This is an experiential that can support you in standing behind yourself. It combines constellations, Somatic Experiencing and embodiment with your inner parts, and all those that support you, to bring you into the new year with more of yourself.

Candice Wu 0:23

Hello and welcome. You’re listening to the Embody Podcast, a show about remembering and embodying your true nature, inner wisdom, Embodied Healing, and self-love. My name is Candice Wu and I’m a holistic healing facilitator, intuitive coach, and artist sharing my personal journey of vulnerability, offering meditations and guided healing support, and having co-creative conversations with healers and wellness practitioners from all over the world.

Candice Wu 0:57

If you’d like to jump right to the experiential itself without a little bit of the intro and a story from me, you can just click through in the show notes and the markers jump to the part of “let’s begin”.

Candice Wu 1:12

If you have some sort of podcast app, usually if you click forward, it’ll jump to different chapters and you can find that portion of “let’s begin”.

Candice Wu 1:22

Wow, this was the first time that I have had hiccups before I wanted to record a podcast and I just had this thought that I’m so lucky that I haven’t had hiccups when I’ve had a guest and had to deal with that experience, I’m sure it would be fine in some way or I don’t know, I do one of those tricks that gets rid of hiccups but none of — I just kind of let that happen today without trying to make it stop and I get hiccups for like 15 minutes which is really rare for me. And so, my stomach is a little sore like I’ve done a workout but I’m here and I’m so happy that you’re here too. This is the week before New Year’s of 2020 and I thought that it would be lovely to do something that can bring you into the new year with more of yourself with a fullness and a state of being of self-support.

Candice Wu 2:28

It’s great if you are doing resolutions or tuning into theme words for this next coming year like words that you want to focus on, energies you want to focus on, instead of a new year’s resolution you can try this or in addition to it and if you’re someone that wants to do something like a cleansing and shifting the energies, integrating what energies have been in this year, looking through the year and reviewing it last year when it was 2018 shifting into 2019, I did an episode called Ending and Beginning the New Year with Grace with cleansing, impermanence, and integration.

Candice Wu 3:15

So, it was an episode of touching into each month of that last year and letting the body digest and release and acknowledge the experience of that month, so that you can let that all digest and metabolize through as much as possible at least, to have some space for coming into the new year.

Candice Wu 3:40

If you’re interested in that, I really had lots of good feedback from people that that was helpful. You can find the episode at CandiceWu.com/ep53. Along with that, the Ally with Death audio experiential is now on sale until January 6, 2020. This audio is about 75 minutes and it guides you through with my voice and really lovely, moody, and supportive as well as provocative music by Larry St. Germain on his hand pan. And it is a simulation of death so that you can really face and clear out what is vital to your life force, what your soul wants to cleanse out and complete and digest so that you have lots of space to be in the new year with vitality and coming back to your playfulness, whatever deadweight is in your system, in your energetic system or in your psyche. This is the chance to be in a process that can support you in moving that all through and providing yourself with a lot of love, self-forgiveness and envisioning with your whole inner wisdom on board. If you’re interested in that, you can find it at CandiceWu.com/death. And again, it’s on sale until January 6, 2020.

Candice Wu 5:12

And before we jump into the experiential, I want to talk about some of the inspiration for this.

Candice Wu 5:19

A couple of people in my life has been talking about the gallbladder and blockage in their gallbladder, for whatever reason they’re aware of it or they had gone to a holistic doctor of some sort that had given them that information. And they were asking me about my sense of it.

Candice Wu 5:39

So, the gallbladder energy has been coming up and the gallbladder and the liver are like sister energies. The meridians of the gallbladder and liver cycle together, the gallbladder on the outer side of the body and the liver on the inner side, and to be very nonspecific in general at the moment, and in Ayurveda, the liver and gallbladder related to the Akasha Mahābhūta, the element of the Akash, that’s the physical space that something occupies.

Candice Wu 6:12

And recently, actually, Susan Lipshutz was on the podcast talking about Akashic Records and the Akashic Realm. So, it’s really a lovely sequel to that, that we’re here now talking about the liver and gallbladder which connect with the Akash. It’s the physical space something occupies, it’s the wood element in Chinese medicine. This energy in our body does create the physical body as we know it and how it feels where the blockage intention is, the shape of our physical body. It’s that blueprint underneath, much like the chakras, but this relating to the meridians and it’s about occupying our space, as we are with what we desire and need.

Candice Wu 6:59

The liver energy is the energy of creation and desire and it is connected with the reproductive center, what we desire, what we birth, what we want to birth or feel in relation to the world and others, that we take up our space and we have a right to that space, and we’re able to protect that space. So the gallbladder channel running down the side of the body down the IT band, all the way to the pinky toe. Really, if you think about putting your foot down, that if you’re able to put your foot down when you need to, that is the power of protecting your energy, standing up for what’s right for you. And sometimes that’s really firmly or strongly and sometimes that’s subtly but the ability to do so to have your boundaries and feel the right to do that, feel the worldliness to have what you need and protect your own space and energy in a way that feels right for you, to support yourself in a way that’s right for you, to not tolerate things that don’t feel right to you, that’s all the energy of gallbladder in standing up and asserting, and also making decisions that support you.

Candice Wu 8:25

If our creative energy or what we desire and what we need is thwarted, if it gets disrupted or violated, then anger comes forward. Some people wouldn’t call this anger and it’s not quite necessary to call it anger. There are varying degrees on that spectrum of what that means. My Somatic Experiencing teacher trainer, one of them, Maggie Klein calls it “red energy”, and when something is violated or thwarted, that hurts us or gets in the way of what we want or need, or is not what we want to need, then that red energy comes up in our bodies to stand up for what we need, to put a boundary up or to say no, to put our foot down.

Candice Wu 9:23

If that energy doesn’t get to be used, if we are taught that we’re not allowed to have what we need, or we’re not allowed to stand up for ourselves, perhaps that we’re not allowed to be angry, or say no, or to have what we need, then that energy gets blocked up and the liver and the gallbladder get blocked when that energy doesn’t get to cycle and digest through and be used. That leads to blockages in the energetic system of liver and gallbladder and of course, other systems in the body. And we’re in nervous system understanding, the polyvagus nerve, sensing this kind of threat to the body, will connect with the other organs in the body shutting certain systems down. And so we have an effect in the whole body in different spaces, in different ways and that can create a level of nervous system overwhelm. When we feel overwhelmed in our nervous system and the nervous system says too much, then we can go into a free state or tonic immobility, if we want to be more scientific. In that state, says that, it was too much for our body to handle and we can go into depression.

Candice Wu 10:49

So we can talk at length about the details of polyvagal theory or the different energies, of the different meridians, all these different thematic experiences of the human body and psyche and yet, this experience of whatever your body is having, whatever’s going on in your body and how you experience yourself and relate to yourself is very personal and unique.

Candice Wu 11:19

And the way that I like to discover what’s happening is not so much knowing these facts and principles of different organ systems or how the body functions, although that really does help a great deal just to have that openness and knowing and all the different tools that can come out of it. But I do like to use the tool of asking my body and letting my intuition and knowing come forward and cultivating that intuition.

Candice Wu 11:54

If you’ve been listening to the podcast, or if you want to jump onto the website and search for these specific angles of looking at this process, I do talk about Somatic Experiencing. I do talk about Family Constellations and how the body can manifest something that the lineage or past life has not yet resolved or integrated.

Candice Wu 12:22

And sometimes, I talk about the meridians, or Ayurveda and Chinese medicine. So there are places from which all of this knowledge can come from. And I also share how to talk with the body. There was an episode called Conversations with the Body and you can find that at CandiceWu.com/conversationswiththebody that can guide you in that conversation.

Candice Wu 12:50

And a couple of months ago, when I was working with my feelings around the Hong Kong protests and what was happening there, and I saw how people were standing up for each other, I felt my gums receding on the second to last molars at the bottom. And, receding gumline is something that I’ve been dealing with on and off throughout my life. And when I noticed it this time, I felt Okay, I’m ready to heal another level of this and strengthen my gums. How do I do that?

Candice Wu 13:26

So I talked with my gums and listened and just felt into what it was going to show me and it took a little time, in this time, I got the message, stand up for yourself more, we can’t take it anymore. And as I felt a standing up for myself and what that would mean I felt into that in my body, the feeling of it, I could feel my gums standing stronger and firmly around my teeth, teeth being very connected with the kidneys and our strength of will, the bone. And so it was clear to me that if I were to stand stronger for myself around who I am and what I need to the next level, then these little spaces of my gums might find a new way. There might be more energy there to create the physical expression of that standing up for myself in my gums.

Candice Wu 14:32

So I practice that a lot and worked with bringing my energy to stand up for myself more and of course work with more Somatic Experiencing practices of working through fight responses and that putting my foot down and being able to have stronger boundaries, clearer ones, finding different ways to communicate that then I had before another round of it, and my gums feel great right now. Let’s see, let’s check. There’s a tiny bit of sensitivity in some spots but overall, it’s a lot stronger. And I feel that that’s reflecting what’s going on in my life, that there are these little spots that are still asking for me to stand up and I’m working on it and it’s in that process.

Candice Wu 15:32

So this experiential here today is to support you in standing up behind yourself. It’s to give your body an experience of support, where it may have been lacking or you may have been wanting more support from others or from your parents or whoever in your life, that you can give that to yourself and embody it.

Candice Wu 16:02

So if you’re ready to begin with me, feel free to find a comfortable place to be and let’s begin.

Candice Wu 16:13

I’d invite you to start by standing up and as you stand up, let your body be just as it is. Resist any temptation to stand up or push your chest out or be in any sort of power position or change your body and just be as you are.

Candice Wu 16:40

As you’re doing that, notice how your body feels and how it is, without any judgment or pressure on your body to change. We’re gathering information about what your body feels like here. Where the weight is in your feet? How strong you feel in your body? Or, where there’s any holding, curling in contraction, where there’s any expansion, openness. Does your body feel lifted or weighted? Feel if your body is leaning back or forward or there’s a movement happening inside or outside the impulse of your body and just let your body follow those impulses and movements. Be in the swaying if they’re swaying or be in stillness if there’s stillness. Also, notice your breath, where your breath reaches and where it doesn’t.

Candice Wu 18:06

And now I invite you to call forward the part of you that has strength and unconditional love. If that’s hard to do, call upon the part of you that is either the most coherent or is your inner wisdom or the part of you that knows how to support other people and encourage and love others.

Candice Wu 18:41

Notice how that part of you can be in the world, especially towards other people if you are very supportive of others.

Candice Wu 18:58

Now imagine that part of you, that is your inner wisdom or unconditional love or the part that supports others’ turn towards yourself and shine that light of love and support towards you. Notice if you can receive that love and support. You can even picture light shining from yourself to yourself. It can be any color light that feels supportive. Notice if this is easy or hard to do. Just be gentle with yourself if this is unfamiliar, or if emotions come up or experiences come up that are unexpected. And if you allow yourself to receive even more of this love and support, notice what that would feel like or how it feels in your body now.

Candice Wu 20:19

Observe what happens in your body, does it stay the same? Is there any difference or shift in how your body stands or holds itself or is, how is your breath now?

Candice Wu 20:43

Feel as many cells of your body that are able to receive this loving support, kind of love that no matter what, supports you, from head to toes to your fingers.

Candice Wu 21:14

And now invite that part of you to stand behind you and place your hands on your shoulders. If it’s hard to imagine, imagine what it would be like to be able to imagine your most supportive self standing behind you with all the love, power, and support. All the support that you need, all the support that you wish for, the feeling that light is coming through you from this part of you, shining through you, shining forward into your life, your future, where you’re looking and that you’re able to even lean on this part of you for more support when you feel doubtful or anxious, scared, if you feel uncertain. Imagine leaning towards or reaching towards this supportive part of you that catches you and hold you, that is all compassionate to your feelings.

Candice Wu 22:53

And as you look forward into your life, into all the places that you move in life and where you’re going, imagine what it would be like to picture this part of you, going with you, standing behind you through all parts of life.

Candice Wu 23:18

Notice how your body is experiencing this, what sensations, what emotions? Is your body moving or feeling any impulses or not? And just being gentle with any emotions that do come up as some difficult feelings might want to move through or be acknowledged.

Candice Wu 23:51

And if you’d like to take this one step further, picture all those that support you whether they’re people that are alive, things or animals, nature, spirits or guides, teachers, beings of light, beings from other dimensions, your inner parts, Earth, imagine anything that supports you standing behind you now. Notice how much of this you’re able to feel into and receive and if anytime this is too much or it feels overwhelming to take that much in, don’t and just take a break and know that this is a practice you can come back to and take in a little more, feel more support.

Candice Wu 24:55

You could even just imagine one support person or entity at a time rather than all. Just play with who’s back there for you now and what amount and capacity are you able to feel into their support, their love, their light, moving through you and supporting you in your life.

Candice Wu 25:35

And as you look forward into the next year, plant the seed that you can call upon your inner support to stand behind you or shine your light on you anytime, as well as calling upon any support that you’re aware of in your life to bring you more resource, bring you more strength and inner loving, to call upon that inner reflection of those outer people or parts so that enlivens in you as you move through the world.

Candice Wu 26:27

Take a moment to feel any parts of you in your body that are connected with that support and feeling any pleasure or soothing, calmness, openness from that support, no matter what other feelings are going on.

Candice Wu 26:56

Take your own time here and if you need more time to stand with your support, feel free. And whenever you’re ready, feel free to close at any time and just let your body be and continue to bring that support with you in your life. Thank yourself for practicing and invoking more in yourself, more support and just being aware of the support that you are, that you bring and that you can turn towards yourself with great love and power.

Candice Wu 27:41

I’m so glad that you’re here with me today. Thank you so much for moving through 2019 with me, or jumping into this experience now and wishing you so much love into the new year and lots of self-loving.

Candice Wu 27:59

The ability to stand behind ourselves, support ourselves, if we could do that more often, and feel the resource that is within us, especially in the dark times and times where we really need more loving, or those pockets of ourselves that don’t know how to love, if we can stand behind ourselves and take up space and step forward with who we are and what we want to need, imagine what that would be like.

Candice Wu 28:46

And I wish all that for you and more in this next coming year and today. I’m looking forward to seeing you in the new year. And thank you so much again for joining me on the Embody Podcast, until next time and into the new decade.