Candice Wu 0:00

In this episode, I talk about the coherence of our nervous systems and bodies, tiny healing movements, and how they can ripple like water to create more, and looking for subtleties that are happening in our lives that give us evidence of more, of possibility, of growth, and something that can support us.

Candice Wu 0:25

Hello, and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, embodied healing, and self-love. My name is Candice Wu, and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist, sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 0:56

I recently spent an entire week with Suzi Tucker, my family constellations teacher. I haven’t done this kind of immersion for about two years now, and this time, what I deeply walked away with was just much more space in my being, and validation of the work that I’m doing and the way that I’m synthesizing family constellations with somatic experiencing, and forgiveness, self-forgiveness, and I want to invite you all to a workshop in Michigan, in my home state and home city, Rochester Hills, Michigan, on June 15, 2019, for a healing workshop that combines all of those healing modalities to reveal what’s unconscious and as to bring that into a seeing.

Candice Wu 1:53

So, in family constellations, we ask others in the room to represent parts of our either family system, parts of our issue, if we have an issue that we’re looking at, whether that’s related to career, money, love, and relationships, or just how you feel about yourself in your life, anything at all. And we ask others in the room to represent by tuning into their body, their sensation, their energy, without the mental information about what’s going on. And with that, we can literally see a picture in 3D form with our bodies in the movement of what’s going on underneath the surface.

Candice Wu 2:38

So, I invite you to check out that workshop, it’s called Being in Beauty. And that’s being in our own beauty, inside and out, and in our lives. The art or the love that you want to see in your life, the beauty, all that can be found at CandiceWu.com/bebeauty. If you’ve been to one of our workshops or retreats before, or you invite somebody and they join a new friend, you’ll receive an extra $15 off the registration and you register by June 10, there’s also an extra $10 discount.

Candice Wu 3:19

Hello, and welcome back to the show. Today, I just like to start off with tuning into our breathing and making a little space for how you’re feeling today. So, feel free to take a moment with me and tune in and notice the quality of your breath. Feel free to close your eyes if you’d like to or look down, and sense into how it is your body is feeling today. What is the state of your being? How’s your heart doing? And how is your mind doing?

Candice Wu 4:14

And I just encourage you to stay with your body throughout this conversation and be aware of your feet, your hips, stay embodied as much as you can. So, have you ever had a moment in time where someone noticed something that you were doing or something about you that seems so small to some degree or that was noticing something very subtle or nuanced? Perhaps someone noticed something that you did, and you didn’t think they noticed or they’re just aware of something about you. Maybe you don’t notice it in yourself or that seems not so valuable until they say it. Do you remember how it felt for you when that was said or noticed?

Candice Wu 5:17

So, when I first began Somatic Experiencing training and doing more work for myself on that level with those tools, one of my as a therapist noticed that my body knew exactly how to soothe myself. It was at this moment that I just very easily and naturally started rocking my body. And when they noticed this, I began to feel it more. It was like the slightest movement. But because they had noticed it and it seemed important, I realized, “Wow, it is important!” And as I felt into the rocking, I could really feel the effect of the soothing. It echoed into me a trust in my body and a trust in my instincts. And this deepened faith in my body that it knows exactly what to do.

Candice Wu 6:19

I love how in Somatic Experiencing, we’re taught to look for these tiny little healing steps. It might be just like the flush of the face, like a vein moving. I’m still learning the subtleties and what everything might mean, but there are some very skilled SE practitioners that notice even the tiniest shift that I’m still learning to develop the eyes for.

Candice Wu 6:52

So, today, I want to talk about the concept of coherence, and the subtleties of tiny healing movements, what in us shows us that we are moving more towards the wholeness that we are. It was a couple of months ago, this year, in March that I took advanced level Somatic Experiencing training, and Joshua Sylvae was my trainer this time around. And he spoke about coherence, being a very important aspect of the work, noticing coherence in our clients and in ourselves. And that seemed to drop this little pebble in the water, and I’ve been thinking about coherence since that conversation. And noticing how powerful it is to tune into notice and witness just these small moments. The moments that my eyes and my mind think are small, but to the body, to the nervous system, and to the heart and soul, they can be quite big.

Candice Wu 8:02

When I think of coherence, I think of the integration of the ability of our system or some sort of system to come together. And Google talks about coherence as the quality of being logical and consistent, as well as the quality of forming a unified whole. So, I can buy into both of those as being part of this coherence that I’m speaking up. But I would amend it in a way for our conversation, the quality of being logical and consistent. We have to look towards our bodies as symptoms or what’s happening in the body, and we think, “Oh, it doesn’t make sense, it’s not logical, and it’s not consistent with what’s happening or what should happen.” And that is a helpful tool to some degree because it’s keeping you in check with what at least you perceive as the reality. And that can be as well questioned because we’re looking from a certain lens.

Candice Wu 9:13

And I have seen myself look through that lens of, “Oh, my body is my enemy, my body is not doing the right thing. I can’t understand why I’m feeling this way, and so I shouldn’t feel this way.” And as I shifted to seeing the actual logic of the body, and of the heart, the logic that shows that perhaps the emotion I’m feeling relates to something that isn’t integrated from the past, whether that’s in our ancestry and lineage, which was pretty mind-blowing to me when I first learned about it. Or whether it’s from our soul history, if you believe in that are connected with a soul history, many lives, or our personal history, especially through our childhood, where we had less resource in our nervous system and in our lives to deal with things.

Candice Wu 10:11

So, that the symptoms, the emotions were feeling or the pain or ache in the body, or even when it gets to the level of disease. That is the adaptation of something that wants to be healed from the past. That’s the energy of some experience that’s left there and pushed its way out to the physical form so that we can look at it more concretely and it speaks loudly to us, we cannot ignore it at that point. We can, but it’s hard to ignore.

Candice Wu 10:57

I talk about the levels of our physiology, from subtle energy, and the oneness, all the way out to the physical form in the episode about the Koshas, which is the system I learned through yoga. You can find that episode at CandiceWu.com/koshas, KOSHAS. If you want to learn more about how the physical body is the last, the most manifest expression of our inner being and our energy, and our dynamics and belief sets.

Candice Wu 11:37

But let’s get back to coherence. There’s a consistency, good sense, soundness, organization, orderliness, and unity. These are some synonyms for coherence. And I liken it to when we notice the small things, the tiny pieces of coherence are aspects of it. I liken it to homeopathy. I don’t know that much about homeopathy but I’ve received it, and I’m not sure it worked for me. I really don’t know. It’s hard for me to say. But I’m willing to believe that it does work on some level. And homeopathy in a very simplified form is a treatment for the body, support for the body, minerals for the body, and all sorts of other substances using minute doses of that substance. And specifically, using minute doses of a natural substance that in a healthy person would produce some symptoms of disease.

Candice Wu 12:57

So, the homie apathy is a diluted form of that substance. And that dilution increases the potency. And when a solution is more dilute, it’s described as having a higher potency, that they’re stronger and deeper-acting. And I think about yoga, I think about the koshas, the layers of our physiology, that are subtle energy, the chakras, the meridians, prana, that’s the blueprint of our being. And it gives way, just like we talked of with the koshas, to the physical form. So, it’s the underneath, the foundation, and that subtle energy, if you’re in tune with it, you may have ways to describe it, I might describe it as the feeling that you have inside your body, a slight shift, a slight sense of weight, or lightness, or the quality of the felt sense. Sometimes a sense of color, and some people literally see color.

Candice Wu 14:06

So, whatever we describe it as, or however we name it, there’s something that’s felt inside of us that we know is there, and it’s unseen to all people, but seen by others in different forms. And it’s a feeling that we have. So, for me, it can do wonders when someone else notices the tiniest, most subtle thing that happens that brings out my coherence, that brings out where I’m supporting myself or where my body has adapted or protected in the right way. And that gives me an opening for where I want to go with it now, if I want to heal more, if I want to feel into the feeling that I have and just to run with it. And it leaves this echo effect that I don’t even have to do anything, and I already feel differently.

Candice Wu 15:09

So, that coherence where we’re in sync with our well being with our nature, with the way that our system was designed. When we noticed that on the tiniest level, our nervous system feels that validation and also takes it and runs with it. So, our healing deepens, it’s more powerful.

Candice Wu 15:34

When I took a horsemanship lesson with my teacher Sue, in Michigan with her horse, Delta, this was upon coming home from that rough and overwhelming experience in Ireland, when I was working with four horses, Sue, and just a matter of a half an hour, noticed how clear I was communicating with Delta and spoke to how natural I was in leading him. And just her little bit of honest feedback, it was only a sentence or two, that noticing resonated in my entire being and released all sorts of inner judgments that I had, that I had kept, since my experience in Ireland, that I didn’t even know I had accumulated in that situation. And perhaps they were there long before that.

Candice Wu 16:25

What most people can buy into is the sense that if we have gratitude for something, or if we notice something or appreciate it, then that usually grows. And you know, we can see this as positive reinforcement. When we notice something someone’s doing right. They’re more interested in doing more of that. And I like to not use it as a sort of managing someone or myself, or control or manipulation but more so to bring more love.

Candice Wu 17:01

I’ve noticed that mothers can be really hard on themselves, with parenting, with being the best mother they can be. And sometimes they can overlook, we can all overlook, but I see it a lot in some mothers, they can overlook what they’re doing as important, valuable, and powerful. And feel like they have to do more and more and more and it never quite fulfills itself. And I love working with mothers and babies, mothers and children. And when I brought attention to one small thing that this mother was doing, a way that her love was coming through in a subtle but powerful form, I could see a whole shift in her perspective, in her being, in her state of being, that something had changed. And that should begin to see the way that her barely doing anything at all. And just being present with her baby was the most loving thing that she could do.

Candice Wu 18:07

And in that, she began to feel more confident and proud, and gentle with herself, and less critical and less guilty. That she could see what she was actually doing for herself and her baby. So, what I noticed is that noticing just the smallest thing that’s coherent, or loving, or healing is like a ripple effect of spiritual, physical and emotional homeopathy. It then affects my entire being and shifts something in me in a powerful way that feels like that diluted form of potency. And when I notice what’s going on, that’s going well, it lets me sync up with what’s already going well and more of what’s going well, and to surrender into that to trust and let the healing happen, and reveal itself.

Candice Wu 19:02

So many times in the past, I’ve gotten in the way of my own healing, because I’ve blamed my body for doing something wrong or noticed all the wrong things, and hadn’t spent time cultivating my eyes to see what is going well.

Candice Wu 19:21

I mentioned the family constellations retreat with Suzi this last week, and it was so powerful for me that she, as the facilitator was noticing just the tiniest shift. And I saw how that gave way or sometimes synchronized with other movements in the constellation, where even two people weren’t even looking at each other, but there was a shift over here, and then there was a shift over here that was silent. But when she noticed it like when father’s gaze turned towards mother, or when someone’s spine started to lift up ever so slightly, or where someone’s shoulder softened and their breath was just a minute level of deeper, she noticed it. And when others in the room noticed it, it seemed like it affirmed to that healing was happening, it affirmed to that movement was happening.

Candice Wu 20:29

Any movement at all was something if we could notice it and be with it was something that was giving away for the next movement, and the next and the next, and all of those are what wanted to come through organically. And that’s like how it is with our nervous systems with our bodies. Suzi says, “Do we bother to look and can we look instead of not look?” And I noticed times that I might not bother to look. And whether that’s like looking at myself how I’m doing or noticing a tiny thing of shift, or noticing in my life, what’s happening that is coherent and going well, even the fact that I have a warm place to sleep. And I have food, when I want it, with that I have access to that, I have access to water. I have loving relationships, I have my family and my health, you may or may not have all those things. But just the basic things, can we look and use that as evidence that something’s going right.

Candice Wu 21:38

What is the evidence that something’s going right or that something is going well? And when I see the tree outside, that’s just bright green and flowing with the wind, and I have this moment to give myself the enjoyment of that, I feel freedom, I feel peace and a little bit of relaxation. I have the ability to feel safe right now. And if we sit and actually let that sink in, these things are not that small at all. And what happens in my body is there another shift inside? Is there any sense of a deeper safety or groundedness, present, possibility?

Candice Wu 22:22

What we appreciate also appreciates, so, it grows. Something different can happen, and it can bring an opening to the next thing and to more. I might not bother to look because seeing something new, in my perspective, it might not be new in my situation, but actually recognizing it, can disrupt the structure that I’ve calibrated my life and perspective around. It can disrupt my storyline of the way things are, it can take some work, and I might even be forced to expand. It might cause some discomfort, or painful feelings or something to come to the surface that wants to be felt.

Candice Wu 23:21

And sometimes seeing also opens up seeing a reality of something that isn’t going well, or something that’s a struggle or a suffering. And seeing what’s their square in the face gives me the opening to begin the next step. So, I’m thinking about what is getting in the way and what is not. When we get in the way of our own movement, our natural movement, or natural healing, our wellness, and power, versus when we’re in the flow with that or when we’re boosting that enhancing with our awareness. And it’s pretty simple. The linchpin to whether we’re blocking, or in the flow of that natural movement that wants to come through from the intelligence of our bodies, is our awareness. And if we can look and be with, and feel into what’s here, that allows the next movement.

Candice Wu 24:27

Sometimes when we look and sense and feel, we notice that we’re overwhelmed, and it is helpful to pause and shift out of that, to use a bit of distraction or shifting so that we can come back to it later, and feel a little more to take a bite at a time. In Somatic Experiencing that’s called Pendulation, and in other somatic modalities that might be using the polar opposites, to come to a natural healing and integration.

Candice Wu 25:00

And when it’s not overwhelming, when we can stay with the feeling, even if it’s a tension that’s really uncomfortable, we have the capacity to expand into that, rather than contract with that, then the next movement can happen. Sometimes, contraction is the thing that needs to be noticed before expansion can happen. So, it’s very flexible, it’s not a linear kind of thinking with this. But whatever is here to witness that, and to witness that and to sense into what’s needed, and to allow that. The getting in the way of ourselves and blocking ourselves is to fight against it, to resist. So, it’s just resistance or non-resistance.

Candice Wu 25:51

So, that brings up some questions. Are there places in your life right now that you’re resisting? Are there emotions that you’re fighting against? What parts of your body or your symptoms are you fighting against? I find that there’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the body in our mass culture, where we think that our body is doing us wrong if it’s feeling in pain, or having tension or having some disease or doing something we don’t want it to do, essentially.

Candice Wu 26:34

And this understanding is, that where the body is showing us this physical symptom, we think that there’s no logic to it, there’s no coherence, that we’re suffering with it, and it’s fighting against us. But if we follow the pathway that the body is giving us to show us what’s underneath that, what’s core to the heart and soul, and what this physical expression emerged from. My yoga teacher says that if there isn’t a spiritual place for disease, there won’t be a physical one. And it’s not a way to blame yourself, like, “Oh, it’s my fault.” But it’s a way in for healing, it’s a way into the healing. And it might not make sense to this lifetime, it might only make sense through the lifetimes behind you, that life flows to you through your lineage, or past life, as I mentioned before.

Candice Wu 27:38

But there is some logic to the way that the body is showing you a symptom. And that symptom is the way we can backtrack, it’s a place marker for what the body wants to show us, the message and the attention that the body and the heart once, so that we can get to that piece of our experience that wants to be seen.

Candice Wu 28:07

When we talk about homeopathy or other holistic practices, it treats the person as one whole, and cohesive being, rather than focusing on the diseased part or what symptom is there, and isolating that. And so, our system is very vast. And it is connected with our experience and how we feel, and what’s integrated and what’s not. In family constellations, I’ve seen over and over and over and every single constellation where someone and many people in the room that are representing a family system, and the client themselves, whether they’re witnessing or in the constellation are feeling a physical component of what’s going on in the situation.

Candice Wu 29:02

That might be a fiscal turning away from and crossing the arms, which might be very representative of how the person shows up in their lives. As a state of being, it might be suddenly a representative that’s perfectly healthy, as a flood of tears, and their stomach hurts. Or it might be someone reports that they feel heartbreak, this huge pain in their heart because there’s a baby that they lost, or someone missing in the family.

Candice Wu 29:42

One client, I had mentioned that they had stomach ulcers, and it was rampant in the family. And as we constellated this, there was exactly as she said, ulcers, ulcers, ulcers in every mother in this line of the family, going four generations back at least. And that fourth generation back, it was something extremely painful that happened, I can’t remember what it was, but it was something hard to digest that involved losing people. And as the entire system slowly was able to look at that huge loss, each of those mothers that had the stomach ulcers started to feel a shift at their own pace. And by the end of it, which is maybe only minutes later, everyone was feeling good. And their stomach wasn’t hurting anymore, and the client started feeling a shift in themselves, too.

Candice Wu 30:49

So, in family constellations, we see a direct occurrence with the physical symptom and the emotional experience that’s happening. And when we look towards what is not looked at yet, not integrated yet, that physical and emotional experience starts to dissolve and peace and love flows again.

Candice Wu 31:19

So, we’ve all heard that good things come in small packages, and that does happen in healing and transformation, and just being in our well being. Noticing the tiny things in our coherence, noticing that small healing step or sign can make a big difference.

Candice Wu 31:41

I put together a list of some of, not all, of important shifts that you can start to notice in your body and your healing process, and this can boost your healing. And that can also be found in a blog post, and I’ll link that to the show notes here. But if you notice, like a spontaneous breath, like suddenly your breath goes, “Haaaah”, or it goes deeper in the body, or is fuller than the last one. If there’s even a little movement in your body, if you follow that, allow that, that might unfold into more. Or something that shows that you’re soothing yourself or protecting yourself.

Candice Wu 32:24

Sometimes, we just put our hand on our heart when we’re feeling something very deep or painful. And to notice that you’re able to do that, your body naturally knows how to do that, can support even more. If there’s an expansion in the visual field in your eyes that you’re able to see more or see more vividly, seeing your periphery, that there’s more clarity in your vision and your eyes are more effortless seeing, when there’s a settling and even a tiny part of the body or a feeling of lightness and expansion, a pleasant feeling in the body, even if it’s feeling neutral or it may be feeling more grounded, your heels coming towards the ground, your body settling.

Candice Wu 33:26

You can also look for digestion coming back online, gurgling sounds or sounds in your stomach burping. Feeling of movement in the gut, even farting. That says that the nervous system is coming out of fight and flight or freeze, and back into safety. Maybe there’s more saliva, or you’re feeling thirsty or hungry, or that you need to go to the bathroom. You might have better hearing or clear ability to hear sound or you’re more restful, yet still alert. You’re able to hear things, but you don’t feel hypervigilant, just a shift in that. Or it’s seeing more resource, seeing more of what’s going well, having openness to imagine more possibility, or seeing the positive in a situation, a feeling of gratitude, the ability to see someone loving in your life or a positive memory.

Candice Wu 34:37

And you might notice more capacity, the ability to turn towards or think about imagine the scary thing, or challenging thing that was previously triggering you, and the ability to look and feel differently. These are just some of the things that you can look out for in your healing process, or in your life, where you can have that capacity or something is shifting like that. And to go even broader to notice the coherence in your life, notice where things are going well.

Candice Wu 35:16

Even the small things. Do you brush your teeth in the morning? Is that something you do for you, for the health of your teeth and your body? And to allow yourself that, noticing that you are willing to look out for yourself or you are able to take care of yourself. And to let that inform the next thing that you want for yourself. Even noticing that you have a desire for your health, that you want to be healthy. That’s a coherence. The desire for well-being shows that something’s going right, because you want to take care of yourself.

Candice Wu 36:02

One of the biggest pieces of evidence that something went right in your family lineage is that you exist. You’re alive. And all these things had to happen to keep you alive. And for you to even be birthed. And so many things went right.

Candice Wu 36:23

You are clear evidence of life. And this is not to be overlooked. So, what and can you notice, that which is going right? Can you notice the life that you have and where it came from? Can you notice the small things you do for yourself or others? What are the ways that your body naturally supports you? Other ways that you reach towards yourself or soothe yourself? Are there ways that your awareness supports you? Where are you loving yourself? And what are the places that you’re doing things right?

Candice Wu 37:27

And as you invite yourself to look at these things, instead of not look, as Susie says, “What smaller things do notice.” If you spent a day opening to this idea that there are subtle things that you do or things that happen. that if noticed can create a powerful shift in your being, what would happen? For me, I have felt a deepening in my presence, more safety, more slowness that helps me experience life. The pace that actually is my flow. And I feel like I am enough. I feel like I’m able to see more, and I have more abundance than I knew, and I am more abundant than I knew. And as I noticed more and more that just adds even more richness to that feeling.

Candice Wu 38:38

When I see a ladybug, like a tiny little ladybug, the tinier they are, I get so excited. And is there anything that makes you have that feeling like, “Oh, this tiny little thing, wow!” This reminds me there’s this incredible artist. I used to be an art teacher and I loved sharing just innovative artwork, this artist Willard Wigan, who creates artwork inside the eye of a needle.

Candice Wu 39:09

So, if you think about the size of a needle and thread, you know, when you’re threading a needle, it’s so hard to even get that thread in there. He creates artwork that fits right inside of that, and it’s amazing, like he has the entire Obama family in one of them. It can fit like, gosh, like seven superhero figures or the man on the moon with the flag image, cinderella. It’s amazing what he fits inside that tiny little thing. And of course, we have to look through a magnifying glass to see it.

Candice Wu 39:44

And the interesting thing is, and I’ll link this in the show notes, some photographs of his work, and this video that talks about his process and how it is. He says it’s incredibly painstaking, and it, he hates, in a way he doesn’t like creating it, it’s just so much more. And if he sneezes, it all just disappears. But that he loves, when people are amazed by the work when they see this tiny little thing he’s created and the amount of work that’s gone into it. And when they’re just blown away by that, he gets so much satisfaction.

Candice Wu 40:19

And so, when we notice something, and when we are noticed, we have the ability to notice something in ourselves. It can be so powerful and motivate us, inspire us and open up so much more. So, I encourage you to look at his artwork, and enjoy that. And to think of just this, you know, the tiny little ladybug that I’m in awe of when I see it. That just little things, we want to see little things that give us the inspiration that something big could happen. And it’s an interesting polarity, we need the tiny things to feel the big ones.

Candice Wu 40:57

I’m not sure where I’m going with that something and we thought that was a good idea to say, maybe you all have some continuation of that idea, but the tiny things. So, I invite you to see those tiny things in your life. And see what effect that has on you, in your well being and yourself, and your confidence or your healing journey.

Candice Wu 41:22

I’m so appreciative that you’re here and listening. Thank you so much for your support and for receiving me. If this is your first time here or you’re not yet connected with my newsletter and would like to be, feel free to join at CandiceWu.com/embody. And that newsletter comes out every other week, where you’ll receive updates about the podcasts and the healing experientials, and guided meditations that come up on the podcast, as well as updates about upcoming workshops and retreats.

Candice Wu 41:56

And also just want to remind you of that workshop that’s coming up in Michigan on June 15, and every bit of feedback that I receive makes a difference to me, as well as every single dollar that’s contributed on my Patreon page. You can find that info at CandiceWu.com/patreon.

Candice Wu 42:18

I’m so glad that you’re here. Thank you and I wish you well until next time