Candice Wu 0:00

Welcome to the Embody Podcast, this is Candice Wu, and today I share an intimate and enriching conversation with one of my dear friends, Rachael Huttner, who is a Thai bodyworker and a Reiki practitioner.

Candice Wu 0:04

In this podcast, Rachael and I talked about how basketball-inspired her Thai bodywork, the importance of tribe and teamwork, how to be in touch with synchronicity, and nurturing and valuing intuition and spirit guides. She shares about one of my favorite quotes, be faithful to that which exists nowhere, but within yourself by André Gide. And without further ado, enjoy this conversation with Rachael.

Candice Wu 0:38

Hey, Rachael.

Rachael Huttner 0:39

Hey, how’s it going?

Candice Wu 0:41

Good. How are you doing?

Rachael Huttner 0:42

Really good.

Candice Wu 0:43

Welcome to the show. Thanks for coming.

Rachael Huttner 0:45

Yeah, I’m really glad that we’re doing this, when I heard you were doing a podcast, I was very excited. So I’m glad it’s happening right now for us.

Candice Wu 0:54

So, Rachael, we’re going to talk about your Thai bodywork and Reiki, could you tell us a bit about how you got here.

Rachael Huttner 1:00

Yeah, sure. So I started off as an athlete, I played basketball for, well most of my life, I started off on teams when I think I was five years old, and I was playing through community college. So I played until I was about 20 or 21, and it was a sport that I love dearly. And I learned, I still love, but I learned so many tools just even from that time of my life, I learned commitment and focus, teamwork. My focus is a really important one for me, if I didn’t have that experience on the court, I don’t know where I’d be right now but I love the game a lot. And I had this back injury when I was 16 years old and so it just never got better, and things started getting worse. And by the time I was 20, I had to have back surgery. And from there, I just, I never really recovered from the surgery. I spent the next decade or so in some sort of pain or discomfort. I was still throwing my back out. I felt like I was always one awkward movement away from like, being injured.

Rachael Huttner 2:12

And finally, when I was 27, I had thrown my back out again and this time, it was really, really bad. And I thought I was on the path to having surgery again, but a friend of mine, very loving friend, intervened and she found this place that did sliding scale acupuncture. And that was my first glimpse and treatment into holistic modalities. And I also think it’s no coincidence that once I started addressing the emotional and mental component, spiritual as well, I think that I really started to heal and acupuncture gives space for that. I mean, it uses everything, all the resources that are there and that are present.

Rachael Huttner 2:53

And so that was the starting point, from there, I dabbled or I sought out many different modalities, I feel like I tried everything I tried, Yoga to Qi-Gong, Reiki. I tried a type of therapy called bone setting that also follows Chinese medicine. And everything I did just added to my health, it added to my well being and it added to my back becoming stronger. And ultimately it was actually the bone setting that really helped and that brought everything together, and that made me stronger like, to say it really healed my back.

Rachael Huttner 3:33

And so when I got to this point, I realized, when I realized before this, but I realized that I wanted to partake, and I wanted to share this knowledge that I had in healing but also in healing from a holistic approach. And so it was just a matter of finding the right fit for me. And I, at first maybe I thought it was Yoga, I looked at some places for acupuncture and ultimately it was the Thai bodywork, the movement of the Thai bodywork that I really resonated with. And the Thai bodywork and the Reiki combined became this vessel, that I was able to echo the same compassionate care that I received from all the practitioners that I met along the way. And that is something I remind myself of almost every session was, you know, the care that I had from these practitioners when I was very vulnerable, and in a lot of pain, and also very depressed. And so I’m very fortunate now that I feel like I’m able to kind of embody that compassionate care, they might work.

Candice Wu 4:42

I know firsthand that you truly do embody that and I’m glad that you had that kind of love through all of the different practitioners.

Rachael Huttner 4:55

Yeah, I really hold very dearly in my heart, everyone that’s helped me along the way. And you know, it began at Sage community health care, which, unfortunately, is no longer but I still see my acupuncturist, Isabel, she’s a huge part of my healing, my Reiki practitioner and teacher, Nicole Perez and you as well, you really helped me in my healing process. So, I cherish that —

Candice Wu 4:55

I didn’t see that coming, I really appreciate it. I mean, it bubbled upright, it came up.

Rachael Huttner 4:55

But do you know the compassion and care that you showed me when you’re just, when someone’s hurting and painful, and it’s something that I have immense gratitude for everyone that’s helped me?

Candice Wu 5:42

Thank you, teamwork has been one of the biggest things that you talk about, teamwork and community. And I’m wondering what your vision for the world is?

Rachael Huttner 5:54

Yeah, you know me very well and I feel like I can’t stop talking about, I’m almost like, thinking you’re like, okay, like, yes, like, you’re driving at home.

Rachael Huttner 6:10

So, I think that to me, when I think of teamwork, I always think about, like tribe and I think about working together. And I think about this very important component in our lives that’s missing, and it’s to our detriment.

Rachael Huttner 6:27

So, you know, we talked about sometimes when we talk about symptoms of our culture that, you know, people are isolated, or living in isolation, or don’t, you know, there’s a lack of community, I know, these are very broad picture I’m painting, but even anything from, you know, I worked with different populations growing up, and I worked with adults with developmental disabilities. And I feel like, when you look at our underserved populations, like adults with DD, or even when you look at nursing homes and people who are aging, I feel like you could see it there that being isolated, is not good for mental and emotional health. It’s most apparent there, right? But then I think it’s also, we feel symptoms of it in our daily lives, right? So whether it’s, you know, maybe like, these feelings of, maybe being depressed or little listless. Yes, I think there’s could be a good number of causes for that. But, I really feel like when we have a unit, and when we have a tribe, and we have a team, or we have a community, I feel like you have all these other people that could help you and share in what you’re feeling and it’s too much to burden one person without yourself or one other person without your partner.

Rachael Huttner 7:59

It’s so hard to navigate, especially, you know, what’s happening in society around us right now, it’s so hard to navigate these things on our own, or with just one other person for support, that is like, loading a lot. It’s handling a lot. And so you know, I think about, again, I’m probably going to reference basketball a lot here. I think about basketball. I think about having 10 or 11 other women, you know, on my team, and I think about messing up or I think about like, you know, kind of screwing up on the court a little bit. And if I hang my head, this is the beauty of this sport, or, you know, team sports in general. If I hang my head, and I’m down on myself, I literally have half the team coming up to me and saying shake it off, don’t worry about it. Like, you could do it, like, let’s go, you know. So I really think that that is like a microcosm for the communities that were missing out on and the support that I feel like we really need at a very basic level.

Candice Wu 9:07

That seems so important and I know how important is in my life, I thought of a couple of things reaching out. But you are referencing people reaching out to you versus if you’re struggling to reach out to them. So I’m just noticing that and also, what do you recommend for people to even make a small step on that?

Rachael Huttner 9:28

Yeah, I think that’s a really good observation. And I almost think it’s, there are two different ways of thinking happening there. Okay. So if I’m having a hard time, and I’m by myself, I can certainly reach out but that’s very, I have to be very proactive about that. And I feel like there’s a lot of obstacles that could get in the way for me reaching out.

Rachael Huttner 9:52

And I think we might know some of those obstacles, like, I don’t want to burden this person, or maybe I can get through it on my own. Right, because that’s also a certain way of thinking that is opposite from teamwork, if we had that in place already, as opposed to this different type of thinking, where you maybe know someone is having a hard time, or typically has a hard time, I mean, we’re in the throws of winter right now. And we just, there’s about a foot of snow on the ground, at least. And I feel like a lot of people are experiencing winter blues are getting kind of stir crazy. And that happens to us every year in Chicago.

Rachael Huttner 10:38

So, you know, I know that the people that in my life that are maybe solo or maybe have a tougher time around this year, I know that I reach out and just say, Hey, what’s up? How are you feeling? And I think that’s just one example, or at least a small way of what you can do or how to enact, you know, community and teamwork on a very basic level.

Rachael Huttner 11:05

I think on a bigger level, I’m also a big advocate for volunteering. So I think that’s super important. I think it’s a huge shift in thinking and mentality when you could consistently offer your time to people that are in need. And, again, the benefits of living in the city is that there are so many organizations out here and so many nonprofits that are helping different underserved populations. So whether it is treating those without homes, or again, it being winter, and especially tough time for people who don’t have homes, doing a coat drive, the church I go to in particular we did around the holidays, we did I think we stuffed stockings, that’s what it was. But we just had so many supplies, anything from like hand warmers to toothbrushes, toothpaste, journals, a deck of cards, stuff like that.

Rachael Huttner 11:55

So I think volunteering is another way that you could be in this environment and teamwork community atmosphere. And I feel like it really changes your perspective, slowly. I really feel like it does, you walk away from that experience and then you get another perspective. And yes, what other people are going through. But then you also see that maybe you encounter the same qualities in your friends or your family that need a little support and that need to be nurtured. It really is a shift and it’s very subtle. But I think through volunteering and through reaching out in these small ways that they definitely start to occur, and they start to reshape and reframe the world for you.

Candice Wu 12:42

So I’m curious, Rachael, how do you work with or respond to when people, when you do ask, how are you doing? Like when you reach out? And they’re just like, Yeah, good. Fine. Life is good.

Rachael Huttner 12:57

Yeah, this is interesting and I’m coming across it now that I’m developing my own practice. So my practice of bodywork and Reiki are, I’ve been doing it maybe for about six months, but I’m officially putting together a practice. So it’s still developing. And as that happens, there’s, it’s sort of like you, there’s a step back that you take, and I think that’s good. I think you take a step back and as someone who is used to interacting with components at a spiritual level, emotional level, you find that that’s code for something? Right?

Candice Wu 13:39

Yes.

Candice Wu 13:40

So what do you find this code for? I mean, obviously, it’s different with every person. But what does that read to you?

Rachael Huttner 13:48

I think it almost says proceed with caution. I think it says like, okay, maybe things are not so great and I think it’s my job to pick up on the subtleties of what they’re willing to reveal and what they’re not willing to reveal. And also, what I can inquire about, and I think it’s a fine line, you know, I don’t want to be too pushy, of course, because then that pushes people away. But I also think that’s kind of compliments, Reiki and the subtleties of working with energy, because you work with energy during Reiki and then also, I would work with that in this instance, too. And I would pick up on it and intuitively decipher, you know, kind of case by case. Can I push? No? Okay. I’ll wait for them, you know, or maybe I can push a little bit. So, —

Candice Wu 14:45

It’s so respectful and it’s also so sensitive, like tuning in, and you told me a quote the other day, do you remember it?

Rachael Huttner 14:53

Yes, I did.

Rachael Huttner 14:55

So I’m a big fan. I’m going to plug people left and right, because I think that’s really important to do. I’m a really big fan of Rick Hansen. He is a psychologist. I mean, I think, I know he studied many things but he has a knack for bringing together the psychology of the mind, along with mindfulness, Buddhism. And I know he’s studied both extensively. So he puts out a weekly newsletter that I highly recommend. It’s transformative every time I read this, it really puts a very grounded spin on mindfulness but so much more. It’s called, Just One Thing. So that’s his newsletter, I highly recommend. I think it said he collaborates with other people. But it’s called the Wise Brain Bulletin, there we go, and that comes out, I think quarterly.

Rachael Huttner 15:53

So it was in the Wise Brain Bulletin and it was the story that the psychologist had written, this therapist had written about trying to find common ground and trying to make a breakthrough with this mom and this daughter who were experiencing grief. I remember the fuller story. So it was quite apparent that the daughter, the younger daughter, was feeling a lot of grief and it was coming out in different ways for her, sleepless nights, maybe tantrums and the mom didn’t want to look at it. And the anchor, the hook to that story is that the therapist saw what was happening quite clearly, she knew that this needed attention, that the passing of someone needed attention in order for this to be resolved. But when she started pushing on it, the mom withdrew and this relationship of trust was not broken, but it was compromised.

Rachael Huttner 16:50

And so she went to her superior, the therapist didn’t and she told them, she told the superior the story, and very wise words, very simple, was that: “the right word at the wrong time, are the wrong words”. And I just, I love that because we often, I feel like, we have this feeling where we want what’s best for someone else but we sometimes are willing to overlook their cues in order to put that out there. And I think that could be maybe a little harmful —

Candice Wu 17:15

Then it becomes more about ourselves than about supporting the other person in the right way.

Rachael Huttner 17:19

Yeah, exactly.

Candice Wu 17:19

Yeah, that just hits the spot.

Rachael Huttner 17:21

Yeah. And I do think there’s an aspect of teamwork in that too, I really do, you know. It’s picking up on these subtleties, and really working together because they both have the same goal, you know, in that story, right? They both have the same goal, to like get better or for the daughter to feel better. And also, in any kind of holistic work that we’re doing, we both have that same goal. And on the basketball court, you want to win the game and you’re working together, playing off each other’s strengths in order to do that. So again, I see the similarities, they’re pretty apparent. Yeah, pretty obvious.

Candice Wu 17:53

I love how you’re tying basketball into everything. It’s just so exciting.

Rachael Huttner 17:55

Just you wait, it’s like the tip of the iceberg.

Candice Wu 18:01

So, Rachael, I know you pretty well and one of the things I admire most about you is how in touch with synchronicity you are. What’s going on with synchronicity down for you?

Rachael Huttner 18:11

Okay, so, I love synchronicity. No kidding.

Rachael Huttner 18:17

I love synchronicity. So synchronicity to me is this occurrence where things just fall in line. Things are, it’s like the universe is acknowledging you and it’s kind of winking at you. You know, like, yeah, I see you.

Candice Wu 18:33

I love that. Then, I’m getting winked at a lot.

Rachael Huttner 18:38

That’s great.

Rachael Huttner 18:38

So I think we’ve all had this experience, maybe wanting a different job, or maybe wanting to move or making this big decision. It doesn’t have to be big. But I think that’s where we see it more, making this big decision for ourselves and feeling like you don’t know where to start or you’re hesitant, or you’re just not sure, you don’t think it’s going to work out. And then all of a sudden, certain things line up, they start falling into place and it feels very special. So this is one of the reasons why I’m so hyped up on synchronicity because it does feel really special. It’s a feeling that I don’t think you can really compare to anything else and I’m trying to think of specific examples. Well, let’s come back there in a minute. But I also think, I also really value synchronicity when it happens, because it’s a way of receiving help. So it’s a way of not having to do everything yourself. Teamwork again.

Candice Wu 19:33

Oh, my gosh,

Rachael Huttner 19:35

Teamwork with the universe.

Candice Wu 19:36

Exactly. good point. Oh, my gosh.

Rachael Huttner 19:40

And another reason why I like it so much is that it is nonlinear to me. So I think we have this perception that in order to accomplish something, you have to be all in, and you have to constantly be working towards it.

Candice Wu 19:50

In like one direction.

Rachael Huttner 19:51

In one direction, right. And I feel like, with synchronicity, it’s more about the intention. So I feel like he put the intention out there wholeheartedly and I feel like the pieces slowly start falling one by one in your path in different ways. You know, I still think it does take some effort on your part, of course. But I think that when things start to line up, it’s like giving you a boost and it’s just showing you that you don’t have to do everything by yourself. You don’t have to exert so much effort. And it’s almost saying like, yeah, this is, keep going, this is where you’re supposed to go. You know, because if you’re getting that boost, and you’re getting that support.

Candice Wu 20:25

There are definitely times where I feel like I’m pushing, and I’m, like reaching, like grasping, and I can’t see the synchronicities. I can’t receive them. Are there? Do you relate to that in other ways that you allow that synchronicity to be seen?

Rachael Huttner 20:38

Yeah, there are, especially right now, because I’m working on a website, and anything having to do with computers always typically is very daunting me, for better for worse and I’m finding I’m having a lot of challenges. And it is a feeling of working really hard. It’s this feeling, it happens when you’re working really hard, and you’re getting somewhere, you’re not getting very far. So it’s like the amount of effort that you’re putting into it is very disproportionate to like, how much you’re actually like, progressing. And so I find when that happens, yeah, it’s very heavy feeling I found that happens, taking a step back is really helpful. Again, I think this is a nonlinear way of thinking which I really value. So I think taking a step back, you know, doing something that’s nurturing, doing something that you like, getting out of that headspace for a moment.

Rachael Huttner 22:56

And I do feel like in those instances, there’s always a pull like, you could, if you sit with it for a moment, there’s always like, okay, what’s next? What can I do next? It whether it be calling up your mom, maybe right? Or go visiting your grandmother, or maybe none of that, maybe just making a really nice dinner. And I feel like it’s in that taking a step back that really, you’re able to see the fuller picture of what you’re working on. But also, I think that you still get answers, but in different ways.

Rachael Huttner 23:29

And I find, personally, I find that happens a lot with you, between the two of us. I feel like if our heads down, and we’re working on something diligently, and it’s just not coming together, and you know, you and I interact, I find that we’re able to pick up on what it is that’s holding us back, and then everything opens up in a different way and things become a lot easier, because we’re seeing something from a different perspective, and we’re kind of shifting out of wherever it was that we were stuck. Because that’s what we’re feeling when we’re not getting very far and we’re working hard. We’re stuck.

Candice Wu 24:05

Yeah, I’m really appreciating with you, you know, as a good friend of mine, that we’re able to what we’ve grown in this, but now we’re able to say some uncomfortable things to each other, you know, how we feel about certain things that have blocked us from connection in the past. But yeah, I know what you’re saying when you say that if we just sit with it together, we’ve come to some other place, we’ve created something new, or we’ve revealed something that’s truly there.

Rachael Huttner 24:35

Yeah, no, I think you’re spot on. Yeah. And it could be — Yeah, it’s, again, it’s in taking that step back that I feel like, we’re actually, we’re getting where we want but just in a different way and then we’re able to utilize that momentum in the projects that we’re creating.

Candice Wu 24:54

Yeah, you’ve always reminded me of that, taking a step back, and just resetting or doing something different, to change up the energy of it, and then revisiting.

Rachael Huttner 25:03

If I could quote Rick Hansen. He does, he says changing the channel and I love that analogy, just changing the channel, just taking a step back doing something different.

Candice Wu 25:13

I can’t tell you how many times in Chicago, as I’m just riding around or walking around and I was thinking about you and thinking I should tell you something or like discuss an idea with you and there you are and I scream, Rachael! Or, I hear from behind me, something like, hey stranger or I know you. And it’s you. And to me, that’s very synchronous, it happens more with you than anyone else I know — I think. But I know you have just a treasure chest full of synchronicity stories. What’s one of them that you’d like to share today?

Rachael Huttner 25:55

Yeah, there’s definitely a lot. And before I share, I think the more we speak to it, I think the more it happens. And so that’s, I think it’s great that we’re talking about this right now. Because it is such a wonderful thing when things lines line up and I feel like the more you notice it, the more it’s going to happen for you. And it’s just like this extra support that you have.

Rachael Huttner 26:20

So, this one story in particular that I’m thinking about is, it’s early on in my studies for bodywork and I was hired by, there’s a university in Evanston, Northwestern, and they have Thai club. And they were putting on this event and they wanted someone to do Thai bodywork and that was going to be me. And I wanted to make sure that everything who went to this event, because it was the first of the kind that I was doing and again, it’s early on in my study, so I’m a little bit nervous and I just want to make sure that everything is lined up. So by the time I get there, I could just focus on the bodywork and just make it a success.

Rachael Huttner 27:07

So it turns out that, you know, I ride my bike everywhere so I have to travel to get up there and the first place I go to is my studio. So I go to the place where I’m taking classes, and I’m going to go there, I ride my bike there and from there, I’m going to transfer a mat to the school, and that’s where I’m going to do the work on. But something interesting happens, I find out my credit card is not working. So it’s on the weekend and I don’t have any money. And I find this out right before I leave to go up to Evanston and now I’m panicking.

Rachael Huttner 27:49

It’s so funny how I wanted everything to go smoothly and I have one hiccup and I’m in panic mode, full out panic mode. And I’m calling up different people, I’m asking my roommate for money. I’m trying to find out how I could get, you know, cash in order to be able to go up to the school. And so finally, what I do is I end up borrowing some money, I ride my bike up to the school and I get there so I could grab the mat and my teachers there, and I didn’t know he’s going to be there but he’s there. So I talked to him for a minute and I say, Okay, I’m going call a cab now. And he goes, Oh, you know what? Why don’t I get you a lift? And I’m like, okay, I mean, I’ll pay you back, you know, next week? And he goes, No, it’s like, no, don’t worry about it. And so I’m like, Okay, wow.

Rachael Huttner 28:43

And, to me, I was kind of like, that’s funny. I went through all this work to get a little bit of cash. And I got, you know, he’s willing to pay for my ride. So I kind of didn’t have to worry about it. Of course, there’s after the event and I still have to bring the mat back to the studio. So the event goes well, and it’s about three hours long and afterward, I’m outside with this mat and I call a cab.

Rachael Huttner 29:09

I have to pay for a cab, right. So finally, I have to wait for a little bit, a cab pulls up and it’s a van, put the mat in, start talking to the driver and make a little chit chat. We don’t have very far to go. So he pulls up to the school and I give him a 20. And I asked for change back, you know, ask for the change back and he kind of looks at me. He’s like, you don’t have anything else and I go for my wallet because of course I had my card but I’m like, Oh my god, the card’s declined. I really don’t have anything else right now. And so I’m like, Oh my gosh, no, I’m sorry. And he looks at me, and he goes, alright, don’t worry about it.

Rachael Huttner 29:26

And I sat there stunned. I felt like time — I really felt like time stopped. And I was just kind of like, wait a minute, this does not compute right now. So to me, it was just kind of showing me that, I went through, again, panic mode. That was a little unnecessary. And I was being shown that I was being supported, specifically with doing the bodywork and that’s why it just feels so special because things lined up. It lined up once and I feel like you could be like, okay, cool, right? No, yeah, that’s nice cool. But then it happened the second time. And there’s this feeling of like, Well, okay, I’m listening. This is what I’m doing. And it just seemed very special.

Candice Wu 30:40

Wow. I don’t even know what to say. Because I know I’ve been in those situations too, where I’m like freaking out, and then something happens and you get that message. At least that’s the message I got as well, like, it’s going to be supported, no matter what you think it is. But then again, plenty of people feel that they’re not being supported. And I’m wondering if you have any thoughts about that?

Rachael Huttner 31:09

Yeah, I know. It’s tough to navigate because of course, I’ve thought about that too. And there’s a sense of, I’m going to say being open to it and I know that could be a little bit loaded, right? Because I know some people might say, well, I am open to it or wait, what makes me not open to it or you know, whatever. But there’s a sense of wanting to maybe receive the help that I think could be a factor I actually haven’t thought about it to a, you know, a bigger extent. I think maybe I could talk about speaking to it, the more I noticed, I once had like a synchronicity journal and I wrote down everything, every time things lined up. And I just felt like it was happening more often and I felt like, I was like speaking to it, having a conversation with it, noticing it. And then you see really how your world can be shaped by this. And I almost feel like that goes for anything. But I think it is a matter of intent, power of intent and being open.

Candice Wu 32:15

Yeah, I agree with you. I feel like there’s something about trust. But that’s not always easy to do. But there’s something about trust in the moments where you’re not sure if the right thing is going to happen. or you’re not, you desire something but, you know, let me just rewind a moment. It’s sort of like when you’re really wanting something to happen. If you can just trust that the best thing will happen and release the pressure around wanting that one thing, then maybe something different can happen. Do you find that?

Rachael Huttner 32:59

I think you totally nailed it!

Candice Wu 33:00

I wasn’t quite sure what I was saying until it came out.

Rachael Huttner 33:06

No, I think that’s perfect. I think, yeah, incorporates a lot of things that we’ve been talking about taking a step back and kind of releasing it. I mean, trust is a huge word and I’m glad you said that. Because I feel like it was something that I didn’t outwardly say. But I think it’s something that’s very important into the equation.

Candice Wu 33:25

And then it is also about trust on many levels, like trust in myself that I can handle it if it goes the other way, or it goes a different way than I’m expecting, trust that if it’s devastating, I might be able to handle it. But that’s taken years to develop.

Rachael Huttner 33:40

Yeah, it has. And as you’re saying that, I’m reminded of my inner kind of brain chatter, inner thinking of what happens in these moments where, maybe I’m clinging too much to a certain outcome and I say to myself, it’s almost as though you’re taking actions that you feel like in your heart are for your highest good.

Rachael Huttner 33:59

And I feel like as long as you could stick to that road, or as long as you’re checking in with yourself and making those decisions, then I feel like that’s what lets things unfold. So it’s not always going to be a straight line from A to B. And it’s not always going to be — I have to accomplish this now in this amount of time. But it might be if you have a high value on community, if you have a high value on taking care of people, it might be my days really hectic, I have all this stuff to do. But I know that you know my neighbor is sick or my friend is sick and if that’s what you value, you go help your friend out.

Rachael Huttner 34:36

And I really feel like it’s in those moments that things actually come together for you in a different way. Because you’re still following through with what is in your highest good, but maybe not necessarily what was directly in your vision that you wanted to accomplish for yourself specifically. I don’t know if that really makes sense but I think there’s something to that when synchronicity happens.

Candice Wu 34:59

I think it does make sense that you’re staying connected with what you most value and what you most find important in life even if some of the periphery things seem semi-important. But you’re sticking with the core of who you are. Is that what you’re saying?

Rachael Huttner 35:16

Yeah, I hope that’s clear. But you’re right, it is something with the values. I think that was important that you said that, that you’re following through what you value. And I do think that’s another way of saying you’re kind of being faithful to your own path, and you’re trusting that.

Candice Wu 35:32

So I’m dying to know now, just from the tail end of this conversation, what do you feel like life is about?

Rachael Huttner 35:40

Oh, boy.

Candice Wu 35:42

I know, it’s a big question.

Rachael Huttner 35:44

I’m really big into the conversations with God trilogy and one of the messages that are in that series that comes up over and over again is to create the grandest vision of the greatest version that you’ve ever had for yourself.

Rachael Huttner 36:01

I know that’s big and I know that’s a lot. But to me, it’s constantly creating the next kind of best thing that you want for yourself and making that real and putting it out there and making it known. And I think there’s another quote that I really like and it’s: “Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but within yourself.” And I feel like that’s, to me, the seed for creating that, because I feel like we all have these, you know, we all have a passion. We all want hopefully to make the world a better place and to help those around us in some way. I know sometimes that help itself can be a little misguided, the action. But I do think that if we listen to what’s inside and we listen to that, that drive and that voice, and give it life that we’re going to put our own kind of signature on making things better for one another.

Candice Wu 36:23

I love that quote and I saw that written on your board.

Candice Wu 37:11

Maybe switch gears for a moment, maybe not, in the grand scheme of things. But what are you finding a struggle with at the moment? Whether that’s in your life or in your practice.

Rachael Huttner 37:25

Yeah, no, I think this is a good transition because ironically, one of the things that I’m really struggling with, or at least I feel like I’m in the midst of getting over is this notion of being an authority on something.

Rachael Huttner 37:44

So, I really value things like intuition. I really value stillness, meditation and I think through these, you know, these channels we’re able to get a lot of insight and insight into, you know, your life respectively, but also insight to maybe situations that are going around outside of you with other people. And this insight has a lot of value and I think is very important. But I think for a really long time, I didn’t give it much value because I thought that I wasn’t an expert in it.

Rachael Huttner 38:27

So whatever would come up for me whether it was a problem that I was working on or advice that I wanted to give someone or wanting to even make a blog and talk about, you know, different modalities I dabbled in, I knew I wasn’t an expert in those things and that really deterred me for a really long time putting myself out there. And that was a real challenge and a real struggle. And I think once I learned that the insight that I glean from being still and meditating, once I learned that that had real value, and was needing a voice, I think I finally after a very long time in a very hard struggle began to give it a voice and I think that is through my practice with bodywork and Reiki.

Candice Wu 39:19

Wow, thank you for sharing that.

Candice Wu 39:22

How did you begin to know that you had value there? Like, how did you begin to feel that what you had in you was valuable?

Rachael Huttner 39:35

Yes, that’s a tough question. I can feel, I could feel like a little freaked out by that question.

Rachael Huttner 39:49

I think I knew what I had to say and put out there had value because a devalued it for so long, that I really dug quite a hole.

Candice Wu 40:03

Oh, that sounds so painful. What do you mean?

Rachael Huttner 40:09

I mean, that I almost did everything I possibly could, except for giving this very important information a voice. And I was getting nowhere. For so long or just getting the same places and I knew it. I would maybe do it a different way this time, and a different way that time. But the end was always the same. So on a practical matter, I alluded to having many different kinds of jobs.

Rachael Huttner 40:43

And at first, it was fun. I worked in a distillery for a while. I worked in many coffee shops and met many cool people, including you.

Candice Wu 40:54

Yes.

Rachael Huttner 40:57

And I mean, I’ve worked with underserved populations, which was very near to my heart. But I ran up to some problems. You know, especially with underserved populations. I saw the things, there were certain practices that didn’t make sense for groups of people that were needing help, you know, and I saw people being burnt out. I saw caretakers being burnt out. And this didn’t make sense to me. And I kind of thought I had maybe something to offer, maybe something to like put out there that would help ease a burden somewhere. But I didn’t do it. And so I got different jobs here and there. And I would get frustrated and eventually I would lose the job, or I would get fired or quit because I was frustrated. I mean, this has happened so many times and you know that about me.

Candice Wu 41:58

I do know that. I’m laughing also because I know this for myself, you know, experiences of repeating something over and over in an effort to find it or to do something but totally avoiding the thing that you, is truly you.

Rachael Huttner 42:16

Yeah, exactly. And, you know, it cost me. I spent a lot of time just being broke, you know. I had to move home at one point, which was tough and that point was semi-recently, too, I might add. And then finally, where I was, you know, I just couldn’t do it anymore and so the way out of that was to give my ideas of voice and to try to create something new. And by new, I mean, by way of, you know, teamwork, community, having those be my cornerstones.

Rachael Huttner 42:53

And I started doing a little bit of writing. So far, I’ve only posted on social media, like via Facebook. But I have a blog developing now for the first time ever, and this feels really empowering to me.

Candice Wu 43:06

So exciting. I am so happy for you. And it sounds like you really, through all those experiences saw yourself and started to listen internally and let that reach outward.

Rachael Huttner 43:21

Yeah, exactly. I, there was definitely a shift. And I think on a bigger level: if we’re speaking holistically here, I think the shift that’s happening right now too, have a typically giving one type of group of people power and authority. Right. So that’s a shift that we’re shifting away from patriarchy, one word for it. We’re shifting away from that.

Rachael Huttner 43:49

So as I saw that these people that I thought had all the answers, and I thought that I don’t have any new answers, though, I thought that I wasn’t the expert. And that what I have to say, doesn’t have the years of study or schoolwork or experience that a lot of maybe, my male teachers had.

Rachael Huttner 44:13

I felt like that kind of added to me being very reluctant to put anything out there. And, you know, and the theme of things are shifting away from that. I think everyone can kind of feel that. And so now I feel more empowered, by my insight, by the things that are intuitive, and the things that are a little bit more intangible, that they have equal power and equal value and that really need to be shared right now.

Candice Wu 44:43

So important, what you’re saying, and this is a bit personal, but I’m just going to go for it. Because, you know, we’re here.

Candice Wu 44:51

As you were talking about patriarchy, you were rubbing your left shoulder and like almost shaking something off of you and then when you start talking about what your insight was, you brought your hand to the centerline of your body. And like moved it down as you talk.

Candice Wu 45:10

And it leads me to a thought I was having when you were saying that you’re not the authority, or that you didn’t have authority to speak on something. But I’m thinking about two people you already mentioned today, just kind of as an example, you were mentioning your mom and your grandma, and as you know, working with a lineage is really important and it sounds like there’s so much resource in your lineage around your authority and your insight. What do you think about that?

Rachael Huttner 45:52

Yeah, that’s a really good point. I think that for me, personally, so my Nana, she reads tarot cards and she’s really good at it. And my mom is a highly gifted, intuitive, medium, psychic. I mean, she gets these messages and she sees things that end up coming, have already happened for me, maybe but I haven’t told her or come up being true right, later on, end up happening later on.

Rachael Huttner 46:29

And I think this is something that, yeah, has, I think this is a very feminine matriarchy, matriarchal quality. And I think it’s undervalued because it’s not as tangible and I think that does really, it does, you’re very good, I know, at paying attention to the lineage and what has been passed down to us. And I think that having this power that is of a more feminine quality and not paying attention to it has been, you know, to my detriment, to our detriment.

Rachael Huttner 47:10

But I do think this is one of the things that is really important that I’m finally giving more of a voice to because I’m finding how impactful it is.

Candice Wu 47:23

It’s a powerful Motherline you have, and it’s almost like, as you’re saying that I just picture them, like breathing better.

Rachael Huttner 47:32

Oh, that’s awesome.

Candice Wu 47:34

Yes, like, an embracing of the resource, the love that’s there.

Rachael Huttner 47:41

Yeah, I feel like our generation, I mean, you and I are in our early 30s. So I feel like our generation has this opportunity to give this a voice. I mean, us women, we have an opportunity to give us a voice where, as before, it was not, just not taking seriously. And so I feel like that does really alleviate maybe a lot of trauma and maybe a lot of hardship that, you know, our parents or our grandparents, grandmothers had.

Candice Wu 48:17

Yeah, there’s such a capacity to transform right now that we’re accessing.

Rachael Huttner 48:25

Yeah, and I think it kind of goes off of what you and I had a conversation earlier today. And to me, I really believe in this notion of the healer within.

Rachael Huttner 48:40

And I feel that holistic therapy, holistic, just the word in general, again, this notion that we’re approaching one another and healing already being whole or with realizing how we are already whole. And just like, we push away parts of ourselves that we don’t like, but they don’t really go anywhere, right? They’re still there, because we’re whole.

Candice Wu 49:07

Yup.

Rachael Huttner 49:09

We also have this healer inside of us. And through my work, that’s what I want to speak to, this inner healer that is just waiting to be spoken to probably the same way that my Nana, or my mom, or my Nana’s mom, was just waiting for that intuition, that insight, that kind of clairvoyant quality, to be really taken seriously and brought out into the world. I mean, I don’t, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, mostly women, but that’s not to say that men don’t, you know, don’t say this too, that is the last time I ignore my intuition.

Candice Wu 49:47

Oh, you hear people say that?

Rachael Huttner 49:50

Yeah. Right. Because it is a very real thing.

Candice Wu 49:54

It feels so painful. I’ve definitely said that. I haven’t heard people say it lately. But —

Rachael Huttner 50:01

I have. I feel like it’s a very real thing, intuition. We don’t, it’s something that typically has been undervalued. But it is a very real thing that is on our side. It comes from us and it’s us giving ourselves help in some way and we need to listen, it’s important to listen to it.

Candice Wu 50:24

How do you spot your intuition speaking to you?

Rachael Huttner 50:30

Usually by my level of resistance to it.

Candice Wu 50:37

I totally get it. But what for you is the resistance?

Rachael Huttner 50:44

So it’s usually this feeling of like, that you know better. It’s usually this feeling of you should do it this way, this time and there’s resistance to it because maybe it’s the way that you haven’t done yet. Or, maybe it’s the way that feels most uncomfortable. But I think it’s the way that’s going to serve you best. I think that’s why it’s asking for a voice or asking to be seen. I’m not sure if I’m describing that, or it makes sense.

Candice Wu 51:22

It sounds like usually, your intuition tells you something that’s like new or uncomfortable or different, which I’ve heard you speak to, like what’s emerging in that and then you kind of fight that.

Rachael Huttner 51:37

Yeah, I think there’s a stage of hiding it or being like, really? Do I have to do it this way?

Candice Wu 51:48

It’s like you bargain with your sister, your intuition or your inner self.

Rachael Huttner 51:54

Yeah, but at the same time, that’s just kind of silly, because I know that at my highest level, I am asking for this insight. And so aren’t we funny?

Rachael Huttner 52:07

Yeah.

Candice Wu 52:09

Yep. I know, it’s silly, the things that we try to negotiate.

Candice Wu 52:16

So what’s something, can you give us an example of that? An example of your intuition speaking to you recently, where you said like, really? Oh, no, I don’t want to do that.

Rachael Huttner 52:33

Okay, yeah, that’s good.

Rachael Huttner 52:35

So I think, how I want to give my creativity a voice, one of the ways that I’ve also gone around that, or tried to avoid that is by my romantic relationships. So I feel like I tried to delve into partnerships, instead of using that energy and that focus into, you know, building a practice and giving a voice, like I said, giving a voice to what I believe in, you could tell, you know, I’m not saying that relationships don’t have value, or that you shouldn’t be in them, or whatever. But I think, I do believe we have a tendency to give them maybe too much weight.

Rachael Huttner 53:21

And if we don’t give them too much weight, then I think we also can feel when we’re doing something that is taking away our energy from the true purpose and the true drive right now. So whether it’s a relationship or not, I mean, for me, it typically tends to be, if your focus is on creating a practice, then, you know, why are you watching Netflix and catching up on bingeing on a TV show?

Rachael Huttner 54:00

You know, I mean, it could be anything, and, or like going out and doing the same thing, or, you know, going out for drinks or whatever?

Rachael Huttner 54:07

Yeah, those, that’s something that you’ve done once in a while, but like how much longer you’re going to do that? I think we all have this voice. And we know, and maybe it is talking to you right now and maybe you could sense it. Right now. I wouldn’t doubt if you can. But we all have this, this feeling and this pull inside of us that says, Okay, this is the truth. I have to stop. This is getting me nowhere, and I need to stop and it’s very hard. Because it’s hard to break the habit but it’s also hard to do the thing that’s new because we haven’t done it yet. Right. So we don’t know what it looks like, or we can’t quite envision that yet.

Candice Wu 54:45

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense and just thinking about creativity, that second chakra, that’s the reproductive area. That’s the same area as our relational area and I’m just pulling in all these thoughts at the moment. Like, if we’re moving towards something we want to create, and it’s truly our voice, there’s often that fear. Because we have to move through that to really bring all of us to what we’re creating, the fears got to be there too or that somehow somewhere in our lives, someone has, we’ve had an experience where we thought this wasn’t valuable or good enough, or, whatever. But when we have that fear come off now we want that soothing and how do we — where do we turn then like a relationship or a connection in some way?

Candice Wu 55:45

So it makes sense. But then at the same time, I hear you in saying, there’s a gut feeling that just says you need to do something different and to reach out for it and to try it to challenge yourself that way.

Rachael Huttner 55:58

Yeah, there’s definitely a gut feeling and I know that we all have it. I know that we all have it. And so you know, it’s just a matter of listening to it and I really try to encourage people that was something that I wrote recently on Facebook, again, not my preferred way to put things out there but in lieu of the blog right now, I think it’s working. But that was just kind of my encouraging, like, words was that, personally, I just went, I had three years, my third year anniversary of being completely sober.

Candice Wu 56:32

Congrats.

Rachael Huttner 56:33

Yes. So that was actually back in January, three years, I gave up drinking. And I wasn’t, I don’t think I was an alcoholic? I don’t think I was that what we think of as an alcoholic if an alcoholic is like on a scale of 1 to 10. And maybe they’re like a 9 or a 10, I think I was probably at a 5 or 6. But I did think that being a 5 or 6 is still unhealthy!

Rachael Huttner 57:03

And I could tell that it was just getting in the way of what I wanted to do and where I needed to be. So it took me a long time and I gave myself every excuse to keep on drinking. Like, oh, it’s supporting local breweries.

Candice Wu 57:23

Good one.

Rachael Huttner 57:24

Yeah. Isn’t that clever?

Candice Wu 57:26

Very clever and resourceful.

Rachael Huttner 57:31

Teamwork again, or it’s been a really hard day, or it’s just one drink, or whatever. Those are all excuses and I think you can recognize them. I think if you’re listening you will recognize them.

Candice Wu 57:48

I do.

Rachael Huttner 57:49

And so my challenge was to call it out and to say, yeah, these are excuses, and that we tell ourselves to keep us stuck and it was three years ago, and finally I just had this epiphany. And I was like, I just can’t keep doing this. How much more am I going to do this to myself? And I could say that in those three years, I feel like my spirituality and clarity has just blossomed. I feel like, I’m a big bike rider.

Rachael Huttner 58:22

And one time I was on my bike and I was having a tough day. And I just had this moment where I was like, Oh, my gosh, if I were still drinking right now, this day would bury me. And it was just this realization that that stopping the thing that was hindering me, was really what I needed and it really boosted me. It’s stopping that thing that’s taking away from the quality of life, ultimately.

Candice Wu 58:53

But it also makes me wonder, what’s your balance of willpower and just changing behavior and healing it at the root or transforming? What was there before it? Or, why it came to be to begin with?

Rachael Huttner 59:12

Yeah, that’s a good point. I think to encourage people to work with what they’re — maybe they struggle with or their vice, I’ll just use the word “vice”. But I think that there are many different ways that you can go about it and I think it’s just taking the first step. So ultimately, it is, you know, ideally, I feel like the change is more sustainable if you do things at the root level. But I don’t think that’s always necessary in order to right away, in order to make really big, impactful changes.

Candice Wu 59:49

Yeah, I completely agree with that. Just one step. It’s a really good reminder.

Candice Wu 59:57

You mentioned you tried to so many different healing modalities, and they’ve all served you in different ways. Why did you ultimately choose bodywork, Thai bodywork, and Reiki for yourself?

Rachael Huttner 1:00:09

Yeah, so I really was drawn to the movements of the Thai style of bodywork. I use a lot more of my body than a typical massage so I think people are used to the table experience, right. And the practitioners, basically just using their hands but with a Thai style, it’s done on a mat, and the recipients fully clothed. So I think there was a, you know, also kind of an added comfort level there.

Rachael Huttner 1:00:37

But I support people in certain stretches, and certain poses that resemble Yoga, but also there’s compression and there’s a lot of movement going on. And coming from, you know, my previous life as a basketball player, the movement is ultimate, what’s really important to me. So I feel like just through the movement, things really come together and I’m able to hone in easier on what might be coming up for the person that I’m seeing.

Rachael Huttner 1:01:08

And with the Reiki, I mean, again, I have to mention my teacher, Nicole Perez, I started seeing her for another issue that I was having. I mentioned I had lower back problems growing up. But I had a surgery a few years ago for ovarian cysts and I saw her, she did Reiki out of the place that I was going to for treatment. And she’s just a wonderful gifted practitioner and even though I had Reiki before, and I really enjoyed the experience, there was something about her that I was really drawn to, she just had this incredibly down to earth approach to energy work. And I feel like that combination is a little tougher to come by.

Rachael Huttner 1:02:00

And so as I was receiving from her, you know, having these sessions, it wasn’t long before I knew that it was something that I really wanted to study and maybe that would have happened eventually. But I really think that she turned me on to wanting to study because of her down to earth approach.

Candice Wu 1:02:19

You’ve also mentioned something about her approach where, to me, when she’s working with you, she’ll just receive imagery and insight. And I think you have that gift. Can you talk about it?

Rachael Huttner 1:02:37

Yeah, I’m glad you’re mentioning that because I think it’s another thing that I’ve actually struggled talking about.

Candice Wu 1:02:45

Really, why is that?

Rachael Huttner 1:02:48

So she does a lot of guide work and I think working with guides, is this concept that maybe some people know, or maybe people are new to —

Candice Wu 1:03:01

You mean spirit guides. Right?

Rachael Huttner 1:03:02

Thank you. Yes, just to clarify.

Rachael Huttner 1:03:05

I do. I mean, spirit guides, and I feel like, I don’t — Yeah, I feel like through learning Reiki from her, working with your spirit guides is really important. Everyone has spirit guides, that is my belief, that everyone has spirit guides. And I think they’re helping you and I think they probably have a hand in synchronicity. I think that’s also why I like it so much.

Rachael Huttner 1:03:30

But I also think it’s speaking to this notion of having spirit guides and that’s not something that we’ve heard a lot about, especially maybe, from holistic energy workers. I think it’s still something that like, doesn’t get as much attention as it should, because it’s, again, more of maybe a non-tangible concept.

Rachael Huttner 1:03:52

But I feel like it’s a way that we’re supported in doing work through our spirit guides, and they’re there to help us. It’s, I think a lot of times people understand this concept of having a spirit animal, what’s your spirit animal? I think maybe that’s more a more common way of looking at it. And it’s this animal that we relate to and their qualities about the animal that maybe we see in us. And there are strengths that the animal has, that is speaking to the strengths that we need to develop.

Rachael Huttner 1:04:20

And so I think, through Reiki, I believe that my guides are helping me and they’re showing me images, and they’re showing me things that are important for the client, and that I speak to after the session that are incredibly insightful. And I think, for me, I think I received the information through images, specifically. I think that might have something to do with the fact that I use my body for a lot of my work. I think I can relate stronger to images. But also sometimes we have a way of misconstruing words and the meaning of words. I feel like through an image, it has a lot of power and we’re able to easily, well, maybe not so easily, but with some time, decipher what the image really means to us because it kind of tugs at something inside of us.

Candice Wu 1:05:16

Yeah, it speaks to just different parts of us that words may not be able to access.

Rachael Huttner 1:05:23

Perfect, yeah, whether it be like a memory, or, I feel like the images can be very emotionally related, like, you know, especially specific things that come up.

Candice Wu 1:05:35

Yeah, very much.

Candice Wu 1:05:39

Well, I’ve really loved talking with you today, is there anything else that you’re sitting on that you want to share today?

Rachael Huttner 1:05:48

Probably just a reiteration of my love for teamwork, I have to say there are two things right now. It’s finding opportunities to work together, to want to boost one another, and encourage one another in their pursuits. And also, I think it’s in moving slow. I feel like that’s another thing that I’ve been trying to focus on, or a message that I’ve been focused on putting out there. I think that we move at a very fast pace. And I think if we continually move at a fast pace, we miss a lot of what is being, like spoken to us. We miss a lot of the subtleties of information, whether it’s through dreams, because you know, we get insights through dreams and then before move a little slower, we could process them upon waking. Or, if it’s an emotion that comes up this really difficult.

Rachael Huttner 1:06:46

And if we’re moving too fast, and we go to the next thing, we never give that emotion the space that it needs. And ultimately, these things need space, or, these things are speaking to us so that we can be better for ourselves. And in order to turn up the volume, I think we have to move slower in what we’re doing on a daily basis.

Candice Wu 1:07:10

Yeah, it’s as if many of us are just running, and we can’t really receive things when we’re running, you know, imagine just all these good things coming your way while you’re running. Like, how can you even catch them? It’s like slow down, take this, receive this. Right?

Candice Wu 1:07:32

Well, thank you so much for joining me today and look forward to having you again.

Rachael Huttner 1:07:38

Yeah, this has been a lot of fun and I appreciate the opportunity to give these ideas a nice voice.

Candice Wu 1:07:46

Rachael, where can we find you?

Rachael Huttner 1:07:48

Yes. So right now, in lieu of a website, I made a YouTube video and you can look me up, it’s Rachael Huttner. I basically just made a short video talking about my approach to the Thai style of bodywork and also I wanted to show some demonstrations firsthand, because I find that a lot of the people I was working with, were very new to the Thai style and didn’t know what to expect. So I wanted to make it more approachable. And if you watch it, please leave me a comment because I would love any questions or feedback that you have. Again, this is a new practice for me. So I have an invite for it all.

Candice Wu 1:08:33

It’s a lovely video, Rachael. Thank you.

Candice Wu 1:08:35

And that was our show today with Rachael.

Candice Wu 1:08:37

Rachael offers Thai bodywork and Reiki and speaks about existential life questions and synchronicity. Soon she will have her blog up and right now you can check out Rachael’s Thai bodywork on YouTube by searching her name, or you can look at the show notes below and click on the link.

Candice Wu 1:08:56

Before you leave today, I’d like to invite you to subscribe to the weekly Embody Podcast at CandiceWu.com/podcast where you’ll find lots of meditations, interviews, all about healing work, being yourself, being in your body. You can stay connected with me and get lots of free resources, meditations and tips on healing and loving yourself in my newsletter, or on the Embody Community on Facebook. All of that can be accessed on my website at Candicewu.com. Thanks so much and see you next time.