Candice Wu 0:00
In this podcast learn how Patrick Kalscheur integrated spirituality and consciousness into an empowering practice as a family lawyer, mediator, and coach. How to move from scarcity towards abundance to open a stepping stone of gratitude towards manifestation and shifting from grief to empowerment.

Candice Wu 0:21
Hello, and welcome. You're listening to the body podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, embodied healing and self-love. My name is Candice Wu and I'm a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach and artists sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 0:52
All of the production and back in creation for this podcast is brought to you by the soul body women's retreat that will adventure in October 2018.

Candice Wu 1:12
This embodied healing retreat is inspired to support women and connecting soul and body and clearing out all of the garbage and clutter that stops them from being truly themselves in their joy at ease and feeling empowered. For this and future retreats, you can find out more at CandiceWu.com/retreats and your support and sharing or joining a retreat helps me make more healing albums, content and create more podcast episodes. I'm truly grateful for your support.

Candice Wu 1:39
How does one bridge spirituality wanting to make a difference and Family Law together, this is exactly what Patrick Kalscheur has done as a conscious family lawyer, a mediator and a coach. For this particular episode, whether or not you're in need of information about family law or divorce, you'll get some true abundant insight from Patrick about a variety of things in life. In Patrick, support of people going through one of life's greatest transitions of divorce, he starts by re-framing divorce from a process of grief and depression and the end of a relationship to what can also be a process that offers healing, growth and the new beginning. He collaborates with other healers and practitioners like myself working with the client's strengths to build a support system that helps a person move through the entire divorce process from the beginning and an all the way through to the life that they'd like to live. He uses practices like meditation and visualization to help facilitate a process of growth for his clients and as a special treat. Following this episode is a deeply powerful, guided gratitude meditation by Patrick to support you in deepening in your own abundant self. So, let's jump into the episode.

Candice Wu 2:54
Welcome, Patrick.

Patrick Kalscheur 2:56
Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's so good to talk to you, I've been following your journey, and really enjoying listening to everything that you've been having going on. So, I feel honored to be here today.

Candice Wu 3:08
Mmm. Thank you so much. It's really quite an honor to have you today, I would love for you to share how you got to this place in your life with all the aspects that you bring.

Patrick Kalscheur 3:16
Well, it's a long story, but I'll make it as short as I can for the podcast here. I have gone through many iterations of career and in my life, and I think when I first went to law school, I was really interested in creating positive change in the world. I had been doing Teach for America at the, in the inner city of Washington, DC, and I wanted to, to change the world. And I went into law school with all of this desire and idealism and, you know, get into law school. And all of a sudden, I find that I'm being drawn into this family law practice unexpectedly. And something that I pushed to the side and said, No, that's not really for me, I'm not interested in divorce. That sounds really depressing. I don't want to do that I want to go change the world. Well, fast forward a little ways to going into a large practice of being a litigator in a very large law firm in Chicago, working for big corporations, and realizing that my soul was just feeling crushed, and I wasn't doing any of the idealism and I wasn't doing anything that I felt really drawn to. And I knew I needed to make a change in my life. And this family law kept coming back to me. And at a certain point, when you get the same message over and over, sometimes I realized, I just have to listen to that. And I made a shift to practicing with families going through the biggest one of the biggest transitions you could ever go through in your life. And that's divorce. And I found myself really feeling like I could make a big positive impact on people's lives, while also still doing really good work that I could feel great about. And so, I've been practicing in family law for a while. But as I did that, I also realized that one of the things that the law doesn't naturally lend itself to was the other part of me that felt so important, which is my spirituality and the practices that really nourished me in my personal life, meditation and yoga and being in nature and the things that really just made me feel so alive in the world, I needed to find a way to also offer that to my clients and into my work. And when I started to accept that I needed to bring my whole self into my practice, I realized that there's really no reason that as a lawyer I couldn't bring those things to my practice itself into my clients. And so it's a long journey of lots of smaller awakenings along the way, where I realized that to really be in the best service to my clients, I had to bring all of these pieces together.

Candice Wu 6:17
That's beautiful. And it's such a reminder of that family practice, Family Law comes knocking at your door is such a reminder of these messages that we get, or these things that are trying to come to us come through us and to listen. And here it is in your life.

Patrick Kalscheur 6:21
Yeah, and those reminders are there and they're fresh, and they're needed. Also, when I'm just really trying to serve my client. And yeah, I want to be there to offer them all the tools possible that they could need, as they move through this huge transition in their lives and start planning towards that thing in the future, they're going to be something right now, they might be in a really brief stricken place. But I want them to see that as also an opportunity for healing and an opportunity for creating a new future for themselves, and bringing these other aspects of meditation and visualization, really helping people access things that can help them see what a more positive future could be for them, that really allows me to be really the best I think, advocate, I can be for them through a hugely difficult process.

Candice Wu 7:31
You're taking something that has been typically viewed you use the word depressing, but you're using this as a spiritual experience that they can learn more about themselves, they can take this experience and use it transformationally so that they have an even better life moving forward. And I think one of the first things that I noticed about your work when you shared it the first time with me is that you're supporting clients in a journey, not just to divorce but through that, all the way to where they want to get to in their lives. Is that right? And how do you do that?

Patrick Kalscheur 8:09
Yeah. So what I try to do, is start with just re-framing what divorce means for people a lot of times, because often people will see that as they come in with a lot of grief often or at some point, there's a lot of sadness, grief, there's a loss, there's a loss of the relationship and help them honor that and hold the space for them to be able to honor that and have other people that are their mental health practitioners, other healers that can help them move through that process. But then also try to help them begin the work of visualizing will, what can this look like in the future, and what can my life be like going forward, you know, if there are children involved, usually, there's a big hook for people to want to figure out how to move through a process where they're not going to do a lot of damage in the relationship with their soon to be former partners, so that they can co-parent their children together. And so it's really helping them come back to what feels like that future that I want to create. What feels like an authentic place that I want to be in the future and not get stuck in the anger, the grief, the fear, there's a lot of fear that comes up for people. And they and it's important to honor that it's important to journal about those things. It's important to have safe spaces to go and express those things. But we don't need to take it out in a legal process. We don't need to take it out in a way that's going to cause harm or damage or to ourselves, or to the possibility that we're going to have some type of relationship with our former partners in the future. Sometimes we don't have those, sometimes you don't. But what do you want to create in the future? And how can we start to visualize that?

Patrick Kalscheur 10:05
So we use a lot of tools that help people identify those tools that they're going to be most effective for them from what they already have in their lives. Some people it's really important about finding the right amount of exercise and diet and different tools that they have, that they can already touch on those things, to see that whether they have a meditation practice or a yoga practice, or finding little moments in nature to connect to themselves so that they can find a still and quiet place to be able to start to see, well, what's really important, what do I really want to create my future? How do I really want to go through this because this time that they have right now in the divorce process, again, I want to re-frame it to also an opportunity, an opportunity to create a new beginning, even though that might be really hard to be at the beginning of the process? But we do get there, we do start to see that there are opportunities for healing and creating a whole new set of realities.

Candice Wu 11:03
I love that a whole new set of realities.

Patrick Kalscheur 11:05
And so, you know, a lot of the things that I have different tools that I like to use with people. And one of the things I like to start with first is really assessing for them, what level of support are they going to need, because it's, it's a very challenging experience to go through. And so, you know, who are the people that they need to rely on will kind of therapies will be the most effective is there places they can go if they feel really challenged while we're going through that grieving process. And then as we start to move further along, we start to bring in meditations and visualizations and journaling exercises, writing exercises, to really start creating that new set of realities, creating those new experiences sitting in an energizing and visualizing those things that we want more of. I found it, you know, in my own life and making changes for myself to create the practice that I have right now. I see that they work and I see that my clients benefit from them. And I just feel so blessed and grateful to be able to share them.

Candice Wu 12:33
It's beautiful. Yeah, I think that's how you and I met was that collaborative piece that you work with all sorts of healing practitioners and support people. And you and I work together with clients at times, what are the types of healing practitioners that seem to be a good fit for your clients? Or would you refer to or connect with?

Patrick Kalscheur 12:33
Well, it depends on the client, each person probably could use their own team, so to speak. And so we try to work on helping to identify that often traditional mental health professionals either already involved or it's helpful to have them involved. But for those clients that want to re-frame this experience, as one of also spiritual emergence, the possibility of emerging in and seeing the spiritual peace that's growing. While they were all through this process, I'm really interested in finding other practitioners that might also do more spiritual merchant type of work. So, energy work, people that to Reiki and other forms of energy work, the ancestral healing can be huge for clients, the constellation work that you do, a lot of times, there's patterns that almost always I shouldn't say, a lot of times, almost always, you will see patterns, family patterns in the divorce process, re-emerge in that process. And of course, for each individual of the two spouses or partners. There's, there's a history there, right, and it goes back however, it goes back for each of them. And then they have their own dynamic that's playing out. And so having professionals that can help work with that is immensely helpful, it requires the client to be open to that, of course, the person going through it has to want to have that kind of assistance and help and support I find sometimes that a lot of that can be picked up. Actually, sometimes when we get to the other side of the divorce when we get through the legal process. And we finish that sometimes, then they're more ready for the healing piece. It just depends on the individual person. But acupuncture also is a place that I find people can get a lot of help. There are lots of different practitioners, it really kind of depends in part on what the person who's coming into the process through the divorce already has some experience in, and some comfort, comfort with, and what's emerging for them right now.

Candice Wu 14:56
Mm-hmm. And my experience working with divorce from a spiritual emergence place, or seeing what healing our growth can come of it, or what transformation this might be driving them towards. I've noticed a lot of things come up fears of money, not having enough, independence and fear that they may not be able to do it themselves, reaching out for support, and how that processes for them. What do you notice in that place that comes up as a piece that people are working with?

Patrick Kalscheur 15:52
There's definitely a lot of fear of there not being enough. That's very typical in normal, let's say, there's a couple that's been married for 10 years or 15 years, and they've purchased a home together. And they've made a lot of life decisions that always felt like they were making these decisions jointly and together. And now there's been a decision to go separate ways. And we have one home, and we're creating two homes, we have what we thought were savings for retirement, or for sometime in the future that I'll have to get divided. And so people start to get really scared. And really in a often their scarcity, their actual feelings of there not being enough, a sense of lack and any fears that and I think many people have this just any way, so that there can't be enough, there's not enough time, there's not enough money, there's not enough just resources in the world to have what they want. Those fears, if they exist, will get very exacerbated, because they're literally sitting down making decisions about how to divide up what they have, which might have already not felt like enough when it was one whole pot. So that's a very common fear that arises.

Patrick Kalscheur 16:50
Another big fear is, is the sense of loss, the fear of what will it be like a person might have a very good relationship with their in-laws or that set of the family or a set of friends, and what will happen when we get divorced, or we separate and I lose that? And what am I going to lose? These people are, they're not going to be in my life anymore. So there's that fear of loss and what life will look like in the future, in this new socially rearranged way. And of course, with children, if there are children involved, then there's, there's going to be a fear of little kids be okay, well, how will the children respond? How will they do living into homes and moving back and forth, and, of course, different fears at different ages for children? There's a lot of fear that comes up. And what I really try to do is get that level of support that my clients need to identify that that is a fear that isn't necessarily real, though. That's something that let's identify it as a fear. Let's talk about it. And then let's see, well, what can we do to alleviate that fear? How can we create a more self a sense of reality? And how can we start to plan for that what you want to have? So how can we move from that place of scarcity to a greater place of abundance? How can we create the experience of having enough? And sometimes that means we have to re-frame what is enough mean, what does that really mean in our lives. It's a process and it's something that by having other professionals help, as well as sometimes it takes time. I really feel like there's an opportunity for people to, to really grow through the process and get through some really difficult fears and learn about themselves and ways that they'll they can be stronger people on the other side. They can really start to move forward into a life that is something they may be never would have otherwise had, or thought they could have.

Candice Wu 16:50
Yeah. It feels like a deliverance from fear into empowerment. Through this process as an opportunity to know your self even deeper.

Patrick Kalscheur 18:58
It can be, but that's, that's the hope some people can't are unable to go there. And the hope in that situation is to give them some of the tools to be able to do that later. But for those that are willing to take the time and do really hard work around it, and do the deeply personal work, absolutely, it can be an amazing opportunity for growth. It's painful, there's pain that you have to go through, I mean, to go to get to a place of growth. I mean, I was listening to some of your podcasts around some of the sort of detox the spiritual detox that you are experiencing, I mean, some of those things we've into, and it's, it's many, many layers. And there's many of the layers that people that are going through a deep grief process are let themselves dive into whether it's the spiritual layer, the emotion layer, the physical layer, and physical also meaning the financial and legal as we can work through as many of those as the clients are willing to do, the greater the amount of growth, the greater the amount of opportunity to create a whole new situation in the future.

Candice Wu 20:16
For you. It's all about how far someone wants to lean into that, and how, how much they need or want that.

Patrick Kalscheur 20:23
Yeah and that's probably one of my biggest challenges. Because I sometimes I want to push a little further and I have to honor and hold back sometimes to say, Okay, I can see this. But if the person isn't ready to lean into that, that's okay. They can lean is this far as they're willing to go. And that's should be honored. And that's part of my work. And part of my challenge is to really hold back and give that space to let each person have their own healing process. Because they are going to have one, whether they're aware of it and conscious of it, and how deeply they want to go with it. That is happening. And it's not for me to sit in judgment around it, you know, it's just for me, to honor it, and to offer whatever tools and assistance that they're ready for.

Candice Wu 21:09
Yeah, I see in my mind, almost like a menu in a directory. And they can go in all these directions, and yet they ultimately need to choose for themselves. And for you to honor that, sounds like a really magical place that they can feel supported. And also see the big picture. If there's, there's sometimes you're in a place and you don't even know that there's a healing that could happen, or you don't even know that there are all these things you could do with it. And just to hold that with someone sounds really powerful.

Patrick Kalscheur 21:42
It's great to work. I feel just blessed to be able to, to do it. And to, to, to be available to help.

Candice Wu 21:50
And you also work as a mediator and with.

Patrick Kalscheur 21:54
I do.

Candice Wu 21:54
Yeah, can you say more about that work, and how you also work with both people in the park if they want that?

Patrick Kalscheur 22:01
Yeah. Um, as a mediator, it's very challenging work, and I enjoy it, I enjoy the challenge because I have to hold the space for both people. And the process is very similar, except that I'm trying to facilitate it, I'm trying to help facilitate it for both people. What is always the challenge is that often one person has moved beyond in their grief, their stages of grief, and their processing of the divorce than the other person. And so it's balancing those two pieces and saying, okay, I understand that you're ready to move, but we need a little bit of time over here. And so it's, it's really a dance between the three of us of trying to balance out the pace and the things that we can do, and the places that we can go and where we need to slow down and getting both of them to deal and trust and buy into that it's, it's it's very good, challenging work. But it's really great when both parties buy into the process and really want to go through that process. Because then I feel like I can offer the same tools to both of them. And if I'm only working with one person, and the other person is working with another attorney, you know, there's, we have some limitations on what we can do. So meditation is great because they both get to hear the same thing from me and see what the process is like. The difference though, is, as a lawyer, I can offer legal advice to a client as a mediator, I can't do that I can just listen and offer information and help them through the process and help them find ways through but I can't advise them on anything, you know, so it's a different hat to put on, but it's a fun hat to put on.

Candice Wu 24:03
And do people hire you as a mediator and then also together as their lawyer or is that just not allowed?

Patrick Kalscheur 24:09
Unfortunately, under the ethical rules, it's not allowed. Once someone hires me as their mediator, the law, unfortunately, and it sees people going through a divorce as adverse to one another like that they have interests that are adverse to each other. And because there's that presumption that they have adverse interest, there's a conflict of interest to represent. I can't represent as a lawyer. I can't represent people with adverse interest. So, if they hire me as a mediator, I'm a neutral and I represent both of them in that neutral role. But I represent neither of them in a legal advisory role, like a lawyer. If that I don't know if that makes sense or not, can be a little confusing.

Candice Wu 24:56
Yeah, it makes sense. I think that that's a fuzzy area for many people. So that's great that you're clarifying it here.

Patrick Kalscheur 25:03
Yeah, if I help people get through mediation and we get all the way to the end, then we need an attorney to finish. And in the state of Illinois, where I am, you have to go through court to get divorced as the final step. And so there has to be at least one attorney. And often it's great for both individuals to have an attorney to just talk to if they want to get that legal advice. And they want to test out some things or feel like they've got as much advice as they might need when they're going through the mediation process. But of course, often when, you know, it's important to have attorneys that really buy into mediation and are interested in helping them move through a process instead of interjecting ideas and opinions too much because that can obviously create conflict that doesn't have to be there.

Candice Wu 25:54
Mm-hmm. That makes sense. So want to shift gears, you have mentioned to me that you see yourself enough as a clear empath. Can you talk about that, and what you do for self-care around that?

Patrick Kalscheur 26:06
Yeah, so. So clear empath, when I say that, I really feel things, right. So when I am present with clients, I can get a sense of a feeling that something needs to be done, or that someone is experiencing something. And so that can extend, of course, as I was sharing with you more on a larger level. And right now, in this current climate that we live in, there's a lot of what feels like toxicity and just in the environment and the United States and as a clear empath, and feeling all of that there's a lot of self-care that needs to be done. And I have to do that with my clients, too. So for me, personally, I do a lot of meditations where I'm clearing out my energetic self, as well as my physical self. So I, I will do meditations where visualize and clear my energy centers out. And for me, particularly, it really resides in my second and third chakras, in the solar plexus, and just below, into me, into my abdomen. And so I have to do a lot of, I like to do some couple of body breathing some really Breath of Fire to get some of that energy out. So that's some of the self-care routines that I have. And then I also just have realized have to pace myself, I have to take rest. And I have to not feel like I need to just take on more and more clients in cases all of the time, there has to be a pace between it for me because otherwise, I'll take on things and then I'm not serving the people that I'm trying to serve. I'm not helping in the way that I want to be able to help because it's important that I'm very clear about what is mine, and what is theirs. And that I'm not bringing those things on for myself because then I'm not really being doubtful. I'm just confusing the situation. So I really have to ground myself and really have to clear myself on a regular basis.

Candice Wu 28:09
And just take send-off of that. What do you find is nourishing your soul lately. What fulfills you?

Patrick Kalscheur 28:16
What nature has? Oh, time in nature has always fulfilled me. So, whenever I can find a moment for walks outside, right now, here in Chicago, it's summertime, it's beautiful, the weather's fantastic. The days are long, just going for a walk with my wife in the morning nourishes me feels great. Meditation always does that for me. Yoga, those are things that really make me feel grounded and nourished for sure.

Candice Wu 28:47
Mm-hmm. So let's shift gears. Once more, I want to swing back to you supporting your clients manifesting what they truly want. And if we're used the words with me from scarcity towards abundance. I'd love for you to talk a little bit more about that. And how you see that.

Patrick Kalscheur 29:04
Yeah, so one of the things that again, because I've seen this come up a lot for my clients, I felt myself create this in my own personal life as well. And so what I've really started to work with is, it's a lot of what I was saying before, which is honoring and recognizing the pieces that are might be creating the scarcity and then identifying that which we want to create in our lives. So often, the moment when we say to ourselves, I can't have this, or I don't deserve this, or I just, I want this vacation, or I want this experience, I want more time with my family each time that we say that to ourselves, what we're really saying is, I don't have I can't have and we're creating the experience of scarcity instead of actually creating the thing that we want. So what I really try to work with people on is to find those inner triggers that are causing those messages. And that can appear for people physically.

Patrick Kalscheur 30:14
So with some meditation practices to sit and as those messages pop up, is there something that we feel in our bodies is their areas sensations or their memory. So their images are the things that are coming up that are causing some of these experiences of scarcity, these experiences of not being able to have what we want, and then writing about that, working with that, and then starting to talk about what are the things that I actually want to create? So if I want to have this vacation in some warm place, when it's winter time in Chicago? Well, how about visualizing, and having a meditation and visualizing what does it feel like what is the experience who is present with me really start to charge up the idea of that thing that I want to create, really start to come into the experience and come into being actually I am that which I want to create, and it empowers it and we energize it and with the more that we sit in a space of the experience that we want to have, it starts to just become a reality, it just will start to happen. We have the ability to make those things happen. If we can stop the message that is saying, I don't deserve it, I can't have it. But actually in it, actually can come into that experience, you can start to feel different sensations in your body. What happens when I visualize what it's like to be in the experience that I want to have? What images come up? What messages come up? And write about that and just cart start to sit in that experience more and more and more talent starts to become your reality.

Candice Wu 32:03
So, this makes no sense for the embody podcast? Why did you think to bring that here? I'm just kidding. With you, that's perfect, that's complete embodiment that's tuning into what you want embodying it, and you are it and just open yourself to what you already are. I love it. And that sounds like it relates right to the meditation that you're offering that we're going to release together as a separate podcast. So, if you're interested in that, if you're listening, that it will go out separately so that you can use it. But tell us a little more about that if it's exactly what you just described. Or if there's a little bit more for that.

Patrick Kalscheur 32:59
It's one of several different meditations of coming into the experience of that which I want to create. So one of the pieces that I've found is a sort of a good building block because sometimes people have a hard time visualizing what they want to have in the future. And so what I sometimes will work with people as a starting point, which is what I'm offering in this meditation is to come into gratitude of the things that I already have in my life. So, the meditation is to allow yourself to really start to see the things that are already present and whether it's the people that feel really important to us. What is it like to sit in the experience and the meditation of what are they offer? What is it that I love about that person? Or even it could be a challenge, they might create a challenge, but it's something that rewards me in my life. What about nature? Experiences that we've all had in nature, seeing a sunrise or a sunset, just saying thank you, and being grateful, and really coming into the experience that perhaps we've all had when we see a beautiful ocean vista or see the mountains? And what is that experience? Wow, I've had that. I want to create more of that. I'm grateful for it. I've come in into appreciation and gratitude for the things that we already have experienced, and we already have in our lives, and then starting to build from there. And I think a lot of times, energizing those experiences helps us start to see the things in addition to that and open ourselves up to having more of those. And then seeing the other things we might want to add into that to really come into the place of authenticity that we all want to live.

Candice Wu 34:22
Mm-hmm. It's a beautiful bridge and pathway opening. Good. Thank you so much for offering that I'm really excited to share that with our audience. Again, if you are listening and you want to try that out, you can check out the link that's connected with this podcast and it will also be published separately so that you can listen to it all on its own. And Patrick, now I want to jump into our lightning round a little bit of a playful questionnaire.

Patrick Kalscheur 34:25
Awesome.

Candice Wu 34:25
Ready?

Patrick Kalscheur 34:25
Yeah.

Candice Wu 34:26
Okay. What's the title of the current chapter of your life?

Patrick Kalscheur 34:56
I'm summer.

Candice Wu 34:59
Haha!

Patrick Kalscheur 35:00
And I say that can I only give one-word answers or connects me?

Candice Wu 35:04
You can explain.

Patrick Kalscheur 35:06
Okay, it is not just because it's summary here. But because I feel like in the summertime, there's so much playfulness. And there's so much vibrancy and abundance. And in the summertime right now in Chicago, you go to the farmers market, and everything is, is there and right now I'm just in this beautiful place of having so much abundance and just joy in my life. So I'm just really grateful for all of it. And so yeah, that's the chapter that I'm, I'm currently enjoying.

Candice Wu 35:32
I love it. I'm so happy for you can almost feel the color fullness of everything you're experiencing. Because I'm not there. I'm a bit of a cold place. I'm in Perth, Australia, but it's not that cold. It's quite enjoyable. And every other day we have like thrashing rains, which I love thunderstorms. So

Patrick Kalscheur 35:52
Yeah.

Candice Wu 35:53
But it's quite different from that summery feel.

Patrick Kalscheur 35:55
Well, we get good thunderstorms in the summertime here, too. So I could.

Candice Wu 35:58
Right, you can they'll mix of both.

Patrick Kalscheur 36:01
Yeah.

Candice Wu 36:02
Okay. Here's one. If you could make a 22nd phone call to yourself at any point in your life, the present, future, past, when would you call yourself and what would you say?

Patrick Kalscheur 36:16
I would probably call myself let's see, I would say in the future. And I'll because the thing is that that I know that challenges I'm in this great place right now. I'm in summer right now. But I also know that autumn and winter are going to come back again. So at that point in the future, when I feel of those challenges, and I feel the difficulty, the core issues reemerge to say Hey, remember that chapter of summer and how beautiful it was? You can have that again and come back to it. Come back to the meditation come back to the being present in the moment. Come back to to the practices, you know, and you love to come back to nature come back to those things. Because I know that that challenge will re-emerge. It's just a fact of life. And so I think that's the 22nd phone call. I would have myself.

Candice Wu 37:12
Nice reminder. Mm-hmm. Okay. See, what job would you be horrible at?

Patrick Kalscheur 37:21
Secretary! I can't organize very well at all.

Candice Wu 37:24
Really?

Patrick Kalscheur 37:25
What are the challenges of having my own practice is that I have to be my own secretary and I need to hire. It was like: “Oh, my goodness.” Organization is not my greatest strength. So yeah. Being a secretary, or anyone who has to organize things, files and things like that.

Candice Wu 37:41
Mm-hmm. It's fun to laugh at ourselves a little and just look silly aspects of where we are.

Patrick Kalscheur 37:50
Yeah.

Candice Wu 37:51
You know, not the best. Yeah. Okay. So I recently had this dream where this big van in front of me fell into the sky like it fell off the road and into the sky crashed into a building. Big explosion. And then dinosaurs came out of the side door. And I got a lot out of that, like, yeah, old habits leaving me. This needed need for this grand explosion for this to happen. What's an interesting or strange dream that you've had lately? If your dream, if you remember your dreams.

Patrick Kalscheur 38:22
I struggle to remember my dreams. Actually. That's it's one of the things that so when I have them, I know to pay attention to them. And I haven't had really strong ones recently. But in the not too distant past. I mean, I certainly, you know, there's, I've always had the this, this dream of running and jumping. Just there's the cliff. There's like, there's that at the end of it. There's running, running, running and what's going to happen when I jump off that cliff. And I had that dream alive right before I left to start my practice that I'm in because I literally felt like I was jumping off a cliff. I didn't know if there was a net that was going to catch me or not. But so anytime that I feel this emergent big change, I have this. It's a scary feeling. And it's also exhilarating at the same time because I jump and there's just that all those butterflies, but I always wake up for I fall.

Candice Wu 39:28
Whoo hoo hoo.

Patrick Kalscheur 39:29
I don't. I don't know what we do. It's always it always. It. It's one of those things that jolt me away. So yeah, unfortunately, I wish that I know. There's so much rich information and dreams. And I just sleep so hard. I don't wake up and I don't remember them.

Candice Wu 39:47
Mm-hmm. I, when I hear you talk about this dream of what came to me was, this was the process you had as you jumped into this career in which you support people do that very thing, the same thing, that they're taking this jump and they have no idea what's on the other side. And they have to wake up. Well, they don't have to. But it might be nice to wake up.

Patrick Kalscheur 40:12
We hope they do. Yeah.

Candice Wu 40:13
Yeah. But taking the leap, you had to take your own leap. And the work you do it seems like an iteration of that same kind of leap?

Patrick Kalscheur 40:25
Yeah, I think so. I think so. And, you know, it's the same thing about the call to myself in the future is like, I've taken these leaps in the past. And I know that through that process, and taking those leaps in the hard work, and to really some beautiful, rich stuff that comes out of it. And that's what I tried to share with my clients and encourage them to. I know it's scary, but take that jump, and it's amazing what's on the other side.

Candice Wu 40:58
So, thank you. Thanks for playing with the lightning round. We're coming to the end of our podcast. And is there anything else, Patrick, that you want to share today?

Patrick Kalscheur 41:08
No, I just, I'm really grateful to be here talking to you. So enjoyed following your adventures and the process that you're going through, and really grateful for you sharing that for to all of us on this podcast, and inviting me to be here. And it just about a great, great time talking with you.

Candice Wu 41:29
Thank you, Patrick. It's been wonderful talking to you today. And as always, every time we connect, and today, I just learned so much about how you bring so much support and optimism and transformation into your process of working with your clients. It's just such beautiful work and very unique. I've not met another lawyer that takes it to this level of depth and heartfelt connection and life, meaning it's still wonderful.

Patrick Kalscheur 42:01
Thank you.

Candice Wu 42:02
So where can people find you?

Patrick Kalscheur 42:04
Well, I'm in Chicago, and my website is Chicago conscious law. com. And they can find me there. I'm also doing life coaching through my wife's practice at introspective family therapy in Chicago. So I'm, I'm on the north side and the Lake View. And Ravens Wood neighborhoods. So, that's where I'm at.

Candice Wu 42:26
Great! And when you're working as a life coach, what aspects of life are you working with? Or who are you working with?

Patrick Kalscheur 42:34
Well, so, I like to use a lot of the same tools that I was talking about, except that there's no legal process involved, right? So we take the legal stuff out completely. And so anyone who's going through a life transition, you know, I've worked with people that, for example, preparing to take the bar exam has been a great, great one for someone with a lot of fear around that visualizing success using some of these same visualization and meditation techniques to help them synthesize the information.

Patrick Kalscheur 43:04
One of the things that I really found that helped me get to be in the practice that I'm in is once I started to, because I used to do litigation, I used to be in the courtroom, I used to, and if you can, can imagine you people have seen it on TV. But it's a really high-stress situation where you feel all the sense of responsibility for the client and the outcome. And you're in this very convoluted environment in the courthouse with all these weird rules. And there's all this you try to remember all this information and pack it all in. And so, once I realized that if I just crowded myself and I did my meditation, I brought my spirituality into my work. And I was focused, but I was really just having a conversation with the judge or with the client. And, and it's, it didn't have to be so convoluted. And so I learned that so I like to work with other lawyers, and I like to work with other people that want to bring that into their own life lives and their own practices to how can I get grounded? How can I get into a place where my message that I need to convey is coming out very clearly? It's exactly what I want to say. Um, so I like to do that work with people in that environment. But I also like to work with people might be going through job transitions or just change that they have going on, and they want to visualize and create that new future for themselves.

Candice Wu 44:25
Beautiful. Thank you so much, Patrick.

Patrick Kalscheur 44:26
Thank you.

Candice Wu 44:29
You're welcome. Thank you. Stay tuned for Patrick's gratitude meditation and look forward to talking to you again, Patrick. Thank you.

Candice Wu 44:38
Thank you so much for joining us today. It's a pleasure to have Patrick on the show. And every time I meet with him, I do feel this sense of empowerment and positivity radiate from even the hardest things. You can learn more about Patrick by checking out the meditation that he has offered on the show the next podcast and connected with his episode and you can check out his info at www.chicagoconsciouslaw.com. Thank you so much for listening. And before you go, I'd like to invite you to listen to more podcast interviews, meditations and healing explorations at CandiceWu.com/podcast. And if you'd like to subscribe to my bi-monthly newsletter, you can become a member of the embedded community at CandiceWu.com/embody. We'll get lots of different healing meditations, grounding practices, and information about upcoming events. If you liked this episode, if anything spoke to you, or you like what I do and want to support my work, I would be so grateful if you went to CandiceWu.com/Patreon and made a donation of any amount. All that money goes straight into producing the podcast episodes as well as other healing meditations and albums that go out to the public. Thank you so much for listening and see you next time on The Embody podcast.

Candice Wu 0:00

Today, we have a special meditation led by guest, Patrick Kalscheur, who was a guest on the podcast this week, you can find his full podcast at CandiceWu.com/patrick. This is also a kickoff of the Embody Podcast, being a space where other healers, meditation specialists or practitioners can offer a taste of what they do. So, if there’s a specific thing that you’re looking for, a type of experience you’d like to have, feel free to reach out to me and let me know. And without further ado, let’s jump into the meditation with Patrick.

Patrick Kalscheur 0:40

Hello, and thank you for joining me today in this meditation on gratitude. Gratitude is so important for us to focus in on the things in our lives that we really appreciate, because if we want to create more of that, which we really want, appreciating what we already have can really focusing in on the qualitative reasons, the feelings, the emotions, the energy behind why we like those things and want those things in our lives that appreciate them. We give ourselves the opportunity to really charge up that positive experience and focus in on what it is that we really appreciate in our lives and just offer that gratitude.

So, as we build towards creating the life we want to live, we want to really understand how it is that those are the things we want. That information can come through as sensations in your body. It can come through as images, a memory, there will be lots of different things that might appear during the course of this meditation. What I ask is that you have a journal, and a pen, and a glass of water, and you go ahead and pause this meditation if you need to, to write down, record any really important information that comes in, because I want to invite you to really build on that, if there’s a feeling in your body, a sensation, a tingling sensation in your stomach or your heart feels expansive. At a certain moment, when you feel grateful for something, write that down. If there’s an image or a memory, take a note of it, and then allow yourself to come back and build on that.

Also, feel free to invite in other things than what I’m offering in this meditation that you personally are grateful for in your life. Feel free to take a break and drink from a glass of water, and come back and just keep building on that gratitude and seeing how this can grow for you, and how you can really start to invite in those things that you truly want in your life, start to become them. So, once you have that journal, pen, a glass of water, and a comfortable chair, please join me.

First, come into your chair. I like to use a straight back chair, allowing my arms to rest comfortably in my lap or on the arms of the chair. Feel your posture, direct and tall, but your shoulders relaxed, you’re breathing able to come in and out of your body, simply. Let your breath come deep down into your belly. Feel the breath, fill your belly on the inhale and release out of your body on the exhale.

Take a few deep breaths like this. Inhaling into your belly, exhaling out of your body. Then let your breath travel further up into the space in your chest and your heart, and really start to expand that space with the inhale, welcoming that in and releasing on the exhale, just feel your body allowing any sensations that arise to arise, taking note of them, any images that come in to appear and letting them go with each inhale and each exhale.

Now, I ask you to turn your attention to something that you can feel truly appreciative for. I often like to think of people that are closest to me, those that bring me laughter, that are honest with me, those that I truly love, and I know their love for me is pure. See them. What does it feel like to see this person or this group of people supporting you, loving you, and you simply loving them back for who they are? You may feel a smile come to your face, let it come. That could be a memory, an image of some time you spend together.

Now, expand this gratitude out to more people, other friends, family, colleagues, those that teachers have come before us or others that we respect, and love, and just let yourself feel full of love and gratitude for time. Thank you. Thank you for the gifts you have brought into my life. Thank you for the love. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for the good times we’ve spent together.

And as we continue on, welcome in others that bring joy and peace into your life, that could be a pet that you feel especially close to or once felt close to that you may have lost, but that love is still there. See them, appreciate them, feel any sensations that come in your body. There could be tingling, warmth, new sounds that you remember, appear.

Now, let’s bring our gratitude to this beautiful, Great Mother Earth of ours. Feel and see the warmth of the sun in the gifts that the sun provides to us, beautiful warm summer days, the plants that grow and are nourished by the sun.

Thank you, sun, and see the trees and the birds that live and singing those trees, and the beautiful songs that they bring to us, really allowing yourself to. Remember a time or a feeling of when you heard those birds singing.

And thank you to the mountains and the ocean. How awesome you are and how humble I feel in your presence. Thank you for the beautiful sunrises and sunsets that happen every day. Thank you to the stars and a brilliant sky. Thank you to the moon and the rhythms that you create for us.

Thank you for the home that I have. Thank you for the food that is present in my life. Allow yourself to take a few moments, now, to appreciate anything else that feels particularly special and relevant to you. Really letting any sensations arise in your body, memories, images to arise.

Now, you can ask for more of these things that are so appreciative of. I welcome into my life even more sun, more gratitude, more feelings of peace and love, time with these special people.

Thank you for this moment to be here in meditation together for the breath that I breathe. I am here ready to receive more and the deepest gratitude and appreciation to you all. Namaste.