What’s on the other end of the “Am I Crazy??” Experiences?
Here we go- the sequel to Freedom + Expansion: The Terrifying Gifts of Spiritual and Existential Crisis!
Find out in Part A what it’s been like since I felt pieces of my existence shatter, the way my bladder was screaming, how I transformed pain into wisdom and revealed the mysteries behind my symptoms, sorting and clearing the ancestral and collective energies that came up, and the actual gifts + magic that I’ve received on the other end.
Part B, Soul and Body Support, is all for you! I’ve had many listeners ask for more meditations and guided experiences for healing. In four segments that you can use at your own pace, I guide you through:
- Soothing self-touch and grounding your body into safety
- Immersing yourself in an imaginary Healing Sanctuary for deeper release
- Talking and listening to your body using the language of the body, love, to learn the wisdom beneath your body symptoms
- Using your story of your physical and emotional symptoms as a tool to explore deeper into the soul’s messages
These can help anyone find deeper healing, grounding, and self-love.
Anxiety or Energetic Upgrade? Check out this later Episode on Energetic Upgrades and more on Spiritual Crisis. Support for overwhelm.
Please use the player below to listen or download this episode. To make it easier for you to get new episodes on your phone, you can also subscribe for new episodes on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and other platforms.
What’s on the other end of the “Am I Crazy??” Experiences?
Here we go- the sequel to Freedom + Expansion: The Terrifying Gifts of Spiritual and Existential Crisis!
Find out in Part A what it’s been like since I felt pieces of my existence shatter, the way my bladder was screaming, how I transformed pain into wisdom and revealed the mysteries behind my symptoms, sorting and clearing the ancestral and collective energies that came up, and the actual gifts + magic that I’ve received on the other end.
Part B, Soul and Body Support, is all for you! I’ve had many listeners ask for more meditations and guided experiences for healing. In four segments that you can use at your own pace, I guide you through:
- Soothing self-touch and grounding your body into safety
- Immersing yourself in an imaginary Healing Sanctuary for deeper release
- Talking and listening to your body using the language of the body, love, to learn the wisdom beneath your body symptoms
- Using your story of your physical and emotional symptoms as a tool to explore deeper into the soul’s messages
These can help anyone find deeper healing, grounding, and self-love.
Links, Article, and Resources
All Show Notes for This Episode
📝https://candicewu.com/soul-body-support-for-the-mystery-magic-behind-spiritual-crisis
Podcast Homepage
🎧https://candicewu.com/podcast
Newsletter & Embody Community
💌https://candicewu.com/embody-community
Candice Wu Page on Facebook
👫https://facebook.com/EmbodyYourNature
Follow Candice on Instagram
📷https://instagram.com/EmbodyYourNature
Sponsorship Message
This episode is brought to you by the Soul Body Women’s Retreat in October 2018. This is a spiritual and healing retreat inspired to support connecting Soul and Body with lots of love and playfulness!
In this retreat, we connect the elements of Earth and Sky within, Feminine and Masculine, and all of the opposing energies within. It is a sacred intensive of meditations, yoga, family constellations, somatic healing, and soul work to deeply heal stuckness, beliefs, or ancestral bonds and embody freedom and specific personal intentions. For this and future retreats, you can find out more information on CandiceWu.com/retreats.
Your support in sharing this or joining a retreat helps me make more healing albums, content, and create more podcast episodes. I am grateful for your support!
Show Notes
00:00 Intro & Welcome
00:51 Thank You to My Listeners!
01:24 Sponsored Message: Soul Body Women’s Retreat
02:47 Let’s Get to It
02:53 Mention of the Episode: The Terrifying Gifts… & Short Recap
04:15 What I Talk About in This Episode
Part A
04:34 What I Experienced Since Last Time
05:01 What Is Sharing Too Much?
05:38 Released Some of the Shame, It's More Important to Share
05:53 Disclaimer for TMI
06:11 Urinary Tract Infection / Wildfire
07:15 Mention of Game of Thrones: Daenerys’ Blazing Fire Dragons
07:47 Anger! Anger! Anger!
08:31 Past Life Coming: Shaman or Witch
09:24 Heat in My Bladder Matching the Climate in Bali
10:04 Anger Shifting
11:07 The Females in My Chinese Lineage
11:35 Feminine Power & Room for Masculine
12:31 Forceful Syncing With My Body’s Timing
13:23 What I was Embarrassed By
14:15 What Spiritual Crises Is Really About
15:16 “If There Isn’t a Spiritual Place for Dis-Ease, There Wouldn’t Be a Physical One.”
16:29 What Have I Gained? Why Not Just a Quick Fix?
17:26 I Get to Define Who I Am…
18:02 Cleaning Your Home & Soul
20:05 Making a Mess Before the Clean
20:36 A New Draw to My Intuition
21:10 A Loving Message to My Bladder
Part B
21:32 Body and Soul Support
22:10 First Exercise [6 Min]: Grounding, Self-Touch and Feeling Into Your Safety Right Now
28:14 Second Exercise [4 Min]: Healing Sanctuary
32:09 Third Exercise [5 Min]: Inner Listening
37:16 Fourth Exercise [3 Min]: Physical Symptoms Word Play
40:30 End of Part B
41:33 Sponsored Message
41:59 Sendoff

Hello, this is Candice Wu on the Embody Podcast and I want to welcome you today to this episode that is a part two of The Freedom and Expansion: The Terrifying Gifts of Spiritual and Existential Crisis.
Candice Wu 0:14
In this episode, I want to give you an update of what I’ve experienced spiritually as well as physically, and offer some of the insights, wisdom, and gifts that I have experienced, including some of that, that I talked about in that episode two times ago, The Freedom and Expansion. I’ll share my personal experience. And then in part B of this episode, I will guide you through some meditations and healing exercises, so that you can have somebody and soul support if you’re experiencing anything similar, or just wanting some deeper healing, grounding or safety in your body.
Candice Wu 0:51
I want to start by just thanking all of the people that have listened so far to that episode, and other episodes, and given me feedback, in terms of questions, challenges, feedback, also about how I’m speaking or what I’m saying, or how it has impacted their lives. It’s been really touching to hear all of your personal stories. And it’s one of the most delightful things about doing this podcast and being in the work that I am because you share your souls with me. And I deeply appreciate that.
Candice Wu 1:24
Also, before I start, I want to share that this episode here is brought to you by the Soul Body Women’s Retreat. This is a retreat that will be held in October 2018. This is a completely transformative and tailored experience for the women who want to join me. It’s a place where they can bring their own intentions, challenges, and what they’re going through, and specifically gain soul and body support through that. It’s really special to hold this retreat in Zion National Park because it’s this beautiful blend of mountains and sky and caves and water, where it’s just completely rich and balanced with opposing forces.
Candice Wu 2:05
And so in this retreat, we will be balancing the elements of earth and sky within, feminine and masculine within, it all of what is opposite and opposing inside of us, so that there’s alignment. So, I want to share this because this completely funds the work I do with the podcasts and with all of the free resources that I put out there. For this and future retreats, you can find out more information at CandiceWu.com/retreats. And if you want to support and don’t want to join the retreat, you can always support by sharing it with a loved one, especially a woman who you think would really benefit from this work.
Candice Wu 2:43
I am completely grateful for your support. And now let’s get to the show. Some of you, I know are probably dying to know what I’ve been going through. And some of you haven’t even listened to that first episode that I’m talking about, The Freedom and Expansion: The Terrifying Gifts of Spiritual and Existential Crisis. So, I want to just talk briefly about that episode. In that episode, I shared many experiences of my emotional world, as well as my physical world where I felt like I was going crazy. I felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore. My body was having so many different symptoms, emotionally I felt every which way, depressed, angry, sad, upset, it felt like the earth underneath me was shaking, and crumbling.
Candice Wu 3:30
And in a way, I was destroyed. I felt like at times, I was in that quote and quote, Dark Night of the Soul. And other days, I felt that freedom and expansion but it wasn’t without pain and agony and tears, and grits, and working through things.
Candice Wu 3:52
So, in that episode, I cover all of that, and what spiritual crisis is, and the spectrum of spiritual experiences that may be from crisis to daily experiences, where things are painful and challenging, or you’re triggered and how to know that you’re going to get through it, or how to find some resilience in you.
Candice Wu 4:15
So, in this episode, I want to give you that update of what’s happened but also shift gears a bit into the wisdom that I’ve received, and ways that I went through it, tools that I used, so that you can also try these with yourself. So, what have I experienced since? Since the episode was published, I have been on the up overall but there have been ups and downs. And the last that I shared with you is that I had an infection and I was still moving through a lot of emotions, and feelings inside. I’ve gone back and forth about this, about what to share specifically on this podcast, what not to share, what’s having good boundaries, what’s not.
Candice Wu 5:01
I moved through some fear about sharing specifically what I was going through in my body because of societal shaming and fears that I might be judged for sharing too much. And at the same time, this is our body, this is a tool. And why do we need to be so closed about the experience of that? I realized that for me speaking about it, takes the power out of the criticism or shame or judgment of sharing. The judgment out of “this is my experience”, and it needs to be behind closed doors.
Candice Wu 5:38
So, at this point, I have released some of those fears and shame for myself, shame for what my body has experienced, and decided that it’s more important to share because these are tools, and that tools that people can use for themselves.
Candice Wu 5:53
So, at any time, if you feel like this is TMI (Too Much Information), or you just don’t want to hear these personal details, feel free to fast forward to some of the later segments of the podcast. And you can see the show notes and the timing on my website. So, the loudest thing that I’ve experienced since the last podcast on this topic, is a urinary tract infection that lasted about a week and a half. And if you’ve ever had something like that, you know that there’s this burning when you urinate, and it can be quite painful. It was the segue to a lot of ancestral as well as collective healing work that needed to come through my body.
Candice Wu 6:40
And as I mentioned in the last episode, I felt that my body was cleansing. There was wildfire happening in my body in this area than that and it seemed like the cleansing brought it all to eliminate in my body. But it was getting blocked up here in my bladder. And it did feel like it was on fire. When I go to the bathroom, it felt like I just wanted to scream bloody murder. I remember trying to stay with the sensation and see what it was all about. I’d have the image of being in Game of Thrones when Daenerys is on her dragon and the dragon just lays his fire breath all over the town and just wrecks everything and completely demolishes this area. It was quite obvious a lot of anger wanted to come through me and I wasn’t quite sure what that was about. And as I sat with it longer, because it happened for a week and a half.
Candice Wu 7:41
It was pretty much forced to look at it repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly. It felt revealed to me of the anger that was just waiting inside of me. Now, I’ve worked with anger for several years, and worked with moving anger or moving red energy as my teacher calls it. But this was something different, it was just another level of deeply embedded anger that seems to be beyond me and before me and through me.
Candice Wu 8:13
Some of that anger could be pinpointed personally, the beliefs that who I am, there’s something to hide. And I spoke just a bit about that, or who I am is unlovable, unlikable, and worth being left and abandoned and exiled. There was a piece of past life coming in, the experience of having been exiled in a past life as a shaman or a witch. It’s something that feels very close to me. I don’t know if it’s true, but there’s a feeling of that. And that anger seemed to be mixed in the pot.
Candice Wu 8:51
And then as I worked with my healing coach about it, what seemed to be coming through was pieces of my ancestry. And going back from really far in time to all the women, the women being angry and upset. But mostly that they’ve buried horror. And I think about women’s feet being bound in Chinese culture, the horror of silencing in the Chinese culture and in the world as a whole for women. And that anger was just like raging in my bladder.
Candice Wu 9:24
An interesting synchronicity is that when I arrived in Bali, Indonesia, where I am still located now, it was so hot. I knew that before I arrived, there was a volcano that erupted. And the prediction was that they didn’t know whether it would erupt again. It was as if the anger in my body, the heat in my body, reflected and matched what was going on in my surroundings here. And that didn’t seem like quite a coincidence to me. It seemed somehow as if my soul had drawn me here in order to really look at this and not avoid it.
Candice Wu 10:04
So, as I looked at the generational line of women that was before me, at this point, with this anger, it felt like something was shifting, that there was another message wanting to come through of wisdom, it was saying, “Look at the wisdom behind all of this, let the pain transform into wisdom.” I didn’t quite know what that meant but as I stayed longer with it, and grounded my body, and continue to connect with that message, it felt that there was a lot of grief in the lineage of the women before me.
Candice Wu 10:38
And by letting them have that grief back not holding it myself not having to feel it myself, it would honor them completely. It would be a way that I could see their story, let them have their grief and see that they’re enough to have it, enough to hold it. With that, I felt a lot of cooling and tingling in my bladder area. And it seemed like things were turning after that and started to heal up faster in my physical body.
Candice Wu 11:07
In the Chinese lineage, it’s my perception that there’s a lot of silence, silence because people actually got killed in terrifying experiences like Tiananmen Square, where they did speak out. There’s so much continued censorship. And in my healing work, I received the message that I don’t have to be silent, I don’t have to hold anything inside. It’s safe for me here now to speak. And it’s powerful to speak. I actually see a lot of women starting podcasts just like I have done and speaking about what’s been holding inside for a long time, and gathering other women to speak on different topics around healing and feminism and being, and being in feminine power.
Candice Wu 11:53
And with that said, it feels like there’s some balancing of masculine and feminine energies in me, were not just giving power to the feminine parts but by honoring and respecting those parts, it also decreases the tension on the masculine parts, where there’s a respect and a balance. And I see that happening in terms of male and female in the world as well. That is not just about bringing up females. It’s about honoring and respecting that voice so that male voices can also be honored and respected and have their place.
Candice Wu 12:31
But now, I’m tangenting and I want to get back to the UTI and one more piece that happened there. This infection completely pulled on my sense of what has power in me, in terms of my timing and my pacing and what do I listen to.
Candice Wu 12:48
What I’m talking about is it was completely unexpected, it might have been one minute, five minutes, 30 minutes, and then one minute again, that my bladder wanted to go to the bathroom. And it was just completely disruptive to everything. I couldn’t leave the house, unless I wanted to go to the bathroom on the side of the road. I had to keep a bowl next to my bed because in the middle of the night, it was just at a random time and running down the stairs, and around the corner was just far too much for my body to handle. This was challenging, it was a bit embarrassing, as well. And that seemed to be another level of just accepting my body, accepting that this is what it’s doing and it wants me to listen. It was as if it forced me to come in alignment with my timing. Anytime, I pushed my body to do something different, it just seemed to get worse. And I had to completely surrender to the timing of my bladder.
Candice Wu 13:50
And taking that on a spiritual level, how can I let my soul’s timing lead the way? How can I let my heart’s timing lead the way? Not the way of the world and not the pushing and the type A place that I’ve been completely brought up to be even though I thought I had shed a lot of that, it was still ways that that was acting out.
Candice Wu 14:15
So, what I’m describing to you are all of the ways that my body was speaking to me and bringing me to something deeper in myself. And that’s what spiritual crisis is really about. It’s a conglomeration of a lot of things that your spirit, your soul, your body, your heart want to tell you. And it can be overwhelming when a lot of that energy wants to come through because it’s hard to integrate all at once. I know I have this moment of choice where I can take a physical symptom and just treat it completely physically. Go to the doctor or just take some medicine, or some herbs, and not go deeper into what it’s all about.
Candice Wu 15:00
But I can’t quite seem to ignore that I know more in myself. I know that every single thing I experience, almost every single thing seems to have some deeper level of spiritual message for me, except when there’s not, but usually there is. My spiritual and yoga teacher says that if there isn’t a spiritual place for the illness, there wouldn’t be a physical one.
Candice Wu 15:24
In my experience, any physical sensation, disease, illness, emotion, or experience of the physical body, is a call of the soul at a deeper level to look at who I am, and to look at who I am now and what’s moving through me that isn’t who I am. And that’s one of the greatest gifts that I’ve had through this experience of deep and intense emotional transformation, is that I had the sense that this was happening. And I did want to know, at a deeper level, who I am and who I was.
Candice Wu 16:04
I believe that fear and thoughts that come from fear, like, who am I anymore? And does anything mean anything? And is this going to last forever? What if this doesn’t pass? And just that fear of all of these symptoms, is guiding us to look at the fear and then to look at what is deeper beyond that. What can I gain from that? What’s the wisdom?
Candice Wu 16:30
So, what have I gained from all of this? Why go through all of this pain or challenge and go deeper into the healing process? Why not just get the quick fix? Little by little I have felt more releasing of judgment for myself, less self-consciousness, feeling even more grounded and in my body, feeling more freedom to do anything I want to do in this world, in this life. When I said that I was experiencing just a dismantling and a disintegration, a destroying of beliefs that once were, it meant that I was making way for a breakthrough of completely blasting open those beliefs and having freedom, having nothingness, having complete space to create from authenticity, and without the limits that were binding me and driving me.
Candice Wu 17:26
So, well some days, I was feeling complete fear that I didn’t know who I was. Now, I feel like I don’t necessarily know who I am but I get to find it. And who I am is different every day. Right now, I’m entertaining new ideas with myself and with my partner that I think even five days ago, I would have never even thought would be possible or doable. And now, they feel like yeah, “I think I can do that. I can try that. Why not?” As I look back on my experience, I likened it to a deep cleaning of my home. If you have ever cleaned your home, which I’m guessing that most of you have, you can’t just do it in a clean way all the time. If you want to do deep cleaning, you have to get down and dirty.
Candice Wu 18:16
I think you all know what I’m talking about but you have to take apart things, you have to pull up in the drawer and empty everything out if you really want to organize it and see if these things even are things you want to keep anymore. It’s messy in the corner, you need to clean it out so that you can have a clear space for the things you do want to keep. You have to take the things out of the shelving and you find things that you didn’t even know were there. And all the while your hands are dirty, there’s dust in your hair, or you’ve spilled something on yourself. And that is just part of the process.
Candice Wu 18:56
I’ve never seen someone do a deep and thorough cleaning an organization of their home without getting messy. I mean, just imagine it sounds silly like going in there and like being so careful to not move anything and not get dirty. That just doesn’t really work. And it would take forever. It seems like that’s what’s happened in my body in this body that is my home for my soul, that all sorts of old beliefs and habits and energies were in my body, in my soul, and they wanted to come out. And I had to do some deep cleaning.
Candice Wu 19:31
And now, that I’m mostly on the other side of that, I feel totally cleansed, energized and just growing in my energy every day. So, I want to encourage you that if you’re feeling that you’re resonating with any of these experiences that I’m sharing, to continue on to get support, to know that there’s perhaps something deeper that’s waiting for you, some more wisdom that’s waiting for you or a releasing of beliefs that just aren’t really serving you right now.
Candice Wu 20:05
And while freedom can sound great and nice, it doesn’t always feel comfortable during the process of getting there. And having the first feel of freedom, it does get easier and then you become more comfortable in this space of new freedom. But give your body the time to adjust. Don’t push it too hard or too fast, temperate with gentleness and with love and with different somatic and spiritual healing tools that might support you in just loving yourself through it.
Candice Wu 20:36
The last thing that I want to share in terms of what I’ve gained for myself in this, is that I feel an even stronger and deeper connection with the unseen in me and out in the world. I feel this draw to constantly connect with my inner intuition, my inner guide, and to check in on that part of me for every decision that I make. And to do it in such a delightful and light way that I get information and it’s playful, and I can follow my inner guidance.
Candice Wu 21:10
So, I’ll end this segment to the podcast with a little message to my bladder, “Thank you for showing me the power behind the anger that I was holding, and all of the choice that I have now, and for guiding me and the next level of letting my soul take the lead in my life.” I think my bladder likes that.
Candice Wu 21:32
So, now I want to shift gears into part B of this episode, into the body and soul support so that you can use these tools if you have any experience that is a physical sensation, an emotional trigger, or a disease or illness that you’re having. It’s also supportive if you just want to go deeper with yourself or bring another level of safety into your body. If you’re on the go and listening to this podcast, you can follow along if you feel comfortable. And you can always just come back to this and find it in the show notes and go right to the specific timing of where this starts.
Candice Wu 22:10
So, the first exercise I want to guide us through is grounding and feeling into your safety right now.
Candice Wu 22:18
It’s in our instinctive nature to need to know we’re safe in our physical surroundings. So, I now invite you to find a comfortable place to be. Feel free to sit, stand or lie down and take a look around your space.
Candice Wu 22:38
Feel free to notice things that look pleasant to you.
Candice Wu 22:46
And as you see them check in with how it feels in your body.
Candice Wu 22:56
Feel free to notice patterns around you, colors, lines, notice smells or sounds. Then start to bring your attention to your body. And take your hands and just touch your head. And notice what kind of touch feels good.
Candice Wu 23:29
We’re going to touch the body from head to toe to bring safety to the body. And a sense of heightened awareness that this body is here to keep you safe and to contain you.
Candice Wu 23:43
Next who touch your forehead and your eyebrows, the sides of your head on the back of your head, your ears. Experiment with soft touch or firm pressure. Tapping, squeezing, whatever feels good now and take your time to go downward to the neck and the shoulders.
Candice Wu 24:20
To the chest, the arms. Feel into this precious body and notice what feels pleasurable. And what doesn’t
Candice Wu 24:45
Touch any space of the back that you can reach, the sides of the body, the heart area, and the belly.
Candice Wu 25:01
Take your own time, I may be going faster than you’d like to go. Feel free to pause the podcast at any time as well.
Candice Wu 25:14
Feel into the hips, just giving whatever touch feels good there and checking in with yourself.
Candice Wu 25:25
Feel the legs.
Candice Wu 25:31
Spend a little time extra where ever it feels right.
Candice Wu 25:37
Feel the knees, and the shins and calves.
Candice Wu 25:49
Feel into the ankles as you touch with whatever pressure feels right, tops of the feet, and the bottoms of the feet, as well as the toes.
Candice Wu 26:10
And when you finish at your pace, just tune into your breathing.
Candice Wu 26:16
Feeling the weight of gravity. just noticing if you’re sitting where your body is touching the chair or whatever you’re sitting on.
Candice Wu 26:29
Notice the earth underneath you, supporting you.
Candice Wu 26:37
And as you sense into the greatness of earth, check in with the words, “I am safe.” And see if you can find that safety in your body.
Candice Wu 26:58
Notice wherever your body sends you that message, “Yes, I am safe.”
Candice Wu 27:04
And if you need a little extra support, or different kind of support, you can look around again to your surroundings and just know you are safe right here and right now. No matter what experience is going in your body, what emotions are going on, that you are safe, physically, and around you. And you have this body to help you through any emotion.
Candice Wu 27:34
And feel free to stay here in this feeling of safety, pleasure, rest and calm for as long as you’d like to. And if other emotions are happening, just notice them and shift gears coming back to where you feel the grounding or the safety in your body.
Candice Wu 28:00
And if you’d like more time, you can pause the podcast here. But if you’re ready to go on to the next exercise, feel free to stay listening and with me.
Candice Wu 28:14
We’ll shift gears now to something that I’ve done with my heart and soul coach. And it is tuning into a healing temple or a healing sanctuary.
Candice Wu 28:28
So, as you’re sitting or lying down, find yourself in the most comfortable position. Notice your breathing and just allow it to be natural.
Candice Wu 28:52
And imagine the most sacred, beautiful healing sanctuary that would be just right for you. This can look in any way that feels right for you. For some, it’s being out in nature, maybe having a bed right in the middle of a beautiful forest. Perhaps it means having water nearby like a stream or an ocean. And for some, it’s being in a closed room where it’s dark or where it’s filled with crystals, candles, or maybe even tattoo ideas on the wall, artwork.
Candice Wu 29:41
Whatever your healing sanctuary would have, imagine that now. And give your body and your heart permission to sink into this beautiful healing sanctuary of yours.
Candice Wu 30:00
Where it’s completely safe for you to rest for any healing to happen inside your body. And for all of the healing to happen without you having to do anything at all.
Candice Wu 30:24
Whatever is happening inside, feel free to notice with some level of detachment, that this is the emotion that wants to move through you.
Candice Wu 30:43
Let your body release more and more layers, whatever it’s holding. And imagine being surrounded by pure love.
Candice Wu 30:59
Allow any sensation that’s happening in the body, just continue to happen. And feel free to dip into noticing something that feels painful or distressing. And then just step out and notice the healing sanctuary or notice something pleasurable in your body or around you.
Candice Wu 31:28
And just go back and forth to feeling into a little bit at a time of what might be unpleasant and then back out.
Candice Wu 31:41
And feel free to immerse in this for as long as you’d like to, as long as your body wants to. For me, I like to even take 30 minutes and just let myself go into a somewhat meditative state. And it’s okay if you fall asleep even.
Candice Wu 32:00
So, if you’d like more time with yourself here, feel free to pause the podcast. And we’ll shift gears together here if you’re still listening to the next exercise. This next exercise is a healing experiential of inner listening.
Candice Wu 32:21
If you’re not in a comfortable position, feel free to get in one now.
Candice Wu 32:31
Let yourself tune into your breathing and allow all of what came before this to release without any thoughts of the future to wash away with your breath. And sense into this moment right here and right now.
Candice Wu 33:01
Notice one sensation that seems to be calling to you today or one emotion, or situation. And whatever that is, sense into where you feel that in the body.
Candice Wu 33:20
Start to notice all of the details that you can that come with it, how big it feels. If it has any color or texture or allowing it to be here so that we can gather information. And this loving attention already is going to kickstart some healing.
Candice Wu 33:48
And now, letting go of your mental capacities, letting go of analyzing or thinking or processing in your head, we’re going to tune into asking and listening. Just like if you’d ask a friend something and truly listen to their response.
Candice Wu 34:07
I invite you to tune into this space of sensation in your body and ask. Feel free to ask, “What are you?” And listen for whatever it says without any filter.
Candice Wu 34:32
Usually, it’s a whisper. Sometimes it’s a scream. If it’s a whisper, just acknowledge whatever it was.
Candice Wu 34:45
Ask, “What do you need?” And see what this part tells you about what it needs, from a heart space, from the place of emotions and love.
Candice Wu 34:58
What do you need? Maybe it needs a hug, or some assurance or some love.
Candice Wu 35:14
If it tells you it needs certain things to happen, see if you can picture those things happening and just receive the image and the emotions that come from that or you can ask, “What you need from me?” And see what it says.
Candice Wu 35:42
Next, you can ask, “What wisdom do you have for me?” And be completely open, listening and sensing without any filter.
Candice Wu 36:02
And feel free to ask any other questions you have of this part of you and give it whatever it needs.
Candice Wu 36:13
So, we’ve gone through some of these questions pretty quickly but you can take your time and pause here and ask those questions, listen, stay with it and feel free to ask any questions that come to you. And remember to do this from a space of love and heart, not logic, necessarily. The heart has a different kind of logic and it usually needs to feel belonging and safety, release, love, peace, affection, assurance, and those kinds of things, or maybe it needs a release of an emotion, a release of something it wants to say.
Candice Wu 36:56
So, I encourage you to spend some time and practice this or get some support from me or a healer of another sort, a therapist. This is not something that came easy to me in the beginning. But as I learned to tune into the heart space with this, it just became easier and easier.
Candice Wu 37:17
And now, we’re going to shift to the next exercise. So, if you need more time, feel free to pause again. And if you’re still with me here, let’s shift gears and tune into a little bit more of a mental process with physical symptoms.
Candice Wu 37:34
When I was going through the UTI, I could hear myself describe it in ways that led me to understand what might have been spiritually going on. Some other ways that I would describe how it felt were that it was just like, my body was screaming and I just wanted to stomp my feet, and just claw with my hands and reach them outward.
Candice Wu 38:01
That was a good clue that there was anger. And I certainly felt the anger but just even in the words I used, it helped me find even more understanding. So, then I take those words and ask myself, “Is there something I’m personally feeling that way about that I need to just rage or blow fire towards? What do I need to destroy? What needs to end and just be demolished? Or what needs to be expressed? Where’s there anger needing to be expressed?”
Candice Wu 38:35
So, I want to give this exercise to you. Feel free to choose a symptom that you’re experiencing or an emotion that you’re having.
Candice Wu 38:46
Ask yourself, “How would I describe this to a friend, to a loved one that really could understand?”
Candice Wu 38:52
“How would I describe what it feels like or what’s happening to my body in terms of descriptors or an analogy?”
Candice Wu 39:07
You might write this down or say it out loud.
Candice Wu 39:14
And then take a look at these words.
Candice Wu 39:19
You are yourself or read the words you’ve written. And then ask yourself, “Where in my life does this apply?”
Candice Wu 39:33
You might even ask, “Where in my ancestry does this apply?” Because sometimes, the words that come through us have been passed down it inherited.
Candice Wu 39:45
The resolution that someone in our lineage might have needed might be being desired through our experience. And from this place, let yourself get curious and ask questions rather than trying to find the answers.
Candice Wu 40:06
If you were a friend listening to yourself, what questions might you ask? And let this be a guide for your next exploration for yourself. And a fun one, even if the experience or the emotion seems challenging or hard to deal with, let the exploration of it have a little more playfulness and amusement around it.
Candice Wu 40:30
So, that is the end of part B of this episode and I hope that you found some of these tools helpful. I have many, many more of my tool belts, but these are just a few that have helped me through my process. And I hope they can help you whether or not you’re experiencing something like a spiritual crisis. But even on your day today, that you might use some of these tools to help you relate to yourself or tune into your heart.
Candice Wu 40:57
I want to thank you all for listening if you’ve made it this far and if you have any questions, feedback, curiosities, or anything like that, feel free to reach out to me by just emailing me. You can find my contact info on my website at CandiceWu.com. And if you’d like to subscribe to my weekly newsletter or become a member of the Embody community, you can go to CandiceWu.com/embody, where you can also get lots of free resources and more meditations, more information about healing, my retreats workshops, and private sessions.
Candice Wu 41:33
And just a reminder that this podcast today is sponsored by the Soul Body Women’s Retreat, which is happening in October 2018. And I would be so grateful if you take a look at that or share that with someone you felt that, would really enjoy the experience and deeply desires nourishment and transformation for themselves. You can find the information at CandiceWu.com/retreats.
Candice Wu 41:59
It’s been a real pleasure to share all of these with you and I appreciate every single one of you. See you next time on the Embody Podcast.
Sponsorship Message
This episode is brought to you by the Soul Body Women’s Retreat in October 2018. This is a spiritual and healing retreat inspired to support connecting Soul and Body with lots of love and playfulness!
In this retreat, we connect the elements of Earth and Sky within, Feminine and Masculine, and all of the opposing energies within. It is a sacred intensive of meditations, yoga, family constellations, somatic healing, and soul work to deeply heal stuckness, beliefs, or ancestral bonds and embody freedom and specific personal intentions. For this and future retreats, you can find out more information on CandiceWu.com/retreats.
Your support in sharing this or joining a retreat helps me make more healing albums, content, and create more podcast episodes. I am grateful for your support!
Show Notes
- 00:00 Intro & Welcome
- 00:51 Thank You to My Listeners!
- 01:24 Sponsored Message: Soul Body Women’s Retreat
- 02:47 Let’s Get to It
- 02:53 Mention of the Episode: Freedom + Expansion: The Terrifying Gifts of Spiritual and Existential Crisis & Short Recap
- 04:15 What I Talk About in This Episode
Part A
- 04:34 What I Experienced Since Last Time
- 05:01 What Is Sharing Too Much?
- 05:38 Released Some of the Shame, It’s More Important to Share
- 05:53 Disclaimer for TMI
- 06:11 Urinary Tract Infection / Wildfire
- 07:15 Mention of Game of Thrones: Daenerys’ Blazing Fire Dragons
- 07:47 Anger! Anger! Anger!
- 08:31 Past Life Coming: Shaman or Witch
- 09:24 Heat in My Bladder Matching the Climate in Bali
- 10:04 Anger Shifting
- 11:07 The Females in My Chinese Lineage
- 11:35 Feminine Power & Room for Masculine
- 12:31 Forceful Syncing With My Body’s Timing
- 13:23 What I was Embarrassed By
- 14:15 What Spiritual Crises Is Really About
- 15:16 “If There Isn’t a Spiritual Place for Dis-Ease, There Wouldn’t Be a Physical One.”
- 16:29 What Have I Gained? Why Not Just a Quick Fix?
- 17:26 I Get to Define Who I Am…
- 18:02 Cleaning Your Home & Soul
- 20:05 Making a Mess Before the Clean
- 20:36 A New Draw to My Intuition
- 21:10 A Loving Message to My Bladder
Part B
- 21:32 Body and Soul Support
- 22:10 First Exercise [6 Min]: Grounding, Self-Touch and Feeling Into Your Safety Right Now
- 28:14 Second Exercise [4 Min]: Healing Sanctuary
- 32:09 Third Exercise [5 Min]: Inner Listening
- 37:16 Fourth Exercise [3 Min]: Physical Symptoms Word Play
- 40:30 End of Part B
- 41:33 Sponsored Message
- 41:59 Sendoff
Featured Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash
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