Seeing and Communicating with Your Heart — Emily Blefeld & Dan Cohen — EP45

Candice Wu 0:00

This episode is with special guests, Emily Blefeld and Dan Cohen. We explore how the heart can perceive, see, and communicate silently, the powerful inner work that can develop consciousness, bringing compassion and understanding to a larger tapestry of your life, and shifting the binds that limit our hearts.

Candice Wu 0:09

Dan, Emily, and I have wonderful conversations about our ancestries and how that shapes who we are.

Candice Wu 0:15

Hello and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing and self-love.

Candice Wu 0:19

My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 0:29

This episode is made possible by the monthly Embodied group call, there are two calls beginning November 2018 that will be offered, where you can receive transformative support for the soul and the body for whatever comes up in each month, or for strengthening your energy and intentions on your journey. So this is for you if you’d like some of that soul and body healing, support moving through your emotions, tuning into your intuition and getting very clear with yourself and aligning with your purpose, your wisdom, and beliefs that give you empowerment, it’s a lovely way to both receive healing support at a lower cost than individual sessions and to support the podcast.

Candice Wu 0:54

If the podcast has inspired you or touched you at all, this is a way to contribute back and all of the proceeds go towards podcast production and to nourish each episode, you can sign up at CandiceWu.com/patreon or take a look at the other offers that are on Patreon that you can contribute to the podcast. Thanks so much for considering.

Candice Wu 1:04

I am just honored to have Dan and Emily on the show today. I appreciate the profound and very clear ways that they reveal the inner dynamics that connect up with our souls and our collective dynamic.

Candice Wu 1:10

I’ve experienced this personally with their work, where I have found in unbinding and untangling with the dynamics that are in my history, the dynamics and stories that needed acknowledgment so that I could move forward in my life. And I found that they hold space for so many layers of consciousness, including the collective energies, personal histories, ancestral, cultural, historical, and other worlds and dimensions that influence who we are today, that influence our feelings inside and how we see ourselves in the world.

Candice Wu 3:07

I specifically experienced this with myself in a Family Constellation with Dan and Emily together where I wanted to feel a stronger sense of myself. And in the constellation, a person was representing my grandmother and this person kept saying something about losing her footing, and what revealed itself through that was the cultural history in Chinese culture of foot binding, and I was somewhat aware of that. But through that connection, it led me to do a little more research about Chinese foot binding and why and how women were binding their feet, and the relationship with men and women in that dynamic, and how it related to me.

Candice Wu 4:03

And I could even remember at that time feeling like my feet felt so weak, they felt like I couldn’t really stand on solid ground. So, losing my footing, that quote from my grandmother seemed to really make sense in the greater context of what was way before all of us with foot binding. So, I just wanted to share that bit of a story of my personal experience with Dan and Emily and can’t wait for you to get a taste of their work here today on the show. So without further ado, let’s jump into the episode.

Candice Wu 4:43

Today, I’m really delighted to have both Dan and Emily here today. I would love for you to share a little bit about yourself. Hello Dan and Emily!

Emily Blefeld 4:54

Hi Candice.

Dan Cohen 4:55

Hi Candice.

Candice Wu 4:56

How are you doing?

Dan Cohen 4:58

We’re doing very well, really excited to be speaking with you and have this three-way conversation for your listeners.

Emily Blefeld 5:05

We’re really appreciating the invitation to be a part of the call with you, this podcast with you, and just have a great appreciation for you and what you’re offering the world.

Candice Wu 5:16

Thank you. The appreciation goes the other way, too. I am so grateful for what you’re sharing in the world. And every time I’ve experienced your work together, it’s just really mind and spirit blowing. It’s even — just being in your presence, and as well as doing Constellations work. It’s like the cosmos open up when we do work together, just be together.

Candice Wu 5:40

And I’m just delighted to have the two of you and this is the first time I’ve had two guests on the show, and it’s also the first time I experienced working with two facilitators. And I would love for you to share with the audience today, how you do that, and what your work is, and who you are.

Dan Cohen 6:02

Yeah, that’s a great place to start. So, I’m Dan Cohen, and I work and live with Emily, and we work with people, individuals, and groups locally here in Providence, Rhode Island, and all around the United States and internationally as well. And we’re working at making the resources to consciousness beyond the ordinary, available to people in the ordinary day and day.

Emily Blefeld 6:30

I’m Emily Blefeld and Dan and I co-founded Seeing with Your Heart. We met Candice at the North American Systemic Constellations Intensive and it’s a real privilege to be a part of this call and to share space with you, Candice, your work with dreams and your work in the field of consciousness surrounding kind of coming home to yourself, and coming home to your being is just really utterly inspiring. I’m just grateful to be your colleague.

Candice Wu 6:59

Thank you.

Emily Blefeld 6:59

In terms of our work, we work with people on accessing consciousness beyond the ordinary and exploring all the vibrations of their being, the way they feel in the world, the expressions of their truth and how they’re actually multidimensional aspects of life, that we are humans and we are also vibrating with the consciousness that those that came before us. And so we support people in stepping into their power or perks, their clarity, their truth, and really their own inner mystic to be able to kind of access their magical and mystical sides and bring it forward into their life.

Candice Wu 7:36

I feel what you’re doing in the world is so beautiful, and you have the Seeing with Your Heart program, which even just, feeling into those words, seeing with your heart, it brings to me the feeling of that magic and connection with what’s unseen and beyond. How did you get into this work? Or, how did you find yourself here?

Dan Cohen 7:59

Well, we’ve been on, you know, separate paths, most of our life and then we met six years ago, and went through a really slow period of getting to know each other and interacting. And then we started working together professionally, we started co-facilitating together and then we started doing groups together. And then our personal relationship grew, we are in a heart space all the time, and even though we’re an unlikely couple, just the way that we were traveling these pathways of consciousness so much and being open-hearted and seeing with your heart brought us into a love relationship as well. And so we are connected in those ways.

Dan Cohen 8:45

For me, the origins are as a peacemaker, someone interested in conflict resolution and violence prevention. And having done that work for many years, for decades, I realized that there was a piece missing, there was a tool that was not in the toolbox. It wasn’t even being spoken about. I didn’t know what it was and it didn’t seem like very many people knew what it was, it wasn’t in the literature and I went looking for it and I spent about a year looking for it.

Dan Cohen 9:14

And I came across Family Constellations work coming out of Germany and recognize that it was the tool that I was looking for. That was almost 20 years ago, and since then, I’ve been working with it, you know, very extensively, full time for over 10 years and each time we open up the field of consciousness and dive down into these layers of consciousness that are within us and around us, we learn something new about the mystery of our existence.

Emily Blefeld 9:42

For me, I identify as a wisdom for newer. I’ve just been an entrepreneur’s always seeking wisdom, wisdom of how you know, how to be human, how to be the greatest form of myself and the fullest expression of my love and my gifts and talents in the world and so, I was a psychotherapist in private practice and came across this work when I was supporting entrepreneurs and visionaries with overcoming, kind of the avalanche of modern living, had to be balanced and centered in a fun and also live your love like your purpose. And I came across this work when I was looking for a tool that could support people when they feel like they’ve met their purpose. They’re kind of doing it, they’re productive, they’re effective, they’re living their life, they’re in relationship and yet something still feels like it’s missing.

Emily Blefeld 10:31

There was kind of this inner emptiness that was alive in my own life at the time and also in the client’s lives and I went looking for the tool that creates a sense of wholeness not only in the person but the wholeness in family and relationships and in communities at large.

Emily Blefeld 10:47

I find so many people that are most successful, they’re greate visionaries and activists in the world that actually, on an extroverted level, appear full and complete inside, there’s kind of this insatiable desire for something more, and I was curious on what fills that desire, what quenches thirst and I came across Constellations when I was attending a program called, Women Leading Change Against Gender-based Violence, and this worked in 30 minutes, I found my entire family was set up, my son, my mother, my grandmother, great grandmother, kind of in representation form and there was this emergence of tears and grief.

Emily Blefeld 11:23

And, you know, the people that participated in the Constellation knew nothing about my family and just fully vented all of the entanglements that were there. And it was kind of mind-blowing, the actual experience was mind-blowing. But I didn’t really think too much of it, think I’d start facilitating it. But in the weeks to come after that experience, everything in my life changed. And I — things on my sister’s lives, my mother’s life changed. And it just, I realized that this work not only affects the person sitting in your office with you, but it affects you know, every family member that is in relationship with the person you work with, but I needed to learn more and that was the beginning of the journey.

Candice Wu 12:03

Wow, I can really relate to that sense of what, you know, being really successful, being in this more outwardly life that looks amazing, and then feeling that emptiness inside or that something’s just not really fulfilled, or right. I think it’s so powerful, what you both are doing in terms of working with those subtleties, of what that sense of unease or unrest that can lead to just so much depth and knowing.

Dan Cohen 12:34

Yeah, absolutely, it’s a, you know, a big shift in the paradigm of consciousness.

Dan Cohen 12:40

I was raised in a very secular environment in Manhattan, where the only things that were real were kind of physical objects and the energy that moves the universe, it’s a very kind of scientific worldview and I was brought up in that and I think that’s part of who, you know, what I felt was missing. I was aware for myself — kind of gathering into large groups around spiritual traditions felt like a bit of a trap for me, so I was more mystical in my orientation, that if there is consciousness beyond that physical, that each individual has equal access to it, that it’s not only spirit mediums that can talk to the dead. It’s not only psychics that can be telepathic. It’s not only priests or priestesses that have access to angels and the divine, that every individual has that capacity and I was very interested in what human life look like if we stepped out of the constraints of materialist worldview and stepped into a more of a magical worldview, that we recognize that we actually are open and in communication with past, present, and future all at once and consciousness beyond us, beyond our own individual brains.

Emily Blefeld 14:03

I found for me, as a psychotherapist in private practice, working with people who are always kind of trying to find their pathways to their own healing and wellness. I found many times, I was being asked to kind of explain away the mystery, explain where the anxiety is coming from, our support, somebody in overcoming their grief or their pain, their suffering, the traumas of their lifetime and to understand them and despite how often we explored, what we knew and maybe what we knew we didn’t know, we rarely tapped into those places that — of what you don’t know that you don’t know.

Emily Blefeld 14:41

And I was seeking to find the answers to what can’t be explained, who is present in someone’s anxiety or who is present in somebody’s grief and sadness or they’re — the traumas that their experience, what is it that is creating these fractals in human consciousness and creating this challenge or these intentions or these wanderings. It just felt like there was so much more happening in our space than what met the eye or what met the story. And in the work that we’ve done, it really opens to create space for the mystery and for you know, diving into you know who else, what ancestor, what spirit guide, what presence is with us, in these questions, and in these challenges, and you know, how to heal and act as a much higher level of magic in everyday life. It kind of blew the top off psychotherapy for me, and it kind of revolutionized my practice and opens major these to continued questions.

Candice Wu 15:43

Yeah, it’s very similar to the experience I had, like, it just blew the top off of anything else I knew. And I remember going to my first Constellation, and just being floored, like, I had no idea there were some things so unexplained and magical, and yet synced right up with every part of my being, every fiber of myself that I could feel, and I love the way you explain it.

Candice Wu 16:11

And I’m curious about how it feels to work together, the two of you, and how you tune in together. I’ve witnessed moments where the two of you are facilitating, and you’ll say, “Let’s just tune in together.” And then you’ll just agree on something unconsciously. Or, I don’t know if that’s the right word to say, but you’ll agree on something silently, between the two of you and it just starts to magically unfold and, or, you’ll make decisions in the space of not talking out loud. And so, I’ve just loved witnessing that happen, the magic of that, which is, I think, in some ways, not so “magical”, but maybe methodical as well, or maybe just sensing. So, I wonder how you speak to that and what’s happening for you, how you experience it?

Emily Blefeld 17:03

It’s been a real journey to collaborate, first collaborate and then come together, both of our origins, we both had thriving practices individually. And when we started to collaborate with some of our shared clients, and each of our clients individually, we found that there was something so much greater that became present to our work when we work together versus when we worked individually.

Emily Blefeld 17:27

I find Dan has this profound sense of history, and he, you know, he actually holds his memory outside of his brain. So we’ll be working in the field, it’s almost like an iPhone app, when you press an app on a phone, and you can just bring up like, all this information, you can kind of access a field of memory beyond what he stored on his brain, that’s like an app, like,he turned on the app, and he just draw something in.

Emily Blefeld 17:36

So we may be working with somebody’s depression, and we end up with famine of, you know, generations past in some third world country where Dan knows nothing about the history and yet he’s able to access the information in that person’s field of consciousness. So that’s something that I have — a very strong kind of sight, perception, and capacity to see and hear and feel and know the exact ancestors, but the context that they lived in, is something that Dan can paint a picture and it’s beyond belief.

Emily Blefeld 18:27

And when I experienced that the first time in working with him, I quickly felt, well, that’s like, that’s more relevant, that’s better, that’s a better aspect. It’s, you know, if we, you know, put ourselves down and put somebody else above us, when the beginning of working together, I had to work pretty solidly on myself, my own inner critic on exploring, you know, who is that voice that comes up inside of me that says, you know, just seeing an ancestor or sensing an ancestor or being able to tune in with like, that level of precision isn’t as great as being able to understand the full collective macro trauma of society or culture.

Emily Blefeld 19:07

So I guess an answer to that was kind of the beginning and one of the things that I always say, in any collaboration that anybody does with anybody is to really look at what you bring is your own gift and then work with the part of you that discredits your gift is not being enough or polished enough or strong enough or in relation to others can’t really take its place, that it’s our work as facilitators and leaders to really do our work on our own inner critic so that we can show up in our fullness and trust our movement and trust, you know, what we provide.

Emily Blefeld 19:39

And then secondly, I guess the place it’s led to, in doing my own work on my own wholeness and my own confidence and leadership, and being able to honor Dan’s gifts and Dan’s strength and leadership, we find that we, it’s kind of, it’s quite seamless. We can read each other’s minds and tune in and so, when we co-facilitate, we’re sort of communicating in silence between our hearts and actually most of the people that do our programs will access that capacity to communicate with their heart and communicate with another, with their heart. So I find, it’s something that all humans have the capacity to do, but Dan and I are practicing every day and you know, using network and a perception like a muscle that you just build and so there’s less need for words and more need for the heart and kind of trusting and working together.

Candice Wu 20:28

Beautiful.

Dan Cohen 20:29

For me, I come at it from my own background and I think Emily and I are able to do was, we’re modeling how the masculine and feminine energies interact and move within individuals and within partners or larger groups of people. As Emily’s describing her — that inner critic that comes in, so she may see an ancestor in the room or get some wonderful, incredible insight about what is happening in the system. And then there’s an inner critic that comes in that start to kind of put it down to kind of internalized oppressor, an internal patriarch who, or matriarch that comes in and starts undercutting it.

Emily Blefeld 21:09

Let me just add something, that happens for most mystics. Well, particularly women that are stepping into a field with a man present, that internalized oppression at that part that kind of challenges. What are you doing in this field of consciousness, you know, taking a standard, speaking your truth, it’s almost every mystic I know or every empath I know. It stands in this space with a man that it’s our work to find out who is that in our lineage and how to include it and work with it so it doesn’t sabotage our movement forward and our kind of rising in our own leadership. Go ahead, Dan.

Dan Cohen 21:43

You know, for me as a Jewish baby boomer from New York City, a born in the 1950s. So I came into the world 10 years after the end of the Holocaust, when, you know, half of the Jewish community had been murdered. And so the babies that were born in the United States, Jewish children came after the war had such a great pressure put on them, or expectation to restock the pond, this sense, so there was this tremendous amount of expectation that there was something that needed to be replenished, that myself and the others of my generation we’re going to take care of, and that continued through my childhood, even though I was, you know, great disappointment to my parents in many ways, because I didn’t really you know, pick up the violin or the, you know, a pencil very well, but that’s expectation was there and correlate to what Emily’s describing is, as a baby boomer, white male, I have a kind of arrogance that I’m so sure of myself. I’m so positive that what I think is happening is right in the direction that I want to go is the right way to go. And I know how to help the people and there were times where I need to find how to step back from my own sense of importance, of entitlement, a privilege of the wisdom of my own ideas.

Dan Cohen 23:10

And I think in the interaction between the two of us, as Emily’s inner critic is being kind of worked within her, my kind of inner asshole is getting worked within me. And so, we are a partnership, we’re working with these masculine and feminine energies, both with ourselves and with our partnership. And I think what we’re able to, you know, create with that is something beautiful, and I think that people, you know, don’t see it modeled off. And I think that’s one of the things that people find in our partnership that’s very appealing to actually see masculine and feminine, not, you know, beyond a man and a woman, but how each of us contains masculine and feminine energies. And we hold those in balance individually, but also together in the way that we’re working.

Emily Blefeld 23:55

And how we work with the shadow of it, that it’s really easy, when you’re in a place of leadership, to embody the polarity of what you’re seeking to set forth. So if I’m wanting to support people in stepping into their mysticism or their breath of life, and it requires space and time and kind of more Yin energy, I can find myself meet the polarity to that intention.

Emily Blefeld 24:21

So inside, I can feel like I want to clarify. I want to make it really easy. I want to move it right along. I want people to understand what I’m doing. There’s a kind of an anxiety about being with that Yin, and you know, for Dan, he, at times can step back and be more feminine, in fear, potentially, that is masculine, maybe be too strong or may not be received, and that he needs to kind of hold space and in essence, his voice gets lost.

Emily Blefeld 24:48

So there’s also a dance and being able to claim who he is as a man in this world, a man of privilege and use that privilege to create spaces for healing and to empower the disempowered and to empower that his voice. So, there’s a real dance in working with the polarities as they arise. We find any intention that you set. You oftentimes meet its polarity in the first few moments of trying to step into it.

Candice Wu 25:12

That makes complete sense. It’s also very relevant to me right now, this dance of the polarities and sounds like what you’re saying, Dan and Emily, what you’re saying about what you witness with Dan is that ability to use the tools of masculine and feminine in you and draw upon them at different times. But then also not, well, just experiencing going a little too far, maybe, or losing yourself in some way and how — where is something a reaction to that initial experience, and where is the balance, where does it feel like you or feel like you’re claiming your full resonance and power. It’s complex.

Emily Blefeld 25:56

Absolutely.

Dan Cohen 25:57

Right. And it, you know, works right into the core of Constellation work which is looking at the balance of polarities. We work often with the way that people are their own victims and carry kind of a victimization consciousness within them and keep acting out, playing out in different parts of their lives, the way that they get victimized, we certainly stayed in relationships, that people have a series of relationships and they’re victimized in this relationship, or they might see it in their employment, where they’re the hardest working person, but every time they’re kind of getting taken advantage of, and then also within families, with siblings, and parents and children, how someone can be playing the victim role or the opposite of that, someone could be in relationships where they find themselves over-controlling, or they lose their temper, or become, you know, very angered and controlling and that kind of taking on more kind of perpetrator energy.

Dan Cohen 26:55

And so that’s in the core design of Constellations is to bring all the that to light and to find, you know, where the threads are, to trace the root back to, you know, where did this pattern of victimization begin.

Dan Cohen 27:08

And sometimes you can see it in, in the family with mothers and grandmothers, but often we’re tracing it back through history. So, if we’re working with a person of European descent, we might find it related to the wars in Europe or Irish, certainly to the oppression of Ireland under British rule. And wherever it is in the world, we are always tracing back both through the family and through the history and then bringing forth and allowing people to be in relationship with the perpetrator within them, and the victim within them, their inner victim, and maybe what’s compassionate in them, what takes care of people who are in need, or have — or disadvantage in some way.

Dan Cohen 27:50

And that perpetrator is the person who knows how to get things done, who can step into a situation of — it might be very chaotic, and bring some order, have a vision and see it fulfilled. And so there actually is a value in rather than just repeating these memes of past generations to be able to gather those threads of consciousness and use them to be able to move life forward in a good way for ourselves and for others.

Emily Blefeld 28:17

You know, for me, I found my default is at times to, kind of sit on the fence as per Hellinger, the founder of Constellation work, would describe. I might not want to stand up for whatever I feel or ruffle anyone’s feathers, start a conflict or kind of step away. I’m just sort of a by standard. I can stay there kind of quiet on the sidelines of my life and notice that I’m doing things that I don’t really want to do. Or, I’m agreeing to things I might not want to agree to, or I’m not really addressing the conflict in my life. I’m just kind of sitting back hoping that it’ll pass and I find, you know, that many, particularly many women in the world will do that and are trained to do that, to not really stand up for their truth or step into their power or create conflicts and not clean them up you know, they might “people please”, do what others want, not need or receive anything from anybody and that creates a level of flatness and kind of depression baseline in life that is, like, they’re not really in the game of life.

Emily Blefeld 29:21

And it’s oftentimes a protection of being innocent. Dan is kind of talked about perpetrators and victims, the one who doesn’t dirty their hands, or doesn’t get over-involved or kind of stays back and avoid the conflict, you know, maybe doesn’t take risks, doesn’t want to lose or doesn’t step away from something out of fear that it’ll be the wrong choice, that we’re oftentimes not really fully living our life and will feel a level of flatness, emptiness, a kind of a light depression and it can be really collapsing and get it preserves our innocence and our sense of belonging to our families, or relationships, or our way of life that no longer serves us.

Emily Blefeld 29:58

So a lot of the work we do is around supporting people and getting off the fence, stepping into their life and really feeling what you know, what are the consequences that come up? What energies are moving through them, what are they resisting? What are they accepting, you know, what’s their truth in that movement?

Candice Wu 30:14

Yeah, you described my default perfectly, and the words like protection of being innocent, that really can give a highlight the true heart of it, like, the desire that comes out of doing that, to stay innocent, to be loved, to be seen in a light, a loving light, thank you for that. And anything is really powerful, what you’re doing with that language, as well as you’re using beautiful language. But I know that the work that you’re doing is incredibly tuned into the body and sensing and moving and how you weave this together is beautiful.

Candice Wu 30:56

What challenges do you find in working together or working in this area of energy and consciousness and in the ancestry of everything?

Emily Blefeld 31:08

For me, one of the challenges is — I’m a true empath and so I find the importance for kind of spiritual and psychic hygiene is really high, that after each session, I kind of clear my body and clear the space that I work within. And sometimes days before a session, I can start to feel the symptoms of what I’m going to be working with and it’s really easy to make it mine, oh, I’m feeling some challenge. And you might feel a sense of apathy or a sense of anxiety, or a sense of rage that, and you know, it’s kind of a rising in your life. And then two days later, you meet with your client and the client describes the exact feelings you’ve been feeling for two to three days. And so in the beginning of my practice, that was a great challenge of mine was it, I was thinking that I was just emotionally labile with all these things that we’re moving through me when actually it was oftentimes something that we call as prefield or the consciousness is arriving to work with, to be worked with a bit earlier than the human’s appointment as actually scheduled.

Emily Blefeld 32:07

And so I’ve had to learn all types of practices, kind of setting barriers to the space I work in, almost like consciousness waiting rooms, where the ancestors and the guides that are showing up earlier can hang out in the waiting room before the session starts. And it’s been a huge shift and change for my life, to have these certain types of practice that really help and pass to do the work they’re meant to do. Because I find many times it’s that energy that can stop us from fully wanting to do this full time. And I oftentimes envy Dan because he’s like Teflon, it’s like none of this energy really permeates his system in the same way that I feel it in. And I think it’s just based on everybody’s different way of being.

Emily Blefeld 32:47

So he’s been able to honor the practices I need to set up to be able to facilitate in a healthy way. But I would say that’s probably the number one challenge that I’ve had in doing this work is, you know, where do I start and another human being begins.

Dan Cohen 33:02

For me, I think my biggest challenge is some kind of overeagerness that sometimes can border on just being a little bit intrusive, when I’m in the more public conversation around mental health and activism, about people wanting to start businesses and grow their practices. There is the dominant paradigm, is either a kind of very flat and kind of ordinary-reality-based or it can be very disconnected from that reality and kind of up into the clouds, into the ethers. And without a real strong flow and connection between the two worlds, I feel like the work that we’re doing is being able to really integrate ordinary day to day consciousness, the consciousness of ancestors, that’s with us all the time, that’s always communicating and interacting with us in all kinds of ways. And then the consciousness of beyond humans scale the consciousness of spirit.

Dan Cohen 34:01

And if there’s a way that, if we can pull in all of these threads, and use them as a resource, to be able to clear these ancient wounds, and then to be able to access the ethers and spirit consciousness, be able to access it through our biological lineage, we can really become, you know, really very empowered and capable people who can manifest and create what we want in the world.

Dan Cohen 34:27

And when I see it, how much it’s not happening, and how so many people are just stuck with repetitive emotional patterns, and relationship patterns and work patterns, and not able to really express themselves fully in the world, it’s, like, frustrating for me, and I was wanting to kind of, you know, grab people by the shirt and tell them, “Hey, this can, you know, you don’t have to live this way you can actually release. You don’t have to carry a bad mood for 10 years, it can be cleared, but you can’t do it with the tools that you’re using.” And it could be a little overbearing, so I’ve had to learn how to modify that kind of, moderated a little bit and allow people to, you know, come in their own time when they’re ready for it.

Emily Blefeld 35:14

I think something else I want to add to challenges is when you step into the path of the mystic, or you can step into the path where you’re embodying some of your greatest gifts in life, some of your greatest talents, it’s really easy to feel like, that’s all you’re supposed to do, that is what your life is, this is a unique blueprint of who you are as a human being, and you’re supposed to fulfill it, and be it and bring that light into the world.

Emily Blefeld 35:41

And it’s taken me a while to work with accepting the things that bring me alive, even if they aren’t, like, super spiritual and really mystical and magical, but they’re actually things that I just really love to do so and to give myself permission, and to have conversations with my guides that I’m human, and that I have desires to do real human things and that sometimes, I don’t want to be traveling the ethers working in these ways.

Emily Blefeld 36:06

So for me, I love mentoring and supporting people and stepping into their practices and visibility and bringing their work out into the world. And oftentimes, it’s real, tangible, kind of creating accountability and business planning, and, you know, supporting healers and change agents, and kind of actualizing or manifesting what they’re here to do. But it doesn’t require a lot of mysticism or magic, oftentimes, it’s just really honing in and supporting people and taking those steps and in a way of releasing their binds, or the fears that are holding them back.

Emily Blefeld 36:37

And it took me a while, a few years to return to doing that work. Because I felt this kind of debt that I have this gift, and I need to work with this gift in every session. And, you know, working in kind of a coaching way doesn’t do that and so I think that’s another challenge, also, is to kind of just be with your human self, and access your gifts, harness those gifts. But do really what you want to do in constant conversation with your guides.

Candice Wu 37:01

Yeah, it’s really resonating with me, all of those struggles and this sort of feeling of debt and overeagerness, like really wanting for the world to see different tools, or a different way of experiencing that they have access to.

Candice Wu 37:20

I’ve experienced that a lot this year, where it brought me some suffering that I wanted that for the world yet, sometimes the world doesn’t necessarily want that and to accept that where it is. And as you were saying, Dan, to let people come at their own pace. And what I found for me was that connected right up with that younger self in me and other parts of me that wanted to save the world and needed to survive, that it was a terrifying world. And if I could save it, then it would just be better. So is this sense of needing control and to shift gears, to heal some of those wounds and shift gears into what actually makes me feel alive and live and feel joy, and like, I want to be alive. And a big part of that this year, for me, has been getting into ballet and horseback riding. And so I really resonate with what you’re saying. Thank you for that.

Dan Cohen 38:23

It’s interesting, Candice, because I would really love for you to save the world.

Emily Blefeld 38:29

Yeah, me too.

Dan Cohen 38:29

I probably should encourage you but —

Candice Wu 38:31

I would love for all of us to save the world, yes. No, I don’t want to do it myself.

Dan Cohen 38:38

Right. I don’t want to put too much air in that balloon. But when I think of the work you’re doing, I’ve been listening to the other podcasts and just feeling how impactful there are in there. And there’s just a real beauty and wisdom in your message and the way you’re putting the shows together, that mixture of meditative and informational and, you know, bringing speakers in, you know, it’s really inspiring for me, and I certainly, you know, can understand, I have to say, motivation, is that, you know, as a child of Jewish parents, I don’t know anything about your family background, except, you know, your last name, and your parents, I infer that you’re, you know, you have a Chinese background, you know, you go back to generations in China, and it’s a place of tremendous amount of wounding and suffering over the centuries. And certainly also in, you know, in recent decades, and so, I can appreciate how you would be inspired to, you know, to want to make an impact in this kind of chaotic world of humans harming themselves.

Dan Cohen 39:46

And there’s, you know, there was some balance, obviously, we can’t do it as individuals here, there are big systems in play that are beyond any of our control and there’s also a way for each one of us to fully play our part. I just reflect back that I can appreciate you need to, you know, be with your own artistry. But, I, you do inspire me in that way that the people that you’re reaching are being impacted in a really positive way.

Candice Wu 40:13

Thank you, Dan. That means a lot to me, thank you.

Emily Blefeld 40:16

And to the listeners, I would just add that we are on the faculty of the North American Systemic Constellations Intensive and Candice presented a workshop in one of the breakout sessions at that intensive and it was one of the best Constellation workshops I’ve attended. So for any of you that are interested in working with Candice, she’s a phenomenal constellator, offers profound retreats and healing intensives, relationship coaching, and all sorts of different things. So check out her website, because she is saving the world in her healings and offerings and she can have a profound impact on your life.

Candice Wu 40:51

Thank you. It just really touches me and I so appreciate you tuning into my work as well and engaging with it, it just, it means the world to me. And it’s so amazing coming from the two of you, and seeing what you’re doing and experiencing, this unbelievable work you’re doing that just opens up my soul and spirit and I can’t wait to jump in on your consciousness call. Would you share with the audience about what you do every, is it Tuesday, the first Tuesday of the month?

Dan Cohen 41:26

The first Tuesday every month, we have a free consciousness call, it’s at Eight o’clock Eastern, you can get information about it from our website seeingwithyourheart.com, and it’s an opportunity for us to, you know, have kind of a free public space and be able to do our work. So we have a lot of people call in internationally, we record it so people can download it and listen to it on their own time as well. And it’s a chance for us to, you know, share something of what we’re doing with everybody. We do a little bit of meditation, and we do some teaching it and we do some process work. It’s different every time.

Emily Blefeld 42:03

And it’s great to be a part of the global community that joins in for that call, you’ll feel colors from all over the world in some of the portions that are live. And you can kind of sense that your heart is connected to a global pulse of consciousness and we’re doing individual and collective healing on those calls.

Candice Wu 42:23

That sounds amazing. What can people expect? I know that there isn’t a set thing that happens, of course, and it’s all intuitive to what’s happening. But how does the call go? What can people experience?

Emily Blefeld 42:36

When you call in, we’ll open with a meditation, we then invite people into whatever the teaching is of the month, we send out a monthly newsletter with some points around consciousness, healing, self-love, and any of the turbulence in the collective world at the time, we’ll kind of reflect on that.

Emily Blefeld 42:52

So when people call in, they’ll receive a meditation that’s kind of geared towards that topic. We’ll offer some teachings on the topic of the month and then we create Constellations that people can participate in from the comfort of their own home, their computer, their phone, where they call in from, and you step into the fields of consciousness, and really open to whatever is moving for you in that time, typically, people release something on the call and manifest and intention that they’re seeking to manifest, they kind of open to the consciousness that can manifest that. We get a lot of positive feedback from many of the people that call in about the changes that occurred as a result of them participating in the global call.

Candice Wu 43:33

Beautiful.

Dan Cohen 43:34

I think the core teachings that we work with every month is that ancestral consciousness that resides in us, it’s part of our cellular memory, it’s encoded in our DNA and it’s also the consciousness that moves the universe. It’s this larger field of, you could call it quantum consciousness, or Akashic records, there are many different names for it. But it is the theme that consciousness creates life, not the other way around. And so that we are swimming in an ocean of consciousness, and that when we are connected to it, and interacting with it, when we are receiving and transmitting into the field and gaining the resources, and particularly with our biological lineage, mother, father, grandmother, grandfather and generations behind them, aunts and uncles, that when we ignore it, they create a lot of symptoms for us. When we pretend that we are just solo entities, just a random collection of molecules that just appeared and when we exist that way, this consciousness breaks down the door to get through, and it does so through symptoms, and repetitive fractal patterns of suffering. And when we open ourselves to it, and interact with it, allow it to be with us on an ongoing basis, it actually releases all of those suffering patterns and become a resource, a type of blessing for us to really be able to thrive and bloom in the life that we have for this, however long it is that we’re here.

Candice Wu 45:17

When I’m sitting in your presence, Dan and Emily, I feel that sense of holding everything that’s there in relationship being in relationship with all that is within our consciousness, in all the layers and that we’re aware of, and connecting with it in different ways, rather than omitting or erasing or trying to leave behind or cut off from us and just be one part of us. It’s such a full feeling. And I hear it in your words, but I also feel it in your presence and I really appreciate that sense that you bring out in the world.

Candice Wu 46:00

And so if you’re here listening, you can check out Dan and Emily’s work together in a variety of methods, their one on one work with you. You guys do a free 30-minute consultation. Is that right?

Emily Blefeld 46:15

Yes.

Candice Wu 46:15

Yeah. And they do workshops,

Emily Blefeld 46:18

We invite people to contact us for the free consultation as just an opportunity for you to just share what’s alive in your life, what struggles you’re facing, what challenges whether individually or in relationship to another, you’re experiencing, we tune in and rather than asking what’s causing this, we tune into whose present with you, what’s alive in your life that is the consciousness that’s contributing to these patterns, and offer some recommendations and insights for steps forward. So we welcome any of you to go to our website and sign up for that consult.

Candice Wu 46:49

Beautiful. Thank you so much. Is there anything else that either of you wants to share today with me, with our audience, with each other, maybe we can tune in here and see if any messages come through.

Dan Cohen 47:03

Oh, that’s a great idea. You want to take a few seconds we’ll tune in.

Candice Wu 47:06

Yeah, I love that.

Dan Cohen 47:06

That’s a great idea. Dead air time is always good in podcasts.

Emily Blefeld 47:10

So we actually invited all of you listening in to tune in as well and that means just kind of closing your eyes and breathing with the pulse of life that is you.

Dan Cohen 47:44

Okay?

Dan Cohen 47:46

I can share an image — Did you get an image Candice? You want to share first?

Candice Wu 47:51

I got a wave of sadness, and that wave of sadness had to do with pieces of me, and perhaps others, I’m not sure, but a sadness about all the ways, times, that I’ve held myself in unworthiness and feeling like, there are parts of me that are less than, as you were saying, Emily, with comparing ourselves to other people, especially if you’re a woman mystic or empath, and that’s my experience too is comparing myself to others and seeing their qualities as better when it’s really about the different aspects that are a treasure in me, that can be brought to the situation or the interaction. So, some sadness leaving. Thank you, Dan.

Candice Wu 48:43

What do you have? You had an image?

Dan Cohen 48:44

I felt — Yeah, I had an image came to me. I didn’t think it was you. I thought it was a listener, and maybe you’re channeling someone in your audience that will hear this. But I felt a person seems like a woman who was standing kind of at the edge of a destroyed urban landscape. Something that you might see, kind of current-day Detroit, where there, you know, so many blocks of abandoned and crumbling buildings, and kind of broken glass and a place of feeling hopelessness and destruction and violence.

Dan Cohen 49:23

And they were, it was almost like a, being in a painting where they were right at the edge of that and they were looking forward to these green flowing hills and flowers blooming, and a mountain beyond with clouds, kind of looked like a Mount Fuji kind of scene. And the first part of the landscape felt like the ordinary here. And now that’s kind of the life that they’re living with the work that they have, and get up in the morning, go into work, and not having enough money, and blah… — Their mother and the boyfriend, or whatever it is going on and then they felt kind of spirit calling for them, they felt guides and angels and a magical world. And they felt themselves getting called to step out of that ordinary and into, you know, this bright or more colorful landscape.

Dan Cohen 50:12

And then they were caught with tentacles that were kind of grabbing and wrapped around them and kept them trapped, and they were struggling against the tentacles. But of course, those kinds of forces when you struggle and pull against them, they just grip tighter, they can’t really be broken. And I felt the sadness in that, you know, time was passing and life was happening and this beauty and possibility were right there but it wasn’t being accessed.

Dan Cohen 50:42

And I felt Emily and I there with it; the message which I described is actually, there’s, you know, there’s a tool to release the tentacles. It’s an animal, and it can be whispered to, the same way you’d whisper to a horse or a dog, you can whisper to that what seems like a monster but it actually has a lot of love and emotion in it and desire and it can be worked with and it will actually release when it’s really understood and accepted and brought in as a part of being, it releases. And when it’s treated, like, just something that wants to be gotten away from that, wants to be destroyed and eliminated, it grips tighter. And I felt, you know, people in your audience, listeners, kind of struggling with that and, you know, wishing for the wisdom to be able to free themselves and to be able to, you know, step more into the possibility of their own life. That was my image.

Candice Wu 51:44

Thank you, Dan.

Emily Blefeld 51:46

For me, I had two images that came present. The first image was of I was laying in the bathtub and it was when I listened to your podcast, the first time Candice, and I had this shooting pain in my lower spine at the time and I thought is this about self-love. I had a major back injury and I was trying to heal it without surgery, or, you know, some of the Western treatments that were being recommended and I thought I’m going to tune into Candice’s is self-love podcast, and start to create some self-care practices in my life. So I was laying in the bathtub listening to one of your podcasts and trying to send self-love to my lower spine. That was the first image.

Emily Blefeld 52:33

And the second image was you right now, where you’re sitting with your mouth to the microphone, and just generations and generations and generations of women standing behind you. I felt their terror of your visibility, that you’re so visible. And then, I don’t think there’s anybody that stood behind you, who’s been more visible in the world than you and your voice is being heard, and your impact is being made and there’s a fear of your ancestors. There’s kind of a fear of what will happen, you know, will you get married? I don’t even know if you’re married. Will you get married? Will you have children? Will you live the traditional life that supposedly brings happiness and kind of a fear that you’re going to lose something in this?

Emily Blefeld 53:23

And then also this, like, tremendous pride that like you came from them, and that you’re defying all the codes and the rules and the, you know, ways of being that are kind of locked into your bones, in your blood, in your ancestry. And you’re actually bringing the gift that all of them wish they had, particularly the women. You’re bringing that gift to the world, you know, kind of distilling it from the suffering of your lineage, of women who didn’t feel a sense of self-love or wholeness, and you’re kind of wielding it into this beautiful picture of you with a sword, kind of sending it out into the world is like a beam of light and love and power. And when it touches the hearts of anybody that listens, it actually instills love into them and sends light into the darkest corners of their bodies, their pain, or they’re kind of anguish. And then I just, when I imagined that light touching each person that’s listening, I imagined all the ancestors behind them, who also struggle with self-love, being touched by your heart and your ancestors. And that’s where I came out. A product of emotion in my heart.

Candice Wu 54:39

Oh, wow. Thank you. If you could see me, you probably do see me. But if you could literally see me, I’m just in tears. I’m completely in tears. Yeah, thank you, and —

Emily Blefeld 54:53

You’re a real gift to the world. And, you know, you’re embodying and kind of mentoring and we always have this tagline, “Imagine who you could be, what you could do, and how your life would change if your inner critic, unwanted patterns, and heavy emotions lifted off your shoulders and evaporated. And there’s a way where you’ve worked those threads and are living your love and inviting everybody that’s listening to do the same. And it’s a real privilege Candice to be with you on this call and to be with your tears.

Candice Wu 55:25

Thank you. It’s —

Emily Blefeld 55:27

For all those that came before you.

Candice Wu 55:29

Yes, thank you. It’s a real honor to be in your presence, both of you and to hear this now. I feel like I’m getting my free consultation right here, right now live on the podcast.

Candice Wu 55:45

And you know, what just pushed me right to the tears was the generations and generations of women and I felt that sense of pride and love comes through. And when you spoke about the terror, I could feel that very viscerally and there isn’t one podcast that I’ve, you know, turned on the mic and started recording where I didn’t feel some version of that fear, anxiety or terror before speaking and that helps me place it even more.

Candice Wu 56:19

You know, I have my own inner critic. I work with a lot. I give a lot of love to myself for that and I keep going most days even through that and relating to that, it helps me put that even into more perspective of who’s speaking behind me when I turn the mic on. And when that gets published. So thank you very much. Just completely touched by both of you and your work, and our conversation today. And I appreciate you both.

Emily Blefeld 56:54

Thanks, Candice.

Dan Cohen 56:55

Thanks, Candice. It’s been wonderful to speak with you and to know you, and to, you know, that we’re you know, that we’re colleagues together and walking these paths together is really heartening for me, so wonderful to share this time with you and your listeners.

Emily Blefeld 57:12

And thank you to the listeners, as well, that when you press play, and say yes to self-care or self-love, and listen to these messages that you’re also working through, you know, threads of oppression that stop you from resting, from rejuvenating, from being there for yourself, and that actually just the act of listening is an active healing and of saying yes to your own life. And releasing some of those stories that hold you back. So it’s a real privilege to be with you. And thank you again, Candice, for having us on your call.

Candice Wu 57:50

Thank you so much and I echo that. Thank you to all the listeners out here and in choosing to take the time to engage with yourself in this way and consider the things that we’re saying, or let them touch you, where they do touch you and Dan and Emily, it is to me that your presence to me is quite a beautiful model of masculine feminine, not just between the two of you, but within and how you do that dance together and within yourselves and share that with the world so vulnerably.

Candice Wu 58:31

And I invite all of the listeners to see how that, what that image gives for them and what that engagement gives and to try out the consciousness call. It sounds incredible and I love that you’re doing the Constellations work right there so people can engage with it from their home or with a friend if they want to. Just to be in that space together and to listen and to allow what wants to be seen. Thank you so much. Are there any last words?

Dan Cohen 59:05

I think just, you know, we look forward to, you know, to meeting you again in the field. I can’t wait to, you know, for the chance to be together and step into the fields of consciousness with you.

Candice Wu 59:18

Likewise, thank you.

Emily Blefeld 59:19

If you’re feeling the tug of your heart to do work with us, with Candice, with any healer that — or practitioner that you know, that wants to support you and then you find yourself kind of making excuses are saying no, or stepping back or not really creating the time for taking that step in, just ask, “Who is the resistance? You know, who doesn’t want you to access that gift of your wholeness and your love? Who stops you? What patterns are alive in the lineage that is preventing you from stepping in and are actually repeating themselves in your life or your children’s lives?

Emily Blefeld 59:55

And how can you, despite the resistance in your heart, how can you step in? You know, welcome that person on your journey. Welcome that resistance to come with you. But say yes. So listen to another call. Check out our websites and step into your own, your own life and your own love. I think that’s my closing statement. Thanks so much, Candice.

Candice Wu 1:00:16

Thank you so much, Emily and Dan. I look forward to seeing you again and until then take care and much love to you both.

Emily Blefeld 1:00:24

Thanks, much love to you as well.

Dan Cohen 1:00:26

Much love, Candice.

Candice Wu 1:00:28

As we conclude the show today, I want to thank Dan and Emily for coming on the show. It’s such a pleasure to be in their presence. I just love when I’m able to connect with someone in the moment and to feel into what’s here for all of us, any messages that arise and what seems to be emerging and it’s so fun to do that.

Candice Wu 1:00:50

I encourage you if you found anything inspiring or interesting, to reach out to them or connect up with their work at seeingwithyourheart.com and find their consciousness call and see if that’s interesting for you.

Candice Wu 1:01:02

And I’d like to end today’s show with a little quote from them that really seems to hold the essence of their work and here it is: All of us, the inspired, bewildered, angry, hopeful, and unaware, hold the potential to free our hearts from the binds of ancestral entanglements. As these burdens are released. We increase our capacity to live our lives as vehicles for the manifestation of our dreams.

Candice Wu 1:01:32

Thank you so much, Dan and Emily, and thank you all out there for listening. I hope this has touched you in many ways and in ways that it has touched me. Before you go, if you’d like to stay in touch with me or receive my bi-monthly newsletter, feel free to check that out at CandiceWu.com/embody and if you’re interested in receiving more, just in time kind of meditations, self-love tips and self-care you can go to the Embody Community Facebook group. Wishing you all a really loving relationship with yourself and I’ll see you next time on the Embody Podcast.