16:18

And to be able to honor that and share it. So there’s that. And the thing that I’m checking myself on is that I’m about to leave for Utah in Arizona for the retreat that I’m having as well –

Jill Massura 16:32

So good.

Candice Wu 16:33

Yeah, I’m excited. And we have about 10 days beforehand, where my partner and I are traveling, and I’m letting myself have this complete rest at that time, but pushing myself beforehand and getting everything set up beforehand.

Candice Wu 16:49

And there are things that I took on to my plate that I felt like “Did I have done this before?”

Candice Wu 16:54

A big trip where I’m trying to, like getting work ahead. And so my checking myself is where I’m feeling fatigued and tiredness and thinking, “Where’s the root of that? Is it just a matter of I took on too much? Why do I take on too much?”

Candice Wu 17:13

And that just have you gotten all my stuff?

Candice Wu 17:16

Well, it’s a little bit. It’s just tapping back into the stuff that always has been, and has been worked through the feeling of not enough or that I have to do it a certain way. And there is this framework of what I think I should be doing, in terms of even when I’ve chosen the things in my life that I love.

Jill Massura 17:40

Yeah.

Candice Wu 17:40

Somehow, I still like, can wander into the framework of “Yes, it has to be this way, once a week, this podcast goes out –

Jill Massura 17:49

So good.

Candice Wu 17:49

Right?

Jill Massura 17:50

Yes.

Candice Wu 17:50

And so, I work with letting myself be fluid and changing my mind, letting it be different, different weeks, not doing something that I’ve set out to do, even if I wanted to do it, and just letting myself rest, integrate things and slow down a lot.

Jill Massura 18:13

That’s so important. Just that word integration, it made me feel calm, it makes me feel calm, right? Because if we just go from, you know, I actually visualize you just sort of sitting there, and then all this stuff’s like calibrating around you, you know, these little like thought bubbles, right? Are kind of merging into each other, and then just washing over you and becoming part of you.

Jill Massura 18:36

You know, when we hold ourselves to some rigid, you know, calendar or some kind of process, right, that we just, there’s a lot of information about that, you know, and our relationships with ourselves there —

Candice Wu 18:52

A lot. It can feel like it’s very subtle, though, to go to distilling it.

Jill Massura 18:59

Yeah.

Candice Wu 19:00

I asked myself, “What does tired mean?” –

Jill Massura 19:02

Oh

Candice Wu 19:03

“What does exhaustion mean?”

Candice Wu 19:04

People say that to me all the time that they’re very tired. I think it’s a great question to ask ourselves. Like, what does tired mean to us? And for me, it pulls me all the way back to times in my young life, that I felt like I was responsible for everything. And so it just has its remnants, its residue that shows up now and —

Jill Massura 19:27

Like an overwhelm?

Candice Wu 19:29

Well –

Jill Massura 19:30

Or is it different?

Candice Wu 19:31

It is, yeah, it is an overwhelm. There’s a feeling of being responsible for everyone’s feelings.

Candice Wu 19:36

When I’m younger, and something I’ve worked with a great deal and where I can fall into it again, is when I’m tired, or slowly, gradually, it’s kind of one in the same –

Jill Massura 19:49

Checking in and out of kind of thing?

Candice Wu 19:50

Yeah.

Jill Massura 19:50

Am I tired or am I this? Or am I this? Or am I tired? Right? You know, am I feeling overly responsible?

Candice Wu 19:55

Right? And where did it start? Or was it just all a part of the whole being?

Jill Massura 20:00

Yeah. And I get that about, you know, what, of course, with when you’re setting up an experience for people, you want them to have the best possible experience that they can have. And so there is a lot of responsibility tied to that, you know?

Jill Massura 20:15

From before we came on air here today, you were telling me about the menu, you know, the Ayurvedic chef come and cook for the individuals on this retreat, and being able to create a menu and I’m thinking how amazing, you know, is that, but there’s also this, oh, you know, I got to bring in everybody’s piece of that, and what’s going to be relatable or likable, you know, for all the people and that’s from the menu to the activities, to the exercise, the whole experience.

Jill Massura 20:49

And, you know, when you hold that kind of space, you have absolutely everything in you to do it. I witness you. I see you, I feel you. I mean, you’re an incredible force in this world.

Candice Wu 21:03

Thank you.

Jill Massura 21:03

But it can be tiring, right? –

Candice Wu 21:06

Yeah.

Jill Massura 21:06

To be holding so much information for so many different people at one time. And then, like, “Where am I in this?” You know, did you put yourself on the list of —

Candice Wu 21:24

is that my calendar?

Jill Massura 21:27

Love it. Formal name, Candice.

Candice Wu 21:33

Yeah, well, speaking –

Jill Massura 21:34

Sometimes we need it, you know?

Candice Wu 21:36

Yeah.

Jill Massura 21:36

It seems silly, right? If we are not in this practice of self-care, and self-awareness, but if you need to put yourself on your own calendar, really on it, you know, on your phone, do it.

Candice Wu 21:51

Yeah, right.

Jill Massura 21:52

Whatever works –

Candice Wu 21:53

Whatever gets you –

Jill Massura 21:54

I don’t care what it looks like, you know? I really don’t I mean at this point I have zero concerned about that. But it’s like if that, you know, we, if your pattern and habit is to put yourself last, well, at least you’re on the list, right?

Candice Wu 22:09

Yeah. Well –

Jill Massura 22:12

Just make sure you’re on there somewhere. Yeah.

Candice Wu 22:15

Right.

Jill Massura 22:16

Right. So, it’s going to be amazing. You’re amazing.

Candice Wu 22:20

Yeah, I look forward to it. Yeah, you know, speaking of food, last time on, you know, the original podcast that we did, we talked about your roots in the work that you do now in life coaching and addiction, and food and recovery. And I would love for you to share your story with our listeners of how you got to where you are today. And what transpired for you.

Jill Massura 22:52

Oh, yeah. I just got, like, a little, you know, kind of Russian side of me about that. Just the suggestion, I think of being vulnerable about that as many times as I’ve shared the story or any of us have shared the story of our, a piece of our life, or maybe a large portion of something that happened. It’s vulnerable.

Candice Wu 23:21

It is. Yeah.

Jill Massura 23:22

It never becomes like a rogue kind of thing that you just, for me, it hasn’t anyway.

Candice Wu 23:28

I think that’s the beauty of it. Because it means something, and it’s part of you, and it’s part of your story. And to put it out into the light is, if you are doing it in a vulnerable way, it’s going to, in a connected way, it’s going to feel vulnerable.

Jill Massura 23:44

Yeah, it definitely does. But it feels also, like urgent or something. I don’t know, if that makes sense. And hard to boil down. That’s what I think it may be. It is. It’s just hard to boil down, you know?

Jill Massura 24:00

Just say, I struggled with an eating disorder and an addiction to alcohol for a couple of decades, is a hard thing, you know, it’s like, “Wow, now it’s out there.”

Jill Massura 24:12

The timing around it and the persistence and confusion, I think, for something to have gone on that long is, it is what it was, you know.

Jill Massura 24:25

I developed an eating disorder when I was 16 years old. I think it had its roots long before then, and looking back and really uncovering like, how did this dynamic begin inside of me? And why did I choose, you know, that was just the choice I made around the dynamic that was already in me, was to pick food, a relationship with food, and then eventually a relationship with alcohol as kind of the equalizer like numbing, you know, because there was so much anxiety and shame and depression, right?

Jill Massura 25:00

And it just all swirled around and in my young self, and I didn’t really know, I have a lot of coping mechanisms, you know.

Jill Massura 25:08

At 16, like, what do we really know, and this was, like, the 80s, you know, long before a lot of personal development. Certainly, before it was really a career or, you know, on the forefront of how people work within the framework of who they are. And maybe some of their struggles and challenges.

Jill Massura 25:31

There weren’t a lot of places, there’s traditional Talk therapy, and there weren’t really a lot of places to go for self-exploration that wasn’t just like a behavioral kind of model, right? Just stop doing that. Don’t do that anymore. And nobody ever really took it to the level of why am I doing that in the first place.

Jill Massura 25:51

And that’s just like that Instagram feed. That’s where this, the whole, like, who I am today comes from. I want to get to the root of how this all started. And then what we do there with that is really the work that’s the work. That’s the, for me, that’s the IT of, all its, you know. They are, right there.

Jill Massura 26:15

That’s when we get into that like, “What was this? What created this? Was it shame? Was it vulnerability? Was it fear? Was it something that actually happened, you know, some kind of trauma, some kind of childhood experience that created this inner dynamic going on with, with, like, you and yourself?”

Jill Massura 26:34

You know? Once I identify it, that’s not enough, like, how do I heal it? How do I come into that space with myself about where something actually started inside of me and find love around it, find acceptance around it first, really, because, you know, doing step one in AA right, you know, in for Alcoholics Anonymous is admitting that you have a problem, right?

Jill Massura 27:00

There’s an acceptance around it, that’s how change starts, for any of us on the wheel of change. You know, if you’re looking at the process of it, the first step in change is awareness, right?

Jill Massura 27:13

So, identifying and becoming aware, and, you know, both disordered eating and alcoholism have such roots in denial, but you’re just constantly turning away and avoiding, turning away and avoiding and then numbing, right? Or numbing with food, numbing with alcohol, no doubt, there’s, you know? –

Jill Massura 27:33

Now, what I’ve come to discover is that there’s a tremendous amount of chemistry inside and like coming from the brain that is actually being helped, you know, temporarily by both of those things, right? You know, when we eat all the feel-good hormones flow into the body, and, you know, it feels right. That’s how food addiction starts. It’s actually, you know, we’re looking to really fix our chemistry with ourselves, right? And it’s like, I don’t ever judge what somebody’s choosing. It makes sense to me when I can understand what’s going on with them at a deeper level. Of course, you chose food, of course, you drink, of course, you know, right. Like,

Candice Wu 28:11

Yeah, It kept you alive. –

Jill Massura 28:12

It was a coping skill, you know, a coping mechanism, right? So that’s why it’s like, you’ll pry this out of my dead freaking cold hands –

Jill Massura 28:23

I don’t care if it looks like I’m harming myself, or killing myself with this. If you knew what it did for me, you know, you’d never think to take it away. So there’s that whole very confusing. –

Candice Wu 28:37

That’s a very powerful statement.

Jill Massura 28:39

Yeah.

Candice Wu 28:40

“If you knew what it did for me, you’d never take it away.”

Jill Massura 28:42

Right? You would never ask me to give it up. And so there’s like, I can’t trust you. Because you don’t get me around people who want to judge you, or people who even care so much.

Jill Massura 28:54

I mean, you know, my family cared that I had an eating disorder, they weren’t like, “Oh, well, you know, I get that she’s using it to cope.”

Jill Massura 29:03

But they didn’t really understand the dynamic that was underneath it. And that needing and all of it, they were involved in that. And the whole- when one person in the family is hurting, it’s the whole dynamic of the family, you know? Nobody’s living in a bubble, right? In any relationship.

Candice Wu 29:23

You know it’s really about exploring that type of thing.

Jill Massura 29:25

I joke, like, I was my first client, right? And I really was. All of the processes and systems of awareness and support in the kinds of things that I went toward, to help me find some kind of sense about, like, “How the hell did I get here?” You know, once is not enough to just say, “I’m not going to drink anymore.” “I’m not gonna, you know, eat and throw up or starve myself.” Like, it’s not enough. I mean, that’s definitely the first step to separate yourself, like, from a behavior in a very deliberate way. But then what? Then all the feelings, all the sensations, all the thoughts, all the beliefs come, like, rushing back up, and then you’re just in that fight without your coping skills. I get why people go back and forth.

Candice Wu 30:21

Absolutely. Yeah.

Jill Massura 30:21

Right? I really want to quit, but I don’t have any other way. So I need to- I needed really to develop with those two things in play in my life. I needed to develop a very strong understanding of what it was that had brought me into that relationship with myself. And then how to support myself moving forward in a way that felt good, didn’t feel forced, that felt accepting and loving and forgiving. And that’s how I work with, you know, my clients today is really- it doesn’t- Everything, kind of, has the same sort of dynamic for healing. Isn’t it?

Candice Wu 30:21

Yeah.

Jill Massura 30:36

It really does.

Candice Wu 30:55

Yeah. And here in your story, what I hear in- as I filter into my experience, and what I’m hearing you say is that you looked for the wisdom of what drinking and eating brought you.

Jill Massura 31:21

Yeah.

Candice Wu 31:22

In a way, in a very deep way, honored that.

Jill Massura 31:25

Yes.

Candice Wu 31:26

And the only way you can move past is to honor that what it did for you and what it helped you with, and how it did save you in ways.

Jill Massura 31:36

Yeah, I saved my life. Right?

Candice Wu 31:39

Yeah.

Jill Massura 31:39

You know, I mean, people who say I have a problem and I’m willing to bring that out into the light and look for some kind of support or help to move through that, those are- these are my heroes. I mean, these- you know, anybody who says I have a problem in my life and I want to get help for it or help myself around it, is a hero to me, you know?

Jill Massura 32:04

So we can look at behaviors, we can look at things that pattern in our own lives and we can vilify ourselves for them or we can just kind of rescue ourselves from them, right? You’re so powerful, we’re all just so powerful to make whatever choice we want to make in our life about how we want to move forward.

Jill Massura 32:24

So, you know, for me, vilifying any part of myself just- I spent way too long in that kind of relationship with myself. Where I wanted something but I didn’t really want to change. And, you know, I was judged and the judging and the shame.

Jill Massura 32:25

And, you know, around that I had spent so much time. I didn’t even think it was possible to have any other relationship with myself, you know. But I was- thank God for really- this powerful little voice inside of me that kept coming, you know, trying to swim up to the surface and helped me break free that- there is something in here that you can trust. Just keep looking for it. And stop, you know, first, stop doing what you’re doing. But look for the wisdom.

Candice Wu 32:51

Thank goodness for that. That part of you that got preserved?

Jill Massura 33:20

Yeah. Thank God.

Candice Wu 33:25

How do you feel telling the story?

Jill Massura 33:27

Good. I feel good. You know, this is- it’s easier and easier for me to be transparent about my experiences. I think when I realized what it- there is the vulnerability in the beginning, like, you take a deep breath, and just –

Candice Wu 33:47

Yeah.

Jill Massura 33:47

start talking, right? But once we do, there’s so much relief. There’s just so much like, you know, not only, “Thank God, I’m not there anymore.” but, “Thank God, I did discover the wisdom.”, “Thank God, I learned something deeper. A different way to be with myself.” And I’m on the other side of that now, you know, and how do- how can I stay here? That’s also part of it. How can I stay?

Jill Massura 34:14

Because life, we don’t really know, we’re not really sure what’s going to happen, like, in the next hour and the next day. And if there might be something there that is triggering or kind of subtly calling us back to some old patterns that really didn’t serve us, so need to be- I’m not saying hypervigilance in any way but we need to really keep this.

Jill Massura 34:38

What, I mean as it turned out, I never thought I would say this ever, but you know, having an eating disorder and alcoholism turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. The best thing ever because it brought me forth in the healing. It brought me fully forth in the healing.

Jill Massura 34:59

And so, when I’m not feeling like I’m fully transparent, or like, I don’t want to be, there’s also information there to say, you know, “What is that that’s making you feel like you want to, kind of, dip back here?”

Jill Massura 35:12

Because that’s the danger zone for me and for any of us, right? Who has overcome something, it’s like, we don’t really, you know, not only do we not know what’s up ahead and if it’s going to be something that really tips the scale like to-

Candice Wu 35:26

Like, drawing –

Jill Massura 35:27

Yeah. Kind of, draw you back into old patterns of being that are so deeply ingrained in us.

Candice Wu 35:34

I see that as our spirit wanting us to solidify ourselves more and go back for whatever is there that’s still lingering or open, or the residue of the pattern or feeling that’s not yet digested. It’s calling us to look again but maybe look differently. Not do the same thing that did happen but to look at it, give it a different kind of attention or a different kind of tool.

Candice Wu 35:40

Now that you have so many now that most of us have more now than before, I think. Can’t say that for everybody, of course. But yeah, when we’re drawn back to a pattern, it’s something that we need to learn from, I think.

Jill Massura 36:22

Yeah, and heal. You’re right. It is. It’s this undigested or unreclaimed piece of us, you know, and so it’s just an opportunity to say, “Hold on a minute. If everything is how I choose to see it, how am I choosing to see this?” You know, what kind of relationship am I in with what’s going on right now. So, I just find, personally for me, to say, if I find myself in some kind of hard pattern, you know, judgmental pattern around my- something that I’m doing or thinking, or belief, or if I’m in some sort of resistance, you know?

Jill Massura 37:05

It has to be this way or I don’t want to move those two things are the way that I do it. But we all do resistance in different ways. Tired is a form of resistance. There’s more information. How can that, you know, if this doesn’t really feel good to be in that kind of resistance with what’s going on, then I can come in and say, “How can I come in here with some acceptance?”, “How can I come in here with some soft kind of like, putting a baby on your lap or like getting in a warm blanket?”

Jill Massura 37:38

Like, take this situation and be gentle with myself around it. Be kind with myself around it. That’s what allows us to let go of things. You know, the other pattern, the resistance, the judgments, that just really caused us to almost like, bear down, you know, double down on it, and you know, grip harder. So, I’m just- I feel like, for most of us, harder is the opposite of what we need. We need to be softer and letting go a lot more. Maybe that’s the whole lesson.

Candice Wu 38:17

I have been thinking about Mother Earth versus Mother Ocean. It’s not something that was very much in my awareness. We always talk about Mother Earth.

Jill Massura 38:31

Thinking about that Jimmy Buffett’s song.

Candice Wu 38:33

Oh, what’s that?

Jill Massura 38:34

I don’t know. It’s like (singing)- because I am sailing or something. “Mother Ocean…” or something. Okay, we’re gonna have to look it up for that one.

Candice Wu 38:45

Yeah. It’s interesting because I think there are times for both. Mother Nature is this, like, feminine, warm, gentle, holding everything, all loving, unconditional place.

Candice Wu 39:00

And I think Mother Ocean is more of this stern witness. Firm, the waves crash right into and you’re just steady with not much feeling towards anything that’s happening. And I don’t mean in a turned off way. But just like letting it rush right through you. And there it is. And so I play with the balance of both of those.

Jill Massura 39:30

And they are there to balance each other out. Try to think of the expression, it’d be like Native American proverb or something, that says- oh, let me get this right, “Earth tells water where to go. But water tells Earth how to look.”

Candice Wu 39:50

Can you say that again?

Jill Massura 39:51

“Earth tells water where to go. And water tells Earth how to look.” As your stomach is letting go. I love that. Yeah.

Candice Wu 40:00

My stomach-

Jill Massura 40:02

For me. That’s really an expression of something like a truth, that’s a tell in my body. Like, truuuuth.

Candice Wu 40:10

Yeah.

Jill Massura 40:10

For me, when my stomach does that, it really is, the single last thing –

Candice Wu 40:13

Something moves through –

Jill Massura 40:16

Candice is digesting on this podcast. Oh, yeah. It was information –

Candice Wu 40:21

I was only suggesting.

Jill Massura 40:21

But watering Earth, it’s interesting. I have studied Polarity Therapy. I spent three years studying it in depth in it’s based in Ayurveda and also on orthopedic manipulation of the body but it’s an energy-healing therapy and –

Candice Wu 40:41

Like more on Applied Kinesiology around, right?

Jill Massura 40:44

Yes, it is. And working with the positive, negative, and neutral energy in the body, and the different patterns that it has, but also working with the elements, you know, the five elements that are present in on all of us. And as you’re saying, this Mother Ocean, Mother Earth, I’m thinking those actually reside like, in an oval, those earth, and water elements reside together. And they’re the only two that do, so it’s really fascinating —

Candice Wu 41:18

Interesting. Right in the like, lower pelvic area

Jill Massura 41:23

And then fire has its own right? And yeah, and air has its own oval. So, I know we’re kind of drifting into stuff but it’s interesting, right?

Jill Massura 41:36

The expression of water and earth, stability and flow, in how we can be — because I get very, very flowy, —

Candice Wu 41:46

Right.

Jill Massura 41:47

You know, and then like, Oh, you know, I feel like I’m completely untethered. And I get stubborn, and I get no, very resistant. So that’s how I see Mother ocean and Mother Earth working and like within me, is that I go to extremes in both moments. Does that make sense?

Candice Wu 42:06

Yeah.

Jill Massura 42:07

You relate to that?

Candice Wu 42:10

Yes, I do. I think that’s why when I started to say it about Mother ocean, I started to hesitate. Because I was thinking well, there are definite times where I have that more witnessing aspect of me, the steadier part of me, that doesn’t really, I think, I’m struggling to find words for this experience of witness that is in a very neutral way, very neutral.

Candice Wu 42:39

And it doesn’t come with like, all sorts of love, it just watches it. And it helps. But I think that there are times where I go into one or the other a little too much or off balance, where the other is just needed a touch, at least. Or to find some sort of gray zone in between, sort of balance?

Candice Wu 43:02

But it’s fun to be able to use those tools or draw upon that sense of that.-

Jill Massura 43:07

Yeah.

Candice Wu 43:07

whenever it’s needed or ask myself what’s needed?

Jill Massura 43:10

Yes. Anything that lends itself to wisdom, around our experiences is worth it. You know, I mean, that’s what I seek. That’s, that’s what I enjoy as what I’m drawn to in this life. You know, it’s the wisdom, it’s the lessons, that’s the why, you know, as much as I love the information seeking, I really love coming through a process, either with myself or with another person into some form of wisdom that is helpful, right?

Jill Massura 43:43

Because there are all kinds of, you know, we can say, I get it, but how are we getting it? Or, we get it, you know, I get why that happened. It was all terrible. Or, I get why that happened. And I accept that it might not have been the way that I wanted it to go down. But it’s part of what brought me you know, here today.

Jill Massura 44:02

So, it’s better for me to move forward. If I can look at that. And with some kind of acceptance and love and forgiveness.

Candice Wu 44:13

Yeah, what level of yourself are you looking at it and saying, “I get it.”

Jill Massura 44:17

Right.

Candice Wu 44:17

What is the getting it? You know, I get it. I shouldn’t touch the stove versus I get it. The whole reason behind that was this belief in myself or this thought I had about the way the world works. Totally different story.

Jill Massura 44:33

Well, that’s what any of us at any time are really dealing with is what story are we choosing to tell ourselves? I prefer stories that make me feel better, stories with happy endings, right? That’s what I seek out. And that’s what actually informs and transforms my life on a daily basis is, how are we taking this all and moving it to something that, you know, has a happy ending?

Candice Wu 45:04

I struggle with that, because I want that, on one hand. And then that can go into this sort of evaluating kind of place. Right? Like, this is a good ending.

Candice Wu 45:20

Yeah, or —

Jill Massura 45:21

Right, you know, it’s all good ending.

Candice Wu 45:23

And something in between, right.

Jill Massura 45:25

That’s what I think. But –

Candice Wu 45:33

But then, there’s also- being life as it is than not needing to have good endings, and what that brings us or why something’s here, or just experiencing it with a neutrality.

Candice Wu 45:49

I find that gives me the feeling of wholeness, more so, than striving for the happy thing.

Jill Massura 45:56

Interesting.

Candice Wu 45:58

And yet, it’s not –

Jill Massura 46:00

I kind of hear you say, like, just accepting of the whatever thing, not good, not bad. Just, this is what’s happening now, or this is what I have is. Yeah.

Candice Wu 46:09

Yeah.

Jill Massura 46:13

There’s a lot of peace there.

Candice Wu 46:15

Yeah, there is –

Jill Massura 46:16

When you suggest the neutral, when you said, or just to be a neutral observer, and not going in one direction, or the other, with, like, any kind of judgment around it. That made me feel very peaceful, you know, that visual, I think of just being a neutral observer in our life, it’s hard. It’s definitely hard when the sensations kick up in the body, right? You know, and in, we don’t like how something feels to put it in a column, right? This is good, or this is bad, or I don’t know, you know –

Candice Wu 46:50

Yeah.

Jill Massura 46:51

Because of our physical sensations that surround it. But to be able to pause, take that pause and find some sort of neutrality before doing anything, or judging anything, or is amazing.

Candice Wu 47:06

Yeah, I mean, will we ever? — I mean, this is just silly question. Anyway, it’s silly and not so silly. But will we ever come to that place of neutrality? Or will we always see things through the lens of good and bad?

Jill Massura 47:18

Yeah, I don’t think we ever can, because –

Candice Wu 47:20

We tried to –

Jill Massura 47:22

Everything is in play all the time. I mean, we’re human beings, having a human experience here and within us are all… is the entire spectrum of experience. So it’s, you know, to find moments of neutrality, I think, is incredible and amazing. And that’s where spirit lives, right? In those, like, in the ether, in the in-between of things. And us, too, is that there are also these other forces that hold everything together, that hold the entire universe together. Or, is also what’s holding us together.

Jill Massura 48:01

So, you know, we vacillate like in a flow of the all.

Candice Wu 48:09

Yeah. I think it’s something I grapple with, you know, there’s the sensations inside that tell you something’s preferable or not, something is right or not for you.

Candice Wu 48:20

But I think when we take things into a broader idea to say things are right for the world, it’s hard for humans, I think, to be neutral about that, because we do have an idea of what’s right and wrong for the world.

Jill Massura 48:34

Definitely.

Candice Wu 48:34

And yet, the universe doesn’t really care about that as much.

Jill Massura 48:38

Definitely.

Candice Wu 48:39

Because all of it exists, as you said, and it’s good. We do affect the world. Yes.

Jill Massura 48:46

Yes.

Candice Wu 48:46

But what we resist also affects the world.

Jill Massura 48:50

Yeah! I love it!

Candice Wu 48:50

We’re just saying, let’s go for the happy good things, which I’m not saying. You’re saying?

Jill Massura 48:55

No, I do not take that personally.

Candice Wu 48:58

Commenting on my own.

Jill Massura 49:00

Yeah. I love this perspective.

Candice Wu 49:02

Then, there’s something that’s getting pushed out into somewhere else in this, —

Jill Massura 49:09

like making something wrong?

Candice Wu 49:12

Yeah. Or rejecting something? Or rejecting so much.

Jill Massura 49:15

Thanks for that.

Candice Wu 49:16

If, as you were saying, like the villain and the hero, –

Jill Massura 49:19

Yes.

Candice Wu 49:20

And then also, when you are saying that being a person in a family that had the symptoms of addiction wasn’t just you.

Jill Massura 49:32

No.

Candice Wu 49:32

You know, that was a whole family experience –

Jill Massura 49:35

Definitely was.

Candice Wu 49:35

That came you know, out, is it?

Jill Massura 49:38

Yes.

Candice Wu 49:39

Yeah. So, where was the resistance somewhere else?

Jill Massura 49:41

Yeah. Mine found its container.

Candice Wu 49:42

Yeah.

Jill Massura 49:47

And, you know, that’s all I’ll speak for.

Candice Wu 49:49

Yeah.

Jill Massura 49:51

But it was definitely part of a much larger dynamics.

Jill Massura 49:55

So, yeah, a lot of — nobody wants to go back through their whole childhood and look at everything, right, you know? Who would do that?

Jill Massura 50:05

If I were going to go and start, like, your first memory? And, you know, years doing this, right?

Candice Wu 50:11

I used to do that for fun. I mean, sometimes I still do.

Jill Massura 50:15

Yeah. I do too.

Candice Wu 50:16

I do it for fun with other people –

Jill Massura 50:19

It’s part of the process, because there’s so much wisdom here, you know, how did I, I didn’t just like wind up, 50 years old sitting here, you know, with my life experiences, they created themselves in the space of me.

Jill Massura 50:36

And so there is information, but I tell all, every client, like, if we’re going back, we’re, you know, in time, it’s to retrieve some sort of wisdom and to heal. So, you know, we’re never just going to go back and look at something and go, “Wow, that really sucked.”

Candice Wu 50:56

Just to say that.

Jill Massura 50:57

Right, you know, let’s go retrieve a pile of garbage. And then just like, not do anything with it, you know, I would never do that. –

Candice Wu 51:07

Let’s go get garbage you threw out three days ago.

Jill Massura 51:10

Yeah.

Jill Massura 51:10

And I’m just going to like, put it on your lap and ask you to like go have a great day. But that is sort of the image that we have.

Jill Massura 51:17

And the resistance that we have to look at painful experiences or unhealed experiences, or things that we live in judgment with ourselves around is that we’re just going to go back and retrieve a bunch of garbage and, then not have anything to, you know, help us get rid of that or help us move forward unencumbered by that.

Candice Wu 51:35

Well, it sounds like you found treasure there.

Jill Massura 51:37

Yeah.

Candice Wu 51:38

And probably garbage too, but —

Jill Massura 51:40

Yes. Right. Turning your garbage into treasure, you know, or what you think is garbage.

Jill Massura 51:46

I really mean it when I say that having alcoholism and struggling with disordered eating was the best thing that ever happened to me because of the gifts that have come forth through my healing around those two things. And other things too, you know?

Jill Massura 52:05

And that’s available to anybody. I’m just a, you know, little speck living in Rochester Hills, Michigan, like doing my life over here.

Jill Massura 52:14

I’m no different than anybody. I’m unique and special. But also, just average and the same, you know, as anybody. And that’s, it really is a process that’s available to anybody who wants to sift and in transition through something that they might not understand in their life.

Candice Wu 52:36

Yeah. If I knew while I was going through all the hard things in my life, that someday that would be the treasure or that would be the wisdom, would have been so much easier. But we don’t know that when we’re in it.

Jill Massura 52:50

Right.

Candice Wu 52:51

But to have that perspective about whatever in our lives has been, a huge struggle that perhaps there’s some gold there —

Jill Massura 53:00

Yeah, don’t you think it helps us like the next time a challenge comes up we go, “Okay, well, I survived that. I found wisdom in it.” I might not love what’s happening to me right now. But I do believe that that same said process will take place and that there’s going to be wisdom that’s coming from this hard time as well.

Candice Wu 53:23

Yeah.

Jill Massura 53:23

I don’t have to, get into a real, fearful place about it or some kind of place of resistance. Or like, “I can’t do it,” you know, like, “Oh, this is so terrible!” Because –

Candice Wu 53:37

Well, sometimes Jill, I’m like, “This is awful!”

Candice Wu 53:39

And inside, I’m laughing at myself and I know it.

Jill Massura 53:42

Yeah.

Candice Wu 53:43

And I just like to be like, “This is awful!”

Jill Massura 53:45

I know, we all do that.

Candice Wu 53:47

“Everything is so bad.” And then I laugh at myself.

Jill Massura 53:50

Love it.

Candice Wu 53:51

Which is for me, like a healthier place –

Jill Massura 53:53

It is. Then, it is.

Candice Wu 53:55

Not doing that. Not exposing that.

Jill Massura 53:57

Completely! Because we’re humans, right? You know, to be able to turn around and just, you know, laugh or go. Yeah, I mean, you’re, you know, I’ll let it go when I damn well feel like letting go. Okay, yeah, I know. I know I’m in resistance.

Candice Wu 54:14

I love it.

Jill Massura 54:15

I’m just not ready. So just leave me alone in my resistance cave over here. You know, right. Like, I love, I mean –

Candice Wu 54:24

Did you give yourself permission for that?

Jill Massura 54:25

I do. It’s permission. That’s really the healing, the work, you know?

Candice Wu 54:31

Yeah.

Jill Massura 54:34

I know. I’m completely like, off-center and acting totally ridiculous right now.

Candice Wu 54:40

Yep. And I’m doing it.

Jill Massura 54:42

And I’m just gonna stay here until I don’t feel like staying here anymore. Right?

Candice Wu 54:47

Yeah, I think it’s the freedom that, yeah, it is the freedom and the permission is that is the empowerment it, you know, we hear the words like being in our power, the power is the freedom –

Jill Massura 55:02

Yeah.

Candice Wu 55:02

of whatever place you want to be in.

Jill Massura 55:04

That’s right.

Candice Wu 55:05

It’s not being in your strongest, no tears, you know, fiercely going forward place, it’s going backward if you want to. It’s crying in the corner. If you want to.

Jill Massura 55:16

Yes!

Candice Wu 55:17

It’s hiding yourself in the closet for three days. I don’t know. –

Jill Massura 55:20

Right.

Candice Wu 55:21

And accepting all of it.

Jill Massura 55:22

It is. Do it. Don’t do it. Whatever you choose, just, you know, try to stay out of judgment or with yourself around it.

Candice Wu 55:30

Yeah.

Jill Massura 55:31

You know, this is what I’m choosing right now. I get it. And it doesn’t have to make sense to you. That’s the freedom, it really doesn’t have to make sense to other people. It just needs to be something that I’m aware of it and I’ll move through it on my own time.

Candice Wu 55:48

Yeah.

Jill Massura 55:49

A lot of freedom in that.

Candice Wu 55:50

And when you are in the judgment, when I’m in the judgment, just completely notice it. Like, –

Jill Massura 55:56

I think that in itself is a lot. That’s a lot. You know, if you can just get to that place. You’re like, “Oh, no, I’m aware. I’m aware of it.”

Candice Wu 56:08

Yeah.

Jill Massura 56:09

Being aware of it doesn’t mean and I change it the second I become, you know, aware like that. That’s for it, you know, can feel forced, but just to say, “Yeah, I’m aware of it.” So, like, and, you know, “da, da, da” –

Candice Wu 56:22

Yeah, the what, famous “da, da, da”

Jill Massura 56:24

I love my three periods in a row! Don’t I?

Candice Wu 56:24

Yeah. You do.

Jill Massura 56:24

Screw the comma! Punctuation discrimination wants you to pause.

Candice Wu 56:29

Jill, it’s fabulous to have you on the show.

Jill Massura 56:48

It’s a pleasure. Always.

Jill Massura 56:49

Thank you.

Candice Wu 56:49

I just love you. And you just bring so much fun to the work and honesty and vulnerability. I appreciate all of what you bring.

Candice Wu 56:51

Thank you so much.

Jill Massura 57:02

Always a pleasure to be with you.

Candice Wu 57:05

Okay. Tell us Jill about your upcoming workshop.

Jill Massura 57:07

Oh yeah, my workshop. I’m so excited about this one. It’s called the Passion Project. And my colleague, friend, sister, soul sister, Holly Mihelic and I are doing this workshop together. Holly is another coach who is also another teacher in my life and also a really dear friend, and brings her own body of wisdom and life experience to this workshop in a different and similar way than I do.

Jill Massura 57:42

So, we’re chosen to collaborate on the Passion Project. It’s a weekend workshop for women. That’s coming up in November, the 17th and 18th did I say that already?

Candice Wu 57:54

No.

Jill Massura 57:55

November 17 and 18th. It’s taking place in Auburn Hills at the Spring Hill Suites in Auburn Hills, Michigan. So there’s an opportunity to stay overnight, grab a friend, grab a sister, or just come by yourself and spend a weekend getting to know yourself, exploring and discovering your passion and your purpose.

Jill Massura 58:18

So it’s a 2-day workshop that’s going to involve discovering what gifts and talents and experiences you’ve had, that are burning to come to life, in your life. And then spending the next day declaring that and working through maybe some limiting beliefs and fears that we have around just fully being in ourselves, you know, and our passion.

Jill Massura 58:43

So, I see a need for that in all of the clients that I work with. And it’s sort of like this disconnect goes on. And I think we’ve touched on it here in this conversation, that this disconnect is a natural part of being human, that we get into other people’s stories. And we take on other people’s beliefs. And all of a sudden, one day we turn around and our life doesn’t really feel like as connected as we want. Or we’re not really using our gifts and talents in the way that we had hoped to.

Jill Massura 58:45

And so this workshop is just an awesome opportunity to come and explore what it is that you really want for yourself and how to get there.

Candice Wu 59:24

That sounds beautiful.

Jill Massura 59:25

Yeah.

Candice Wu 59:26

I also –

Jill Massura 59:27

I’m so excited about it.

Candice Wu 59:28

Oh, my gosh, yeah. Anyone going to this, feels called to this, I think is just going to get so much out of it.

Candice Wu 59:35

Holly was on the podcast also.

Jill Massura 59:37

Oh, she was?

Candice Wu 59:37

Yeah. So if you’re listening into this and you want to get in touch, connected with Holly and her voice, you can go to CandiceWu.com/holly and there’s her podcast.

Candice Wu 59:49

But, yeah, I think anyone who feels called to it is going to get so much out of it. The order of things that you created together, I love how there’s this declaration on Day 2, is that right?

Jill Massura 1:00:01

Yes.

Candice Wu 1:00:02

And then working through the fears and the resistance that comes up because that’s the way it is, right? When we say this is what we want or what we are about, then the flood comes in.

Jill Massura 1:00:14

Right?

Candice Wu 1:00:14

Yup.

Jill Massura 1:00:16

We all love to stand on the mountaintop and declare and then the work comes in.

Candice Wu 1:00:20

Yeah, then it starts pouring… here on the mountain and it’s raining.

Jill Massura 1:00:26

Yeah.

Candice Wu 1:00:28

But yeah, to look at those, it’s so valuable because that process is what happens for me where the fears come after I feel into what I want, and it’s just my soul wanting to cleanse out the stuff that doesn’t fit in anymore. Because I decided something new.

Jill Massura 1:00:48

Yes.

Candice Wu 1:00:49

So how powerful —

Jill Massura 1:00:51

Perfect.

Candice Wu 1:00:51

And I invite everyone who’s listening, who’s a woman, because –

Jill Massura 1:00:56

A woman’s workshop —

Candice Wu 1:00:57

to check that out.

Jill Massura 1:00:58

Awesome. I don’t think I said the website?

Candice Wu 1:01:01

Yeah.

Jill Massura 1:01:02

PassionProject.life

Candice Wu 1:01:04

PassionProject.life. And that’ll be linked in the show notes too.

Jill Massura 1:01:07

And you can go there and look at the specifics of the weekend. And there’s all the registration and hotel information, and all of that great stuff is all there on the website. So –

Candice Wu 1:01:12

Awesome! Check that out. And where can people find you, Jill?

Jill Massura 1:01:27

And they can find me on JillMassura.com.

Candice Wu 1:01:31

Excellent. And if you stay tuned this week, Jill is offering an experience of EFT Tapping. Do you want to say something about that before we close?

Jill Massura 1:01:42

For sure. Yeah, so EFT tapping was a tool. You know, we talked about tools, right? Healthy tools of coping, EFT was a tool that I found that really moved my life and transformed my life in a way that made sense and made me feel better in my body and in my thoughts and actually gave me a coping tool to help me move forward through fear and stress.

Jill Massura 1:02:07

And so it’s something that I use in my life every day. And it’s something that I use with my clients each and every one. So I am going to be offering a general experience of tapping around purpose.

Candice Wu 1:02:21

Oh!

Jill Massura 1:02:22

Yes.

Candice Wu 1:02:23

I can’t wait.

Jill Massura 1:02:24

That’ll be available for everybody. Link to the show. Right?

Candice Wu 1:02:27

Yeah. It’ll air just a couple of days after this podcast, but it will still be linked to your link on CandiceWu.com/jill

Jill Massura 1:02:38

Perfect!

Candice Wu 1:02:41

Thank you so much.

Jill Massura 1:02:43

Thank you.

Candice Wu 1:02:44

This was really, such an honor and really fun to delve into things and banter a little bit and hear your story. Thank you.

Jill Massura 1:02:55

Thank you.

Candice Wu 1:02:56

Until next time, Jill.

Candice Wu 1:02:59

Thank you so much for all of you out there listening to our conversation. If you have questions for either of us, feel free to reach out to us.

Candice Wu 1:03:07

The information for Jill is in the show notes below. But you can find her at Jillmassura.com and check out her Passion Project that’s coming up in November.

Candice Wu 1:03:17

I felt really invigorated by our conversation and just don’t know what’s going to show up each time. And as we concluded this conversation, we began talking about how to know when to let go or to keep pushing forward or when to hop off the train. And so I’ve been left with those thoughts. And this is the end of the podcast. So we will just hop off this train now. So I hope you enjoyed this and see you next time on the Embody Podcast.

Candice Wu 0:00

Hello, and welcome back to the Embody Podcast. Today, you’re listening to a very special episode from Jill Massura on EFT tapping. She’s offering an experience so that you can let go and let in, and be fully in your purpose. So, sit back and enjoy.

Jill Massura 0:20

Hi, this is Jill Massura. Welcome to the tapping meditation, letting go and letting in. If you’re unfamiliar with the EFT tapping points, a download of the tapping points can be found in the show notes. So, go ahead and get that if you need to. If you’re already familiar and using tapping in your life, awesome. Let’s get started.

I’m going to prompt you to move through the points by calling out each point as we move through this tapping sequence. I’m also going to say a few words or a phrase at each point in at which time when I finished talking, you’re going to repeat out loud. For example, I may say eyebrow, and say something, like: I’ve been holding myself back. You will start tapping on the eyebrow point and repeat: I’ve been holding myself back, okay? So, let’s begin.

Starting with the karate chop point on the side of the hand, using the four fingers of your opposite hand. Just start tapping on the karate chop point.

Even though I’ve been holding myself back, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I’ve done allowing my past to hold me back, I deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I’ve had some confusion around finding my purpose, I deeply and completely accept myself. Eyebrow: I’ve been holding myself back.

Side eye: I’ve been holding myself back. Under the eye: I’ve been holding myself back from everything. Under the nose: holding myself back from what I really want. Chin: holding myself back from what I really need.

Collarbone: holding myself back from what I really deserve in life. Under the arm: I’ve been holding myself back. Top of the head: I’ve been holding myself back. Eyebrow: these events from my past.Side eye: these things that happened to me. Under the eye: I took them in as truth. Under the nose: I believe these things that happened to me. Chin: I believed they were true. Collarbone: I believe they were true about me. Under the arm: I believed they were true, and I made stories about my life to support them. Top of the head: stories about what I am capable of achieving.

Eyebrow: I want to know myself better. Side eye: I want to trust myself again. Under the eye: but I have all these stories. Under the nose: and all these things that have happened to me. Chin: that are holding me back. Collarbone: I’ve used them as proof. Under the arm: that I don’t deserve to be happy. Top of the head: that has made me very confused. Eyebrow: I believe these events from my past. Side eye: I turned them into stories. Under the eye: I made them true in my life. Under the nose: I’ve used them as excuses. Chin: about why I can’t succeed.

Collarbone: I’m tired of ignoring my past. Underneath the arm: I’m tired of running from it, too. Top of the head: maybe it’s not even true, these stories that I’ve made up. Eyebrow: maybe it’s time to let these stories go. Side eye: maybe it’s time to let these memories go. Under the eye: maybe I’m more than these events. Under the nose: maybe I can let it all go. Chin: maybe it’s time to take back my power. Collarbone: and listen to my own voice. Under the arm: I want to listen to my own voice. Top of the head: and trust myself again.

Eyebrow: I want to move forward. Side eye: I want to choose happiness. Under the eye: I want to succeed. Under the nose: I want to know that I’m good enough. Chin: I want to feel that I’m good enough. Collarbone: I want to let go of the past. Under the arm: it’s time to let go of the past. Top of the head: I choose to release these patterns to move forward. Eyebrow: I’m taking back my power. Side eye: I’m taking back my thoughts. Under the eye: the past doesn’t control me anymore. Under the nose: I am in charge of me and my life. Chin: I am in charge of what I think. Collarbone: I am in charge of what I believe. Under the arm: I am in charge of what I do. Top of the head: I choose to release the past and move forward.

Last round. Eyebrow: I deserve happiness. Side eye, say it loud: I deserve to live a life that I love. Under the eye: I deserve to live a life that inspires me. Under the nose: I trust that I am capable of having everything I want. Chin: I trust that I am worthy of having everything I need. Collarbone I trust the timing of my life. Under the arm: I trust that I can be happy and purposeful. Top of the head: and I deeply and completely love, and accept who I am and where I am headed. Take a nice deep breath in through your nose and let it out.

I hope you enjoyed that tapping meditation, and that it is bringing some peace and calm, and serenity to you today. I recommend that you listen to this at least two more times right now if you have the time or daily if you’re looking to let go of the past and let in purpose in your future. I believe in you a hundred percent. Happy tapping.