What happens for you when fear creeps up?
…When you don’t do what you deeply know you want to because you’re afraid?
…When you avoid or procrastinate, pretending that nothing is happening?
…Or when you feel numb or paralyzed and don’t even look towards what you previously wanted?
In what ways are you harsh on yourself when your fear “gets the best of you?”
Some people name these experiences as just plain fear. Some people see it as a something blocking or in the way, and some identify this as their Ego.
Advocating For Fear
Looking beyond the discomfort, fear can often take us to worlds where we have stored energy, sometimes to childhood, a past life, our soul, or a past experience that is incomplete. Where there is fear, there is a load of energy and resource behind it. We need it in order to go forward. We cannot go forward without it!
I’d like to share a personal look and a client’s story about this kind of fear and some ways to navigate it.
My Own Fear “Getting the Best of Me” And Compassion
I felt fearful this week. At the time of writing this article, I had created three podcasts and felt pretty proud of myself, considering I had moved through some fears to even make those three. By the fourth one, I was feeling self- conscious about what I had already created, fearing that I had created something unworthy, stupid, or dumb. I began to feel that what I was doing didn’t matter, to anyone, but even more significantly so – to me, as I know that the idea of things mattering to other people is a projection of my own insecurities.
I’m at the point in my emotional capacity where I don’t mind feeling a new fear – it helps me learn something more about myself. I even have compassion and forgiveness for myself when I notice that I am letting my fear take the lead, run the show. One of my spiritual teacher says something like, “It’s ok to live from a place of fear or anything else. If that’s who you are being at the moment, wouldn’t you want know that?” The shame is released and I can witness myself. I’m also reminded of one of my favorite sayings, “Feel the fear and do it anyways.”
Listening to Messages From Fear’s Story
*In this article, my client’s name has been changed to keep their privacy and they have granted me permission to share their story.
Recently, while working with a client, Serena*, her challenge was that she was ready to move to the next step of applying for grad school and looking for a new place to live. She felt that there was a “Wall” in front of her – which represented her fears that stopped her from moving forward.
She wanted The Wall to break down so she could move forward. In frustration, she was hard on herself for not being able to push through.
Instead of imagining breaking it down forcefully, which could be a useful tool at different times, I asked her to notice the wall and imagine surround her and The Wall with loving light (any color).
I guided her to notice The Wall – acknowledge it and honor it that it has a message for her. Because of our work together, she was able to do this easily and to tune in with love. I invited her to ask it, what messages do you have for me?
With the energy of love surrounding her, she began crying and recognized that her fear was connected to giving too much to others and not herself. The guilt that she would have to feel if she said no, gave to herself, or turned towards herself. She noticed this with co – workers, but especially with her family.
Reclaiming the Power Behind Fear
In some Family Constellations healing work, Serena imagined her family – each person that she felt responsible for – and I invited her to look to each, one at a time. She felt into the consciousness of each person and shared messages from each to herself, as well as felt what a sense of each person. She wanted to leave the feelings and experience with them – the ones that seemed to belong to them, so she did not have to carry them any more.
With each person, Serena felt a different experience – one family member was super supportive and admiring her courage, another wanted her to live her own life and leave what did not belong to her, another had immense love from afar. Working with colors and energy, she released all that did not belong to her and sent it back where it belonged, and took back what was hers.
She felt ready to turn towards her own path. In doing so, she said, “I am taking ALL of me. And the love I have received from my family.”
I supported her in embodying the experience, slowing it down, and fully taking all of her as she turned.
When she turned towards The Wall that was there before, she noticed, “It’s gone!”
It organically shifted… the message and energy behind the fear was reclaimed – all the love and support she felt from her family in sensing deeper into the soul level.
Serena looked forward into her future, her journey. She saw beautiful lush green mountains, all with their peaks and challenges — that she felt the strength and power to move towards them and that she could handle it.
Fear Guides You to More of Yourself
While releasing responsibility for others is something Serena had been working on for the last few years, her soul was presenting her with another layer in facing this part of her.
Serena’s fear, The Wall, stopped her from going forward for good reason – to turn back around and go back and gather more energy, the power that she would need for her journey ahead. She felt clear, joyful, expansive, spacious in her body, grounded, and strong. Now she could help others from a place of freedom, not a place of obligation.
Our souls have a lovely way of guiding us (sometimes forcefully with fear) to more of ourselves and integration.
To the intensity of fear that exists, there is an equal amount of energy, power, and resource within it that is waiting for you to reclaim – parts of yourself that want to be reunited with you.
Turn Towards Your Fear With Love
What parts of you are fearful of taking a step forward? Of moving in your direction? Or of being yourself or doing what you truly want to?
I invite you to:
- Turn towards yourself and open to the sacred space of your soul
- Surround yourself with loving light of any color. Imagine that this is possible if this seems challenging or you are skeptical.
- Notice the part of you that is fearful. Observe and witness it. What does it look like? (A part of you, a block of color, another person, an object, etc.?)
- How does it feel? Allow sensations, emotions, feelings, and even movements or impulses to move through your body. Take breaks or pendulate if you begin to feel overwhelm or before overwhelm.
- Honor this part of you. From a place of loving and gentleness, ask it, “What messages do you have for me?” Listen for whatever it says without filter or judgment.
- Feel free to ask any other questions to this part of you. Some ideas are: What is your story? What do you need? What is your wish for me? What do you fear? Listen and feel through it slowly.
- Notice the original fear. Sense even tiny shifts or differences, if there are any. Repeat the practice as many times as you need.
Seeing Yourself as a Process
Back to my own fears for a moment – I am humbly reminded of the wisdom in me and through me, especially when I work with clients. I turn towards my own fear with all the love, as I’m ready to reclaim and integrate more power. I am a process of expansion.
And so are you!
I invite you to see yourself as a beautiful work of soul and body art that is unfolding its story.
I encourage you to be gentle with yourself as this takes practice and capacity building. I am here to support you! Feel free to reach out and share what this practice opens for you or what it is like, and if you would like any support.
*My client’s name has been changed to keep their privacy. My client has granted me permission to share their story.